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Praetorium Honoris

Monday, March 21, 2022

A Whine about wine (again)

Had a bit of bad news a couple of days ago.  The son of our winemaker friends passed away unexpectedly.  The memorial service is this afternoon (Sunday) and we'll be attending.  As a memory of happier times, you get a rerun of a post from 2014 describing our trip with our friends to France.  See you next week.

So, there I was....* Retired from the Air Force almost 10 years, working in a school district now providing IT support after teaching a bit.  (Update) 
Retired from the Air Force almost 24 years, retired from the local school district for 3 years now after 21 years providing IT support and teaching a bit. Owned and profitably sold two wine related retail businesses which introduced me to some fine friends, two of whom own one of the finest wineries in Texas.  In fact their 2006 Syrah was rated as one of 12 Excellent wines in the United States. We enjoy wine, so having friends in the industry has its perks.

A few years ago, we decided to vacation together.  For various reasons, November has worked for our busy schedules.  Their harvest is over and the hectic activities in the crush have slowed down.  School has started and we've gone through a couple of grading cycles so except for the occasional paper jam, most of the teacher technological panic attacks have slowed way down. So, November it is.

Destination--France.  Unlike Sarge, I've never been assigned to Europe and but thanks to a few TDYs, have been able to visit a bit.  Enough to want to go back. Paris, the City of Lights will be our base camp with day trips to various areas of interest around the country.

Vacation has arrived and we have arrived at CDG, transitioned to the train, then to the subway and have arrived at our hotel near the Ecole Militaire.  Check in was mercifully quick and we head to the elevator to go to our rooms.  The elevator was quaint.  You had a choice.  Either you, or your bags, could use the elevator, not both.  I go up.  Mrs. Juvat loads bags from below, then joins me.  "You Americans! This is not a bug, but a feature!"

Knowing that jet lag is minimized by staying awake until bed time in the new time zone, we go walking about.  

Given that this was the view from our hotel room, we decide on where we are going.



We spend the next couple of days exploring Paris with all the usual suspects.

We see some pretty ladies.

Go to Church.

Drink some wine.
For some reason, this resonates with my twisted sense of humor.




Spend a lot of time consulting maps.




Even ask for directions.  This fellow was helpful.

We did not get lost. I've never been "lost", that position where you don't know where you are, nor how to get where your going, or even how to figure out where you are.  Nope never!

A low level fly by of a ROKAF runway was simply a matter of practicing airfield attack tactics.  Their calls on Guard questioning my identity simply confirm the effectiveness of my tactics.
Gratuitous Airplane Shot
Source RCGroups.com
I digress.  We have successfully navigated in a very large city.  It is time to expand our horizons.  We decide to visit Reims.  As I said earlier, having wine makers as friends has it's perks.  We are going to get a private tour of Veuve Clicqout
Not usually a fan of Champagne, but this was excellent.
I wonder if they'd miss just one.
Successfully returned to our hotel, we plan the next day trip,  I'd always heard about the beaches in France, so we decide to visit one.


This beach is named for a town in Nebraska. Big Red One visited here. Quite a few decided to stay.


Returned from that trip, sobered, but emboldened of our navigational abilities, we decide we want to sample wine from the Loire Valley. We take a train to the town of Tours because that's what we want to do.( I know, "try the veal, I'll be here all week.")

Rent a car and drive to Chinon,  a French Castle astride the Vienne River near Anjou.


With drawbridges on either end, the castle has instant moat protection from an attack.  It was interesting, the gardens are beautiful, but it's time to find wine!  The castle gift shop has a map purporting to have all the local wineries on it.  I purchase it and we hop in the car and are off. The ladies are in the back seat and as good back seaters they have assumed the navigational responsibilities.  We get back on the road and they tell me to start looking for a major highway which we will cross.  We find it and do.  A defined starting point.  They tell me to drive for about 10km when we will come to a village.  We do.  "Take a right, 10 km to next village".  "Take a left".  "We should be coming into village named  xxx".  I can't find anything that says what village we're in at all.  Continue on in this manner for a while and finally come into a village on a river.  It's about lunch time, and we spy an Auberge.

We decide we'll stop and get lunch and ask directions while we're there.

We walk in the front door and are greeted, in French, by the Maitre D', the waiter, the proprietor, cook and busboy.

He speaks no English.  There are several, male patrons in the Auberge, one of whom comes up to us and says "I speak English!". Great,  I ask him if the restaurant is open and could we get lunch.  He says "I speak English! Your wife is sexy!"  Well, I think so, but....Those phrases seems to be his version of my fluency in 22 languages (the ability to order a beer and find a restroom, neither of which I particularly need at this time).

I pantomime an eating gesture and the Maitre D', the waiter, the proprietor, cook and busboy takes us to a table.  A couple of minutes later, he brings out a terrine of something and cuts off a slice, placing it on my plate.  Points at it and pantomimes eating.  Now, I've eaten balut and lived to tell about it, I'm not intimidated.  I cut a piece of what is probably the innards of some long dead animal and commence to chow down.  The bar erupts in cheers and clapping.  Having passed whatever test was presented to us, we are now old friends,  Wine is poured, food is served and lunch goes on for quite a while.  At some time, I approach my new friend, (the all in one Maitre D'...) with my map and explain our situation.  With the wine consumed at lunch, my friend's English and my French are improving rapidly, or maybe it was the pointing at the map and scrunching my shoulders while lifting my hands.  In any case, We've communicated and he starts unfolding the map from where I had opened it to our supposed location. And unfolds, and unfolds, and unfolds.  Evidently, we are about 30 miles from where we thought we were.

I point to where we think we are, and he shakes his head and points at the location on the map.  I look at him quizzically and he responds "Le Carte es Merde!" (Google translate does a reasonable job on the statement.) 

I point to one of the bottles of wine we'd consumed and then pointed at the map with my patented "Where the hell are we?" gesture, and he points out where the winery is and the route necessary to arrive there.  We pay our bill, thank him profusely and get back in the car. Crank it up and promptly turn the wrong way.

I don't get very far when I realize my error and turn around.  Drive past the Auberge and the clientele is outside, bent over in laughter!
My friend the English speaker on the right


We manage to find the winery and taste some very fine Vouvray.




I am certain that should we find our way back to that Auberge, they will still be talking about the Americans that came to visit.

*As Buck was wont to say, "Everybody knows this Juvat, get on with it!" Therefore, I will.

20 comments:

  1. France was glorious! Perhaps the areas not in Paris are still pieces of Heaven but Paris is gone - lost to the invasion. We were stationed off and on in Italy for 10 years and made it to Paris for Thanksgiving, quite an experience for two goobers.

    J'adore Paris mais malheureusement, il est parti.

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    1. BtH,
      I agree, it was glorious, and I'm not a fan of big cities anywhere. Paris itself was Big City-ish, but the sites in it were uniquely great.

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  2. Ah, sorry to hear about the loss of your friend's son. Post gives me a chance to read something I haven't read before.

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    1. Thanks, Did get a chance to talk at length with the son of the deceased. He's a drone pilot in the Army and currently TDY in Poland. Very interesting conversation.

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  3. Shakes me to the core every time I see Omaha Beach.

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    1. Me too. Even looking at those pictures again still brought chills.

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  4. Condolences for the loss of your friend's son. It has been a rough week in that regard.

    We went on a whirlwind sort of tour in 2000 and mostly saw Paris. I would like to go back.

    Thank you for the picture of Notre Dame. It has been so long, I had forgotten how beautiful it was.

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    1. THB,
      Thanks.
      Mrs. J (the travel agent) is putting together a 7 day cruise from Barcelona to Rome with stops along the French Coast for September, Looking forward to seeing that part of France.
      Notre Dame is indeed beautiful.

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  5. I’ve been in some strange places, but have never been lost, either.
    I much prefer an up to date paper map to just about any other source of direction.

    I’m not sure how I missed reading this adventure before.
    I must’ve been a little preoccupied by something.

    My condolences to all concerned.
    It is particularly disturbing to be preceded by one’s offspring.
    There really is no good answer as to “why.”

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    1. Skip,
      Yeah, I pondered that on the way over. Fortunately, it was a good crowd of friends and family. Lots of good stories exchanged and a bit of good wine consumed. The winemakers (Mom and Step-Dad) his Sister and his Kids seemed to be somewhat better at the conclusion. Time will tell and heal.

      No good answer that we will be able to ascertain. That answer is God's Will.

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  6. My condolences to your friends.
    I went to France way back in 1976, with my high school classmates, and our teacher, Sr. Mary Therese. We had a glorious time! Five days in Paris, and five days going down the Loire visiting chateaux! I'm grateful that I got to see Notre Dame before the fire. I'd love to return some day.

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    1. Thanks, Mary.

      Sounds like a fun trip. I too am glad I visited before the fire. Looks like restoration is under way. I'm looking forward to revisiting when completed.

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  7. Yes, condolences. Sad thing to outlive your children. I pray I do not. Regarding wine, we can't say we're connoisseurs, but I think that helps us, both in variety and in the pocketbook. I don't have a very particular palate so a value wine might be just fine for me. I've had expensive wines, and they're good, but not enough for me to need or expect it.

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    1. Thanks, Tuna. Yeah, that would be tough wouldn't it? I've been to a few funerals under those circumstances, much harder to find words of encouragement.

      When we owned the wine store, I'd regularly get asked "What's the best wine you have?" My response was always "The one you like." If they questioned further I'd say "Some body likes every wine in my store, no one likes every wine in my store." Buying expensive wine to "Show off" is a waste of money. I too have had the opportunity to drink expensive wine (on someone else's dime), many were quite good. IMHO few were worth the cost. One of my favorite stories from the store was the woman who came in one day looked around and sniffed "There isn't any Texas wine that can compare favorably to ANY California wine." I replied "I'll take that challenge. Pick any wine in my store and we'll taste it against a California wine" She picked a decent Cab from the shelf and brought it over. I reached into my secret hiding place and brought out my bottle of Thunderbird and placed it beside it. She started sputtering saying "THAT's not a California wine!" I pointed to the label which showed it was made in Modesto California. I' then said "There's good wine and bad wine made all over the world." She stormed out of the store. There were several customers in the store at the time. They clapped and bought wine.

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    2. Love it, Snooty wine people are worst! Seen this? https://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1936835.html

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    3. I have now! Thanks, that was hilarious!

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  8. Great effort to educate a wine snob!
    Please let me add my condolences to your friends.
    Bride and I met in Europe and were stationed/employed for about a decade in various parts. Unfortunately we damn near became European in our wine habits, a costly endeavor here in the states.
    We took a trip one year, flying into Orly, spending a weekend in Paris then driving to Giverny, then Caen, Gold,Juno,Sword,Omaha and Utah. Thence to Mont Ste Michel and on to the Loire valley. Chenanceaux (sp?)was a favorite along with Remoratin-Lavergny (also sp?).
    Boat Guy

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    1. Sounds like a good time was had by all.
      Thanks

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  9. Sorry to hear that. Condolences and prayers for the family.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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