Monday, September 10, 2012

My Muse Seems to Have Fled


A Rather Mixed Bag
An entire weekend gone and I didn't post anything after Friday. Over the weekend I thought, "Hhhmm, I should sit down and post something. Anything." But I had nothing. Nada. Zilch. Bupkis.

Monday dawned and I set out for my place of employment. Got a late start. No big deal, my company does flex time. You get in, you do your eight, you're done. So I adjusted accordingly. But then...

At my local Dunkin' Donuts, had the old guy with two fistfuls of change. Seems one of his buddies sent him on the coffee run. One hand held the buddy's money, the other held his money. As he was ordering he seemed to have a crisis of confidence over which hand held whose money.

Of course, that occurred while the nice lady behind the counter was trying to get him to place his order. After having a prolonged sotto voce conversation with himself, old guy got things sorted out. Until he realized that he couldn't remember what his buddy wanted. Eventually he remembered, placed his order (as I wondered if it was actually possible for him to do so any slower than he actually did) and the rest of us poor slobs got to get our coffee and head out for work.

Aside: There are a number of "old guy behaviors" which I have alerted my progeny to be on the look out for in me as I age. The above, that's one of them. Another is driving in the left lane on the highway at 20 miles under the speed limit. (Or any lane for that matter!) A third is taking a corner in one's vehicle as if you have a trunk full of nitroglycerin. That is, if you go around a corner at greater than 5 MPH, your car will explode. If the kids notice me exhibiting any of these behaviors, they have my authorization to put me in a home. The caveat here is that the Missus has no vote in this process. She already claims that I act like I'm 80 years old. Or 12 years old. Kinda depends on the time of day I guess.

(Yes, yes, yes, I'll get to the opening graphic eventually. Patience. Patience.)

So I'm on the road, coming up on a "right turn on red" intersection. 'Lo and Behold! A gigantic truck pulling a trailer which appears to be loaded with about a bazillion tons of cast concrete objets d'art. Wonderful. As the truck accelerates at approximately 10 feet per day up the road, I'm thinking, "Maybe I should just take the day off. Turn off the road at the next intersection and just go home!"

But no, I'm in luck, Mr. Big Truck turns off the highway, clearing my path. 'Lo and Behold! Now I have a school bus in front of me.

Back in my day, there was one bus stop for an entire neighborhood. Nowadays I swear there is a bus stop every fifty feet. But we're on the main thoroughfare through my quaint New England seacoast village, so there aren't THAT many residences. But of course, there's at least one with a very young boy waiting with a very old lady to catch the bus.

Now people that age just aren't that spry. And of course the boy was rather young and small. So grandma had to assist him onto the bus. Once the little guy was aboard and grandma had mosied back down off the bus, the driver now just had to get up and do something within the vehicle. All the while I'm sitting there wondering if I'm going to make it to work before the first snow.

Eventually we're rolling again and fortunately the bus had no more stops and turned down the next side street. So eventually I get to work. Of course my colleagues, clever lads they are, all greet me with "Good Afternoon!" It's about 0745, not even close to lunch. But those are my work-mates, keeping me honest. (Smart a$$es!)

So I get the old computing device booted up, I log in and, as is my wont, I head over to The Lexicans to check out the "Daily Lex", then it hits me, I've missed three days in a row! Unprecedented. Unbelievable. Unconscionable. What, did I fall off the planet over the weekend? Did I even turn my computer on over the weekend? Actually I did but only for a few moments before the love of my life yelled up "Are you going to cut the grass today? Or should I go ahead and notify the state that they can turn our yard into a wild life preserve?"

So we cut grass. With a broken toe. (Now there's a story I could have blogged about!)

So Saturday was occupied with forced labor yard work.

Sunday, of course, we go to church. And now, of course, the NFL season has begun. So I, like many others, will be spending these last, lovely waning days of summer, glued to the idiot box watching football.

Yes, now I'm going to talk about the lead graphic. Geez, have you folks no patience at all?

For college ball, we have two "frowny" faces and a neutral. Colorado State lost. Army lost (and yes I follow the service academies as much as possible and root for those future officers). Now the neutral face you may have questions about. You may be saying, "Aren't you glad Michigan won? I thought you rooted for Michigan?"

Well, yes, I do, normally. But do you see who they played? Air Force! And I am retired Air Force. So I had real mixed feelings about that one. Yes, my son-in-law Big Time is a huge Michigan fan as is blog-buddy Buck. But still, they did beat a service academy and it was Air Force. Just sayin'.

Now as far as the pros go. New England won big and looked impressive, particularly on defense. But it was against the Titans so we'll reserve judgement for now. But dammit the Packers lost! I've been a fan of Green Bay since the Lombardi days. You know, Vince Lombardi, the guy the Super Bowl trophy is named after?

Of course, as I went to college in Colorado I also love the Broncos. (State law back then said you got in state tuition if you rooted for the Broncos. I kid.) Also the Nuke is a HUGE Denver fan, she was born when we lived in Denver so that must be in her blood somehow. I also really like Peyton Manning, even when he played for the Colts. And for a New England fan, that's saying a lot.

So the weekend was rather a mixed bag. And...

Excuse me, I hear someone knocking on the door...

Ah, it's my muse! Apparently she's back.

6 comments:

  1. So I had real mixed feelings about that one.

    It must be time for me to post The Rules again. I was seriously disappointed that Big Blue beat AF. We have our loyalties.

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    1. Read "The Rules". Whole-heartedly concur. And yes, we do have our loyalties.

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  2. Living on west coast of Fla makes me feel young, seems that everyone retired & moved here...only when I'm in a hurry does the older guy in grocery line, w/ a total of 5.03, say "Hold it , I know I grabbed those 3 pennies off the dresser this am"....or the couple who comes into our ice cream shop and proceeds to tell me how ridiculous our prices are because they used to buy a banana split for .39...or the guy in the 'official state car of Florida - the Mercury Grand Marquis) the car chugs slowly in left lane until the driver spots his exit 4 lanes over on the right and just cuts across traffic....my wife tells me if I start to exhibit that kind of behavior,"Don't worry, I'll help you out of the car....at 60 mph on 8 lane highway!" if only I could be consulted on many issues, the world would run so much more smoothly!

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    1. West coast of Florida! Greg you're practically a teenager in THAT neighborhood. I think I'll make you my "go to guy" on old guy behaviors. Where you're at is like their natural habitat. You could probably do a National Geographic special on it. Love the "official state car of Florida - the Mercury Grand Marquis", and here I was calling it an "old guy staff car".

      Banana split for .39? I think it was more than that back in OUR day (.50?) - when did they last buy ice cream, the 1940's?

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    2. or when I read the newspaper how 'car rams supermarket'..85 yr old says he was sure car was in reverse when he stepped on accelerator only to find himself burning rubber in the produce dept. 'cause the front bumper is jammed against a support column for the roof!......or when I helped the older gent out to his car one day, he said he needed to rest, so as I stood there I noticed a puddle forming around his shoes...yes that's right....but he insisted on continuing to his car, got in & drove off....as a comedian once said the passing lane in Florida should be the passing away lane!....hey I got a million of 'em!

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    3. Well, you know old buddy that you can always share them here. "Puddle around the shoes", praise the Lord I ain't there yet!

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)