Ah yes. It's been 26 days since I've had a cigarette. Twenty-six long days of being nearly-out-of-my-head-insane-at-times-from-nicotine withdrawal. TWENTY SIX TIMES HAS THE EARTH ROTATED... (Okay, okay, I'm good. Just get a little testy at times.)
I have cooked off a couple of times. What I mean is that no big explosions have occurred, just a couple of minor *POPS*, like random shots heard in the dark. Not so close as to be looking for cover, but close enough that you want to stay alert.
One night I was in the kitchen, fumbled something, grumbled a bit. Might have mentioned fudge, or something similar mind you. The Missus sang out from the other room "What is all that mumbling and complaining?"
Pausing, ever so briefly, "Ah yes dear, SEEMS I QUIT SMOKING AND AM NOT COPING WITH IT VERY WELL! I GUESS YOU DID NOT GET THAT MEMO!!!!!"
Crap, I'm doomed. Dead man walking. Surprisingly enough, she let me off with a warning. She used to smoke (a long, long time ago), she remembers.
But there have been days like this:
And visions of other motorists on the road suffering this fate:
And every so often, I have one of these days.
But as the Beatles sang, "It's getting better all the time..."
One day at a time. I AM feeling better. My children, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends and my wife and my Mom are all very pleased. I can do this. Dammit, I AM doing this.
Oh, one more thing. Tuna, if you're reading this, thanks. Thank You Sir! <Said while sitting rigidly at attention.>
You see, during my military career I was, early on, no angel. It was a Chief who got me to pull my head out of my you-know-where and propel me on to become a useful Non-Commissioned Officer.
I should have known that one day, it would be an Officer who would verbally slap some sense into me. Kinda surprised me though that it was a Naval Officer, a retired one at that. Again Tuna, thanks.
GO! sarge GO! Kick that awful habit. Buy yourself good things with the money you would have spent. Its a tough one. I have never smoked, but have seen the struggles of those who did in their quest to be free. I salute you.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I spent my money on wine women and song - the rest of it I just wasted.
Thanks HD. Good point about the wasted money, if it wasn't spent on wine, women and song...
DeleteMore power to you. It's a fine accomplishment. I hope you're giving yourself a little of something else as a reward.
ReplyDeleteHhhmm, HD made a similar point about rewarding myself. Now you two have made the old gears start grinding in the old noggin. (If you wondering what that rusty whirring noise you can hear is.)
DeleteThat is, "If you were..." as opposed to "If you..."
DeleteI'm not reverting to some weird pidgin English in my response. I'm just reverting to "I can't type worth a damn" mode.
Congrats! I KNOW how tough it is, believe me. I quit at least 16 times before the last time, which has stuck for nearly six years now. Then again, I just changed delivery systems since I'm now addicted to nicotine gum. My doctor approves (of the nicotine gum) and I'm not fouling my lungs any longer, so I guess I'm OK.
ReplyDeleteYeah it's tough. Six years Buck? I am impressed, last time I lasted six MONTHS.
DeleteSo far I'm doing better than I was. And I've discovered that blogging is therapeutic in so many ways!
Yeah, I'm here. Been out of town though visiting the other parental unit so I haven't been lurking as usual. It's my pleasure to slap a senior NCO from our lesser- I mean junior, service. You're welcome and I'll continue to pray that you are given the strength to fight it. By the way, my mom was a USAF Nurse before having yours truly.
ReplyDeleteYour Mom was an Air Force nurse? That seems to be a common thread with the folks I like, Mom or Dad was in the service, or perhaps an uncle or aunt. One way or another, connected to the service of the nation. And those like us, who wore the uniform, we get it in ways others don't. Again Tuna, thanks. And the prayers are appreciated. Sky Six has thrown some stuff at me lately which I know is meant to test my resolve to quit. I get the feeling He wants the "quit smoking" thing to stick this time. If it's hard, it's worth it. I intend to win this particular fight.
DeleteCongratulations! I really like the expression 'cooked off', I usually relate that to a fire somewhere it shouldn't be. Someone set fire to a gun shop not far from our shop. The firefighters & police could not get close to fight because too many rounds were 'cooking off'. So I picture you in your kitchen with random, occaisionally loud ( and in your case) self-destructive rounds 'cooking off'! Perhaps you could direct those minor explosions toward people that desrve it, say the nitwit clerks at your coffee shop? if you need ideas, I got a list here......
ReplyDeleteI breathlessly await receipt of said list. While I have my own list of deserving recipients of minor explosions, I always like to have independent confirmation. So to speak.
Deletejust had a new addition to my list...Bob ' i'm a sports commentator so that gives me wisdom to spout off about anything' Costas
DeleteCould not agree more. That particular dumbass is very near the top of my list right now! And I used to find him interesting?
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