Tuesday, April 9, 2019

It's Not You...

L to R: Your Humble Scribe, The WSO, and ORPO
Aboard USS Ronald Reagan (CVN-76)
Five long years ago...
Nah, it ain't you, it's me.

Posting may be limited this week, because as hard as I wished for it, my taxes did not do themselves over the weekend.

Yes, I do them myself. Why? Because I can and you can't beat the price.

Why so late? Rather than give Uncle Sam and Aunt Rhody an interest-free loan, I keep that little extra bit for various and sundries throughout the year. I mean, bottom line, it is my money, regardless of what the congresscritters think.

So it's time to marshal the paperwork, fill in the blanks and (probably) write a check. Yes, I could wait until the weekend, but I do believe there is a list of chores for that time period with my name on it.

Sigh...

So talk quietly among yourselves.

I may or may not be here tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, etc.

Then again, every time I write that, I find something to post.

Stay tuned.



56 comments:

  1. Agreed Sarge, that's why after breakfast I'm cranking out the taxes to completion. Of course getting them done today BEFORE the forecast snow storm on Thursday is preferable. Still have easy access to the snow shovels........ :(

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    Replies
    1. Snow?!?!

      Oh wait, that's right, you're further north then some parts of Canada.

      Delete
    2. C'mon Down! Forecast high is 86 today, 90 tomorrow. Given my survey of license plates on my drive into town yesterday, I'd say a significant portion of your state's populace is already down here. You won't be lonely.

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    3. 86, 90?!?!

      Oh yeah, that's right, you live on the surface of the sun, juvat. ;)

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    4. Wait, you said Florida was the surface of the sun. We're just Mercury!

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    5. Florida is the surface of the sun, in late summer, when there's zero wind and 100% humidity. You know it's humid and hot when the water droplets floating in the air are sweating.

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    6. Juvat - I sit corrected. You are on Mercury, sunny side.

      Delete
    7. Beans - Hhmm, in Bahrain you can go swimming in the Gulf and actually sweat underwater, so I've been told by a reliable source. So perhaps Texas is the dark side of Mercury, Florida is the sunny side, and the Persian Gulf is actually the surface of the sun.

      All I know is that it's too hot for me.

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    8. I rather like the balmy afternoons in the shade with some decent rum (Bacardi 8 year old. No comment VX), and the company of great friends, celebrating the start up of school, so they're off the beaches and back home where they belong.

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    9. Captain Morgan Spiced, with a couple of rocks. Nice sippin' evening finisher.

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    10. Fuzz - Okay, sign me up. Back in the day we had kin in Fort Walton Beach (assigned to Hurlburt) and on the occasions we would visit, sitting on the beach with adult beverages was de rigueur. With enough alcohol on board, one doesn't notice the heat and humidity all that much. (Come to think of it, I've had similar experiences in Louisiana, Okinawa, and the Philippines, minus the beaches) so I could probably handle things.

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    11. juvat - Y'all a classy guy for a fighter pilot.

      ;)

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    12. Dad's tipple on a hot day was Bacardi (mixed 1/2 gold w 1/2 white) and Coca-cola with slice of lime.

      Delete
  2. I am told that my middle name is procrastination, however, this year, I was very good and did the taxes 2 weekends ago, because I was afraid we would have to pay. And was pleasantly surprised! So will keep my fingers crossed for you!!

    And, yes, I do them myself. I save receipts all year long in a Tax folder, so all the stuff I need is in one place, so then all I need to do is sort and follow the directions on the tax software. Definitely cheaper that way!!

    Think I won the first comment today?

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    Replies
    1. I do it the old fashion way, just fill in the blanks. Forms were a lot easier this year, Fed taxes are done (I O I O), next up Little Rhody.

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    2. So close, Nylon12 was up early today. (As are you I might add.)

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    3. Well, when you retire there are certain states that do not charge income tax...

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    4. Florida is also the surface of the sun, with humidity. (NH has no state income tax, but they beat you up in other ways.)

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    5. Plus... Becoming a New Hamster? Nah... And they are cold during winter. White drifting clingy stuff cold. Hard rain. Hard rain bad.

      I can live (barely) without power during a hurricane. Do not want to become Otz the Iceman if power goes out during blizzard, snowstorm, slushstorm, hailstorm, rapid advance of glacierization...

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    6. I get that, which is why I live in Little Rhody. Not as cold as further north, only the occasional blizzard, only the very rare power loss. Which is unlike Louisiana, when I visited there if it was raining at all, we'd lose power. Of course, that was England AFB, perhaps the rest of Rapides Parish wasn't as bad?

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    7. Survey says.... NOOOOOPE. Knowing rural Louisiana the AFB had better power.

      Delete
  3. I am from the same tribe as you. I shoot for zero in and zero out. My wife likes a bump at tax season, but it means I didn't do my job correctly. Rest easy as you figure your taxes. I won't bring any skunks in the comment section!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was so looking forward to the skunks.

      We need to blog more about ranches and malfunctioning crappers on U-Boats, apparently (based on page hits and comments) a very popular subject.

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  4. I propose--

    1) Eliminate employer withholding. Make everyone write a check every two weeks.

    2) If you are due a refund, file early. If you owe, file for an extension. Let 'em suck air for 90 days.

    2) Move voting day to April 16.

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    Replies
    1. I really like the last one. If we did that, I'm pretty sure everything else would fall into place!

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  5. Speaking of skunks.
    I set up a trail camera to find out what had taken up residence under our shed and I set it for video and stills.
    Week One report.
    Groundhog in and out of the hole during daylight.
    Skunk in and out of the hole during the night.
    Fox checking out the hole at night.
    Possum checking the hole at night.
    Cat following the possum. (actual cat, not black and white striped cat!)
    Only lacking photos and film of the raccoons.
    Thinking about importing gator from Florida to take care of varmints the Green Earth way.
    What could possibly go wrong!
    Beans might have some input on that theory.

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    Replies
    1. The hole under your shed is obviously an illicit animal crack house. The cat is the undercover cop.

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    2. Gator won't like it due to mostly dry conditions. But we do have some pythons we'll gladly give you.

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    3. Yes, I saw an article about your pythons earlier today. That thing would stretch from Jacksonville to Pensacola!

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    4. Back it in the late 90's there was a semi-urban legend of a semi striking a big python and wrecking. Turns out it was actually a subcompact but...

      Don't understand the fascination of exotic 'pets.' "Here's my pet funnel-weave spider, Sheila...." Um, nope.

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    5. Exotic pets, bad idea for the human AND the pet!

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    6. You can probably buy a baby gator (or find one near the river) at one of those "tee-shirt stores" that are always going out of business here in Daytona Beach.
      Probably illegal though. Your tax dollars at work, thwarting the green movement, which is so important.

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    7. I can see the headlines now, "Giant alligator spotted in Delaware River! Local man suspected. Film at eleven."

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    8. Don't laugh!! We had an alligator in Lake Michigan last year. Thing was about 4 foot long, with it's snout taped shut!! So it couldn't eat any fish...how mean can folks be!! They showed it on the news! DNR said don't do this!! They figured someone threw it away as it was getting too big.

      Anyway, there are urban legends of piranha swimming around the outlets of the Muskegon Cob plant (nuclear reactor plant) that was recently closed, so the water isn't as warm there as it used to be. Folks figured the fish would die over the winter.

      Winter is the good thing about the North...keeps the bugs, gaters, and riff-raff away!
      Doesn't mean I want any MORE winter til, oh, say, NEXT November/December...instead we are supposed to get hard rain accumulating 1-2 inches around here on Thursday.

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    9. An alligator in Lake Michigan! Dang!

      I see a Made For TV movie in that, what, that's been done? Never mind.

      Yes, winter helps keep the tropical monsters at bay but it does tend to get wearisome round about March, or February...

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    10. Wife said no gators. I attempted appeal to fashion sense, and mentioned that when varmints are gone, gator BBQ and gator skin accessories would be possible.
      Answer is still no.

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    11. Hey brother, at least you tried!

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    12. Think that movie was Lake Placid. It was funny, and it was a LARGE HUGE gator.

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    13. Aw, have a gator. Fried, fricaseed, ground into patty meat, chunked and browned and in an etouffe...

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    14. Beans - Tastes like chicken?

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    15. From my experience, it is weird! I like harissa, gochujan, za'atar, and tabasco. None of these were able to chase that gator flavor my way.

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    16. Good to know!

      "Gator?"

      "Uh, no thanks."

      Delete
  6. Good luck with the taxes. I’m of the same mind: as close to zero as possible. Five little deductions still at home mean I still file early, for now though.

    Totally unrelated, but Sarge, when you get the chance, would you mind updating the link to my blog? I haven’t stopped writing, but I decided to get off of Google’s platform and pay a few bucks for my own domain/hosting. The blog now lives at https://sticks-stories-scotch.com

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  7. Being mostly retired mine are simpler now. In times past always filed for an extension. Taxes = scofflaw. Seldom found a loophole I didn't like.

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    Replies
    1. No? You?

      Yup, that was my surprised face. ;)

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  8. Mine have been done for three weeks.
    All of the payments are arranged for.
    Why, you ask?
    Because, Maui for a week.
    Unfortunately that ends today.

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    Replies
    1. Wow-ee. Maui.

      Because someone had to say it...

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  9. Our state taxes weren't too bad and are filed and payed. The Fed, we are on the payment plan and may have them paid off by the time to file next year.

    As much as we grouse, at least we live in this country and not some ( any ) of the other countries of this world.

    Thanks for the post.
    Paul L. Quandt

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    Replies
    1. Of the 195 countries on the planet, there are 194 with worse governments than the United States. Some a lot worse.

      I'll pay my taxes and smile, knowing that there are worse fates.

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  10. I bought and downloaded the software at Amazon yesterday and may look at it over the week-end. Extensions are fun, just remember to send in a little to keep them at bay. I have never really been a fan of government in the D.C. area ever since Johnson and MacNamara.

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    Replies
    1. Understood. LBJ and Bobby Strange, both terrible.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)