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Praetorium Honoris
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Sunday, September 1, 2019
Clothes Make the Man?
As the nuptials of The Nuke and Tuttle approach, a decree came down from on high that Your Humble Scribe, not having sufficient decorative apparel for such an occasion, must be taken forth and directed to acquire sufficient habillement for the occasion of his daughter's wedding.
As much as the Sarge would like to wear his old uniform to the affair, after all Tuttle will be in uniform, perhaps even mess dress, it seems that the bloody thing has shrunk since it was last worn in 2006, upon the occasion of The WSO's commissioning into the United States Navy. I guess thirteen years hanging in the closet has had a deleterious effect on the material.
Damned the bad luck.
Without the benefit of uniform to fall back upon, it must needs be desirable for the Sarge (that's right, moi) to obtain an actual suit. The Missus Herself declared that the standard outfit of navy sport coat and khaki trousers were insufficient for the solemn duty of "giving my daughter away." An ancient custom I'm sure, I have done it once before when The WSO got hitched to Big Time some nine years ago. (For that occasion blazer and khakis were "fine" as the wedding was at a golf course and a number of naval aviators would be in attendance. Surprisingly they didn't wear their flight suits, though I'm sure they wanted to.)
As to the "giving away" bit, apparently The Nuke decreed that she desired both parents to walk her down the aisle and toss the reins over to Tuttle at the end of that walk. Hhmm, looking at that last sentence, I can see why The Nuke wants Mumsie on hand to control the baser instincts of her pater familias. After all The Nuke was in attendance at her baby sister's wedding and perhaps recalled her father asking The WSO, in a faux-Asian accent, "Where is your farm?" Causing The WSO to nearly lose it, it was quite a struggle for her not to laugh and to give the appropriate reply. If you have ever seen (and remember) the film Tropic Thunder, you might know what I'm talking about.
I may have also threatened Big Time with serious bodily harm should he ever harm my daughter in any way, shape, or form. Which occasioned an odd look from the justice of the peace presiding, and a slight chortle from the bride.
Anyhoo, I digress.
Now I have never owned an expensive pair of shoes before, those shoes in the opening photo (being representative of one of the two pair I purchased on Friday last) meet the classification of "expensive" in my book, your mileage might vary. One pair is in black (to honor the SWOs out there, and black goes with anything), the other being brown, as can be seen above. (Which, I am assured, will look simply marvelous with my dark blue suit.)
The black ones look just like those above only, as you may have guessed, are in black leather. Most comfy are these shoes and, truth be told, I was in need of a pair of shoes that would actually look out of place on the sideline of a sporting event. My all-round, go to shoes for the past twenty something years look, to me, rather like coach's shoes. They are comfortable and you can run in them. Can't do that in those pictured above. Well, you could but I suppose it would ruin 'em.
So shoes were purchased, as were shirts, ties, and suits, two suits to be precise, one in black, one in blue. 'Tis only the second and third suits I have owned where the jacket and pants were made of the same material. I had a lovely dark charcoal pin-striped suit some years back, but I was a smoker back then and a stray ember burned a small hole in the pants at some semi-formal affair I attended back then.
Bloody things also shrunk in the closet. (Mayhaps I should look into lining my closets with some anti-shrink substance, do they make such a thing?)
At any rate, Your Humble Scribe shall be suitably caparisoned when the wedding occurs. I also have a "back up suit" as well (buy one get one free sort of thing), so I am well-equipped for semi-formal events in the immediate future.
But the one in October is the one that matters. For this happy couple -
Lovely aren't they?
Congrats to the soon to be wed couple - great photo of them!
ReplyDeleteSeems like the current fad of pairing brown shoes with dark suits is getting out of hand. I was always instructed to wear black shoes with gray, blue or black suit or slacks, and I would have been mocked for wearing brown shoes with same. But a lot of folks these days didn't get that memo.
Fashions seem to change with each generation. Brown shoes with a blue suit seems rather a minor sin. I like the way they look.
DeleteWell I can see why the young man has a big grin on his kisser -- he has won the lottery!
DeleteBut brown shoes? Nah. I see all the Hollywood types and gangbangers wearing them now. They look ugly. I only own black shoes!
Tuttle has indeed done well.
DeleteTastes vary from time to time. Those shoes look good with my khakis.
Mess Dress.
ReplyDeleteI'd been married just over four years and the hundredth anniversary of the beginning of the Navy Chief Petty Officer rank rolled around.
I spiffed up my regular dress blues and my wife and I attended the local celebration of the occasion.
I was a very new Chief, and no, I wasn't around when the Chief's rank started.
My wife spotted the Chief's mess dress uniform and she decided that I had to get a set.
I explained the total lack of need of the uniform, I explained that I would almost never need the uniform, and I explained the fairly large cost of the uniform.
We compromised and I bought the mess dress uniform.
I've worn it twice.
I will admit that it looks really, really sharp.
Good looking couple, and a good story.
I bought mine when I made Master Sergeant, I wore it three times, I think. But dang, it looks sharp. (I have a photo somewhere...)
DeleteMess Dress is like Marine Corps Blues. You don't often need them (mess dress, blues, other fancy dancy uniforms) but when you do you do!
DeleteIn John Ringo's Looking Glass Series (this is an attempt to get Sarge off his duff and read some fiction) there are several discussions about mess dress and such like nonsense to civilians. Same in his Legacy of the Aldenata series (the party where a French General in mess dress including tophat, a Marine general, two Army generals and a Fleet Strike lieutenant was quite funny, full of that dark humor military people know about and joke about.) So read the darned books already!!!! Maybe a change of pace in your reading selections will inspire you or at least knock you out of you rut.
I am in no rut, just busy with other things. As for Mr. Ringo, some day, some day.
DeleteYou've been saying that since even before I started commenting here. His works read like Horatio Hornblower, Captain America, Ironman, Xerxes all got reincarnated in the same body and someone started writing down the new hero's travails.
DeleteIf you need some lighhearted (to a point, dark humor mostly) reading with a strong military slant, do some Ringo. Or David Drake (the first author to realistically portray milscifi, plus he bases a lot of his stories on ancient stories.) Or Tom Kratman if you want to read some ball-busting overly macho milscifi that is also good at the same time.
As my beautiful wife, Mrs. Andrew, says all to often, "Some day, you always say some day..."
Books are available on line or in hard print. Get some. Read some. Do it.
Not for a few months at any rate.
DeleteApparently, that shrinkage issue applies to most uniforms. I know it does for a fact to my flight suits, flight jacket, Blues, Class C's as well, of course to my mess dress. That having been said, I'm not quite willing to toss them out of my closet. Best of Wishes to the Happy (and lovely) Couple.
ReplyDeleteDid you notice the USAF Memorial in the background?
DeleteNow that you mentioned it. Planned that way? As an Hommage to her paternal parent's military career, perhaps?
DeleteI think it was the venue (dining out I think) and we got lucky with the photo.
DeleteBut I'll go with un hommage, and she (and her sister) did do a couple of years of AF JROTC.
There is nothing wrong with pulling a "Big Fat Greek Wedding" on someone. "I have a g--...." Especially when you laugh and say it's a joke, then shake your head... And the best threats are delivered right up close, sotto voice. Being a variable isn't always bad.... ;)
ReplyDeleteI gave my daughter away wearing my black frock coat, and black western boots. I did go with black suit pants and a white shirt that time. But most of the others were new, pressed jeans, white shirt,(and maybe some sporting hardware, depending on the venue). The old coat is 100% wool and it doesn't fit anymore. I'm still looking for another that is as nice as that one. (I dropped quite a bit of weight.... from my chest onto my belly!!)
They do make a nice couple, and your daughter is striking. It is amazing to watch them go from little kids to elegant ladies. Quite a transition. Well done, Sarge and Missus.
Gravity is a harsh mistress.
DeleteGravity sucks.
DeleteIn many cases yes, keeping me attached to the planet, no. A mixed bag at best.
Deletehttps://youtu.be/YXpPWwgATAg
ReplyDeleteHahaha!
DeletePrecisely.
Oh how all together lovely!
ReplyDelete😊
DeleteLovely couple.
ReplyDeleteWhen I married 50 years ago, I bought two suits of the same fabric. One suit for a coat that fit and one for trousers that fit. Size 52 coat, size 34 waist plus a trip to the tailor to taper the coat. Today can buy one only off the rack at any Big and Tall shop.
To each his own. To me, brown shoes go with brown or tan pants only.
Didn't Naval aviators wear brown shoes at one time?
Naval aviators still wear brown shoes with their flight suits, the youngest made a point of getting brown flight boots when she got her wings. Irked her black shoe siblings no end.
DeleteBack in the day, all naval officers wore brown shoes with khakis, white shoes with whites and black shoes with blues. Our Marine brothers (who are actually naval officers too) wore Cordovan--just to be unique.
DeleteI did not know that.
DeleteLive and learn!
Wow, your daughter is a beauty, and her fellow isn't too shabby either. I'm sure you will look fine for the event, thanks to your missus.
ReplyDeleteAs you might guess, she takes after her mother. 😉
DeleteAnd that is a very good thing, is it not???
DeleteCongrats to the happy couple.
A very good thing!
DeleteThey are gorgeous!!! Ahem, you would appear to have BIG feet. Or is it just the perspective?
ReplyDeleteAhem, perspective.
DeleteI wear a ten and a half wide, at 5'8" maybe that's a tad large?
Keeps me grounded, Cap'n.
Bravo Zulu.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can confirm that suits shrink in the closet.
There ya go, scientific proof.
Delete😁
Such a lovely couple! I can't wait for the wedding photos! Shrinkage and shifting centers of gravity are a real issue.
ReplyDeleteShifting centers of gravity, it's a thing!
Delete'Tuttle'? Is he a submariner?
ReplyDeleteOrigin of call sign must be told, especially if it came from 'Big Time'.
Not a submariner and no it didn't come from Big Time. It's from a M*A*S*H episode:
DeleteTo explain a way of diverting camp supplies to the local orphanage, Hawkeye and Trapper invent the fictional Captain Tuttle (based on Hawkeye's imaginary friend from childhood). With Radar's help, the doctors add more layers to their creation (such as a fake personnel file), and the deception slowly grows until nearly everyone at the 4077th believes Tuttle is a real person. The situation ultimately climaxes when they obtain Tuttle's back pay - fourteen months' worth - and donate it and Tuttle's future pay to the orphanage. However, matters threaten to spiral out of control when General Clayton decides to award Tuttle a medal for his actions. Hawkeye ends the problem by faking Tuttle's death, stating that he had heroically jumped into a combat zone without his parachute, and claiming that the orphanage is the sole beneficiary of the fictional doctor's GI insurance. As the episode ends, the Swampmen joke with each other about where they got a pair of dog tags they used to authenticate Tuttle's death - from the equally fictional Major Murdock.
Captain Tuttle is a parody of Lieutenant Kijé, the subject of a novella by Soviet author Yury Tynyanov. Kijé, who existed only on paper, was supposedly a soldier in the Czar's army. As with Captain Tuttle, the paperwork edifice begins to collapse when Lieutenant Kijé must make a personal appearance. The novella was made into a film, famous for its music by Sergei Prokofiev. (Source)
How the son-in-law (select) received the call sign I have yet to learn. I'm sure it's a) embarrassing, b) funny, or c) politically incorrect, maybe even d) all of the above.
What's his specialite? Is he in supply and acquisition? Or the designated supply officer (as one of his many goat duties) for his first unit?
DeleteYou need to find out. Especially if the answer is (d).
Some day that story will be told. (When I know, you'll know.)
DeleteHad a (now ex) husband accuse me of shrinking his kaki slacks. He was tall, and it was hard to find pants long enough, so I was always VERY careful to dry his pants on the clothes line, not in the dryer...where yup, they would shorten up. However, the morning involved he was complaining that the waist had shrunk. Told him "Nope, not MY fault the waist is too tight, that would not be a washing machine issue, that would be a bee-ah issue". Sure enough, a month later, after no alcohol for a month...the pants fit again just fine. It was a miracle I'm telling ya!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the up-coming ceremony and I am sure it is reassuring to all involved that you have practiced previously!! So success is assured!!
That is a lovely picture!!!
I do like that picture.
Delete😊
Great picture of a marvelous looking couple. Hope to see a continuing stream of pix and the answer to the "tuttle" mystery. Well, maybe later. Dorian is causing all the mystery I need right now.
ReplyDeleteStay safe Dave. Praying for a high hedge of protection for those in the path!
DeleteWow, she's stunning, and he ain't no slouch. Happy for you all.
ReplyDeleteWe are most pleased.
Delete