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Praetorium Honoris

Thursday, July 4, 2019

Ouch!


Managed to catch my finger in the kitchen door while heading outside.

Blood dripping everywhere as I talked to my lawn guy, he had a reference for a guy to maybe redo our upstairs bath...

"Are you okay?" He said as he looked at my hand.

"Not really." I answered.

As I didn't elaborate he finished writing down the guy's name and number.

Once inside I alerted The Missus Herself of my need for medical attention. Off to the "urgent care facility" we went.

Where we waited for a good 15 minutes. The amount of sheer incompetence on display was mind-boggling.

Finally saw a nurse practitioner (who definitely needs more practice) who decided x-rays were in order. I resisted the urge to comment, "No shit, ya think?"

X-rays revealed a fracture at the tip of the middle finger. Hell, if they'd just lifted the flap of skin which used to be the pad of my finger you could probably see the damned bone. I needed what the NP called a "bone doctor." In other words, an orthopedic doctor. Too big a word for the NP perhaps?

Did they properly bandage it before sending me on my way to an actual hospital? Only if you consider a wad of gauze and about 20 feet of tape proper. Like I said, incompetent. The NP recommended three hospitals, I chose the one I've had surgery at in the past. Told the NP that. to which she said not a word.

Arrived at said hospital, they said "we have no bone doctors, you need Rhode Island Hospital for that..." You'd think that original NP might have freaking mentioned that. Nope.

So back across Providence we went to RIH.

After much waiting, and more x-rays, we got to the back room, where the magic happens. They had to cut my wedding ring off, swelling and all that, believe me that ring wasn't coming off with lubricants, it's been on there a long time. Seems it shrunk as well.

Anyhoo, apparently they let management choose the tools, the auto-magical powered thing didn't work all that well. They had to go old school with a human powered cutter, which finished the job, after about an hour.

They orthopedic team showed up, assessed the situation, shot the hand with the injured digit full of juice to block nerves and deaden the finger. Cleaned the wound, which was so damned nasty looking even I was a bit grossed out. No pictures, no way.

Then they mentioned having to remove the fingernail as there was bruising under it, not a big surprise there. But remove it? I had visions of WWII in the hands of the enemy, pulling fingernails and all that. And guess which portion of my anatomy was yet to be numb?

Yup, the tip of the injured finger.

Holy sweet crap did that hurt. Everyone has a breaking point, I know mine. Yup, pull out a pair of pliers and head for the fingernails and I'll tell you everything, shoot me afterwards, I don't care. Better yet, shoot me during, I'd welcome it!

Anyhoo, more shots were administered, more poking and prodding ensued, finally the finger was ready.

No, I didn't watch.

Oddly enough, after they'd cleaned and treated everything, sewed my finger pad back on and all, they sewed the nail back on. Odd that, but the doctor said it was loose enough not to cause undo pain to the broken fingertip but strong enough to act as a natural splint.

After nearly eight hours of this medical adventure, we returned home to the manse. Best comment of the day was from The Missus Herself as we hit hour two in the waiting room at the ER:

"What are they doing back there, waiting for a kid to finish medical school before they fix your finger?"

Sure felt like it.

No posts for the next cuppla, hard typing with one hand, and the meds are starting to wear off on the damaged digit.

I'm on medical leave of absence from the blog for a while. Oddly enough, this was my first broken bone ever.

Oh, and...

Happy Independence Day. Enjoy!

Ciao.




23 comments:

  1. A couple of points.

    You can hold a certain finger up in the air when people ask. "What happened?"

    Now that you've told us the truth, tell us a story that starts with, "What happened? there I was minding my own business and ....!"

    My personal experience with a finger injury involved a woodworking router and it was to the tip of the same finger of the same hand.

    I strongly suggest not banging the bandaged finger on the turn signal stalk when you are driving. (the pollen attack was so intense I had to pull over)

    During my ER experience I heard the hand doctor explain to the intern that the tip of the finger gets numb last because those nerves are in the center of the bundle. (those with actual medical knowledge please weigh in)
    During my ER experience I mostly watched the wall. I did glance down when the finger was all wrapped up and I can say the human fingernail is much longer than I expected, and seeing my fingernail amidst the debris pretty near made me lose lunch.

    In this instance I actually did feel your pain.


    Take care of yourself and best wishes for recovery.



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  2. Remember, next time use a kubotan when you punch antifa.........:) Hoping you're right-handed and able to lift a libation for Independence Day Sarge! Getting medical treatment makes for loooong day. Rest up and we'll talk among ourselves.

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  3. Ye gods and little fishes!! OUch! I've used a 12 gauge shotgun shell for a splint multiple times. I've got 500 hundred or so waiting to be reloaded, just say the word and I'll send you a few. Think that would make a stink at the office??

    I truly hate hand injuries. If I can't mine my nose, life is too hard to handle. I don't know if it's stress relief or what, but booger hooking is ...... hahahha, made myself laugh, couldn't keep it going....

    Hey man, take it easy. I suggest a large feathered fan, and a beautiful missus feeding you clusters of grapes and raisins. You can tell her your vet said so!!

    Rest easy....


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    Replies
    1. Ye gods and little fishes, don't use a shotgun shell as a splint in Massachusetts or New York City. Both places have no sense of humor and too much sense of stupidity.

      Other than that, cool idea!

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  4. Next time, no matter how mad you are at the door, don't give it the finger!

    Get better soon, and I hope it heals up right quick for you with the least amount of discomfort on the way.

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    Replies
    1. I don’t think he *gave* the door the finger, more like the door decided to *take* it. Ow!

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  5. Oooo!!! Hand injuries HURT!! Broke my right one once. Even though I am left handed, I was amazed at how often I used my right hand. So, pain meds, ice on for 30 minutes, off for an hour or so and elevation of the hand AT ALL TIMES is your friend!!! But, if you are doing pain meds (like anything stronger than Tylenol or Ibuprofen) non-alcoholic libations ONLY!!! And watch for the signs of infection...swelling, increased pain, redness (think really dark pink Hi-lighter red) and get your follow up appointment set up...call tomorrow for when ever they told you to follow up as doctors think they are people too and can take time off. You did read your ER discharge instructions, right?!?!!! Keep it dry!! Press and Seal by Handiwrap is your friend. Apply to the hand, liberally, and THEN tape the edges to your wrist. Do NOT get wet!!!!

    And I agree, based on the picture...I would have wrapped that ALL different. But could be they were trying to slow down the bleeding?? Gonna be a long 4-6 weeks of healing. And don't you type on a keyboard for real, paid work?? Didja think to get a out-of-work note? Cause not thinking you are going to want to hunt and peck type for as long as this will take to heal...just saying...

    One tip on the elevation...you will find yourself doing the "Queen wave" naturally as it will hurt less...but also, get a medium size couch pillow, turn it so instead of square under your hand it is diamond shaped under your hand, put the corner so your hand kinda naturally grabs it, and the rest goes under your forearm. You want the elbow to be lower than the hand. Have the Missus put a hand towel over the back of the hand and place a ziplock bag full of ice cubes on top of that. At least the remote control can be worked one handed!!


    All kidding aside Sarge~~feel better!!!

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  6. Ouch! Lost the last joint of the same finger a few years back (lawnmower). Ended up at Bethesda--wherein the Reserve on ACTDU happened to be an orthopedic surgeon. Had a big fly swatter built in for a while!! Get well!

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  7. Ah, poor you, Sarge. My owie story happened 5 weeks ago when I was weeding a bit too vigorously, it seems. The first joint of my right index finger swelled up like a balloon! It kept me off my blog for awhile too. Still hurts. I found that holding my hand up in the air a lot helped with the pain.

    Sure hope you finger heals fast, Sarge!

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  8. YOWSER! [Scribble note to self- Don't do THAT!]
    I don't feel your pain and for darn sure don't want to!

    Best wishes for a speedy and minimal pain recovery. TV is your friend and a good sedative for the next week or so until you can move more. Don;t be bashful about taking sick days from work, you are truly injured and unable to work. They usually pay folks in that situation, so demand your share of whatever you are entitled to.

    We all will be back when you get back here.
    OUCH!!
    John Blackshoe

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  9. Well shucky darn! Here is to quick no complications healing.

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  10. Hey AFSarge;

    *Ouch*...dang, when you go for broke, you really go for broke....sheesh. Hope you get to feeling better, then we will mention "Kitchen door" to you after you are well, LOL

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  11. Well. That truly sucketh. Here's to your speedy recovery. Hope your medical relief is at least 90 proof. Happy Independence Day anyway.

    I can only say that my left hand has the scars because I am right handed. Left hand holds the nail, right hand holds the hammer. Commo section up top of questionable competence.

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  12. Regarding the wedding ring. Wait one month after all the swelling is gone and then get your finger measured and the ring resized. Shouldn't cost more than $100 or so from a competent jeweler. Check out a non-chain jeweler for best service.

    My wedding ring was sized to me when I was 180lbs. Needless to say, when I expanded, the ring got small enough that there was no way it would come off. And it was getting to the point where it was getting dangerously tight. So off to Brittany's Fine Jewelry (subtle plug for good people in Gainesville, FL, as bad as I talk about this place there are still some serious gems around) wherein the counterman brought out a little hand-powered wheel saw thingy and ring was off in 10 minutes. And I had to wait for a month for all the swelling (ahem) to equalize...

    As to local doc-in-the-box, yikes, a manual cutter is standard. Heck, our EMT units have them in their crash boxes. What boundless stupidity abounds up there? Find better med services.

    Even worse, not to know what hospital provides and most especially does not provides what services is practically criminal. I would, once you feel better, write a sternly worded message to the clinic's management, with said suggestion as to ring removers (since finger injuries are quite common) and knowledge of what services are provided where. (Such a list would be 10 minutes of my time on the internet, which would be most likely a 3 day affair by most other staff assistants/clerical people. Yes, I am that quick at weird tasks...)

    My own finger injuries include . . . wait, something to write about.... heh...

    Get better quickly, and ..

    Happy 4th all y'all Chanters out there!!!

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  13. This is no sh@t. The very first thing I did when I moved into my girl friends house was take the kitchen door and toss it out. It was a swing door. Nope, not going to have one of those in my house. No way! Them other doors? Well, the one out of the kitchen to the basement and alt backdoor is held open always by baggies of bags because the cats must visit the basement to, you know. and the other alt back door, I never close, Wife does, not me. The one out from the mud porch, I leave open for about 8 months, because, dangerous. I close it very carefully in the winter we all know now that my 30 years living in the desert has come to its end.

    My fingers got closed in car doors 2 times while I was young and my sister was bigger than me. Last time was about 53 years ago. Not going to happen again.

    In Huntsville, AL, the Army doc removed my nail with a paperclip and a butane lighter. Let's not get into details. No pliers were involved.

    There! I hope you feel better and trust me, it's the throb of your very own heartbeat that hurts the worst.

    Ask me how I know.

    Gout.

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  14. Well...Sorry to hear about your misfortune, Boss. Been there, done that while in College. Went to the Campus clinic immediately thereafter. Young nurse on duty thought I had a chest wound. (No shirt...Lubbock in the early fall, hand clutched above my heart as I made my way there.) An attendant picks me up puts me on a gurney and wheels me into the treatment room. My arm falls off the far side of the cart as he begins cleaning off my chest. Asks me where I got hurt. I reach over and grab my arm and fling it, and blood, all across the room. He cleans that up, puts on a bandaid on each of the two fingernail-less fingers and sends me on my way. That night, my roommate comes in the room and glances at me as I lay sleeping. The Godfather movie with the horse's head scene had just come out. He kinda freaked as, evidently, I put that scene to shame. He runs me out to Reese AFB Hospital. I get treated by an actual doctor at the time.
    Yes, I know how bad the fingernail thing is and feel sympathy for you. I do. However, cleaning the quicks and sanitizing them after the fact hurts a lot worse. ISYN!
    Get well soon my friend. We got your back.

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  15. Everybody thinks, "OK, he injured himself. Really must hurt. Sorry. Oh, let me tell the group how I had a deep hangnail once." Today's reading was not quite as bad as listening to all the ladies talk about their delivery experiences (and I don't mean UPS), or even, sad to say, their chemo experiences. Had Miss Jeanie scared completely before her first treatment. Now that it is over, she realizes that it's bad, oh yeah, but not that bad. Another one Monday.
    Oh and you'll want to know that I pulled my thumbnail out with an electric drill once whilst working on an older MGA. The worst part was the cleaning and tetanus shots.
    Goodness, has EVERYONE done that here?

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  16. OH MY GOODNESS! May your recovery be as painless as possible. Also as rapid as possible.

    I won't thank you for this post, as I wish you had not had to make it.

    Paul

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  17. Keep a stiff, upper middle finger and display it to those who you decide deserve it. No sense wasting an injury of that quality. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

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    Replies
    1. Maybe he can get a tiny American Flag and put it ....

      Nah...

      Yeah...

      Nahhhh....

      Delete
    2. Beans. The flag would look great, but that increases the risk of stressing the injury.
      Maybe this would be better.
      https://www.amazon.com/Flag-United-Stickers-American-Sticker/dp/B07JGZYW2F/ref=sr_1_22?keywords=flag+sticker&qid=1562322825&s=hpc&sr=1-22
      These are Air Force stickers.
      https://www.amazon.com/Packs-Flag-Stickers-Sticker-Decals/dp/B07JFMBM21/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=air+force+small+sticker&qid=1562322709&s=hpc&sr=1-5
      And thinking further down the road when the big and bulky dressing is removed.
      https://www.amazon.com/BandAid-Brand-Adhesive-Bandages-Decorated/dp/B005C4WRS2/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=hello+kitty+sticker&qid=1562322932&s=hpc&sr=1-6



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  18. Oof. And that's an unfortunate finger to have jacked up ...

    Of course these days with Self Driving cars you don't always know who to give the finger to.

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