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Praetorium Honoris

Thursday, September 28, 2017

TIFPA IV

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I find it somewhat surprising that I haven't had another post in my series (drum roll please) Things I Find Particularly Annoying, or TIFPA (pronounced just as it's spelled). As you might guess, if'n you know your Roman numerals, this is the fourth installment of this ground breaking...

Actually, it's just me whining about stuff. First installment is here, the second here, and the third here. Just in case you wanted some background whining, er, I mean, material. Y a know, put my whining in context. So to speak.

Anyhoo, here we go, Part IV of Things I Find Particularly Annoying. Oh, and for what it's worth, these things always seem to occur on Thursdays. The posts that is, the things I find particularly annoying occur on any day of the week. Just thought I'd mention that.


Cell phones are a wondrous invention which provide a) the ability to communicate with anyone in the world, b) the ability to instantly look stuff up on the Internet, and c) the ability to annoy the piss out of everyone around you who isn't on a cell phone.

People driving down the road, cell phone pasted to one ear, one hand waving in the air to illustrate some point (hhmm, unless it's a video call, the other person can't see the hand), one hand on the wheel, sort of, and the operator's gaze on the road, but not really focused, ya know.

There's a reason why many states have mandated a hands free rule for cell phones. On most military bases cell phone usage while behind the wheel is streng verboten. There are reasons, like running into stuff while talking on the cell phone.

There are people walking around everywhere on their phones, what the heck are they talking about? It vexes me.

Guys at work (it's always men, women have more sense in these matters) with the little ear bud are walking back and forth in the hallways having "important" conversations with other business wienies. And they are totally oblivious to their surroundings, they're a hazard to freaking navigation I tell you!

I am seldom on my phone, normally only to answer a call from The Missus Herself or one of the progeny. I call my Mom, not enough, it's a guy thing, again women have more sense in those matters, and I will occasionally order pizza using my phone.

Those maroons in the hallways at work drive me nuts.

Back in my smoking days (almost five years now, smoke free) a number of us would gather in the courtyard at work for a smoke. This one troll would wander out at least once a week, talking on his cell phone and barge right into our group.

After a moment or two, while we kept talking, he paused in his inane conversation and said, "Do you guys mind? I'm on the phone."

Grrrrrrrrr....

No, he didn't die, but it was close. If looks could kill they'd still be scraping him off the sidewalk.

I will occasionally see the following scene in my head whenever a wandering cell phone minstrel impedes my progress...



Yeah, I'm the samurai, the guys in suits are the cell phone dorks.

Note: when you are a samurai, that's the only time "man buns" are cool. And technically, it's a top knot, not a man bun.

Wakarimasu ka?



36 comments:

  1. At least you no longer hear the idiots saying, "Guess where i'm calling from...NO, THE TRAIN, yeah, i'm on a cell phone, i've got nothing else to do so I called you...YES, the TRAIN, how cool is that...blah blah blah..."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember those days, thank God for small favors!

      Delete
  2. As I read and comment on your blog, from my phone, while at work. Sshhh, don't tell anyone.

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    Replies
    1. There's nothing wrong with using the phone, it's the lack of attention to public safety and courtesy that's the problem.

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    2. Man, the bumping and screaming from under my tires is really distracting me from typing this. Should I see my mechanic?

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    3. Sheet metal specialist and someplace to clean the gore off should do the trick.

      Might want to check the headlights, running into stuff can cause cracks.

      ;)

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  3. I worked with another black powder enthusiast back in the 80's. I was an electrician, he was a really good finish carpenter (think trim and cabinets, not Finland). When we ended the day, "you watch your topknot!" "You watch your'n!" Folks would look at us like we were speaking a foreign language. Fun times....

    Watch your topknot!

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  4. There is a lesson in that clip, you can cure smoker's cough in a heartbeat.

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  5. You stuck in a meeting. The person who called the meeting takes a cell phone call.

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    Replies
    1. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

      I know exactly what you mean.

      Delete
    2. I have been known to get up and walk out at that point if it's not Family or their boss.

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    3. Excellent maneuver!

      I've been known to do that.

      Delete
  6. I have my immediate family and two close friends in my phone contacts. Maybe I send or receive one text a week, usually me from the grocery store with a question like "chocolate or vanilla?". I read a few blogs over my morning coffee and maybe post a comment or two. Beyond that, I refuse to spend any more of my life staring at electrons. As they say on another blog somewhere, "Meat space, baby!". Or, with apologies to Joe Walsh, "Just leave a message, maybe I'll call. Life's been good to me so far.".

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    Replies
    1. About the same here.

      Then again, I get paid to stare at electrons. But not on the cell.

      Delete
  7. Those people in meetings, church, a theater, concert who are the exception to the please silence your phone request.
    Then there's the fools who think hands free means they can put the phone on speaker and hold it up in front of their face.

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    Replies
    1. Ah yes, "brains free" operation is what I call that.

      Delete
  8. Ah, cell phone zombies. It only gets worse every year. First there was, as reported above, the "Can you hear me now" people. Then the crazies with their bluetooths looking like crazy people wandering around talking to themselves (including hand and body gestures.) Now it is the people who supplicate themselves to the flat screens in front of their face.

    I only have a cell phone to keep in touch with Mrs. Andrew and a few other people, like doctors, and for road emergencies. That's it. I hate talking on the phone.

    Oh, by the way, did you see where the US Navy is going back to using compasses, binoculars and pencils for plotting ship traffic? Seems the Nintendo/cell phone generation had to learn the hard way to keep their eyes up and watch for things that go bump in the night (or day.) Yikes. Next thing will be using sextants for navigation (well, they actually should be using them already.)

    As to TIFPAs, well, you pointed one out. Smokers who accumulate right outside the damned door of a building. Especially, as being lifelong support staff, they drag that stench into the support staff area. Blah. Back when MIL was still alive, the rule for transporting her was she could not smoke within 10 feet of the vehicle, and had to take three deep, cleansing breaths before breaking the 10' barrier. Same with all other smokers who are friends (yes, we had one 'friend' who used to hold his breath and then exhale right into our faces when he got in our car. We unfriended him, me quickly, wife, slowly, due to ass-hat actions like this.)

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    Replies
    1. I did not realize how bad we smokers smelled until I became an ex-smoker. Two weeks of The Missus Herself chanting, "I told you! Didn't I tell you?" cemented that knowledge. I cannot abide the smell. Odd but now I understand my father ranting when he'd come to visit. He was an ex-smoker and he too couldn't abide the smell. Live and learn. There's hope for me yet.

      As to the Navy going back to paper charts, it's a travesty that they ever quit. Regarding the sextant - my son learned how to use a sextant in NROTC. His sisters did not. I have heard that they have resumed teaching how to use a sextant in NROTC. At least at Holy Cross.

      Electronics are great, until you really, really, really need them. Then they crap out, reboot, or head south for the winter. DAMHIK.

      Delete
    2. "Electronics are great, until you really, really, really need them. Then they crap out, reboot, or head south for the winter."

      I have been saying much the same thing for years. In my case, I understand that field artillery never did stop teaching " charts and darts " shooting. Good on them. Paper abides. It doesn't suffer a head cold after an EMP.

      Paul L. Quandt

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    3. Back in the stone age when I learned to fly, my instructor made me master a chart, EB-6 flight calculator, compass, and needle/ball/airspeed before he let me use a VOR and artificial horizon. In a good mood, I could use the directional gyro if the plane had one. Later on, there were a few occasions when his methods proved to be wise.

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    4. PLQ - One thing that electronics aren't very good at handling is shock. Perhaps that's why the red legs stuck to the tried and true methods.

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    5. WSF - You had a wise flight instructor.

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    6. Modern Red Legs have all sorts of ballistic computers and stuff that they use, but there is always the old tables and plotting charts readily at hand, though I am sure that those skills are becoming lost in the new information age.

      My dad, while waiting for the Air Force to call him up during and after college, was a member of an 8" howitzer unit in the Louisiana National Guard. His most favorite moment was when some of the female calculators who worked on the gun tables during WWII showed up to help explain how the calculations were made. A typical problem would be something like, "4 bags will get the round to the location at a relatively flat trajectory, but there's a hill in the way (Oh, yeah, I see it now.) and so we'll use 3 bags and increase the angle. That's why they call it indirect fire."

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  9. Hai! Wakarimas. They irritate everyone. The urge to constantly look at their phones is so powerful that even their own safety in a 1 ton vehicle going 70MPH, and that of other drivers, is ignored. We need loudspeakers on our cars, or cell phone jammers.

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  10. OT...go see American Assassin !! within 10min. i knew why it had a great word on the street but a poor RT rating...it is NOT PC..Arab terrorists executing white Americans... Iranians looking for nuclear materials...bad mouthing the Nuclear Deal with the Obama Admin...Michael Keaton spot on .... good action film.....that is all

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    Replies
    1. I saw it on the first day, but forgot to mention it. I liked it, but it's too bad they didn't do it as flashbacks to his training like in the book. I thought Nuking the Fleet in the Med was a bit much though.

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    2. mark - it's on my list, thanks for the tip. Vince Flynn is a favorite, hopefully the film does Mitch Rapp justice.

      Delete
    3. Tuna - that "nuking the fleet" bit might be hard to stomach.

      Delete

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