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Praetorium Honoris

Monday, February 5, 2018

Oh....Deer!

Sarge recently had a post in which he described an early morning encounter with some deer which he managed to segue through political posts into music involving Foo Fighters finally ending up with his dancing talents. Evidently, as a dancer, he ranks right up there with Fred Astare. 

Yes, I know how to spell the man's name!

The scary part was that I was staying with him through that whole bobsled run of topics, only falling off the sled once on his choice of Foo Fighter music.  I, when I use Fighter and Music in the same sentence, am relegated to a music from a 1986 movie and an opera from Wagner. But then,  I'm not as well cultured as Le très vieux sergent de la Force aérienne. I mean he can actually speak 'ze Frawnshh!

The man has some verbal, as well as literary, chops, yes he does.  

I, on the other hand, resort to a version of the Russian Strategy in WWII on the eastern front.

"Quantity has a quality all its own."  

But, his post, did provide me with a story, including pictures of course. I'm a fighter pilot, big words confuse me.  Like their, they're and there.

So...On with the show!

In a disheartening note, world renowned huntsman, OldNFO, went hunting a couple of weeks ago and didn't see anything. Missing Spectacles not withstanding, I ventured a comment that just maybe he wasn't hunting in the right place.

About pistol range, I think


I mean, c'mon!  Around here, I regularly bag a deer.  In fact, I can't remember the last year that we didn't get one.  The gunnies on Sarge's blogroll will talk about this rifle or that (Musket in some cases, Thompson's in others), but that's not the weapon guaranteed to attract and dispatch a deer.

In my case, my family's most effective weapons are a 1995 Dodge caravan, a 1998 Dodge Caravan, a 2001 Dodge Ram pickup, a 2005 GMC Sierra, a 2005 Dodge Durango (3 Kills), a 2014 VW Tiguan,  and a 2015 BMW 325.

Kill ratio is 9 to 1.

But the war ain't over and Road Supremacy has not been achieved.  The enemy is massing forces.



juvat, that's just a few deer! Wouldn't even fill a freezer.

Oh yeah? this is about 30 degrees further right.
The highway is about a quarter mile further right, and the river (their main source of water) is on the other side.

Which usually results in:


Unfortunately, our one loss.  12 years and 226,000+ miles.  It was a good ride. 
We waited 3.5 hours for the AAA tow truck.
Fortunately, Mrs Juvat was fine.  The deer ended up in the Bar Ditch on the other side of the road.



Nothing a glass of Tempranillo and a friendly cuddle couldn't handle.

I drive that highway every day.  It's very, very rare that I don't see a deer carcass on or near the road.  

So, yes, I wish hunters every success during Deer Season and wish the season could be longer and the limit much higher.

Now if we could just do something about the Turkey's on the road. (Most of whom are in vehicles.)

Update: Sorry, forgot this picture from Sunday morning. He's inside my fence, less that 100' away.  Standing there like he owns the place.  I've walked out onto the porch and am pointing things at him.  He's just standing there! And I wonder why he tries to run in front of me?


36 comments:

  1. That's a lot of deer!

    Good one Juvat, nice chuckle for a Monday.

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    1. Thanks.
      This morning as I exited my property, I saw a three ship planning a surprise attack. They were forming up on the far side of the dumpster ready to spring out when I drove past. Imagine their dismay when I stopped at the dumpster and threw out the trash. Attack timing disrupted, they beat a hasty retreat. The enemy obviously had no reserves as no further attacks were attempted.

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  2. Perfect start for a day of demolition in spite of the snow. Thanks Juvat.

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    1. Thanks Russ. Remember....We're no longer Chip Gaines age. Slow and easy is max speed now.

      Oh....and.....Shiplap!

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    2. Any demolition that gets done today will be done by Serv-Pro. My responsibility is strictly as a "forward observer" (or so says my CO). And by the way, I've found it a lot cheaper to bag my deer with my Ruger .270! ;-)

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    3. Yeah, at $500 per, it can get quite expensive quite fast.

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    4. "...at $500 per, it can get quite expensive quite fast."

      I'm assuming that the $500 is your deductible; my son pointed out to me that the policy with a $100 deductible is not much more expensive and with all of your claims, the difference will be made up quickly. Or, it might be the magic bullet that ends the deer/auto meetings. Either way it's a win.

      Another great juvat post.

      Thanks for the post.
      Paul L. Quandt

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    5. Thanks, Paul. I'll look into that.

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  3. THey can be dangerous and they are all over. My wife clipped one three years ago and she was in the middle of Satreville, if you know NJ, you would find that very surprising. We need more hunters.

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    1. They've been appearing inside our town also. The Daughter lives in Austin and has said there have been deer strikes there regularly.

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  4. I am thinking that maybe a large Radio Controlled AC-130 might be just the thing for deer control.
    Or maybe a large scale R/C A-10 armed with a belt fed AR would be a better way to go.
    Looking forward to seeing the video with great anticipation.

    As I mentioned before, the small quadrotor didn't work against the deer when used in the Divine Wind mode. Obviously I need a much bigger quadrotor.

    Good post.

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    1. An AC-130 might be just the thing. 20MM to pick them off, 105mm to clean up the carcass. Course there's a small matter of a crater. But...I like the way you think!

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    2. Well, the crater could be used to form a watering hole to lure in and concentrate enemy forces for followup strikes.

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    3. Hadn't thought of that, good point.

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  5. Mrs Juvat is a damn good sport!!

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    1. Based on the fact that she married me, I can't disagree.

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  6. Even the little black tails can do tons of damage.
    Come to think of it, so can a pheasant on the freeway.
    Wildlife made be cute [sic] but they’re not our friends.

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    1. The BMW hit a fawn, $4600 total to repair, fortunately USAA doesn't even flinch any more with deer strikes. So only $500 out of Little Juvat's wallet.

      You didn't think it was me driving a BMW did you? The GMC Sierra was my vehicle.

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  7. With a 9 to 1 kill ratio and such an expensive armory, I'm sure USAA would prefer you use something of a smaller caliber. They might even spring for the tags if you ask nicely.

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    1. Heck, I'D prefer using something of smaller caliber. (as long as I'm not IN it.)

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    2. Or maybe we could install some sort of Iron Dome/CIWS/Anti-Deer system to detect the impact before it happens, shredding it into venison before USAA needs to get involved!

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    3. John’s suggestion of an AC-130 has a lot of merit, to be sure,

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  8. Chevy Impala's work well to kill them off as well. Thankfully I wasn't the one driving that sunny Saturday morn in mid-October as we decided to head north to leaf-peep and check out a new restaurant. Hubby was.
    $8000 worth of damage.
    And it didn't cost me my deductible as here in MI, the Auto-Owner's Insurance says it is the state DNR who are responsible for controlling the deer herd so they don't go running across the road into passing cars. I was dubious, but the nice lady on the other end of the line assured me if there is a deer-car interaction of the denting type, it is the fault of the DNR. So I didn't have to pay my deductible. Okaaay...hey, $500 bucks staying in my pocket, I'm not gonna protest too much.
    The bow hunter who was trying to hunt just inside the tree line was not too happy with all of us getting out, talking, calling back and forth to each other (what is the cross street just up there?) or with the siren of the deputy who came to do the damage report and allow Hubby to drive it back the 20 miles to the house so we didn't have to wait for a tow truck.
    The lessons I learned that day were: 1. Always bring an extra jacket, even if you don't think you will need it. I did, he didn't, but I had put one of his in the car so he only froze for 15 minutes before he gave in. 2. Never scream with your mouth open if something large is headed directly toward your windshield...which shatters into a very fine powder, which is NO FUN to get out of your mouth/throat so 3. Always bring a canteen/bottle of some sort of liquid (water worked well) to rinse/gargle your mouth/throat out with. It was a very nice size doe, but I was not about to put a dead, bloody deer in the truck all over my nursing stuff and we had no room in the freezer as we had just thought about beginning the clean out the freezer process to be sure there is room for "deer season" which in our house starts on Nov 15, not Oct whatever. Hubby only does rifle season, not bow season.
    It took 27 days to get my car back together again, but at least I got a free rental for the duration.
    And, yes, I see deer every day on my way to work. They are definitely out there. Plotting...

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    1. All good things to keep in mind. I have a couple of different weight jackets in my vehicle as well as gloves and a stocking cap. A case of water bottles is in the back under the seat along with a tarp and a blanket. And this is in Texas, not Michigan, but survival is survival.

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  9. Even the built up environs of Washington DC have their problems. Just this weekend a 4-ship attempted to jump me on the acceleration ramp leading onto the Beltway. Quick use of the horn turned the leads' head, albeit within arms-length of the drivers' door and quarter panel. Once my turbo kicked in they moved comfortably abaft the beam where they decided to break off the attack.

    Speed is life, more is better, or so I've been told.

    /
    L.J.

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    1. They do seem to try and pull lead don't they? The Sierra and one of the Durango hits were side doors as I floored it just prior to impact to avoid taking it in the engine/windshield. Out of Pocket was still $500, but damage to the vehicle was reduced.

      Speed is Life was always my motto in my prior life. "Captain, why were you doing 750 coming off the target? Cause I couldn't get 800 sir!"

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  10. Well, I 'could' have gotten one with the car, but prefer not to. As far as the lack of deer... Next year I'll come camp in your back yard... sigh

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    1. Give me a bit of notice and you can set you blind on our guest houses front porch. Which reminds me, i forgot to post a picture.

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  11. I got this lesson early on(1970) riding in the back seat of a '67 (or so) Chrysler Neuport. We were heading home late at night from an away high school football game in Weed in northern California. We were on a two lane highway traveling through dense pine forest. My uncle was driving, and had already slowed down as we had just seen some deer cross the highway. As were passing through road cut, a doe jumped off the high side of the cut and came DOWN into our field of view (See? They attack from above, too). We were still doing about 45 mph, and she landed on her feet on the road at the moment of impact. Grill into radiator into fan into engine into transmission. Almost bent the shift lever getting it into neutral so we could push it onto the shoulder. Fortunately, some other folks from our school and the team bus were not far behind, so we all got a ride home. My uncle and someone else stayed to get the car towed. As I recall, my aunt was pretty chipper by the time we got home. That car had been a lemon from day one and she hated it. Now they could get something new.

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    1. Fortunately, i haven’t seen the “deer in the sun” attack... yet. Probably very effective. I predict that they’ll perfect the high 6 attack next. Could be effective! May have to entice Old NFO down and bring his glasses with him. I think Single Malt Scotch might be an effective bait.

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  12. I'm up to six bambis with a moving vehicle.

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    1. Well 1 and 4 and you and I are double aces. Not sure that counts for much nowadays though.

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  13. Up here in Wisconsin, we tend to put extra heavy duty brush guard/push bars on our trucks, called Deer Smuckers, as you can smuck deer with them. You should put one on Your Truck. Rhino makes a PIT ( Pursuit Intervention Technique ) capable one that works quite well.

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    1. Yeah, I'm seriously considering one. I'm more concerned about Mrs J's new Transit connect. Low to the ground and very large windshield. Don't know if it's got the HP to handle it though.

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  14. Had some venison andouille sausage for supper last night and some more with this mornings breakfast.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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