My Air Force

F-16 of the Colorado Air National Guard
The Mile High Militia

A few days ago, over on Facebook, a friend of mine wanted me to comment on the following motivational poster -

My immediate reaction was, "It's obvious to me that the good admiral has never been in the Air Force nor in a corporation." Or words to that effect.

Now I've looked online for the provenance of that quote. It's been attributed to an "anonymous" Navy admiral. Now those guys (gals) are a pretty big deal in the Navy. How the heck could an admiral allegedly say something (anything) and remain "anonymous"? So, for what it's worth, I reckon the quote was made up by a very clever Marine junior officer (JO) who put it out there on the web of world-wideness and tacked on "anonymous Navy admiral" to give the quote more gravitas. (I say junior officer, but it could have been a corporal. They too are devious and ofttimes too clever by half.)

One thing I will give you is that the Air Force is different from the other three services. I think I can speak with some authority on the Air Force of 1975 to 1999, because that's when I served in that organization. (From 1999 until now I've been in a corporation, so I can speak with some credibility on that part of the quote as well.)

Pre-1975, can't really speak to what the Air Force was like and since I retired I have to rely on the Lame Stream Media or official Air Force propaganda sources. Just like everybody else. Not being in anymore means I can't speak to "today's Air Force". But the culture of an organization doesn't change that much in 15 years. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So that's the up front caveat emptor stuff, let's get to the point of this post. (Or attempt to...)

Now I'm not going to chime in on what is the point of that poster shown above. I don't really care. My opinion was solicited on Facebook as a retired Air Force Master Sergeant, in regards to the "Air Force is run like a corporation" piece of that quote above.

In my 24 years in the Air Force, at least every two to three years, we'd get some correspondence from some bright (dim) bulb Air Force JO with the following:

The Air Force should be run like a business.

Reading a little further, we would read that young Second Lieutenant Schmuckatelli recently graduated from Boondock University with a degree in Business Administration and received his (her) commission via ROTC. Said 2Lt Schmuckatelli was now an admin officer at MiddleofNowhere AFB.

Note a couple of things here. First of all the young lieutenant has a degree in business. He (she) is also non-rated. What does non-rated mean?

Can't fly or otherwise crew an aircraft in the inventory of the United States Air Force.

Right.

Now in the Air Force, the further you got away from the flight line (where those who crew and maintain aircraft dwell) the further away you were from the "business" of the Air Force. What is the "business" of the Air Force?

To fly and to fight!

Everything else is secondary.

So what does that mean precisely?

The Air Force has aircraft designed to:

• fight other aircraft
• drop bombs on people, places and things
• transport personnel, supplies and equipment over long distances
• refuel other aircraft
• provide ground and aerial surveillance (think JSTARS and AWACS)
• train people how to fly
• serve as airborne command posts (think NEACP and "Looking Glass")
• provide a search and rescue capability

The Air Force operates both fixed and rotary wing aircraft. Now there's another type of flying machine which is controlled by the Air Force. That would be missiles. Think ICBMs, think silos in North Dakota and Wyoming, think Armageddon and MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction). The fixed and rotary wing aircraft and missiles all fall under the generic term "aerospace vehicle". (At least that's what we called them in my day.)

Like I said above, the further away you get from those aerospace vehicles I mentioned above, the further away you are from why the Air Force exists. You're in a support role. You're "in the rear with the gear". Odds are, you seldom (if ever) wear a camouflage uniform or a flight suit.

Another indication that you're in a support role is if the Air Force gives you a "war skill". That's what we called it in my day, don't know what they call it now. Something no doubt gentler and less aggressive sounding than "war skill".

When I worked on the F-4 Phantom as a maintainer, I was not given a "war skill". Fixing the jet WAS my "war skill".

Later on down the road, when I had cross-trained to being a computer programmer and had been shipped off to Europe, I actually had a "war skill".

At this point, you may be wondering exactly what a "war skill" is.

If the United States gets into a shooting war, and you're not fixing or flying airplanes, then odds are you will be needed to fill in as a "war fighter". Kinda-sorta.

Now if your regular Air Force job is one of those nine-to-fivers, like programming computers, or being an admin clerk type or any other Air Force job which doesn't require you to actually get dirty, you're of only partial usefulness in a war. I mean your job still needs to get done, it's just not one of those "oh my Lord if we don't do this right now people are going to die" things.

What was my "war skill" in Germany? Well, I had two. When I was a Technical Sergeant (E-6), my "war skill" was carrying a very heavy German rifle and guarding things. While they did teach me how to load, shoot and clean the rifle, they didn't really teach me how to guard things. Thanks to a year of Army ROTC back in the '70s and the judicious application of common sense, I figured out how to guard things.

• Be alert.
• Never leave your post.
• Challenge anyone that wants access to what you're guarding.

(I had a captain try to bullsh!t his way past me one time. When I racked the bolt back on my rifle, he backed off, said well done and moved down the line to harass the next guy.)

When I attained the glorious station of Master Sergeant (E-7), I received a new "war skill". (Apparently Master Sergeants are far too lofty to actually carry a weapon.) My new "war skill" was Nuclear, Biological and Chemical (NBC) Decontamination.

Sounds fun, right?

Well, other than getting to spend an entire week in Bavaria (with the family) for training, it wasn't all that fun.

Wearing a rubber suit for a few hours at a time, practicing decontaminating personnel and vehicles was a bit, shall we say, exhausting.

While Germany doesn't get as hot as, say, Mississippi in the summertime, wearing a full rubberized NBC decontamination suit makes you fell like you're wearing a snow suit in Biloxi. In July.

I can tell you, it gets awfully sweaty in those things.

But getting back to the general topic of the Air Force. In my day, we relied on the troops having a certain amount of self-discipline and motivation. Those who could not maintain certain standards were shown the door and invited to try life as a civilian.

We didn't run in formation, we didn't PT en masse, we were expected to keep ourselves in shape and maintain a level of fitness commensurate with our particular jobs. Demonstrate an inability to do so and you were shown the door.

Now if I wanted to seize terrain or shoot the sh!t out of a passel of bad guys, I'd send in the Army. If I needed to do that across a beach, I'd send in the Marines. Of course, I would expect the Navy to be on hand to provide air support and shore bombardment for those Marines.

But if I want to bomb someone back to the Stone Age, I'd call the Air Force. They have the tools to get that done. And they can do it from a long, long ways away if need be.

None of the services can go it alone, the Air Force least of all. No point in bombing the living crap out of something and then just walking away. The bad guys will just crawl out of their holes, shake off the shock and the dust and go right back to being bad guys.

That's when you want a fellow with a rifle. He can pot those bad guys as they crawl from the rubble.

With the planet being mostly covered with water, you also need the Navy. Aircraft can't stay aloft for any length of time and guys with rifles can only swim/tread water for so long. Ya gotta be "haze gray and underway" to control the sea lanes. (Or have a submarine, or the suspected presence of a submarine, to give the bad guys pause.)

So you need 'em all.

But the Air Force being run like a corporation? Only in the minds of "anonymous" admirals or the imaginations of non-rated junior officers. With degrees in business. Who don't have real jobs. And far too much time on their hands.