Monday, February 15, 2016

Two Words

Two words, that’s all it took.

Two words brought the whole world to a screeching halt.  The words? “Found Something.”

A simple colonoscopy with all its preparatory awfulness suddenly became not so simple and not so awful.  My focus became very intense as I shifted my gaze between the Doctor who’s speaking to me and my Wife who’s still pretty much out of it, recovering from the anesthesia.

I’m pretty sure that the standard fighter pilot phrase, used when things go bad, slipped out of my mouth. (It’s the one that goes Ahh  SH**!).  My eyes blinked a few times to clear them and then I asked him for more info.  

“Well it’s not a polyp, but it is a growth and it’s bigger than I can take out with the equipment used in the colonoscopy.”  

“What’s the plan?”

“We need to involve a surgeon.”  He’s our primary care doctor, not a surgeon, so this didn’t surprise me.

The yippie factor is on a decided downward slope about now.
  


Mrs Juvat is awake now and we discuss the plan, somehow I feel a need to hold her hand.  She doesn’t seem to mind.  Released from outpatient care, we head home where that afternoon, we get a call.  It’s from the Surgeon’s office.  They’ve got an opening in the morning for a consult.  Would we like it? 

“Why, yes we would.”

The yippie factor ticks upward a bit.

The next morning (Thursday), we’re at the Dr’s office bright and early.  He’s got the photos from the colonoscopy and tells us he’s discussed the procedure with our primary care Doctor, but the area in question is pretty far in.  He thinks it would be advisable if he did another colonoscopy, so he’s got the exact location of the growth and can take a look at it himself.  

Additionally, because he IS a surgeon, he may be able to remove it at that time, saving surgery.  He does caution that this is unlikely.

But, hope does spring eternal.  The yippie factor ticks upward.


Hope


“When can we get this done?” 

“Would 0730 Monday work?”  (He actually said 7:30 AM on Monday, but this is a military-esque blog).  

“You’ll start prep on Sunday.”  

The yippie factor takes a big leap downward.


Source


0600 Monday comes around.  We check in to the Out Patient Clinic, saying hello to the ladies we saw last week. Much cooing and “you poor dear”s coming out.  I know where the coffee pot is, so go fix myself a cup and drink it out of the room, not wanting to torment my wife.

They wheel her away and an hour or so later, she’s back into recovery.  I ask the Nurse if they were able to remove the growth.  She gives me a glance and a sigh and says, “No, but they did take a tissue sample for biopsy.”  

Massive failure of the yippie factor.

The doctor comes in after my wife has recovered and is ready to be released.  He says the risk of puncturing the colon was too great and so he will have to perform a laparoscopic colectomy.

I resorted to basic Fighter Pilotese at this point. “Huh?”

“We’ll do a laparoscopy through her belly button, cut out the section with the growth and sew the pieces back together.”

“Oh”

The yippie factor is approaching absolute zero about now.

“When?”  

His nurse says “We can do it first thing next Monday.”

My wife says “OK”

The nurse says, “you can start prep on Saturday”

“Saturday?”

“This is a more serious operation, we need to be REALLY sure you’re cleaned out.”

Saturday and SuperBowl Sunday were officially “Not Fun” at the Juvat house.  


Source

Monday dawns and we’re checked in at the In-Patient clinic where I’m very quickly banished to the “Waiting Room” to watch CNN or Oprah.  Not wishing to be arrested for destruction of private property or disturbing the peace, I elect to go to my office which is about a block away and try to get some work done.  The OR nurse gets my cell number and promises to call when they begin and each hour as the operation proceeds.

Surprisingly, she does.

Finally after 3 calls, she says the wife is in recovery, I should go back to the “Waiting Room” and they’ll call when she’s in her room.

Did you know that watching CNN actually causes a temporal flux effectively stopping time?  475 years after arriving in the “Waiting Room”, I get the call that my Wife will see me now.

I walk in and she’s semi-coherent.  I make one of my standard comments, along the lines of “How are you doing?” and get an angry stare from the nurse.  Well, this is going to be fun!

She’s mostly out of it the rest of the afternoon even with the constant stream of hospital personnel checking this, administering that.  Finally the Surgeon stops by.

Two Words.  Not Cancer!

Life is good.  Thank you, Lord!

39 comments:

  1. It's like being behind enemy lines, isn't it?

    Sounds like a very good outcome. Little eye sting there at the end.

    In a strange coincidence I'm taking my Mom to Loveland, Colorado for a hip replacement in a few minutes. My fun meter is pegged in anticipation of the long hours of worry. Taking my chromebook though so I can pick my own channels to watch and maybe even work on my Business Farmer stories for the week.

    With my background I'm not entirely at a disadvantage in the hospital setting. Doesn't really help with the worry though.

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    1. Best of luck with your Mom. We'll keep you and her in our prayers.

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    2. Yes, you Mom will be in my prayers, a woman that could produce such a decent man as you is someone we want charging around for a long time yet.

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  2. A great outcome.

    Waiting around hospitals while a loved one is being operated on is way up there in the "No Fun" list. It's easier as a patient as you're out of it during that whole time. I've experienced both sides, don't wanna do either ever again.

    Prayers for swift healing for Mrs. Juvat.

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    1. Thanks

      Being in a small town does have its advantages. We see the same primary care doctor virtually every time we go in. I had taught the Surgeon's daughter, so had met him several times. Most of the Nurses I knew from when they were in High School. So, we were treated very well. The hospital has been rated as one of the top 100 hospitals in the nation multiple times, so the care was good.

      All that having been said, and to quote a great American, "don't wanna do either ever again".

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  3. Healing prayer is up, for both of you.

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  4. Two words: "Thank God."
    That is all.

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  5. Just excellent. I had the same operation a year or so back--and for the same reasons. All good. Re Peg your Yippie!

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    1. Thanks, Glad to hear you're ok also.

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  6. Quite ordeal, but excellent news and an excellent outcome!

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    1. Yeah, the past few weeks didn't rank high of either of our "best week ever" list, but the outcome was a relief.

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  7. Great News! Every time we have to go thru the colon, prostrate, etc. exams, those are the words we like to hear. Excellent post Valentines Day gift.

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  8. "don't wanna do either ever again"

    Words to live by...
    Happy for the outcome.

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  9. Yippie factor definitely near apex - that's a Very Good Report. Congratulations!

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    1. Yep, even though the at home recovery didn't go as smooth as hoped, I had that as a "could've been worse" buttress. Finally seem to have turned the corner on that also. Surgery seems to be easier to recover from when your in your 30s for some reason.

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  10. Great news Juvat. So happy for you and your wife.

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  11. Given the circumstances I can't think of two better words.

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  12. Great news Juvat. Love happy results.

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    1. I'm good with Happy Results, spent a lot of time telling myself NOT to thing about that though.

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  13. We're glad to know that things worked out OK. Laparoscopic procedures are a miracle of modern technology. The last colonoscopy I had was OK. The Doc said come back in ten years - I think not, at 78 years of age, lessee, that would be 88. No real need. Scratch that off of my bucket list.

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    1. But (no pun intended) Dave, Colonoscopies are SO much Fun! Ok, not really.

      Thanks.

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  14. Excellent news, I like the idea of intact Juvats.

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    1. Well, mostly intact, there is a piece of colon missing. But that lump of whatever it was, isn't in my wife becoming something nasty, so I'm ok with that.

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  15. Something like this puts life back into perspective. Good that it went well with a positive outcome.

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    1. Very much so. At some point, hopefully a long time from now, it won't be the same outcome and we'll have to figure out how to deal with that. My big lesson from this is I am not prepared for that at this point.

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  16. Good news indeed, juvat. "relief" is EXACTLY the word. My wife had a breast lumpectomy about 25 yrs ago and when the surgeon called to say it was benign I almost passed out with relief. And the at home recovery problems are probably due to the fact insurance companies d kick you be kicked out as soon as they think they can get away with it to save money. Your wife probably should have had a 4 or 5 day stay..

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    1. Yeah, had to have an 0300 trip to ER the morning after release. Intense back spasms and uncontrolled shivering. Didn't have a clue what was wrong. Fortunately, we were the only two non-hospital folks there, so we provided entertainment for them. Something about low potassium. Doing great now.

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  17. Good news and there has been so much bad as of late. Happy to hear the missus will mend.

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  18. May I add my late thanks that the Mrs. Herself is better? Sometimes I get behind in my blog reading, so I just now saw this post.

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    1. No worries and thanks. Yes, she's doing quite well. My problem now is trying to keep her from overdoing it. And the probability of my doing that ranks right up there with a snowball in ....

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