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Praetorium Honoris

Saturday, April 18, 2020

Woe Is Me. Kind Of.


Well after a week of staying up too late and getting up too early, it's finally Saturday. Not that I can really tell the difference anymore. In the photo above, if the laptop on the TV tray is up and running, it's a workday, if it isn't, it's a day off. The machine on the left is always up, well, it's up when I'm up.

As you can see, the morning coffee is ready for consumption, both computers are up, and the Ready Helo stands atop the desktop tower, manned and ready. (No, The Missus Herself frowns on me flying it in the house, in case you're wondering. BTW, the other day someone asked what the columnar thing near the window was. No, it's not some slender R2D2 wannabe, it's a fan. Very compact it is. Very handy to have.)

So it's Friday night as I write this, do we have big plans? Uh, no, not at all, even when we're not in Sparkling Isolation. Not to mention which it's been an odd couple of fortnights, health-wise. Now, now, dinnae panic, I've not rendezvoused with the corona, nope, it's the rhino kicking my ass. Head all plugged up, nose dripping like a faucet with a bad o-ring, sneezing like mad. No fever though, which pegs it as the one, not the other. (Also no headache, The Missus Herself tells me that I can't have a headache as I am a headache. Not really, I can be a jerk at times, which... Okay, I can be a headache, never mind.)

This one -

(Source)

Not this one -

(Source)
(If you chase the link under the beer it will lead you to an article. Apparently Grupo Modelo, the folks who brew Corona, have shut down production due to the disease, not wanting their employees to get sick, not due to the stupidity of people who think the beer and the disease are associated. Stupid people shouldn't drink anyway.)

Now the visit from the rhino is just in the past few days, the longer term medical "issue" which has been inflicting Your Humble Scribe is neither life threatening, nor particularly painful, just annoying as Hell.

Back in 2000, might have been 2001, I can't remember, I had this weird looking rash across my chest and back. Showed up all of a sudden like. I got up in the morning and there it was, it wasn't particularly itchy but it was one of those, "Hhmm, that ain't right, better get it checked out." Which I did, puzzled my doctor it did, he'd never seen the like of it (back then my doctor was male, now my doctor is female. No, he didn't have an operation, he left the practice to go elsewhere.). So it was off to the dermatologist, where they checked things out, though now it wasn't a rash, there were these unsightly lesions. So they did a core sample, no really, hurt that did. Left a mark as well, which I suppose is normal when a chunk of flesh is bored out of you!

Anyhoo, I waited a week or so then they called me for a follow-up. Many long faces in the doctor's exam room. I wondered who had died and was ready to offer condolences, then I realized the long faces were on my behalf. Hhmm, thinks I, this can't be good.

"We've got the results from your tests, we think you have anaplastic large T-cell lymphoma (ALCL)."

All I heard was "lymphoma."

A quick check of the Internet gave a prognosis of seven years. Hhmm, gives me a bit of time it does. My buddy Fred thought I was taking it rather well.

"Well Fred, we all have to die sometime. If this is how the Lord wants me to check out, well, there ya go. Better than getting hit by a bus I suppose!"

Fred and I had a chuckle, then we all went out to dinner where far too much alcohol was consumed. (Fred was my pastor, a grand fellow. I loved that guy and was crushed when he passed away, from cancer, in January of 2008. Which began the "bad stretch of years," as I recall them. Fred in 2008, my Dad in 2010, Lex in 2012, then Buck in 2014. Yes, I grew to be quite nervous of even numbered years!)

Anyhoo, the nice folks at the dermatologist sent me off to a cancer doc at Rhode Island Hospital (with my own doctor's concurrence, of course). After an examination, we chatted for a bit. I described the lesions to him and mentioned that they eventually erupted, dried up, and went away. (Ooh, that was a bit graphic, sorry...)

"They go away?"

"Yes, sometimes they leave a scar, as you can see here, but yeah, they go away."

"Uh, not sure how to say this, but ALCL lesions don't heal, or go away. Let me go check something."

He left the exam room, gotta say I was happy with the not ALCL thing, but that left me back at square one, what the Hell is this malady I have? Oh, forgot to mention, the "this isn't ALCL" thing wasn't at the first visit. That was an exam followed by an appointment for another "procedure." This one involved a bone marrow sampling. From the small of my back. Let's just say, there are certain parts of the body which can't really be numbed enough. The small of the back, well, the pelvic bone underneath that region, is one of them. Must have been nasty to watch as well, The Missus Herself wanted to be there with me (one of the many reasons I love that woman) so she was and almost passed out. Doc had her leave the room.

Yeah, that procedure sucked and it hurt, quite a bit. Not a sharp pain but a feeling of discomfort, much discomfort. Glad that was over.

Anyhoo, long story short, turns out what I actually had was called lymphomatoid papulosis (LyP), which took me years to spell correctly. I spent most of a year traveling up to Tufts Medical Center up in Boston. The doctor there (a very fine lady doctor who now teaches at Yale, last I heard, she'll produce some fine doctors, of that I'm sure) wrote me a prescription for methotrexate, I think it was 75 milligrams a week.

Eventually the lesions stopped popping up. As the doc was moving to New Haven, Connecticut, for the Yale gig, and there seemed no need to continue "shipping up to Boston," we agreed that my own doctor could keep an eye on things. (This was the lady doctor I have now, great doc BTW.) Also I was off the meth. Heh.

But...

(You had to know there was a "but" in there somewhere.)

Every now and again, when Spring has sprung and the weather begins to get nicer, I will have an outbreak of the LyP. Usually they're just wee things which resolve in a day or so. Occasionally though I will get one of the big, nasty looking ones. Said nasty looking one I indeed am dealing with right now. On my face. Yay me.

It's about ready to "crater" (as I put it), then it will be nasty for a day or so, then dry up and go away. Well, I thought the worst was past until I woke up Friday morning. As I'm making the bed, I notice something on my pillow. I put my glasses on and it looked like someone had been assassinated right there on my pillow. Blood all over. Eeww!

Seems it hasn't completely dried up, yet.

So I've got that on my plate right now. Not painful, just ugly looking and annoying. I also can't really shave either, so I look downright unkempt. Well, more so than usual.

The disease, BTW, is not contagious. It is also rather rare. Yay me.

With that and the head cold, blogging might be sparse in the next few days. Probably not, but you never know, just wanted to give you all a heads up in the event Your Humble Scribe doesn't post something one morning. I didn't die, it's just that my morale is in the toilet at the moment.

But this too shall pass.

Be well and, as the sergeant used to say on Hill Street Blues, let's be careful out there.




32 comments:

  1. What with the hubbub about the China virus I've not heard what the effectiveness of this season's flu shots are. Since I retired and stopped having the daily public contact Monday through Friday only been hit once by the flu, lucky I guess. Good location for the CP near the window neh? Hang in there Sarge, the self isolation gives you a chance to rest up, that's VIP for us old farts.

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    1. It's amazing how a bunch of minor annoyances accumulate into a pain in the, well, you-know-what.

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    2. Right before the Wu Ping Cough, Corona-Chan, Corona-Wuhan, CCP Plague, whatever, hit bigly, the info on the seasonal flu vaccine said it was moderately effective against that year's seasonal flu, some sort of normal seasonal flu bug.

      As to a minor annoyance accumulating into a pain in the... yeah, I feel your pain.

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  2. I am able to relate somewhat from that September day in 2009 when my doctor said, you have a large mass on your left kidney. A million questions went rolling through my mind all at once. When I told Missus ORPO, she responded after a bit with what do you want to do? My answer was to crawl inside a bottle of good whiskey but that wouldn't do anyone any good.
    17 days later the kidney went bye bye.....
    Take care my friend. I will say a prayer at the end of Sabbath this evening.

    PS, I miss Buck.

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    1. Thanks brother. Hard to believe Buck's been gone so long.

      I keep waiting for him to point out I have a comma in the wrong place...

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  3. It is kinda weird when timing seems to show up. My wife dreaded her birthday for several years. She kept losing good friends or family near it. Some chuckleheads at church told her to get over it. She got over them. Post haste.

    I suppose these things come to make us humble. If I had said to keep us humble, then, that wouldn't have been humble.
    I'm sure they come to show me (in particular), reliance on God is key.
    Reliance on myself yields the product of unskilled labor, at best.

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    1. I am constantly reminded of the need to be humble. Often I pay attention, if not, another smack upside the head is due!

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  4. My mom used to say, "Getting old ain't for sissies!" I now know what she means, as I'm sure many who read this blog can understand as well. Things that we'd to be easy to accomplish now take a lot of work and sometimes assistance. Ailments crop up, some go away, some stick around, waxing and waning. We start to more seriously contemplate a bucket list and how our own mortality may affect checking items off that list. And the current forced isolation doesn't help the attitude. Make sure you get outside and walk around a bit each day - that helps.
    Sorry you're having a flare up of LyP. That can't be pleasant. I've somehow managed to throw my back out to the point about the only time it doesn't hurt is when I'm in bed. And to top it off, I'm supposed to have a tooth pulled on Tuesday. Yay... So I'm also a bit melancholy right now. But things will get better for us all before too long (says the optimist in me, small as it is at times).

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    1. My inner optimist keeps pointing me to things which make my situation trivial in comparison. Doesn't make it less annoying, but it helps to keep things in perspective. Right now I'm reading Sand and Steel: The D-Day Invasion and the Liberation of France by Peter Cassick-Adams, when I get mopey I read of the young men waiting to invade Europe, for many the 6th of June 1944 would be their last day on earth. Can't mope too much, they gave all so I could enjoy freedom, minor aggravations and all.

      Good luck with the back, and the tooth thing, hope you have a good doc!

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    2. thanks, Sarge - and yes, perspective is good - it could be so much worse!

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    3. Yes, no one is shooting at me!

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  5. See, we all knew you were special, we just didn'know HOW special!!

    So far as the rhino goes, I would trade ya right now for that instead of the allergies that have been bugging me the past few days. Of all the times when I really don't want to be coughing, or with a runny nose (mild so far thank goodness), it is the itchy eyes that is the tip-off. I am blaming these silly masks that work has given me to wear these days.

    I had been wearing a duckbill as that was what the major corporation that owns our home care agency had a boat-load of, and worked ok, except the elastic was killing my ears, but I could handle that. Unfortunately, they are not re-usable, so at the end of the day, out they go. The replacement is something called a KN95--let's just say I am less than impressed, and was happy to hear the big boss say on the phone call yesterday that folks with these masks aren't going to be sent to Covid + patients homes. Of course, I'm immediately thinking it isn't the ones we know about that make me nervous, it's the one's who we DON'T know about that I worry about.

    And, like you, if there is a way to do something, or get something that no one ever heard of before, tag, I'm it.

    Some days being special is---fun. Other days---not so much. Hope your face heals up quick!!

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    1. Thanks Suz.

      Just when I'm convinced it's a head cold you mention the itchy eye thing. It might be allergies after all, something I never had as a callow youth but apparently have now! It snowed, yes snowed, last night, just a little, but it seems to have left my sinuses somewhat clear. Perhaps the snow (and some rain) has quashed the pollen.

      Be careful out there Suz! The Chant can't afford to lose its Chief Medical Officer!

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    2. I am convinced that if I should look under the dictionary entry for crazy I will find upstate NY weather listed as an example. For the past 3 days I have awoken to a lovely country Christmas scene--lightly falling snow, accumulation of an inch and a half on THursday--had to scrape the windshield!!!--2" on Friday, and almost 4" today. Every single afternoon was bright sunshine, and all evil cold white stuff had totally melted away by about 10AM.

      Don't get me wrong, I love it when Mother Nature does the shoveling--but, really??? It's the 18th of APRIL in NEW YORK--Not North Dakota or Alaska--and the Albany area not Lake Placid for crying out loud!!!!

      Thursday I walked outside, and thought someone turned the calendar back to Christmas Eve last night when I wasn't looking--it was snowing like Santa had ordered appropriate landing material for the sleigh to be delivered STAT!!!

      Don't get me wrong--I like snow--as long as I don't have to drive in it too much--in November, December, January, even February--But NOT THE MIDDLE OF APRIL!!!!! Hello!! The daffodils, crocus and hyacinths are up and blooming here!!!!

      And, yes, I am hoping the precipitation is helping to lean the pollen out of the air, but I am afraid the cold nights and warm days are just stirring everything in the atmosphere up, just to make us miserable. Sigh.

      Roger, Sarge!! Being Careful!! Washing hands, not touching face, wearing a mask.

      I leave the house to go to work, to get groceries to take to Mom and Dad, and to go to Physical Therapy cause, evidently, I am getting old (when the hell, exactly, did that happen??) and I have some severe spinal stenosis going on, for which I am willing to do the exercises 2x a day, (why isn't exercise a 4 letter word?? It IS working, but still I hate exercise!!!) but sitting is the big No-No with what I have going on, and reality is home care nurses spend LOTS of time sitting...in the car, on your living room couch, or at your kitchen table...but I am too young (and too poor) to retire yet. That's my story and I am sticking to it. Besides, I don't have a fall-back gig of writing history books...

      However, if anything should happen to me, might I recommend Shaun for CMO. I suspect he would do an outstanding job.

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    3. And he tells a mighty good story!

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    4. Suz, global warming, dontchaknow.

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    5. Yeah, we had some of that as well.

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  6. Sorry for your discomfort and what goes with it.
    Sometimes the most dangerous place we can go by ourselves is that 8 inch space between our ears.
    Periods of isolation do not help. [DAMHIK]
    2014-15 was the pits for me.
    I try to remind myself what I can be grateful for and remember whatever is bothering me will pass, one way or another.
    I’m not in charge.

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    1. I need that reminder that I'm not in charge. Thanks for that, Skip.

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  7. Seasonal allergies are the recurring pain that get me. I know it's time to overmedicate with Benadryl when I can feel my teeth moving due to my sinuses filling up and overpressurizing. Unfortunately, by the time I notice my teeth moving I've already turned into a snarly bigger anal sphincter muscle than I normally am, and Mrs. Andrew is pissed at me and preparing to beat the demons out of me, or puncture my skin repeatedly with some of her play toys (I married someone who collects small knifey things... normally it does not bother me,..) So, standard procedure is to take a handful of Benadryl, go to the bathroom, take as hot a shower as I can possibly stand, focusing heat and water pressure on my face, and snorking water, until the sinuses start to flow, then dry, clothe, crawl into bed and let the tender arms of Morpheus (not Lawrence Fishbourne, the other one, Greeky guy-ish) drag me down for a few hours. By that time Mrs. Andrew is usually over her need to practice the ancient art of flensing.

    Toss onto that the normal skeletal issues of low-grade arthritis (had since day 1, maybe day 2 or 3,) the previously mentioned interesting bowel condition (I could never have survived joining the military as there are never enough bathrooms available RIGHT NOW in tanks, apcs, ships, planes, space stations, middle of a combat exercise...,) the annoying loss of vision in my right eye along with the glaucamole, a weird host of other thingies and the fracking neuropathy from the Shingles that when it hits it feels like someone is hammering a nail into my right eyebrow while small insects or rodents are crawling and gnawing on my right forehead from underneath (only real relief is to stand under the hottest water I can possibly stand and just overload the nerves...)

    All of which make me a grumpy bear who doesn't want to be around people on a good day. Fortunately the bathroom is kinda my mancave... yay. whooooo.


    So back to you. Good thing you don't have a Carcano rifle or random people in the backseat of convertibles would be in trouble...

    You really need to get a remote-controlled tank or something and run it around your yard. Or maybe a small remote controlled boat for your non-fish pond.

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    1. It's always good to get perspective on this thing I'm dealing with, some people are much worse off.

      I like the remote controlled tank idea, with a Go-Pro mounted upon it!

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    2. Firing Nerf rounds, so you can chase your grands around in the comfort of luxury next time they come a-visiting.

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    3. First time you peg The Missus Herself, you realize all your toys will be gone...

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  8. Sorry for your discomfort, Sarge. At first, as I read the post, I thought you had the shingles. Not good. Like Beans, I attest to the crazy pain and curiously lingering nerve stuff. For my fun with Agent Orange (no, they won't pay), I get 540 Gabapentin every 90 days.. The good thing is that you get two free pint sized bottles to keep other stuff in later.
    On another subject, I just read about setting up your home office and how you should be mindful and careful of monitor placing (height, distance, etc.) and especially your chair. Even if you have a nice chair (like you seem to have) be sure get up now and then and unlock the back so you can "rock". I am trying to get my two sons to pay attention, but they're only in their fifties, so they won't listen.
    Prayers for your continued strength and a quick recovery.

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    1. I do get up and move about, more than just downstairs to the fridge. Have to go out an stretch my legs in the garden now and again.

      Thanks for the prayers Dave, I can always use those!

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  9. It's the quickening heart rate and the overwhelming feeling of dread when the doctor dons their serious face, sits down, and says, we have to talk.

    It turned out that it was the mildest form of skin cancer that exists, but as long as it had the "C" word attached to it, the panic monkey in my brain wanted out right then and there.

    I'd like a better genetic hand of cards than the one my parents dealt me, but as I look like a clone of my Dad, I'm positive I wasn't adopted.

    I think that it is particularly challenging to deal with our own problems, because it doesn't matter what the relative size of one's own problems are compared to the problems of others, our own problems are close, and because of that closeness, they loom large and block our vision. A famed philosopher said, "If you hold a problem the size of a pea next to your eye, you can see nothing but the problem."

    We don't yet have the time machine to leap ahead and find out if our problems resolved in a good way and we should not have devoted the amount of stress and worry to them that we did.

    It is a very tough mental balancing act and I have found no way to strike the middle path. The best I can do is keep the oscillations from getting bigger and bigger.

    Thinking about you.





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    1. Thanks John.

      I wouldn't want the time machine. What if it's bad news? I prefer the suspense. Kind of.

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    2. John, I get what you mean by the genetics thing. I think I was assembled from all the left-overs from my siblings. They, well the boys, are all macho outdoorsy athletic stuff who can do all sorts of masculine things. Me? Allergic to green, get sunburned on a cloudy day, have the digestive system of a 100 year old man, and so forth.

      The only good thing is my body shape takes after my maternal grandmother's father's body type. Of which he lived to around 95, grandmother lived to around 95, my mom is still kicking strong, so I am going to be a fat, unhealthy 95 year-old who will suddenly die of some mysterious illness.

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  10. Sorry to hear you're temporarily ugly! (I gotta kid you ya know?) Glad it wasn't the ALCS, but I'm more of a National League fan. This has obviously (and understandably) been an untold story until now, but thank you for sharing nevertheless, even the gory admission. Had to chuckle at the murder scene image! Good time to have a command performance of LyP though, seeing how we're all hiding away and wearing masks otherwise. Just imagine you're a teenager again and it's just bad acne!

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    1. It does rather feel like that!

      (Heh, ALCS, I like it!)

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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