Sunday, July 21, 2013

How Blogs Work

This is my blog. There are many like it, but this one is mine.My blog is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.My blog, without me, is useless. Without my blog, I am useless.*
Um, sure Sarge.

I must warn you right now that much of what I am about to relate is quite possibly fictional. I have tried to disguise the operation of your typical blog as much as possible. So as not to give away too many secrets. So, you are forewarned.

First of all, the next picture is where I write most of my posts.

"Hut 52"

Yes, this is Hut 52, which is located somewhere on the vast Chez Sarge estate. I can't give you the exact location, because you never know who is listening (or reading in this case).

The Estate
(Outlined in Red)
Mum's the word! Right?

So where do we start when attempting to describe the world-wide phenomenon that is Chant du Départ? How about we start with how we edit a post, such as the one you're reading right now?

Standard Blog Data Entry Device

Pictured above is the Blogger version of a "Blog Data Entry Device" or BDED (pronounced "Buh-dead"). The Wordpress version of the BDED is very similar. However, it's in color and costs a lot more than the one shown above. The standard Blogger BDED comes with a staff of three to operate it. The Wordpress version is cloaked in secrecy. It is unknown just how many people it takes to operate one of those. On Blogger, being free of charge, it only takes three people.

Now you may be asking yourself at this point, "So I wonder where the Sarge gets all of his ideas?" Glad you asked.

Here's the Idea Staff or Gang of Five, as I like to call them.


They look really smart don't they? The guy with glasses? Yes, he's the smartest one. Everyone knows that folks who wear glasses are extremely intelligent. I mean, "It is known" as the Dothraki would say.

I don't pay these guys, primarily because they're imaginary. So they are very low maintenance.

Here's another really smart fellow smoking a pipe:

J.R.R. Tolkien

I suppose that I should mention that he has nothing whatsoever to do with the Chant du Départ. Primarily because he passed away quite some time ago. And he was a much better writer than I. Also, I absolutely refuse to post anything in Elvish.
Uhh, "refuse" is such a harsh and final word, as you can see, that prohibition has been lifted. But that really has nothing to do with the blog. Nor does this completely gratuitous picture of the One Ring -


She has got nothing to do with the blog - 



Neither does this guy -


Nor does General George S. Patton Jr.


(I figured that if I was going to be gratuitous, I'd better cover all the bases...)

Gratuitous Phantom Pr0n
Whoa, where'd that come from?

The Framistat, which I personally don't use.


Now the next thing I want to talk about is the Spam Filter. This device is intended to keep comments from what are called Spambots from showing up in the comments. This is what the Spam Filter looks like -


What appears to be a guy turning that big wheel on the left is not actually a guy. He's actually a particularly sophisticated SpamBot. And, as you can plainly see, he has been trapped by the Spam Filter. Now if I was to check the Spam Filter and discover that this was not a SpamBot leaving behind spam. I could release him into the published comments, where he could frolic and play with the other comments.

Published Comments, Frolicking

Occasionally Buck gets caught in the Spam Filter. I can't imagine why.

MSgt Buck
My Brother-In-Arms
and
Against Whom I Fought A Blog War

Um, then again...

All that being said, what is spam?

While technically this is Spam, it's not what I'm talking about.

Prime examples of spam.

The examples above are typical of what can be dredged out of the Spam Filter. Something like the following never gets caught in the Blogger Spam Filter -


Maybe Wordpress could stop one of those suckers. You get what you pay for.

Well, that's some of the secrets behind blogging. Someday I may post more. Depends on whether or not I can figure out what this button does -

Perhaps I'll just push it and see!

Ruh-Roh!


*With Apologies to the  United States Marine Corps
and Major General William H. Rupertus.

16 comments:

  1. I thought blogging was still all shiny and new or I wouldn't have taken it up either. What a bitter bitter disappointment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I figure as long as I'm amusing myself and a few others. I'll keep blogging.

      I leave the heavy lifting to those more qualified.

      Such as yourself.

      Delete
  2. Blogging is easy.
    It's stopping that's difficult.
    One has that thought... "I shoulda said..." and a whole new post develops.

    Thanks for the duck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's been a challenge to write a post long enough so that eventually you'd see the duck.

      Of course, I could have had a post titled "Hey Skip, Look at the Duck!"

      Speaking of ideas for new posts...

      Delete
    2. It had to be a really good post, too, to hold my attention long enough for me to see the duck.

      Now that I know how to write a really good blog I think I'll continue to muck around in the fountain ...like a duck, unlike my twin cousin, the mountain goat, who is in the Swiss Alps.

      Delete
  3. I never knew. A lot o' things, including most o' which are mentioned here.

    But we digress.

    Thanks for the linky-lurve.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amazing what goes on under the hood, innit?

      [Snicker]

      Delete
  4. UH........Sarge, you feeling OK? I think it might be a good idea for you to seek medical attention, or a shrink, or have another beer, something, anything. I worry about you sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I confess, I have a goofy streak which is a mile wide. Occasionally it gets out.

      I'm all better now...

      Delete
  5. Haha! Nice post. I followed it, mostly! Love the BDED. . .

    ReplyDelete
  6. Story with pictures, lotsa pictures! Pictures keep my attention from drifting, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truth be told, I like lots of pictures. Saves me from having to write. Though I will throw actual words at you from time to time. But I'll try and keep it short and painless.

      Delete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)