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Praetorium Honoris

Monday, November 6, 2017

My level of excitement is above cricket proportions*

Mrs Juvat has found a pair of somebodies who can work a couple of Saturdays a month each.  Which means that Her and my schedules have some overlap again.  Her weekend is Saturday and Tuesday, mine a more normal Saturday and Sunday.  

Which means...drum roll please!

Saturday is honey-dew day, as you all correctly surmised.  Ah well.  It always was honey-dew day, but back then the honey-dew list didn't progress as much as lately.  So, yesterday the priority task was to replace the under cabinet microwave which gave it's last gasp nuking a hot dog a while ago.  

We decided that we didn't actually need a full sized microwave as we don't use it for much at all, other than heating a tortilla or rewarming Mrs J's tea. A table model works well for that.  We opted for a range hood.
A matching stainless steel backsplash is on order.  No, not shiplap!

You may have surmised from previous postings that I like to cook, and I do.  However, many of my favorite dishes involve a bit of heat, both kinetic and spice.  So, we needed a bit of ventilation.  The microwave was rated at ~200CFM for venting.  The new hood is rated at 900CFM.  I intend to test it this evening and use the enclosed toe holds to make sure I'm not sucked in.  (Update: Highly effective)

Retired Saturday evening after dinner with our winemaker friends feeling relaxed and contented from a productive day. 

Woke up this morning to the chirping sounds of birds.  They were more rhythmic than normal, however.  Very persistent chirp every second or so.  Showered and fixed my coffee, still the same persistent chirp, so gathered my coffee and stepped outside to daylight.  (God bless the end of DST!).  

However, the chirping sound was not birds, rather the alarm on my septic system.  

On the way to church, Mrs Juvat rearranges the honey dew list and places this new challenge at the top.  

So it is written, so it shall be.

Drop her off at work and RTB.  I attempt to remove the screws holding the top in place.  Never seen Phillips head screws with round holes where the slots should be.  Most difficult to remove with a screw driver.  

The hack saw, however, went through them like "buttah".

Pulled the top off to see this.
Difficult to see the height in this shot.  The white box is about 6"tall, the orange is an inch or so taller.  The mound goes up rather than out and was about 16" tall.

A large colony of Solenopsis geminata, aka Fire Ants.


While we have them elsewhere on the property, there are only three places that the colony grows to be this large.

The Air Conditioner

The pump in the well house

The pump in the septic system.

I don't know what it is about electricity, but the bastiges are attracted to it.

This is Texas.  For a lot of reasons, losing, or even potentially losing, any or all of those three systems is justifiable grounds for systemic and widespread genocide on that species.

Planning the campaign took incredible cunning.  Immediately after taking care of the overhead cover, I attacked their structure with long range weaponry.  In this case, a long handled steel rake.  This roused the sleeping defenders and one could see them trying to mount a defense and identify where the attack was coming from.  

Still fighting at the tactical level, I immediately followed with a close-in attack with a very stiff broom.  This was successful in removing the remaining vestiges of their base of operations.  Whilst keeping a close eye on my boots for small unit attacks, I initiated the strategic phase of the attack.

Moth ball crystals in the vicinity of the electrical components, to salt the earth and keep any survivors away from that critical infrastructure. This was followed a hefty dose of Amdro to exterminate any survivors in the main population.  Not having access to thermonuclear weapons, this was the best I could do. 

I believe Cato the Elder said it best, "Solenopsis geminata delenda est", right Sarge?  Although, fire ants may have gone by the name Carthage at the time.

At this point, the survivors  have organized their counteroffensive, so I gathered my forces, replaced the defensive cover on top of the endangered facility and exited the target area.

Ahhh! The life of a retired fighter pilot.  The title of the post says it all.  I expect the fire ant bites to fade in a few days.  Benadryl helps.


*C.S. Wooley

37 comments:

  1. When they start to swarm, put on water to boil. Dump a boiling gallon or two on each swarming nest. That's how I nuked the vermin, and it works a treat. Seems everyone is in the top of the nest to watch the flight take off.

    I have leaf cutter ants that are driving me nuts down south. I started using Delta Dust on them, and it works very well. Might be worth a shot on the smaller ones.

    Good luck mud mover!!

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    1. Interesting solution, I'll give it a try. BTW did you see the pictures of Houston after Harvey with the floating logs of fire ants? Persistent buggers aren't they?

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  2. I'd recommend snake and nape, but that just tells you how old I am. All I can say is thank Heaven for E. I. du Pont de Nemours and Company who bring death and devastation through the wonders of modern chemistry. But I still like the idea of snake and nape.

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    1. I'd be good with that, especially if I was driving the delivery system. Just sayin'.

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  3. I do not have the chirping birds alarm. Mine is more like wake the dead horn. First time this happened about a year ago, a couple of months after we moved in I had no idea what the hell was going on. It was during a 3am head call that I heard the damn noise. I grab a flashlight and out I go. On investigation I see the Red warning light but had no idea as what to do. Saw the box but again not idea how to access. Got the box info from the outside. Back into the house, fire up the laptop and do the search for info. After a quick read grab the slot head screwdriver and back outside I go. Oh, I forgot to mention it was RAINING. Removed the access panel and flipped the switch to turnoff the horn. I found out after a visit from the septic company that my float sometimes does not do its job to activate the pump to move the fluids along the system. I learned by watching so when the alarm goes off I have to remove the cover, turn off the horn, remove the heavy, heavy septic system cover and raise the pvc pipe which the float is attached to activate the pump. Once the associated alarm light is out, I can reset the horn and reseal the control panel

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    1. Fortunately, I haven't had to lift that lid. Pretty sure, the front end loader of my tractor would be put to use at that point.

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  4. So pretty much you experienced the old science fiction movie, "Them."

    Depending on exactly where Home Base is located, you might have been in range of Naval Gunfire Support.

    I remember a few things from ammo handling on destroyers.
    Five inch rounds are heavy.
    Only the Gunners Mates carried the White Phosphorous rounds.
    You get used to hugging a metal container of high explosives in a surprisingly short period of time.

    Thankfully the many downsides to living in Philly don't include fire ants.

    Good post.

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    1. Thanks.
      "Thankfully the many downsides to living in Philly don't include fire ants."
      Yet.
      Growing up in Big Spring, red ants and Horned Toads were prevalent. I haven't seen either in years. Fire Ants is the reason. Very migratory.

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    2. Hey, Juvat - funny, I was just thinking about those big red ants - I grew up in Dallas but frequently visited aunts and uncle in Wichita Falls, where Dad grew up. Wandering around that area, and on Boy Scout and dove hunting expeditions, saw LOTS of those big red ants, and damn they would hurt. I used to love seeing the horny toads, remember reading a while back that the fire ants had devastated their population. Oh yeah, and I also remember scorpions back then - learned pretty quickly to shake out shoes and bedrolls before putting body bits into them. I think the last time I saw a scorpion was at Thunder Ranch in Texas many years ago - one nailed Robbie Barrkman on the finger when he was picking up some lumber. Texas is a bit like Australia, isn't it? just maybe not quite as lethal!

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    3. Last time I saw a scorpion was as it crawled across our living room carpet. The cats started having fun with it. I thought they'd get stung and quit, but they took care of business. I finally put the miserable bastige out of its misery with my size 10. That reminds me of our first house after USAF retirement. Probably worthy of a post, say...next Monday?

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  5. I love modern chemistry in action. When I stepped on a nest last year, the welts took several months to go away. Not good. Fortunately I rarely wear shoes (part of the problem sez all).
    I have heard that the weight of the ants on the planet is greater than the weight of the humans. Something to ponder.

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    1. Their bites are infuriatingly bothersome aren't they? I don't wear boots all that often, but having a suspicion of the source of the chirping, I did that day. Only a few made it up and over the top.

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    2. Here's another home remedy. (I haven't had to try it for fire ant stings yet, thankfully). Venoms are some of the most complex proteins on the planet. What breaks down proteins? Meat tenderizer. They use an enzyme from the papaya plant. I have used this for mosquito bites and bee/wasp stings. Just wet the sting site (spit if you have too) and sprinkle on some Adolph's (or whatever brand) and leave it. It usually takes a few minutes to start working and maybe half an hour before the sting is gone.

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    3. I have heard that is a remedy. The bite very quickly starts to look like a pimple. I do know that you DO NOT want to pop it. Prolongs the problem and almost certainly leaves a scar.

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  6. Ants, I hate those guys!

    You would have made a fine centurion Juvat!

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  7. I'm thinking how happy I would be that they don't fly.

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    1. I didn't know that they did until STxAR mentioned it this morning.

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  8. This stuff gets my vote for fire ants. Have been using it since we moved to DFW area.

    https://www.homedepot.com/p/Ortho-Orthene-12-oz-Fire-Ant-Killer-0282210/100056182

    The active Ingredient is a nerve agent. Ants work by an amazingly acute and complex sense of smell. The "scent" of each individual is unique. When a wandering scout finds food, they head back to the nest. They "tell" each ant and they meet. All those other ants have to do is follow the first ant's scent to the food. So, ants share everything.

    The directions for this product say not to disturb the nest, but I'm sure that it is just a safety CYA. Besides, that's no fun. I use a plastic spoon to disturb the top of the nest so they come boiling out to man the ramparts. Then I sprinkle a full (tea)spoon of product over the nest. Let them share, right down to the queen. Watch for a minute or two, and you will see individuals start to twitch and go in circles. Come back in an hour, and you will see open tunnels and hear wind and crickets. Anybody remember this?---

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtLETb17B8o

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    1. I have seen that in the Big Box stores. Think I'll stop in after work today. Thanks. Twitching fire ants would be an improvement.

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  9. Do you think that Home Despot has it in the giant economy size? Sounds like just the thing for the NORK command post.

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    1. From Ortho website, looks like 12oz. is the only size for this product. That said, it goes a loooog way. Not that we are overrun, but I am still using the same container going on two years. I have probably hit a couple dozen mounds in that time, but a heaping teaspoon at most is all it takes. Ortho does make a bait you can broadcast for large areas. Check out YouTube. Their are some home brews baits you can mix in bulk for cheap.

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    2. Home Despot? I thought I was the only one that called it that!

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    3. NORK command post. Not sure how I missed that. But yeah, it's something to consider. Large scale pest control. Or a giant magnet---

      https://qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-2cdd7c2bed02556dd0e07cc900c5a173

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    4. Does remind one of a pack of dung beetles doesn't it?

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  10. Thanks for the post. Your tale makes my glad that fire ants have not ( yet ) discovered Oregon.

    Paul L. Quandt

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    1. Your saving grace might be that they'd have to make it through LA and that would leave a rotten taste in their mouth.

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  11. If you are all out of meat tenderizer, vinegar of any flavor (apple cider, white, red wine, etc) works well against bites/stings to counteract the venom from bees/hornets/ants/horseflies/wasps etc. Helps until the Benadryl kicks in.

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    1. THAT I do have in abundant supply. Thanks, Suz!

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  12. I have always gotten good results woith naphthalene palmate.

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    1. Since I make so many typos, I don't usually criticize others, but there's a BIG difference in results when you search for "naphthalene palmate" and when you search for "napthalene palmitate". Well done, Mr Badger, sir!

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  13. Oh joy of joys... And yes, nuking from orbit IS a valid option on those little @$%(!)!

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  14. Read someplace that 409 kills bees, wonder what a remote activation of a stream would do to the area of infestation.

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  15. Beneficial nematodes. While living in Texas I discovered fire ants the hard way. They don't look like what you think something you have heard so many stories about would look like. But they do live up to their reputation.

    My first engagement with them was using chemicals. I put the chemicals everywhere but in my flower beds (raised flowerbeds). So, shortly I had successfully driven the fire ants from my yard to my flower beds where they proceeded to eat the landscaping timbers. While at the local feed store the little old lady running the store told me about beneficial nematodes. The good thing about these little critters is they move. They are self propelled destroyers of anything which lays eggs in the soil: fire ants, spiders, and termites. The next season my neighbor inquired as to why he had fire ants and I did not. It was almost a line (we lived in a sub-division) where my yard ended and his began well marked by fire ant mounds. I told him the secret. Soon most of my neighbors had done the same and we stopped having issues with them. Two applications per season seemed to hold the line. That was a suburb of Fort Worth, but I suspect you should inquire in your area as to their efficacy in your neck of the woods.

    Oh, and they really seem to like electrical equipment. There was a plan to build a particle accelerator in Texas which was abandoned due to losing the battle with fire ants in their electrical circuitry.

    Good luck.

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    1. Definitely going to give that a look see. Thanks for the info.

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