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Praetorium Honoris

Thursday, November 17, 2022

Ex-Smoker

Lindsay Fox Photo
(Source)
So, some ten years ago I quit smoking, you can read about that here, written on the second day of the latest (and so far last) attempt to quit smoking. In ten years I have never had the urge to light up, the smell of cigarette smoke bugs the Hell out of me, the thought of actually smoking again is anathema. Ten years, hard to believe.

I used Chantix to help me quit, apparently the active ingredient in this Pfizer-produced (yup, scares me now) drug can cause suicidal thoughts. I knew a guy back in the day who used it to try and quit. He stopped almost immediately. As he said, "I would've quit, that's for sure, dead people don't smoke."

I had no such thoughts, I just had some very vivid and very violent dreams. Which, truth be told, I kinda missed after completing the regimen. I learned later that Chantix had been discontinued because -

"As part of regular safety monitoring, Pfizer discovered the presence of a nitrosamine in batches of Chantix during production. The amount of the contaminant present was higher than what’s acceptable according to FDA guidelines. Because of this, Pfizer stopped producing the medication." (Source)
 
Apparently those nitrosamines can cause cancer, something I quit smoking to avoid. Ah well, perhaps I got a good batch.

When I was done with Chantix (which was rather expensive) and smoking, I had occasion to talk to the company nurse about my accomplishment. She mentioned that my employer would have paid for that, "They give you a coach and everything."

Uh, I don't do "coaches." Some random individual harping about "How are you doing, have you felt the urge to smoke?" Smoking helped me relieve stress, so yes, adding more stress would really help.

I had to wait for The Missus Herself to travel out to California for a couple of weeks before making the attempt. She would have "helped" as well, I'm sure. While people mean well when they are "helping" in such a way, it doesn't "help" me at all. I need to do certain things on my own.

I'm pig-headed that way.

Oddly enough, I still smoke cigarettes in my dreams. Then I wake up pissed off at myself for picking up that old bad habit again. The brain is a strange place, at least mine is.


So yesterday's post originally was about twice as long as the one you got to read. There was some major league incoherent ranting going on, I can tell you. When I wrote the post I got myself worked into such a state that actually quoted Mencken! Not something I normally do.

I actually woke up at 0200 hours and thought, "Hhmm, some of that stuff is borderline sketchy, just saying such a thing might earn me a visit from certain agencies who would have 'questions' about what I meant." So I deleted it, sedition doesn't look all that great on a résumé, and I don't need that kind of stuff in my life. Not now, not ever.

So I'll leave it at that. Revolutions eat their young, I'm an historian, I know this.


I haven't touched upon the horrible accident which occurred in Dallas over the weekend and I don't plan to. I've seen the video and I've also seen aircraft crashes resulting in fatalities live and in person. Not something I care to think about. I've also lost friends in aviation mishaps (as the Air Force likes to call them, a crash resulting in major damage to an aircraft and/or death is a Class A Mishap. At least it was back in my day.) All I'll say about this is that I pray for those lost and their families. A tragic affair.

I also haven't touched upon the ongoing conflict in Ukraine, I let my Polish correspondent Paweł handle such things. He's closer to the scene and has some interesting thoughts on the subject. To me it's a war of aggression under some pretty shady pretenses. Both sides have assholes in their governments but seriously, what nation does not?

The deaths of two Polish farmers due to an errant missile is a tragedy and my prayers go out to those involved. You think innocent Ukrainians and Russians haven't been killed in this fighting? War sucks, but you knew that.

Anyhoo, enough of that. For now.


As you might notice, I'm not writing fiction this week, at least not historical fiction. I've been out of sorts for "reasons." I anticipate getting over all that with the help of a decent night's sleep. Which is on the calendar for this weekend, a three-day weekend I might add.

I really need to buckle down and get Almost A Lifetime ready for publication, I'm close but am still looking at a few days worth of work to get there. I've incorporated a number of your comments (note that I didn't say "all of them," for various reasons). I'm also putting together The Prequel, which is book number two. Getting it off the blog and into Word for formatting and editing takes a while.

There's a temptation to "just keep writing" because it's entertaining, but as I would like to make this writing thing a third career, I need to actually finish something and get it published. I'll probably go the self-publishing route, as many of you have suggested, it seems viable.

Expect more whinging tomorrow, my creativity has flown.




35 comments:

  1. Never tried smoking, guess I saved myself the trouble of quitting. Your lungs appreciated what you did. As to visits from some alphabet agency readers of this blog are probably already on a list somewhere. As to Books One and Two, well, got my ducats all saved up and ready to let loose. As a postscript can't wait to see the long- term medical studies on the effects of the Wu Flu shots and boosters.

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    1. Even more interesting if they release the actual studies to the public. Betcha that data gets classified.

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  2. It is a funny thing, I smoked for 3&1/2 years and quit over fifty years ago and once I quit I hated the smell of cigarette smoke, still hate it to this day.

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  3. Sarge, I never smoked but that is as likely as much that no-one in my immediate or extended family smoked. I do enjoy a cigar (always vanilla flavored) about once a year - the nicotine rush is amazing, but the fact that my mouth always tastes like an ashtray afterwards makes me wonder how anyone could do it full time.

    Good on you for stopping, if for the cost if nothing else.

    It has been a pretty rough couple of weeks to be writing. Even I am finding that my "try not to wander off into controversial subjects" practice is getting frayed. The sense of of careening down just seems overpowering at times.

    Great news on the book. The difficulty with self publishing is, of course, that you have no-one marketing for you (if that matters). When I self published, it was very much the point of "finishing" the task, not sales.

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    1. "So I'll leave it at that. Revolutions eat their young, I'm an historian, I know this."

      I as well, Sarge. To be honest, this is the thing that always worries me in my soul when I read of folks spouting things that sound, as you say, "sketchy". To paraphrase Blue Oyster Cult, History shows again and how revolutions point out the folly of men (followed by a rousing shout of "Godzilla!").

      As your fiction points out, things at the beginning of a thing and things and the end of a thing look very different.

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    2. TB #1 - The temptation to rant and scream is almost unbearable at times. When you sense that no one is at the wheel and you're careening towards a precipice ...

      It's like those dreams where you're running from a monster and you can barely move.

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    3. TB #2 - "The folly of men ..."

      Exactly!

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  4. If we could reset, that would would be revolutionary. I have fevered dreams of a sunset on just about all the federal laws enacted this century and last. Limiting the time spent in office for all gov workers, so they have to find real work after a max of six years service. But there isn't any way to "there". So, we clank and rumble into the mine field. Since no one is willing to "manage" the grifters, we'll burn, and it'll be worse than a reset to founding principles.

    Dad smoked about three packs over two days. To this day, I smell cig smoke and I get a quick buzz. After the second breath, I'm ready to move on. I heard him hack and cough up his lungs every morning, and I figured that wasn't for me, but I never bugged anyone for smoking. I even voted for indoor smoking to be allowed at work, when that was a choice. The most ardent anti-smokers I've met were ex-smokers.

    That Chantix issue, yikes! I barely kept my wife off Phenphen. It is amazing what the FDA can accomplish.

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  5. I might write another episode of ewok report soon, following the intense events lately

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    1. It would be interesting to hear your perspective on all that. Whenever you're ready.

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  6. Smoking was harder to quit than drinking, the desire was there but nicotine is a powerful addiction. I used the patches, I had them on hand from a previous attempt. We were flying to Orlando, it was going to be a LONG day. I'd finished a pack before I went to bed and put a patch on in the morning and we headed for the airport. The next morning I put another patch on... did the patches for 2 months then tried without and I was ok... that was 14 years ago..

    Our world today? This morning's (11-17-22) Dilbert cartoon brought out a point I'd never noticed... all the media & social media in this country is controlled by the same people except TikTok... TikTok is Chinese.

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    1. I've heard that kicking nicotine is tougher than kicking heroin.

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    2. My youngest step-son kicked crack about 15 years ago, but still can't kick cigarettes.

      My father started smoking at age 12. He quit cold turkey on his 50th birthday. He made it to 84, but it was the COPD from all those years of smoking that finally did him in.

      I never smoked cigarettes, but did smoke cigars and a pipe for several years. I developed an allergy to tobacco and had to quit. It was probably for the best. I'm sure it saved me a few bucks quitting.

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    3. I had a buddy die from COPD, he's pictured up on the mast head. He quit cigarettes but smoked cigars up until his death. I often wonder if he'd still be around if only ...

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  7. Smoked a carton a week for twenty years. One day in 1984 stopped cold turkey. Haven't touched any kind of tobacco since but still have a craving for a cigarette from time to time. 1982 tried hypnosis. All I got from that is a voice in my head, "You do not smoke. You have succeeded where thousands have failed. You do not smoke". Maybe it took two years to work?

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  8. Strange to say, but smoking 1-2 cigarettes a day is actually somewhat good for you. And nicotine is a mind-focusing agent.

    Now that that is said, can't stand the smell or sight of tobacco usage, whether smoked or chawed. Bleh.

    And 6 months after the inlaws moved out, each a 2 carton a week smoker, my wife and I thought we were very sick so we went to our family doctor. We were, both nonsmokers, having nicotine withdrawals.

    As to the 3-Letter boys dropping by your home or work for what you write, it's one of the side-effects of having 'clearance.' You have to be careful of what you voice or pen or click. Now me? Ahhahahahahahahahaaaaa, the days of needing higher clearance than the actual cops I worked for are loooong gone, so, hey, Fibbies and Nosuchers and such, I fart in your general direction.

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  9. smoking: I started @ 7½ (many older cousins; 'sides which, it was 1948). quit when I was 44, I had to (yes! had to) watch a good friend (and a referrer) die of lung cancer. at that time I was smoking 4 packs a day. I had tried previously, for a day, for a week at best. this time I quit cold turkey. (the only other vice I'm really addicted to is breathing) it wasn't easy. I smell fresh cigarette smoke (stale makes me ill) and I get this terrible, almost uncontrollable urge. (we're talking now forty years later) then I remember a really good guy, say a prayer for his soul, and it helps reduce the urge ... somewhat.

    Nitrosamines: yeah! they may (underline may) cause cancer. "It is well established ... that certain foods such as bacon and beer contain preformednitrosamines (Lijinsky, 1999)." yeah! I'm just about going to give up beer and bacon; don't hold your breath, doc!

    Every time I read something about Russia/Ukraine, I consider the two major actors: Vladimir Putin and Volodymyr Zelenskyy. what I know (have heard/read) about Mr. Putin's background is that he is a religious man, who, in his position, is very tolerant of other religions and a chess player/master(?). what I know (have heard/read) about Mr. Zelenskyy's background is that he is (raised Jewish, but) an irreligious man and a failed comic/actor (I also get the strong feeling he is a gonif, a person whose primary consideration is lining his own pockets). I get the strong feeling that Mr.Zelenskyy thought it might be fun to play "President for a Day" and now finds himself far out of his depth (being eaten by the other/real piranhas in the pool).

    Every time I've tried to nudge Cali (nickname for ...), she tells me, "A Greek Homer you ain't, think more Homer Simpson," starts giggling uncontrollably, and then runs away to a dark corner and sulks.

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    1. Oh yeah, back in the day kids started smoking pretty young. I didn't start until I'd been in the Air Force for a few years. It was a great way to beat stress, too bad it's so damned addictive. From what I understand, out in California everything causes cancer, says so on all the labels! (Even cars!)

      As to the players in the Russo-Ukrainian war, I know little of either, just that Vladimir Vladimirovich is a former KGB colonel, and Volodymyr Oleksandrovych is an ex-comedian. I think both of them are way in over their heads with this war. I doubt Putin will ever trust his generals again, that's for sure. As for Zelenskyy, he gets better press, which makes him suspect in many ways.

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  10. Smoked the proverbial one at the insistence of my mother. Hated it, never did it again, Puffed but did not inhale, cigars at Dining In's, but that was more tradition than anything else. Mom and Dad both smoked from their teens. Mom quit in her early sixties, but that was too late. Dad quit cold turkey at that point. Lived to 78. Not sure there's rhyme or reason involved.

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    1. Oddly enough, all of the men on my Dad's side of the family smoked, none of the women. Though I was exposed to it growing up, never thought to try it until one drunken evening in Korea. Ah weel ...

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  11. I smoked for about 10 years and quit cold turkey. I had tried quitting before but would end up buying a pack so in my final effort I just duct taped an almost full pack of smokes and carried it for the first week or so and could ask myself when the urge hit for a smoke if I wanted to tear off all that duct tape. It was no longer a simple matter of stepping into a store and buying a pack thinking I'd only smoke the one.... I too still sometimes dream that I'm smoking. I haven't in over 15 years but did find in the earlier attempts to quit gone awry that smoking cigars while golfing also had to stop since they proved a gateway to craving another smoke.
    I can't stand cigarette smoke now and I'm amazed that people I see on the down and out still smoke. I have no idea how they can afford it. When I quit I was still buying cartons for just over $10.00 on base. I see a pack of the good ones will set you back over $6.00 around these parts.

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    1. Little Rhody will set you back ten bucks for a pack of smokes. I could get two cartons from the Commissary for that price back in the day! Can't even buy them in the Commissary any more.

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  12. No real need to touch upon that crash in Texas. It's pretty clear what happened, tragic as it was. As it's been said here many times, going back to the very first posts, aviation is a dangerous game which is very unforgiving of mistakes.

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    1. Unforgiving is always the word which springs to mind ...

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  13. Im about a month into my quit smoking campaign. So far so good. Ive been using a vape stick which has helped. It might be worse for me, but its working. Instead of tasting like as ash tray, i now have this lovely orange flavor. Way better. I haven't smoked any green through all this. That will be the true test.

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    1. Dang! Good on you! I sent Liz a link to your blog, she says "Hi!"

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  14. Commitment, support, passion = formula for success! Thank you Franklin for your insight.

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  15. Memory fades. I managed to quit in 1987(?), having smoked for about twenty years. I was addicted before I started. I worked in a college radio station (yes it was very like WKRP) where all of the other 67 staff smoked. All of the time. About a year after I started, I was being very grumpy at a staff party, someone said I was having a nicotine fit, and a lit cigarette was stuck in my mouth. I inhaled and I was hooked. Two or three packs a day for about two decades.

    At my 20th high school reunion, many objected to this and urged me to quit. The one I rememben was then a heart-lung transplant surgeon who told the others to stop. "I know he'll quit." "Why?" someone asked. "I've buried lots of smoking patients, none had a cigarette machine in their casket. "

    Thanks, Greg. (We lost him to early Alzheimer'se)

    I'd done some animal training and training removal. To un-train, give the signal, then randomly reward. This breaks the link. When I had the urge, I'd flip a coin. Heads, cigarette. Tails, nicotine gum After two months, I had to get two heads, else gum. Four months, three. Six months, I noticed I didn't have any with me, looked at the machine, walked away. &it took another six months to get completely changed to Trident gum, and then gum to carrot sh
    sticks.

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