Monday, June 13, 2022

Tempus fugit

 Back in mid-May I had posted about a fabulous gift we'd received from Little Juvat and his wife.  It's a computerized picture frame that displays photos added by anyone you authorize to upload.  Right now, that's limited to immediate family.  That having been said, there are, at the time of this being written (Sunday), 120 pictures in the system and more added virtually daily. Some of them I had no idea existed.

This would be a picture of Mrs. J's Mom and Dad on a pre-marriage date in England in the early '50's

The frame sits on our kitchen counter, which has a dining area in the front.  It's right between Mrs. J's place and mine. We not only work there, but eat meals there as well.  It provides a lot of entertainment and education.   We love it and highly recommend it for us folks getting up in years, memory fading a bit maybe or just remembering the "Good Old Days."

So, enough advertising (more if they started paying me! ;-) ) on with the post.

There I was...* in College Station last week.  Mrs. J and I are going out to dinner with MBD, SIL, and MG ostensibly to celebrate some old guy's birthday.  SIL is driving as I have no idea where we're going and, besides, MG's car seat is installed in their car, not mine. So, the Pilot is relegated to passenger status.  No, that does NOT come easily to me.

Now a little background.  SIL is rapidly completing the course requirement for a Doctor of Divinity degree and has just been hired by a local Church as its youth activities Pastor (YAY! Hired is good!).  We're driving along and the ladies are in the back chatting about who knows what.  Initiating a conversation, he turns and asks me who I thought had the biggest impact on my life and why.  

Immediately, Mom and Dad came to mind, because...well...No them, No me. 

Then the branches and sequels (it's a programming thing) started appearing.  What about the picture above.  Had that not happened...No Mrs J,  No Mrs. J, No Little Juvat or MBD.  No MBD, No MG.  No Little Juvat, No Soon to be Second Grand Daughter.

So Our Parents were definitely on the list.

Then I went forward to my School years.  I remember one of my professors at Texas Tech in my junior and senior years.  He had started a program teaching about Management Information Systems.  I had taken a few computer courses in the Freshman/Sophomore years and enjoyed them.  This seemed a natural extension of that.  So, I went to see him and find out more.  Great Guy!  Left his office as one of the first students in his program.  Fast forward to just before Graduation day, he asks me what I'm going to do with the 9 months I had between Commissioning and Pilot Training.  I explained I was going to work at the airport fueling airplanes and such.  He talked me into getting a Masters in MIS.  I thought he was nuts, but he explained that if I did, I'd be still in the habit of efficiently studying while the others in my class were out chasing girls or whatever.  I was dubious, but he was right.  I graduated near the top of the Pilot Training class, got a fighter, went to Korea, then to Georgia where I met and married Mrs. J.

No Dr. Dale Flowers, most likely No Mrs. J. No Mrs. J, No Little Juvat or MBD.  No MBD, No MG.  No Little Juvat, No Soon to be Second Grand Daughter....

The last person I told him about went by the callsign "Vegas".   I've published posts about him Here and Here.  Please go read them. They were among the first posts I wrote here, but also had the most impact on my life at the time. In summary, his demonstrating actual Leadership had a very crucial impact in my life.  I told my SIL the stories and explained that impact they'd all had.  

SIL then said something that just about knocked me to the floor.

"Have you told any of them Thanks?"

I probably had said "Thanks" to them all many times, but I'd never sat down with them and explained exactly what their involvement in my life had been and how grateful I was for it.

So, I resolved to rectify that as best I could.  All the parents are with the Lord.  If I had it to do again, I'd have done a better job, but they saw the results of their efforts and were satisfied, I believe.  

As soon as I got home, I started Googling, Dr. Flowers and Vegas.

Dr. Flowers is a Professor Emeritus at Case Western Reserve in Ohio.  I wrote him a long letter saying thank you.


Nice guy, hope he responds, but Mission Accomplished.

Spent a long time trying to find, Colonel James D. Cox AKA "Vegas" but finally did.

First (of three) tour in Vietnam. Second was in F-111's, third in F-4s. Source

The site I found him on told me a lot I didn't know about him.  3 flying tours in Vietnam, a Distinguished Flying Cross for Heroism, but nothing I saw there surprised me.   Unfortunately...The site is FindaGrave.  He passed away in 2017. Rest in Peace, Vegas!

Tempus fugit

The ability to travel back in time would be nice right about now.


30 comments:

  1. Yah....isn't it something how another person can say a few words and the result in what you're thinking can be like the sun bursting through a break in the clouds? A person is fortunate if there were several VIPs impacting their life.........time does indeed fly juvat.

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    1. Nylon,
      It is indeed and I have been blessed with quite a few of those people. And, Mea Culpa, as I was reading the post this morning. I realized I left THE most important one out. That would be Mrs. J. Without her, well, let's just say life would suck.

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  2. Good heavens, Juvat. The humidity seems to have climbed in the room a bit.

    I have a similar sort of list. My parents, of course. My high school geometry and trig teacher and my band instructor (really, of all my teachers/professors in high school and college, they were the most impactful). The Ravishing Mrs. TB. Almost all my managers have been good ones to emulate, but there was one - G- that probably changed my whole practice and leadership style without really saying anything.

    It is never a wrong thing to thank people for the impact they have had on your life. As you say, before it is too late.

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    1. As I've gotten older I also think about the inflection points in life - they can be both influential people and choices you make that turn out to be consequential. Influential people include parents, friends, teachers, co-workers (including but not limited to bosses) are all possibilities. The consequential choices are sometimes the result of direct input and advice from the people, but they can also be the result of your own decision making based on many inputs from different sources.. like choosing to take a particular job in another town and meeting your future wife while living there. The intersecting threads of many lives and how life might be different had you not made that one choice at that particular time.
      Sounds like your SIL is plumbing those theological depths in fine fashion. I probably could have done and still could do a better job of thanking influential people - thank you for the reminder!

      Delete
    2. THBB,
      Thanks, yep, Demonstration of Good Leadership is by far the best way to Teach good Leadership. Demonstrating LOUSY leadership is the next best way. The latter seems to be being employed a lot lately. Apropos of nothing whatsoever...RIIIIGHHHTTT!

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    3. Tom,
      I like those terms, Inflection Points and Consequential Choices. The Inflection Point was getting an assignment to Georgia and meeting her. The Consequential Choice(s) was asking her to marry me and her acceptance. Thanks for the clarification.

      Delete
  3. Juvat, just caught the post from yesterday (Sunday). Hope "our" ENT gets your sinus issues cleared up and you can slide into a visiting him only for a check-up phase of treatment.
    Read the list of eating places you frequent and I'd like to note my favorite. I'll give a disclaimer at the beginning....I'm a 5th generation Texan....and I love BBQ..., so we frequent Backwoods BBQ just slightly outside of the 'burg. Been a frequent eater since their Grand Opening.
    Like you, I'm thankful for those who have assisted me throughout my formative years and work history. Been blessed with the health, which allowed me to travel the world, visit places most people aren't able, and meet native people who were patient enough to become friends, educate me on their customs, and history.
    Definitely don't want to forget Delta Airlines, which afforded me the opportunity to meet Mrs. Cletus, mid-Atlantic.
    Cletus

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    1. Cletus,
      Backwoods BBQ is the ONLY BBQ place I eat at in the 'Burg. Partly because the road it's on is my way into town so I'm constantly reminded. Mostly because the Q is flippin' outstanding.
      Re: Sinus. As they say "Every Day, in every Way, I'm getting better and better." I expect when I go visit the ENT a week from Thursday, I'll be pretty much 100%. Hopefully, he'll give me Papal Dispensation to blow my nose...carefully. ;-)

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  4. There are many along the way who've assisted me whether I wanted it or not and who have kicked my butt when I was a bit too stubborn to listen to reason. Far too many to name but I'd probably be living in some crummy apartment in small town nowhere if it wasn't for The Missus Herself. She has assisted when needed and kicked my butt when needed (no doubt far too often for her tastes) along the way to being reasonably successful. And somewhat respectable ...

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    1. Sarge,
      Mrs. J definitely plays a similar role in mine. I think that's part of the formula for "Happy Marriage".

      Don't forget the suntan lotion. Sunburns are uncomfortable.

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    2. Ah...The Boy Scout is still within you! :-)

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  5. That ability to go back in time…
    It would work well for reversing some of our mistakes, too.
    I’d really like that.

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    1. Skip,
      It's a nice thought, but as Tom talked about above, one must be cautious at the inflection point about the Consequential Choices. Could be worse, could be better.
      Makes my head spin thinking about.

      Delete
  6. I need to get one of those photo frame things for myself. Not for any fading memory concerns, but because otherwise I have a million pictures on my computer that will never see the light of day. We don't get photos from the photo mat, or Walmart anymore, so there's nothing really to flip through from an old box of memories these days.

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    1. Tuna, We're really happy with it and the app that comes with it for your device(s) has a gallery view, so you can look at what you have and select that for display. The display changes about every 15 seconds, but I think you can change that as required. 15 works well for us. You can also caption each photo, either some pithy statement or Who, what, when and where. Really cool gadget

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    2. I couldn't agree more heartily! My daughter gave us one of the devices last Christmas time. It comes on a 1400 and off at 2200, shuffles the hundreds of pics - real fun for the price. Everyone seems to have plenty of pics in their phones (our kids, I mean). We love it when they share something. An app called "photomyne" works WONDERFULLY WELL to digitize pics and slides almost as fast as you can arrange them on a flat surface. I did a lot of the slides from college (fifties), PT, Itazuke and you know, that place in the east, where we tried to change magnetic North (sixties), family from then on.

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    3. Thanks for the info about photomyne. We've got a boatload of pictures also.

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  7. That photo thingy is very neat!! I shall be looking into one for my folks...after all Dad's Day is coming up quickly.

    so far as thanking folks who had a huge impact on our life, but are no longer walking around this vale of tears...I firmly believe they are still watching over us from Heaven. After all, when you are about to do something, and you think "if so-n-so knew what I just did, boy would I get my butt kicked", or if they just pop into your mind as you are going about your day...who's to say they aren't up there looking down, still helping to steer things in your life. Maybe this is where the idea for guardian angels comes from. If they are no longer "above the dirt", I don't think you need to worry about thanking them--they already know the impact they had on you.Furthermore, as long as you still remember and keep their memory green--they are never really gone, they are just "away".

    And if they are still around--everyone likes to get mail, especially nice mail, which usually comes on a day when the recipient could really use the pick-me-up.

    My $0.02. Worth what ya pay for it.

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  8. By the way..went looking for your earlier post where you talked about your cool picture frame and can't find it...would it be possible to put up a link?
    Thanks!!

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  9. Funnily, I remember High School teachers much more clearly than anyone from College. IP's I remember (yikes!), and some studs. Some got stars, some got graves. The whole gamut.
    I kept in touch with my mentor (in Paleobotany, yes!) for years. I finally received a copy of the St. Louis daily paper. I wondered why. It contained his obituary. Sent out to his many fans. Life is good, it helps to think about it.

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    1. Fuzz,
      That's interesting, as I remember more of my HS Teacher's than College ones also. As well as a few of my IP's Dave Pelzell, we referred to him as Lt Pelzell, or Sir, to his face. Called him Ironman behind his back. On early rides in the Tweet, his technique was to have you close your eyes, lean forward and look to the side. At which point, he'd snatch the stick full back to see if he could black you out. At a minimum you'd be completely disoriented. He then let go of the stick and tell you to "Recover". He was especially thrilled when one of the guys threw up in his lap. Even the flight commander laughed. Good times.

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  10. Yep, HS teachers and coaches. And folks we served with. And of course our parents/grandparents. THEY started the 'shaping' of who we have become, and last but not least, the church of our choice.

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    1. Old NFO,
      Yeah, I did underestimate the last one. It's been so ubiquitous, that it gets overlooked

      Delete
  11. I set out long years ago to tell folks that. Someone said why wait to give flowers until someone is dead. Do it when they can appreciate them. Mrs. Pierce was 5th grade. She passed a couple months before I found her. Mr.Drake got a call. He had just had lasik at 85 or so. Had a great laugh and scratch. Mitch and I keep in touch. He's in his 90's but he was PIVOTAL. And he knows it. Dr. Sanders is one I haven't been able to find.... Doc, you helped me to no end. Thank you.

    You got a good SIL. Better keep him. Great poast Juvat. Not sure how I missed it on Monday. Weird week again....

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    1. Thanks, STxAR, Glad things worked out for you that you got to say thanks in person.

      Sorry, I'm late with responding. My only excuse was "Lot's of moving parts." I will endeavor to do better.

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