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Praetorium Honoris

Sunday, November 17, 2019

Turnips

(Source)
I'm guessing that right about now you're shaking your head and wondering, "Just how much did Sarge have to drink last night?"

Uh no, no. It's not like that at all.

Last week I stumbled across a fellow on YouTube who was very funny. A comedian I thought that I had never seen nor heard before, a very funny guy who, unfortunately died at the age of 50, some five years ago. (Actually he made a brief appearance in the last episode of Seinfeld. He's the reason Jerry, Kramer, George, and Elaine go to jail.)

At any rate, I watched a few clips of the guy on YouTube, he's hysterical. I laughed so hard I think I hurt myself. That's when I looked him up, dead at 50 in 2014. I was kind of crushed by that. But he did leave behind a lot of good laughs.

But still, I wish he was still here.



As to turnips themselves? I think I had some once at Thanksgiving, I don't have a bad memory of eating turnips, quite unlike the dread memories I have of eating liver. I recall a vegetable with a rather odd texture which had somehow been drenched in butter. One way of masking the flavor perhaps?

Anyhoo, John Pinette, a very funny guy. Wish he was still here but time marches on. While I believe that everything happens for a reason, I don't have to like that reason.

A very pleasant Sunday to you all.




34 comments:

  1. I turnip my nose at them - much the way that I do to liver (I don't like to eat 'guts'). However, I have eaten them in the past, mainly in the UK and in Scotland where they seem to be a 'side' to many meals. Flushing them out with butter does help, but flushing them down the camode before eating may be an even better option. And when a comedian gets onto the topic as you shared, turnips get more interesting.

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    1. Nice turnip phrase there LL.

      There are foods in this world that won't go anywhere near my mouth. I've learned!

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  2. I cannot remember ever eating a turnip in any form.
    Adding butter would make them easier to slide off your plate and into the trash.

    I cannot imagine what Navy cooks would have done with canned turnips.

    I am still smiling from Mr. Pinette's description of gas warfare in a tightly closed car.

    Good post. Thanks for starting the day with a laugh.

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    1. He's awfully funny.

      Navy cooks and turnips? Gotta be a story about that somewhere out there.

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    2. Contrary to myth, Navy cooks are very good and I may have eaten turnips without every realizing what they were.

      My long time joke about serving Navy style is when you turn the serving utensil upside down and deliver the food onto the plate (or mess tray) with sufficient speed to make a splat noise.
      I recall that the Navy used either a bakelite mess tray or a stainless steel mess tray.
      I remember being in rough weather on my first can and using a piece of bread moistened with a splash of milk to glue the tray to the mess table.

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    3. I've had some pretty good food aboard a U.S. Navy ship!

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  3. Unfortunately, bandwidth is stopping my view of the video. Coincidentally, turnips were in the vegetable medley on my dinner last night, along with rutabagas, plantains and carrots. I, following the guidance of my sainted Mother, dutifully tasted all. Mysteriously, only the carrots were fully consumed ( by either Mrs J and I). Butter did not counter the taste.

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    1. Vegetable medley? Just the thought makes me queasy. But yeah, I suppose you have to try it.

      Carrots are safe, and aren't rutabagas actually a relative of turnips?

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    2. Our farm friends grew kohlrabi one year, and then they had the problem of dealing with unsold kohlrabi.

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    3. Don't think I've ever had that, not even in Germany.

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  4. Never have had turnips and don't have ANY desire to try them. Like you I discovered Pinette after his death even though I watched that last Seinfeld episode when it first aired. Thanks for the vid Sarge, can always use a few laughs regardless of the time of day. Another comedian that died too young was a guy I had the good luck to see in person, Dennis Wolfberg.

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    1. I bounced over to YouTube and caught a bit of Dennis from the Tonight Show BITD. A very funny guy.

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  5. Hey Old AfSarge;

    There is a southern delicacy called "potlikker". The poor would use cornbread to sop up the juice of the turnips after cooking. My dad still would eat it today and I asked him "why" and his response was "to remember where I came from". There is a brand of turnip/collard greens/black eye beans, called "Glory Foods". It is a southern owned company and they preseason the food and it really makes a difference.

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    1. Next time I'm in the South I'll look for that. Perhaps, like grits, we Yankees just don't know how to cook turnips.

      Besides, cornbread, love cornbread.

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    2. Potlicker from beans and ham. Potlicker from a good mess of mustard greens. Damn. Getting hungry again.

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  6. I agree that turnips are kinda 'meh', but I'll bet a lot of folks around the world would jump at the chance to eat a bunch of them. Not trying to go all SJW here, just a eeminder of how lucky we are to be Americans. And there is nothing wrong with a nice plate of good pulled pork accompanied by some greens - turnip or collard - with a healthy splash of well aged pepper vinegar. Add in some of mama's cornbread ... yummm! And before juvat objects to pulled pork, I am not suggesting it's better than classic Texas brisket from a hole in the wall BBQ joint. I really love that, too, more than good pulled pork.

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    1. Pulled pork and greens (of damned near any kind), toss in some pepper vinegar and some cornbread? That's a feast right there. Now I'm hungry!

      (And ya had to mention "Texas brisket from a hole in the wall BBQ joint," been there, had that, didn't want to leave...)

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    2. No problemo, Tom, on pulled pork. While I do love Mesquite smoked brisket. I also love pulled smoked pork. Fortunately, my favorite hole in the wall BBQ joint does both well, which usually means lunch is expensive and requires a post-prandial nap.

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    3. Heh, I know what you mean juvat!

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  7. Turnips almost led to my undoing as follows:

    Back in the engagement period, when Mrs. Andrew was Miss semi-Andrew, she and I partook of a dinner at my parent's house. We were eating my mother's vegetable and meat soup, which I had eaten all my life but never really paid much attention to the ingredients as no eggplant or green pepper was involved. Just your ordinary vegetable and meat soup, I thought. So here we are, munching away and Miss pre-Andrew quietly leans over and quietly asks me, quietly, what the white chunks that look like potato but tasted not like potato were. Me being myself and not catching the clue, said "I dunno" to Miss semi-Andrew and then out-loud to Mom, "Hey, Mom, what are the white chunks that look like potato but aren't?"

    The reply from Mom Beans was, "Turnips."

    The dagger looks from Miss semi-Beans was translated by the lizard portion of my brain as, "DEATH COMES FOR YOU!!!" which caused me to blurt a classic Beansism, "What, what did I do?"

    The education I received as to how to interpret a quiet, subtle, question or statement from the future Mrs. Andrew was, um, memorable.

    Turns out Miss pre-Andrew really didn't like turnips, and as a followup, parsnips.

    Our vegetable soup is turnip and parsnip free. Potatoes, mixed frozen veggies, tomatoes, onion, meat. No 'nips at all.

    To tell you the truth, I always wondered what that sharp taste was in my mom's soup, but was trained at an early age to eat what I was served and don't question what it was, and my parents never served 'kid food' to us kids (though I didn't and don't like eggplant, or green peppers, especially stuffed. Red peppers are good, green bad.

    Since dad didn't like organ meat, the only organ meat I ever ate as a young person was ground up in dirty rice. As an adult I only eat organ meat ground up in dirty rice or cornbread dressing. I have tried liver and kidneys, and found them to be less palatable than raw oysters, which are yet another food not meant to cross my lips. I will cook fried chicken livers for the wife. I will not eat them. And if you fry an oyster extra crispy, I will use enough ketchup to make it taste good.

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    1. I never ask what's on the plate, learned that lesson the hard way!

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  8. It is a given that there will be a diced turnip mixed in with the onions, carrots, small white potatoes, and cabbage on St. Patricks Day.
    It is also a given that it will be all that's leftover afterward.

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  9. Besides Pinette's take on turnips, go look for his Oriental Buffet routine.

    YOU HERE FOUR HOUR! YOU GO NOW!

    Truly a funny man, and sad to see him leave us so young.

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  10. My Mother (RIP), being a born Brit, served me turnips about three times a week through my entire '50's childhood. I hated every single time they were served, and I'm proud to admit that since I left home at 17 I have never eaten a turnip again. Or liver. Or kidneys.

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  11. That's a great video Sarge, thanks for sharing. I've seen the guy before but had no idea he's passed. Sad, but as you say, he left some good stuff behind.

    I rather like turnips. Perhaps it's a bit of solidarity with the mud-covered starving wretches who've survived on them down through the ages. They are a concrete biotch to prepare properly though. And improperly prepared turnips would indeed gag Gabriel.

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    1. A different look at turnips, I don't dislike them, but I don't seek them out. Hard to prepare indeed.

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  12. I love turnips (yellow turnips, or rutabagas.) However, that's one funny man right there. Sorry he's gone.

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    1. You are, I believe, the first person I've ever heard of who loves turnips. Perhaps it's the way they're prepared?

      Yeah, John was a very funny man, born and raised in Boston I believe, your neck of the woods as it were.

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  13. Getting into the fray a little late, I apologize to any who may have been waiting. I like turnips. We don't seek them out either, but if they are offered, we don't turn them down. Turnip greens - marvelous! Cooked a few days with a large, smoked ham shank.
    And that brings to mind the fact that here in Central Eastern Coastal Florida, they don't know what a ham shank is. No, really. They don't! They have hams and hocks, but no shanks. I asked a real butcher, in a butcher shop here about them and he said they never come through. I guess all the hogs are quad amputees before arriving in Volusia County. So where do you get the lovely meaty shanks you cook - to the astonishment of any butcher that might pass by? In Scotts Valley CA (just South of San José and home to many millenial millionaires). As we have done before, this Christmas season will find us at a real meat store where we'll buy six or eight large (think eight to ten inches long) smoked ham shanks. In all hoinesty, they actually come to Scotts Valley from Cincinnati. They'll be frozen and packed in our luggage so as to amuse TSA. That many will last us about a year. I have one in the freezer right now and we leave for the Socialist Coast next week. Seeing the grandkids, and oh, the kids too, will be worth the paying of five dollars for gas and turning the canned goods English side out at the supermarket.

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  14. Turnips are best in soup. And Rutabagas - sometimes called golden turnips - are also good in soup. Probably in stew as well, but I don't often make stew.

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