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Sunday, May 8, 2016

These Are the Voyages...

(Source)
Houston, this is Sarge, over.

Sarge,  Houston - good morning up there!

Smooth sailing so far up here Houston, looks like the East Coast is socked in all the way from the Virginia Eastern Shore up through Labrador. I'm about to wrap up my 63rd orbit of the Sun and wonder if you have any instructions as I commence orbit number 64?

Sarge - keep up the good work, check in with the medical staff periodically and keep on doing what you've been doing.

Copy that Houston.

[Period of static follows...]

.....we.....interrupt....can't....what....try....not....THAT.....dammit!

[Static clears...]

Say again Sarge, your last transmission was garbled.

Yeah, ah, Houston... We have a problem...

Say problem Sarge...

Ah roger, Houston, seems we just accidentally vented the Guinness tank into space.

[A long moment of silence...] 

Copy that Sarge, switch over to the Jameson's tank for now while we work the problem down here.

Roger that Houston. When's the next resupply?

Two days, Sarge. Two days.

Damn. Alrighty then Houston, we'll get by, somehow.

Roger, Houston out.

=======================================================

Yup, today is my birthday.

Don't worry. I'm not really out of Guinness...



 
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36 comments:

  1. juvatMay 8, 2016 at 4:53 AM

    Happy Birthday, you old fart!

    I've had IFE's in my day and done some stupid things, but venting the Guinness tank? No Way!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 8, 2016 at 5:30 AM

    NEVER press the red button!

    A happy and joyous birthday celebration to you, good sir! I even ran the conversation in the NASA com/sat "sound" in my head. Thanks for the belly laugh! Nearly did the coffee/nostril/snort thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OldAFSargeMay 8, 2016 at 5:33 AM

      Hahaha!
      That was the effect I was going for. Thanks Bayouwulf.

      Delete
  3. Ron SnyderMay 8, 2016 at 7:33 AM

    Happy Birthday Sarge! If you were truly out of Guinness we might have to get FedEx/UPS involved for an emergency shipment.

    Funny, that conversation twixt you & NASA was quite believable.

    Glorious weather here today, hope it is in your neck of the woods also.

    V/R,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OldAFSargeMay 8, 2016 at 7:48 AM

      I'm in Virginia this week. WX in Alexandria is gorgeous. Supposed to rain the rest of the week.

      Delete
  4. FlugelmanMay 8, 2016 at 7:43 AM

    Whew! Was about ready to call SpaceX for an emergency resupply mission...
    Happy Birthday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OldAFSargeMay 8, 2016 at 7:49 AM

      Thanks Flugeman. No need foremergency resupply. Yet.

      Delete
  5. snuffynyMay 8, 2016 at 7:44 AM

    Happy Birthday to you! (And . . . a very merry unbirthday for all the other days of the year!)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well Seasoned FoolMay 8, 2016 at 8:04 AM

    Happy birthday. Hope you are celebrating it with your daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. (not necessarily your) Uncle SkipMay 8, 2016 at 8:24 AM

    Here's to enjoying your birthday with Mr. Jameson and Mr. Guiness ,,,but not too much!
    Also, with your daughters

    ReplyDelete
  8. PrairieAdventureMay 8, 2016 at 9:51 AM

    You've no doubt heard of the Constellation Urion. I believe your little switchology error would have resulted in the Réaltbhuíon Beoir. If I'm reading the interweb tea leaves correctly.

    Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Glenn Mark CasselMay 8, 2016 at 10:14 AM

    Happy Birthday My Dear Friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Murphy's LawMay 8, 2016 at 12:06 PM

    Happy Birthday!

    And no one should ever be out of Guinness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OldAFSargeMay 8, 2016 at 1:28 PM

      Thanks Murph. You are right, that should never happen.

      Delete
  11. Mike aka ProofMay 8, 2016 at 1:21 PM

    Happy birthday, Sarge! I thought I heard something about you being a "space cadet" before, but I never believed 'em until now! Bend an elbow for me, too!

    ReplyDelete
  12. BillMay 8, 2016 at 1:59 PM

    Happy Birthday, Sarge!
    (Vented the Guinness...My God, man, your writing has become nightmarish!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OldAFSargeMay 8, 2016 at 2:19 PM

      Hahaha!

      Yeah, that is too terrible to contemplate!

      Delete
  13. AnonymousMay 8, 2016 at 3:44 PM

    A very happy birthday to you, Sarge!
    That was a scary story. I think I need a safe space and a drink.
    --Tennessee Budd

    ReplyDelete
  14. joehMay 8, 2016 at 4:16 PM

    Happy Birthday you old fart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OldAFSargeMay 8, 2016 at 5:15 PM

      Hahaha! At least I'm not cranky. (I know, I know copyright blah blah blah.)

      Delete
  15. Old NFOMay 8, 2016 at 7:13 PM

    Happy Birthday! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  16. TunaMay 8, 2016 at 9:36 PM

    Very creative post! Loved it. Hbdty!

    ReplyDelete
  17. HMS DefiantMay 8, 2016 at 10:59 PM

    Happy Birthday and enjoy. There is a certain satisfaction to getting old. I'm not sure what it is so be sure to share it with me when you figure it out.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AaronMay 9, 2016 at 1:30 PM

    Happy Belated Birthday! Venting Guinness in such a fashion would be an abuse of alcohol. Hope you had a great one!

    ReplyDelete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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