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Praetorium Honoris

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Wow!

My son, The Naviguesser, sent me a couple of links the other day. The links are to the iModeler website, which I had never heard of before Tuesday. Now I think I'll be spending some time over there.

The model, yes, that's a scale model, in the opening photo was done by a Korean fellow. As you might be able to tell, the guy is an absolutely amazing modeler. You can see more of his stuff by visiting here.

Another angle of the same diorama, same source as above.
As you can see, the U-Boat has already suffered a fatal hull breech, and another torpedo is inbound. I'd say those sailors are doomed. Though the boat is pretty shallow, she's going to fill up fast.


I have put together the odd model kit from time to time, last one I built was in Omaha in the late-80s. It was a French heavy cavalryman and his horse at the time of Waterloo. The model came out very well. He survived the move to Germany and the move to Little Rhody. He did not survive one of The Missus Herself's dusting operations.

She wasn't trying to destroy it, but stuff happens when you're moving things around to get the fragile stuff out of harm's way. He's reparable but I haven't got around to it yet, what with the half-million other irons I've got in the fire.

Seems that most of the models I've built over the years have come to a sad end.

There was the 1/25 scale Tiger I tank that I built before joining the Air Force, it and a rather large number of 1/35 scale kits (all World War II German kits by Tamiya) all vanished into the maw of the ancestral dwelling where, no doubt, they met their demise at the hands of The Olde Vermonter and his frau when they bought the place. (I don't even want to think of all the countless model aircraft, from WWI to Vietnam, that I lost.)

I was overseas, they needed the space, so a lot of stuff got thrown out. It pains me to think of it but hey, what are ya gonna do?

The one that probably hurt the most was a huge scale model of the USS Constitution. She was still under construction when it was time to move from Korea to Colorado. I had spent hours upon the rigging, standing and running (those who know, know) and she was coming along nicely. The Missus Herself had even commissioned a large case for her to live in (the ship, not my wife) when she "came off the ways" and was in all respects ready for sea.

I anticipated completion a few months into our assignment to Denver. Alas, it was not to be.

The movers came to pack our stuff and things seemed to be going rather smoothly and quickly, Koreans are hard workers, thorough as well. The Missus Herself had explained that the model ship was to be packed in the case she had commissioned for it. She didn't really go into details, but then again it was pretty obvious to even a casual observer that the ship was a most delicate beastie, what with her tall tapering masts and yard upon yard of carefully (and laboriously) applied rigging.

So naturally, they let the stupidest guy on the crew pack the ship in its case. I guess he understood that the case was fragile, very fragile as it was made of glass. The Missus Herself had specified plexiglas, so they were close. There was also not enough time to get it done correctly. She assured me that she let the guy know in no uncertain terms that he screwed up and there had better be a discount from the negotiated price as he had not net the specifications as given. Yup, 50% off. Didn't save the ship however. The guy doing the packing obviously missed the point of the ship being the key thing, and also very fragile.

As I walked into the courtyard of our dwelling, I saw the guy cramming wads of newspaper into the glass case which was to hold Old Ironsides. Upon closer inspection I noticed that the ship was in the freaking case!!

Screaming in rage and frustration I inquired of the Korean chap destroying my ship whether or not he actually had two brain cells to rub together and really, had his parents had any children who had survived to adulthood. As I had yet to muster enough Korean to go after the lad in his native tongue (I was berating him in rather loud English which could no doubt be heard all the way over in Japan), the love of my life came on scene, shooed me away and lambasted the poor dumbass Korean-style. That is politely, no doubt with respects to his sainted ancestors and wouldn't they be absolutely appalled at the ignorance and utter stupidity he had demonstrated on that day?

The glass case survived the trip to Colorado, didn't survive college though, one of the progeny managed to drop a heavy object upon the top which pretty much put paid to that. Fortunately no one was injured. The ship, or what was left of it, wasn't in the case at the time. She was kept in a closet, out of sight, out of mind, in a cardboard box. She looked rather like someone had driven her into a category 4 hurricane without bothering to shorten sail. Her top masts were all snapped off, clinging to the wreck by the rigging strung with care so many months before.

Finally, when we left Omaha, The Missus Herself beheld the box containing the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald USS Constitution and inquired as to whether or not I had plans of effecting repairs or just planned on lugging the poor thing from duty station to duty station until such time as the sea yielded up her dead, etc., etc.

As we drove off to temporary housing, our house on the base having been emptied and standing ready for the next occupants, I beheld the box containing my ship for the last time. Out by the curb with the other flotsam and jetsam of our tour at Offutt AFB. 'Twas a bitter day I tell ye.

But I've moved on. Haven't built a model in years, when I mentioned that website above to the love of my life, she casually mentioned that the drum kit was enough, I wasn't to bring home anymore hobbies.

Well, alrighty then, she has spoken.

Someday though, I'll spring all the kits I have stowed in the upstairs closet on her and point out that they were purchased prior to her announced embargo on "new" hobbies.

No, I don't think that will fly either.

Worth a shot though...


36 comments:

  1. Thought on seeing the first picture was "ballistics jell", following immediately by "how on earth....."

    /
    L.J.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "New hobbies." One of joys of retirement.
    A new hobby takes some thought.
    Is this just a whim, or something I want to do?
    Should I buy an intro level setup for the hobby, then spend the money again to buy the advanced setup?
    When my wife says, "Absolutely not! Don't buy that!" What does she really mean?
    What are the possible repercussions of ignoring her input? (repercussions, I worked a sort of drum thing into the comment!)

    When I was thinking about buying a sewing machine, she said words to the effect of, "We don't need a sewing machine!"
    There wasn't much of a speed bump when the sewing machine showed up, and now she simply hands me clothing and says, "I cut and pinned this, please sew the hems."

    Your mileage may differ.

    The diorama builder does awesome work. Thanks for the link.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We obtained a sewing machine some time in the distant past, The Missus Herself is terrified of it. I am the "go to guy" for hemming new jeans for her.

      And yes, that guy is amazing.

      Delete
  3. Yowza......that Korean bloke has TALENT! The seawater, explosion effects, the weathering.......it's like looking at color photos from WWII in 4K. Dabbled myself with the 1/35 Tamiya armor kits and Airfix 1/72 planes back in high school....good times, good times. Shame about Old Ironsides, rigging done right takes time not to mention the eyestrain. I'll crack one open and toast to the memory of the USS Constitution. Oh, thanks for posting that website Sarge, down another rabbit hole!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am currently working on a scratchbuilt 1:6 Hofner violin bass. Sliced my right thumb open with one of my carving blades. I really, really, need to buy a scroll saw. But the 4" table saw comes first!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wonder if that is supposed to be U-864?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wrong type, U-864 was an IXD2. According to the modelmaker it’s a fantasy series, based on the whole hunter becoming the hunted thing...

      Delete
    2. Scott - Chase the link, one of the diorama he built is based on the capture of U-505. Very detailed, about the size of a #2 pencil. Pretty awesome work.

      Delete
    3. a bear - I need to dig into that guy's page some more, lots and lots of excellent work there.

      I wonder if he actually has time to work a 9 to 5 job?

      Delete
    4. I knew 864 was a Typ XID, but thought artistic license. Amazing work, whatever inspired it.

      Delete
  6. Hey, a 1:96 scale model of USS Constitution should only require something like 2200 feet of cordage to be accurate.

    (Got the figure of forty miles of cordage from here, including neat info about US Navy ropemaking: https://ussconstitutionmuseum.org/2016/10/21/ropemakers-navy-part-ii/ )

    I can only assume that such vessels required a sizeable force of trained spider monkeys to repair that stuff in combat, but I’ve never seen their cages on any deck plans or schematics. It’s a puzzlement to me.

    (I’ve never sailed on anything larger than Corwith Cramer [ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corwith_Cramer_(ship) ] and that was an impenetrable forest of rigging that took quite a while for my teenage brain to suss out. Still remember sweating the halyards, though.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There were a goodly number of spools of varying size thread, of the proper scale thickness and color for use on the ship. And many, many, many, blocks for that rigging to go through. Building the model it was amazing how much rope there was, when I went aboard HMS Surprise (ex-Rose) out in Sandy Eggo it was another thing entirely seeing all that rigging for real. Frigging ropes everywhere!

      Corwith Cramer is a very lovely brigantine, she lives not far from me if that link is up to date.

      Delete
  7. Always hated model building, perhaps a lack of patience. The end result always looked like a piece of bad abstract art.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patience is a needed attribute for modeling. As you can see, the guy who made that diorama has massive amounts of patience. Job would be impressed!

      Delete
  8. You'd better watch it. She might concede, only to hit you with you get new hobby, she gets bigger house. Now, you do have room in the back to replace current gardening shed with Sarge's new and improved backyard den of manly stupidity, but the cats would complain...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm treading very, very carefully. I'm sensing a minefield...

      Delete
    2. Oh, yeah. The minute you turn your back your room will become a... Craft Room!!! Scrapbooking. Potpourri. Beads. Other weird and expensive but useless, I mean, ridiculous, I mean frivolous, I mean uh, uh, uh...

      Oh, look, Squirrel!

      So, deep in the night, hiding in your basement, building models... It may be in your future!

      Delete
    3. No doubt by candlelight, wearing shabby clothes, jumping at every noise...

      Delete
  9. Hey Old AFSarge;

    I bought a USS Constitution model back in 1990, probably the same size as the one you had, the box is like 3 feet long. The ship still is in the box and I think it was made by either Revelle or Monogram. I used to build models while I was in the service from cars to armored vehicles and I still have them....some are damaged and some still are complete. One day I will have time and a place(very important) to build a few more.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The ripples of the waves, the cavitation of the torpedo, an underwater explosion...the man's a frikken genius! Hard enough to make a realistic model like that, just sitting on a stand, using the original specs. I will commit every remaining model kit I have to the briny deep. We are not worthy!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, what an eye for detail!

      We're not worthy indeed!

      Delete
    2. No, we are not worthy. That is far beyond anything I even imagined back when I was building models. I've got one model I'm going to finish once I've got the tooling worked out and find the time -- an Athenian trireme at about 4' length. I bought blueprints for the reconstruction Olympias of the Greek Navy, and have been modifying in CAD to match lessons learned and a few things from marine archaeology. I would dearly love to motorize the oars and have a possibly workable scheme worked out, but between work and school, I doubt I will finish it before age 70. If family history of dementia doesn't claim me first, as I fear is already starting on some bad days. Moo. :(

      Delete
    3. Now that sounds like a project!

      I'm sure Beans and Juvat can give you tips on what the rowing should look like. ;)

      Delete
  11. When I first looked, I cringed, thinking, “Colonoscopy gone bad.”
    Tiny screen will do that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was my thought when I first saw it on my phone. Probably because I underwent my first colonoscopy a few weeks ago. Thank goodness I could zoom in, but at first, I was very much less than impressed.

      Delete
    2. Skip - I sometimes forget that people come visiting from smart phones.

      Gomen nasai.

      Delete
    3. Larry - My doc keeps saying I have to have another, soon.

      No fun.

      Delete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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