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Praetorium Honoris

Sunday, August 22, 2021

So How Bad Was the Traffic?

Vehicles from 7. Panzerdivision, France 1940
Bundesarchiv

We had originally planned to head back north on Thursday last, but...

The Nuke was on travel and Tuttle was working from home, hard to do with a one-year old inquisitive toddler running rampant through the household. As Tuttle had a rather important meeting to call into, The Nuke asked us to reconsider our travel plans.

So we did, leaving Friday morning instead of Thursday.

Not a real big problem except for the rain.

At 0400 it was drumming on the roof hard enough to nearly drown out the sound of the air conditioner (central air for those who want to know such things). How did I know what it sounded like at 0400? Don't ask, it's an "old guy thing." Those who know, well, they know. Those that don't, just wait, you'll get there someday.

Anyhoo.

When it came time to pack up the vehicle, the rain had stopped. Except for the mass quantities of moisture dripping from the numerous trees in the neighborhood, that was enough to sound like rain without actually being rain.

Car was loaded, farewells were said and off to the highways we went for the trip north.

I had thought to switch from the New Jersey Turnpike to the Garden State Parkway in the vicinity of Woodbridge Township in the Garden State. That way I could avoid the mob scene in the vicinity of the George Washington Bridge.

Now Google will let you plot a route, then email it to one's self (like via one's cell phone). If you open the email, you can see a choice to "Open in Google Maps." Which works, more or less. But then try to use that route via the phone to vehicle hookup.

Yup, fails every time. Effing Google always seems to ask "What route?"

So went back to Waze and rolled the dice. (And yes, since Google bought out Waze, the latter app had gotten worse. No more, "take this route because there's an accident ahead." Now it's "Take this route." No reason, just trust me. No thanks.)

Now the traffic wasn't all that bad, until we got to Connecticut, where if someone taps his brakes, so will everyone else, making traffic stop and start to the tune of "We're all going 75, okay now we're all going 10, then speed back up again."

As an experiment, I tapped my brakes at one point, nearly everyone behind me immediately slowed down, even though the car behind me was a good 100 yards distant. Something in the brain I suppose makes people react to the flash of brake lights.

Not a bad thing mind you, but if there is no reason to slow down, sometimes merely lifting one's foot off the accelerator is sufficient to arrest the vehicle's forward momentum to maintain spacing in traffic. However, it seems my countrymen are incapable of such reasoning.

So there was a lot of stop and go throughout the Constitution State. Let's leave it at that. Oh, one last thing, Tesla drivers are assholes. At least every single one I saw on Friday. Not sure why, perhaps because they think they are "saving the planet" with their electronic cars. (I'm sure the child laborers in Africa mining all that lithium would beg to differ.)

But I digress.

I should mention the beginning of the trip and the rain. Lots of vehicles on the road, lots of mist being thrown in the air. Trucks are the worst, all those tires. You couldn't actually see the trucks but you could see the moving cloud of mist which contained a truck at its core. Very scary. The first 100 miles was nerve racking to say the least.

New Jersey was, well, it was New Jersey. People weaving in and out of traffic at insane rates of speed. I'm used to it. But it always amazes me at the people who seem to have no concept of the safe operation of a motor vehicle. God truly does watch over fools and drunkards. (Sometimes one and the same.)

But hey, we made it home, in less than record time to be sure. But in one piece and with most of my sanity intact.

As for the GW Bridge and the Cross Bronx Expressway? Piece of cake heading north. But I observed the southbound traffic and I have to say, I pitied those folks, I'm sure some of them are still out there. That was me the week before. Two hours to get from the outskirts of NYC to the New Jersey Palisades. Going north? Maybe a half hour.

Dang. Well it's over, until I do it again of course.

Sigh...



48 comments:

  1. We left Ocean City NJ for the trip home to Philly around noon on Friday.
    It might be that we were not very far apart for a little bit of time.

    Did the Teslas have a bumper sticker saying, "My other car is a BMW?"

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    1. No, which is a bit of a surprise.

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    2. Back in 2016, saw a Tesla with a "Bernie" sticker. The mind doth boggled. And I hope karma did bite them and they got redistributed. Well, kinda hoped... F'n college perfessors!

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  2. Made it safe and sound, excellent news Sarge! Around here it seems the majority of EV drivers never learned the rules of the Road nor do I wish to pilot a vehicle that can burn so furiously that the fire department will have a difficult time extinguishing it. You need to mark each run on Old Blue, kinda like the bomber crews did back in WWII.....but what symbol to use?

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    1. That would be cool, perhaps a burning Tesla?

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    2. "Burn so furiously that the Fire Department has to let the fire burn itself out." There, I fixed it for you. Once lithium batteries start cooking, short of the heat death of the Universe, they cook till out of fuel.

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  3. Glad you made it home safe and sound, Sarge. Also glad you got to spend time with the kids.

    As to, the flashing tail lights, I've noticed the same thing down here in the middle of nowhere. I've started disconnecting the cruise control via the button on the steering wheel rather than cause a pileup a mile or so behind me.

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  4. My favorite is the person that needs 100 yards of space in front during a slow down. I get one of those in front of me more times than not. I cannot figure that out. Second favorite is the one that suddenly finds their gas pedal when I''m passing. Times I wish I had nerf bars... Or maybe I should just hang used tires all around my truck like a tug boat. "They call 'em fenders for a reason, Cow Patty!"

    Too many hoomans up your part of the country Sarge, too many in mine now as well.... I may have to move farther west.... Like Alpine or Marathon....

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    1. Mindless drones for the most part.

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    2. My favorite is the numbnut who needs two car lengths in front while waiting at a stoplight, particularly when they’re blocking entry to a left turn lane when I want to turn left, and the left turn arrow is green.

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    3. It is why I scoped out the least crazy routes and alternate shunts when I moved to the Apartment of Dooooom. And, well, don't get on the streets between 3 and 4pm, as that's when the hospitals and the last afternoon classes at der Universidad de Beijing in Gainesville lets out.

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  5. MB and I completed a long commute, with a side trip or so, to near Toledo, OH.
    Saw any number of Teslas (Teslae?). Their drivers have some catching up if they’re gonna equal the @$$#0|ism of the Beamer Bunch. Then there’s the Prius crowd.
    Considering what we left weather wise, I would consider trading places. We saw the last of the smoke somewhere between Salt Lake City and Denver.
    I don’t miss urban freeway driving. We purposely avoid I-80 whenever possible because so many other drivers forget they’re not alone.

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  6. Ah, electric vehicles. How... wonderful. And, of course, the Vacant Brained One at 1600 Penn Ave has decreed that all fedgov vehicles be electric.

    How very special. Lessee, we have a power grid that can't handle the additional strain, we have streets that aren't receiving any tax money from electric vehicles, and we have people that think the 'self driving' feature means they can crawl into the back seat and take a nap.

    Argh.

    I miss mean tweets.

    Now, my situation is perfect for an EV. Short distant trips, lots of start-stop traffic, but... Florida requires Air Conditioning, I require a mini-van, and I don't have the amp-ratings on my electric panel at the Apartment of Doooooooom (if LL can have a neat named place, so can I) can't handle the load.

    Plus, well, I don't have the money for an EV. Or to replace the EV when the batteries go Tango Uniform. Or, well, considering my ability to destroy electric objects...

    As to driving in near-whiteout conditions during rainstorms, I live in Florida. We can handle it. It's the idiots from out of state that can't. Worse are the ChiComs... seriously, the mainland Chinese, you see one on the road and you need to get off.

    Glad you and yours made it home. Did the cat do okay?

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    1. She was glad to see us, always makes me feel good.

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    2. I'm glad Anya's ok. I know you were worried.

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    3. She's happy that her human staff is back onsite!

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  7. As long as we are airing gripes, how about the moron who sees you pulling out of a side street and guns it so you can't make it.

    Last year during the "shutdown" my Niece had a series of Doctor's appointments on Friday. I was working from home at the time and would go over to babysit her youngest daughter (6 mos.). Friday mornings we had a video conference meeting for Engineering. My Great Niece insisted on sitting on my lap while I was working. I entered the meeting and my Boss said "Jim who is that?". I said that was our 2044 Mechanical Engineer draft pick. Once she realized that they were talking about her she perked up and tried to answer back. We did this for a few weeks. Last Friday I was working from home and they came over, so I had her on my lap for the meeting.(now 19 mos.) Everybody said hello and she answered "Hello". Cracked the group up.

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  8. I read - and then I re-read that section about your experiment: having grown up on the outskirts, I learned many years ago that when driving in our great mētropolēs, the driver who applies their brakes usually does so about 10-15 seconds too late (which is one - only one, mind you) of the reasons for the numerous fender-benders in high traffic density areas.
    So when I see someone's red lights go on (preferably 4-5 vehicles ahead of me), my foot immediately starts dancing on that big pedal just to the left of the accelerator and checking in all three rearview mirrors for my escape route.

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  9. What boron said...and THAT would be why I am one of those drivers who have a nice big space in front of me so that when I go from 75 to 10 I don't smack into the moron up ahead who's tapping the brakes, or by the idjiot from behind who is waaaay to close for anyone to whom I am NOT legally attached to. Besides, when I get hit from behind, whiplash not only hurts, it trips off the fibromyalga and major back spasms for the next month.

    When I went through driver's ed (yes, Old NFO was a teenager, dinosaurs were wondering around, and George Washington was president) we were taught to leave a "car length" for each 10mph you were going of space between you and the next car.

    Guess now that there are more air bags in cars, folks don't learn that any more.

    My biggest bitch are the folks who own cars where the turn signals were obviously very expensive options on...

    Or folks who drive in the left lane...All The Time...at 10 mph UNDER the speed limit...who don't get the firetruck over when someone comes up behind them...on days when I am really running late to my next patient's house. Move, Lead, or GET OUTTA THE WAY!!!!

    Glad you had quality grandkiddo time, and made it back safely to your kitty. Hopefully you don't get blown off or washed away from RI with Henri. Be safe sir!!!

    And, we understand if the power goes out and there is no post on Tuesday from you...just be sure to do the AAR... ;)

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    1. Henri stiffed us and went to Connecticut.

      The spacing between vehicles based on speed was drummed into me as a lad, had protected me many time since.

      Ah yes, the left lane riders, ee-jits.

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    2. I'm with you on the car lengths. The Smith Method dictates four car lengths per 10 mph at speed. That's very comfortable. My gripe is when it's 5 to 10 mph in heavy traffic, and the loon has a football field in front of them. Then Seventy-Eleven cars move over, and they have to pound the brakes to get another touchdown between them and the new lane owners.... And I agree, if you can't do the limit, scoot one lane right, if you have a following, do it again, until you are on a road where you can keep up with traffic. Minor gripes that cause my hair to catch fire. I'd like to have a brick with the Texas highway sign on it: "Left lane for passing only!" The other side would have "Drive Friendly, the Texas Way!" :D

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    3. The problem, STxAR, with maintaining that distance is when the dope in front of you isn't maintaining a set speed. They're constantly accelerating and decelerating. They accelerate and open the distance, so you accelerate to not get more than you need, then they decelerate and you close the gap and slow down even more to open up the gap again. Rinse and repeat numerous times. Oh, and added bonus, they never actually get to the speed limit or the speed of traffic around them.

      That having been said, I think your brick idea is pure genius.

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    4. The only way to make the four car lengths work is to drive slower than the prevailing traffic. At least, that's the only way following distance takes care of itself. But I've had to dodge past the right shoulder to avoid "Westheimer Syndrome".

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    5. In other words, make yourself hated. There's no way that four car lengths would work on the East Coast.

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  10. (Don McCollor)...Then there is avoiding the problem. One of first trips at work. Travel said I would fly into Pittsburg, get a rental car. Drive an unfamiliar car at night in rain on heavy trafficked winding roads through mountains with no idea where I was going. Any plane to there? Just a little Commuter. Get me on it or I don't go. Nice flight, and and easy taxi rides...

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    1. Now that "get a rental car" sounded like a bad idea from the git-go!

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  11. Glad you are home Sarge. That sounds like an appalling drive.

    The older I get, the less and less I find I enjoy driving in traffic such as you describe. People have really become much poorer drivers over the last twenty years.

    And especially glad Anya is okay.

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  12. Sarge- Hope the Hurrycane turned out to be but a minor inconvenience in honor of your return to do any necessary clean up.
    John Blackshoe

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  13. Out here in Northern California there is a lot of highway reconditioning and lanes blocked off. A few months ago taking my sister to the airport I’m on the on ramp and managed to hit a traffic cone. Concrete temporary barrier to the right and traffic to the left; no place to go.

    Hit the traffic cone and since the bumper was so close to the ground managed to split it and knock out lights on the inside.

    $1800 damage which I decided just to pay out of my own pocket rather than deal with $1000 deductible and all that nonsense.

    Today I am in the middle lane with a semi to the right of me and his lane has got traffic cones Narrowing the lane and eventually closing it.

    He has to go into my lane with me in it or not. Cars to the left of me. Gunning it was is the only way out. That’s known as the get the hell out of Dodge move.

    It’s really nuts out here.

    Not uncommon to see people coming up behind you at 100+ miles an hour, going around you just so they can slow down and be 100 yards ahead of you.

    I don’t know whether it’s COVID-19 and the shut ins that made people crazy or the relative lack of highway patrol.

    Driving on our highways these days isn’t even pleasant; it is an ordeal.

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    1. People went a whole year without driving, then they jumped right back in. That's my theory anyway.

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  14. You need to go on more road trips, these recaps are pretty entertaining!

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