Thursday, May 17, 2018

The Hekawi

British officers on a toot, er, TEWT (Tactical Exercise Without Troops)
(Source)
Well, no, this is not a post about characters from the old television series, F Troop. Rather it's a post in response to the following comments which I found très amusant. (Dammit Sarge! Always making us look stuff up! Es tut mir Leid, I'll try and stop doing that. Um, no, I won't.)

As there are five of us on staff, and our styles vary, you're going to see different topics come up. Now before PLQ gets his knickers in a twist, I do intend to acknowledge Andrew's presence here up on the mast head. He has said, "that's not necessary," but where that stuff up top is concerned, I like to re-decorate from time to time. So that is going to happen.

Eventually.

But not today.

I will also tell you that Andrew's prolific posting (two guest posts and now two more posts under his own "byline") have indeed inspired LUSH to consider taking some time to actually (maybe) post something. She's not sure what yet (or when), but with three kids at home to keep an eye on, a seven year old girl, a two year old girl, and a thirty-something fighter pilot, she's rather busy making sure that her household doesn't turn into the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (cue Gordon Lightfoot).

And yes, I know that's a cheap shot. But hey, there's a meme for that -


Sorry Juvat, I couldn't resist.

Anyhoo.

Now we have four folks with callsigns, Sarge, Tuna, Juvat, and LUSH (as the other lads in my squad called me Sarge in Basic Training, much to the chagrin of the real sergeants, I consider that my callsign, though later it was also my rank, kinda sorta, but yes, I digress). My point being is that Andrew has no callsign. Frankly, I think he needs one.

I propose The Bean Whisperer, in honor of his LOOKING BEANS post, of course. Then again, because of his time in the Society for Creative Anachronism, perhaps Sir Bean might be more to the point. Depending on the quantity of beans consumed, maybe Dances with Beans, but a callsign can't be too long, so maybe just Beans. I dunno.

What say you?

Now, where the heck are we?






80 comments:

  1. Ranked choice voting.... Beans first, Sir Bean second........ heh-heh.

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  2. Beans. Short, succinct, able to be discerned amongst garbled radio transmissions, puzzling enough to require explanation with a touch of amusing embarassment.

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  3. Beanz. The alternate spelling adds a (off to the internet for a spelling and definition check) certain je ne sais quoi to the callsign.

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    Replies
    1. There is that, alternative spelling would look good on the side of a jet too. Adds to that puzzling factor Juvat mentioned.

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  4. Beans...definitely! On another note, I remember our family travelling between Darwin and Adelaide on what is known as the 'track' in Australia. a Very long and straight piece of road with nothing to look at but roos, and dirt. Maybe a petrol station every 300 miles or so. Any smart person carried four full jerry cans and four spare tires at all times....but I digress. When a bathroom stop was required for the 3 small girls a suitable bricks and mortar type facility was often not to be had......we girls would jump out of the vehicle and the hand would go up to shade our eys as we searched (in vain) for cover....it was then Dad would pipe up and tell us that we were part of the Heckawi tribe. (which I have to admit we believed for some time...before we got old enough and smart enough to figure it out)

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    Replies
    1. I've heard of the "track," wouldn't want to experience that!

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  5. We've got a different branch of the tribe down south. It's known as the Feckawi tribe. :)

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    Replies
    1. I thought that was the Irish branch...

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    2. My Dad was fond of explaining the "Watch out for falling rocks" signs that we passed during car trips.

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  6. Beans was the first to come to mind.
    Then I thought (uh, oh!) about what beans do.
    Starter works, too.
    It definitely requires a fuller explanation.

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  7. Ripper? Because it sounds all aggressive fighter-piloty, but it's really because he blogs about beans?

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    Replies
    1. Callsigns are rarely bestowed for positive actions. Typically, it involves some level of folly on the bestowee's part. And the greater the level of folly, the harder the callsign sticks. DAMHIK

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    2. Okay, you got my curiosity up and I looked up 'Juvat' and now 'Beans' sounds sooooooooooo much better. Sucks to be you, dude...

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    3. Ripper. Reminds my of a callsign from LUSH's flight school days.

      "Dictator."

      I asked her how that was possible, that was kind of a cool callsign.

      "He's a dick, and his head is shaped like Mr. Potatohead, so, Dictator, as in Dick-Tater."

      Delete
  8. So far Beans seems to be the runaway favorite.

    But I do note that prospective-Beans has yet to chime in on this.

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  9. 'Beans.' Bleh, nothing more imaginative, people.

    How about 'Swordman' or 'SCAdian' or 'Barney' (no, not the purple/green dinosaur one) or even the secret Asgardian name 'Ouch, My Eye.' (Yes, there is a shameful, horrible story there too. Call me 'Beans' or 'Beanz' and you may never hear it. I'm putting my swamp stompers down firmly on this subject.

    And I know that what I say, as Juvat, Tuna and the to-be-heard from Lush will say, has little to do with what is actually bestowed upon me. So, like a good little blogger, I'll suck it up, maybe, we'll see, you all suck, so there...

    (So, Sarge, was that good enough to qualify for a 'chiming' in?)

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    1. This is a totally futile attempt to wend all your many 'ways' to my means, and so much wailing and gnashing of teeth and pouting and stamping my feet will have absolutely no effect upon what you all are going to do.

      So I'll still be here, grumbling in the corner, no matter what you call me. Just don't call me late to dinner, or lunch or breakfast or snack time oh you've just opened a bag of chips can I have some...

      Food. My secret weakness, unless you actually see me, then you know it's no secret at all.

      Delete
    2. Could be Beanie Weanie...your call.

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    3. Well, I think that clinches it.

      (Really, Swordman? Far too cool and for all the wrong reasons. Though perhaps though dost protest too much. Hhmm, reverse psychology?)

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    4. And yes, Beans, that qualifies as chiming in...

      And no, you can't be Quasimodo either.

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    5. Although timekeeping was an imprecise art when Quasimodo was at Notre Dame he always rang the bells exactly at noon.
      When asked how he knew when it was noon he replied, "I have a hunch."

      Delete
  10. Well, I was going to suggest bean-O, but being late to the dance, ( Thursday, dontchkno. The men's coffee social here in Vernonia. ) I don't think that I qualify to make an entry.

    "As there are five of us on staff, and our styles vary, you're going to see different topics come up. Now before PLQ gets his knickers in a twist, I do intend to acknowledge Andrew's presence here up on the mast head."

    You know that as soon as I read the first sentence, I scrolled up to the mast head to check if you had added Andrew's name. Not seeing his name, my knickers were starting to twist; but, upon reading the next sentence, they gently untwisted. Anyway, it's always nice to get a hat tip, even if the other hand is sliding in the knife.

    Whatever Andrew's handle/callsign becomes, he is still our Andrew. ( Maybe using his initials, he could be called AWesome? )

    Thanks for the post.
    Paul L. Quandt

    P.S.- So after disqualifying myself from making a suggestion, I went ahead and made one. What can you say? ( No, No. This is a family-friendly blog. You can't say that. )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Classic fighter pilot behavior, disqualifying oneself and then doing it anyway.

      ;)

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    2. Does he drink the cheapest beer possible when he actually has to buy it? That also is classic fighter pilot behavior.

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    3. Well, since I never lost at the dollar bill game...I always drank the "good stuff".

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    4. My dad, the ex-fighter pilot, and one of his best friends, the ex B-58 pilot, used to challenge each other over who drank the cheapest beer. And this was in the early days of Lite Beer, so you know they drank some skank-arsed stuff. Matt's Beer (conveniently comes in a big plastic ball-mini keg thingy)(which made the beer taste like plastic, yum) or Black Label or whatever the Officers' Package Store had on sale when the cheap bastards were there.

      It was the worst case of alcohol abuse I ever saw. There were actually actual buildings that made this cheap crap. In the USA. Not brewed somewhere by communist guerillas in the jungle, no, someplace here in the land of the free, the home of the cheapskate.

      I never thought I'd taste a worse beer than "Primo" beer from Hawaii, but then I tasted plastic Matt's.

      The only reason for that carp to exist was to bring out after everyone's taste buds got killed off by the better beer.

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    5. Juvat - better lucky than good, works at the dollar bill game as well.

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    6. Plastic ball-mini keg thingy? Heaven forfend!

      Even as an alcohol-delivery-vehicle, even I wouldn't go that far. (And you know we enlisted, scum of the earth, enlisted for drink. Or words to that effect...)

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    7. The Navy has been dry for more than one hundred years, for the Air Force it's been less time.
      https://news.usni.org/2014/07/01/hundred-years-dry-u-s-navys-end-alcohol-sea

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    8. Yes. Plastic ball-mini keg thingy. Came in a waxed cardboard box so all you had to do was use the cheap-assed tap that I think came with it and add ice to the box for a ball of delicious beer goodness, if you were drunk enough.

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    9. John - the Air Force hasn't even been around for a century, though our antecedents go back a bit further.

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    10. Andrew - yeah, sounds "delish."

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  11. Re: The can't do both meme. Yes you can, just in reverse order.

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    Replies
    1. Are you sure that you have to grow up?

      Paul

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    2. Juvat - after you retire, right?

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    3. Paul - I'm betting that it's not a requirement...

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    4. Retire from the AF, yes? When I retire retire, I plan on reverting to non-grownup status.

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    5. Well, I did mean retire-retire. Ya know, when the multiple pension thingy kicks in and actually makes it somewhat possible to live without the daily grind of gainful employment.. Without having to move to another country where the ability to speak English is a novelty, not a feature.

      Delete
  12. I like "Beans", although "Falling Rock" has a certain cachet!

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    1. Andrew (waiting on final verdict of the 'Name of Shame.')May 17, 2018 at 1:30 PM

      Oh, Rock. Yeah, nothing is slightly weirder than listening to 300 heavily armored fighters shout "Rock" as some foam monstrosity comes flying over the wall with all the accuracy of an Iranian SCUD missile.

      'Slightly weirder'? Trust me, there are far more weirder things out there than that.

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    2. Thanks for that. Mrs. Andrew is now wondering why I am sitting here doing silent laughter thingy, which, of course, causes my slim, fit, build to imitate that famous line from that famous Christmas poem.

      Delete
  13. Andrew - apparently Blogger doesn't like quotation marksMay 17, 2018 at 2:21 PM

    Okay. Can't wait for the great revealing. What are you going to use as my 'picture'? The only thing I ever consistently piloted was a desk.

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    Replies
    1. Andrew - apparently Blogger hates most punctuation marks so there you cheap buggersMay 17, 2018 at 2:23 PM

      Okay, that was weird the second time around.

      Delete
    2. The picture? Why that would be giving it away! (Meaning = I don't know yet.)

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    3. Weird, but kinda cool. All at the same time.

      Delete
  14. "Andrew WetzelMay 17, 2018 at 11:53 AM

    Uhhh.... Uncle?"

    Does this mean that Andrew wants " Uncle " to be his call sign? The Man From Uncle is right out, having already been used ( by a tv series, no less ).

    PLQ

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    Replies
    1. If he wants it, he can't have it. Those are the rules precious, I mean, Paul.

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    2. From what I've heard, the only skin in the game that the recipient has in the name game is the skin left behind after whatever fiasco earns said recipient his name.

      Kinda like how at least half the male children in my generation all thought at one time we were named after our Lord Savior and only called by one of our middle names.

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    3. Andrew (waiting on final verdict of the 'Name of Shame.')May 17, 2018 at 6:22 PM

      Heh. Precious LQ. Sounds like a Rapper name.

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    4. Andrew - yup, I thought for a while that I, or perhaps one of my brothers, shared a name with the Savior.

      Delete
  15. Anybody remember "The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean", the movie? How about "Beano"? It has the obvious flatulent connotation, which was always popular when I was serving; flatulent, scatological, and/or sexual were the favorite themes. I had a shipmate known to one and all as "Burpo the Clown". Don't ask.
    Oh, and in the picture at the top of the post, I'm sure the officer on the left is a fine chap, but someone should notify him that he's grown his moustache upside down.
    --Tennessee Budd

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    Replies
    1. Well, they are British dontcha know?

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    2. Andrew (waiting on final verdict of the 'Name of Shame.')May 17, 2018 at 6:25 PM

      'Beano'? That one strikes too close to home. I've been known to cropdust sticky oily chemical warfare level emissions that follow me around like evil, smelly ghosts. Seriously. I have tried to run from them before, and been unsuccessful.

      (Have I reached the TMI limit yet? If not, I can keep shooting for that limit...)

      Delete
  16. The results of the Callsign Review Board will be published Friday, the 18th of May in honor of four hundred pound gorilla Bokito escaping from its holding area at the Rotterdam Zoo in the Netherlands back in 2007.

    No, that wasn't me, and yes, those tranquilizer darts hurt.

    (Was Bokito pissed because they never talk about the "400 pound gorilla in the room"? Asking for a friend...)

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  17. Better to be called Beans than Cornbread, which was the other food item Andrew wrote about...

    Just saying :)

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    Replies
    1. The thought had crossed my mind...

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    2. Cornbread? I ain't no dirt farmer hillbilly hick from that yonder holler, I reckon. Hillfolk, they's ma wife's kin...

      Beans is much better than many nicknames I've had in my lifetime.

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    3. Same here.

      (Still kinda like cornbread, the callsign that is. Kinda partial to the food as well.)

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  18. Andrew (waiting on final verdict of the 'Name of Shame.')May 17, 2018 at 6:08 PM

    One more appeal to your (lack of) common sense. POGs and REMFs don't get team names, right?

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    Replies
    1. Well, actually yes, yes they do.

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    2. Stop whimperin’ boy! You get no input. The more ya struggle the tighter it fits.

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    3. I think all we’re waitin on is Brother Tuna’s vote. I’m expecting LUSH’s vote will be communicated via secure back channels.

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    4. Oh, right now would be a great time for LUSH to fire a SCUD my way. After all, it's only the last vestiges of my dignity we're talking about...

      Delete
  19. "...last vestiges of my dignity we're talking about..."

    Gee, I didn't think you had any left after the previous comments.

    Precious

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    Replies
    1. Sorry, that was over the top and unnecessary.

      Paul

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    2. No, Paul, my Dignity left the building a while ago. In fact, it was running away, on fire, wearing underoos that didn't match.

      Well, actually, my dignity is strong enough for me to look calm and composed while fleeing a fire wearing underoos that don't match. Stiff upper lip. All my cats have taught me how to be completely dignified looking after slipping on a wet floor while wearing high heels and a beard, mostly naked.

      Trust me. There is a hard limit that I don't think anyone here can reach. Anything else is just good, clean fun. (The movie "Animal House" is, well, somewhat tame, in comparison to some of the things in my life...)

      No harm, no foul.

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    3. Thanks, but it was at least unnecessary.

      PLQ

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    4. Dignity? I need to look that up, what little I had was lost long ago.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)