The Sorrow of Love (Source) |
Tuesday was an emotional day, Anya's ashes came home, which completely took the wind out of my sails.
A horrible dream on Monday night, "they" had lost her ashes and I feared she would not find us. A primitive fear, but very real to me. Sleep was fleeting and disturbed. Much like the night before her final trip to the vet.
Before lunch, something told me to make a phone call, so I did, to our vet. When they answered they said, "Ah, we left you a message to call us, Anya is here."
Yes, I know, she wasn't there, but what remains was. Important to us as we mean to have our cats with us when we travel to the other side. Not having her ashes would have left me bereft.
I was in the main lobby of our building at work. I thanked the lady, she sounded sad, no doubt she's made that call many times. I stood there for a moment after hanging up, emotions bubbling up, but I took a deep breath and went about the rest of the day. A short one but a tough one nevertheless.
I left early to pick her up, remembering the last time I went there. This was different but nearly as hard.
She's home now, spiritually and physically.
As we did with our cat family members before - Tiger, Pat, Sasha, and now Anya - we can mourn, we can eventually recover and think of all of the happy times together. Nearly thirty years worth.
It's a time to mourn, a time to remember, and yes, even a time to cry.
More Waterloo on the 'morrow ...
But not right now.
Peace.
Take all the time you need to cry Sarge.
ReplyDeleteRough day, but this too shall pass.
DeleteHard is not close to a strong enough word. Sorry for your loss and my heart and prayers go out to you and everyone that goes through this. We are going through this right now with our beagle Lily. Her ashes have been sitting on the mantle for the last couple of weeks. We are having a hard time deciding what to do with them. Earlier beagle family members were buried out in the yard immediately but we decided to have her cremated for lots of reasons, mainly our age. The speed of the closure was probably for the best with burial. We go on with life. Thanks for letting me spill some of the feelings onto your blog. As Nylon12 said, take all the time you need.
ReplyDeleteI know what you're going through dp226, my heart and prayers are with you and yours as well.
DeleteI am glad you are going to cry. Tears are a solvent for the toxins in grief. When Lazarus Rottencat died, I cried all afternoon.
ReplyDeleteI did on that day, I did yesterday, no doubt I will again.
DeleteYou're human, and we understand. Condolences to everyone.
ReplyDeleteJB
Thanks, JB.
DeleteIt is never easy Sarge. Condolences.
ReplyDeleteAs someone has noted, our home may at some point be confused for some kind of odd animal burial ground with the number of pets we have around us.
Thanks, TB.
DeleteBeen there. Mrs. Andrew's two girls are waiting to join her when the inevitable happens.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I care more about the ashes of two dogs than I care about those of most people.
I'll check to see if you need more of my weirdness at midnight.
Thanks, Beans.
DeleteHug. Sympathy tears. We are so blessed by the love we receive from our pets ... why is it so hard, sometimes, to demonstrate that to our fellow man? Hugs, again.
ReplyDeleteThanks, htom.
Delete💔
ReplyDeleteTake your time. We'll be here.
Thanks, Mary.
DeleteAgain, condolences Sarge. A short journey by car, but another Angel Flight...
ReplyDeleteYep.
Delete