Say What?

Fair Use

Sometimes we go for days here at The Chant without any comments in the moderation file. Now, the moderation file is where comments on posts older than seven days go to languish until one of two things happens: 1) I say "Oh look, a Chanter commented on a post from a cuppla weeks ago, I'll allow it. or 2) I look at a comment and say "WTF, over... Huh? Bye bye." (Which means it gets deleted.)

Now one way a comment can wind up in moderation is by having a link in it. Blogger is rather inconsistent with that. Regular readers often post an actual link (not just the text version of the URL) and it gets through. Sometimes completely unknown types, typically from countries named India, get through, links and all. Why those guys think that a blog based in New England, with a largely American audience, might need the services of a moving company in Bangalore, India, is beyond me.

A spammer with a Japanese name was fished out of the moderation file the other day, had a link and everything, he/she/it was attempting to sell us something. No, I don't click on those type links, Lord knows where I'd end up. Those (with an actual name attached, not Anonymous, or Unknown) get marked as spam. Which moves them to the spam file. Where I have to go and delete them. Why Blogger makes me do the "Spam Two-Step" I have no idea.

Anyhoo, from time to time I get spam comments that just blow my mind. (Yes, I get the same look as Kevin Hart has in that opening photo. By the way, I find Kevin to be an extremely funny guy.) So as I was pressed for time (a dinner engagement gestern Nacht) I decided to share some of the more recent weird comments I have received (rather than write an actual "have to work at it" post) -

Note that the bit in purple is the name of the post, and the list below is who wrote them. No, Tuna does not get more spam than juvat, Beans, or myself.

• Labor Day... Meh - I wrote it.
• Mai-Tais, Mars, and Mahalo - Tuna wrote it.
• New Kids in the Class! - Tuna wrote it.

I give you, the spambots:

I love it when individuals come together and share ideas. Great site, continue the good work! on Mai-Tais, Mars, and Mahalo

I like the valuable information you provide in your articles. I'll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I am quite sure I will learn plenty of new stuff right here! Good luck for the next! on Labor Day... Meh

Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A fantastic read. I will certainly be back. on Labor Day... Meh

Write more, that's all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what you're talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something informative to read? on New Kids in the Class!

I am not positive the place you're getting your information, however good topic. I needs to spend a while studying much more or understanding more. Thank you for wonderful information I was in search of this info for my mission. on New Kids in the Class!

I won't even try to interpret the point behind those fractured comments. No links, so what could they possibly be trying to sell? Most of the posts that get these weird-ass comments are months, if not years, old. What precisely do these spambots hope to accomplish, unless it's simply to entertain me?

I'd like to say "You can't make this stuff up." But apparently you can. Somewhere out there is a flawed, but nearly comprehensible, English comment generator, which all the spambots use. Almost reminds me of all the fractured English manuals I have seen on all of the many toys I've bought (and had to assemble) for the progeny over the years. All of those manuals were written by some guy in China who when asked, "Does anyone here speak and read English?" (Question asked in some dialect of Chinese, of course.) There was that one guy -

"Why yes, I am speaking of the English. I am fascinated by the topic and will be back for more."

"Okay Chen, you write the manuals. The rest of you - 回到你的頭上，喝咖啡休息時間結束了"

Heh, two can that game play.