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| SAN DIEGO (April 5, 2011) Hospitalman Urian D. Thompson, left, Lt. Cmdr. Eric A. Lavery and Registered Nurse Steven Cherry review the monitor while Lavery uses a colonoscope on a patient during a colonoscopy at Naval Medical Center San Diego. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Chad A. Bascom/Released) |
Um, no, no it isn't.
Mama's home, Anya is maintaining her own.
And I got to do colonoscopy prep for Presidents Day.
Seems fitting somehow.
Be back Wednesday (I hope) with something either by myself or John Blackshoe (I've got one of his posts on hot standby), we'll see how things go.
Not my first rodeo.
Wrote about it here some years back. When I re-read that post I remembered some things about that first time affair. Sounded more fun to read about it than it was to go through it. Ah, well, here we go.
Yay me.
Dab. Don't wipe. That's the lesson I learned. It's amazing how something as soft as toilet paper becomes a 300 grit sandpaper after such a short period of time. It's best to just have a seat, and spend the time reading a book.
ReplyDeleteWhich pretty much describes my Monday night.
DeleteIt can save your life, so ... bear it. Which reminds me, I've got to schedule and do that, so thank you for the reminder. Prep is getting much easier the last decade. Hoping for boring results.
ReplyDeleteWay better than the last time!
DeleteHad an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy done at the same time earlier this year, that prep wasn't too bad compared to previous times. Like Jess said, this procedure certainly gives the reading room its name. Good luck Sarge.
ReplyDeleteDid a lot of reading.
DeleteLast colonoscopy, just as the drugs were beginning to take effect, I remember looking at the monitor and thinking, "So that's what it looks like when I have my head up my ass...".
ReplyDelete:-)
-Barry
🤣🤣🤣
DeleteGood one Barry.
DeleteI recall one when the show was just about to start, and as I was laying there exposing a part of me that should be covered, I heard them talking, and I also heard a non-American accent.
I realized at that second that I was actually going to be probed by Aliens.
Heh, probed, he said probed.
DeleteMy doctor called me a polyp farmer. She has me doing yearly colonoscopies so I am going again next month. The other guys are right, prep has gotten much better.
ReplyDeleteDang!
DeleteWe are both due this year, and as others have said, the preparations are much easier.
ReplyDeleteThe preparation process does make me idly think about installing a Bidet.
One of the euros better fixtures. Makes a lot of sense in its primary function and great for cleaning muddy boots.
DeleteThe prep HAS improved greatly in the 20-some years since my first. Colon cancer is NOT the way you want to go out.
Boat Guy
JiP - Prep is way better than it used to be.
DeleteStill though, a rather explosive event.
Never could get into the bidet thing. Long story there, not really fit for prime time.
DeleteNever fun and always memorable. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAll done. Everything went well except that the person doing the scheduling didn't factor in the fact that the doc was on vacation.
DeleteBit of a wait for his partner to come in.
Yikes!! THAT is a BIG Whoops in the medical office world...especially after you have done the prep and are ready to go...so to speak...plus the partner wound up doing more than he was planning on. Someone got sternly spoken to, I guarantee it!
DeleteSuz
DeleteOne hopes so!
Delete👍
DeleteGood luck Sarge!
ReplyDeleteIt was apparently The Ravishing Mrs. TB's first potential go around this year. Turns out they are now doing urine sample home kits for at least some people. Much more pleasant than that "preparation" period.
I've heard of that, still, not as good as having, ahem, "boots on the ground."
DeleteDon't just wipe, wash as well. Buy a big container of large wet wipes and use them. Doing this I had no problem with the raw rear end. Also get the Doc to give you the good drugs. I lost 24 hours. Last thing I remembered was having the Nurse Anesthetist saying she was adding the drugs to the IV. Next thing I remember was waking up the next day. Wife said when I was awake that day I was a zombie asked for food on the way home and then just crashed. I remember nothing.
ReplyDeleteWhat they gave me was more than sufficient to put me in dreamland.
DeleteI hope whoever invented wet wipes is a billionaire by now. (Just don't tell the submariners that!)
Selection of soothing measures is important. We had an older engineer at work one summer telling of when he had suffered from hemorrhoids. Early one morning, he stumbled in misery to the bathroom and fumbled in the medicine cabinet for the tube of the Dr's prescription salve. He got a tube of Ben-Gay instead. Next thing he knew he was sitting in the bathtub with the cold water running full blast. It worked - said he puckered up so hard it cured them.
DeleteOuch.
DeleteUSN O-7: Well Doctor did you find anything?
ReplyDeleteDoctor: Just the usual brown noses.
Good one. 😎
DeleteHope all went well, Sarge. (In all possible meanings of that verb.)
ReplyDeletejuvat
Seven polyps (one apparently ginormous), gotta go back in six months. I ain't worried, que sera and all that.
DeleteBut I'm home and glad it's over.
There is a non invasive test out there COLONGUARD. You get to mail in the sample for testing.
ReplyDeleteNot the gold standard as is the colonostomy is , but much better as far as discomfort goes.
Guy in the waiting room next to me when the nurse asked him if he'd ever had a colonoscopy -
Delete"Yup, been violated before, not a virgin."
I gave him a "well said," hilarity ensued.
With the "Micheal Jackson" propofol drug they use now, recovery is usually just a couple of hours, unlike the old "out of it for 24" stuff.
ReplyDeleteBut, be alert to unusual reactions. After my wife's last visit, instead of a couple hour nap and back to normal, she wanted to sleep basically all the time for the next day and a half. This is not normal, so off to the ER. Admitted with septic shock where body organs were on the verge of shutting down. Not from any sort of perforation during the procedure, but apparently the extra volume of liquids during the prep dislodged a large kidney stone (which she had no knowledge of!) which blocked flow through the kidney, causing sepsis to set in. It took a week in the ICU to get that cleared up! If something is not right, act quickly. This was a lot more serious than we realized.
JB
Thanks JB, I'll be alert to such things. Doc said, "Even if you're just feeling 'off,' let us know immediately."
DeleteBOHICA
ReplyDeleteIndeed. 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAs my dad says: "Up periscope!"
ReplyDeleteWell, I did blow all tanks.
DeleteSo glad everything came out OK!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder, I need to schedule that for me.
That's what we do here, remind people about the need for a colonoscopy, wait, what?
Delete😁
"Seems fitting somehow." I sprayed the monitor. Please don't do this.
ReplyDeleteYa gotta love drugs, somehow. Although I think they have eaten away my liver. More later.
😎
DeleteHello, I'm new here. Is this the seventh grade writing class?
ReplyDeleteWhy yes, yes it is. Here, drink this and wait ...
DeleteLol- Good Job Sarge - Personally I feel the worst part of these procedures is the prep & fasting period.
DeleteAnyway, I can personally attest to the seriousness of submitting to a regularly scheduled colonoscopy every three to five years, after turning 55 or 60 -.At 75, I have obvious;y experienced this procedure several times. I just completed a colonoscopy two weeks ago where for the first time they discovered & removed Five precancerous polyps...kind of a rude awakening.
I always seem to have polyps. My body seems to like growing extraneous stuff. Skin tags, we has them as well.
DeleteTrust me when I tell you do the prep and get the scope done. Colon cancer is absolutely not anyone's idea of a fun time,although surprisingly still pretty common. While they can do surgery to remove tumors, and there have been HUGE advances in chemotherapy options, ya really don't want to go through any of it if it can be helped. Colonoscopy and polyp removal is MUCH easier, and catches polyps before they turn cancerous--prevention is definitely much easier. Besides when else can you go hog the bathroom for like 6 hours without getting any guff???
ReplyDeleteSuz
Good point on hogging the bathroom!
DeleteDoc said get this done...so 13 years ago at age 50 my dumb agrarian butt (no pun intended) went to the big city and lost all of my humility as I bared all of my manliness to a beautiful blond nurse and the doc who gleefully probed me and thankfully found no issues. At that time I found a new appreciation for incarcerated inmates around the world! I’ve now grown accustomed to the procedures that modern medicine as I’ve undergone the process two more times, and I’m thankful because two of my uncles died as a result of colon cancer because they were to ....hesitant.... to be checked out. Men, forget your pride and manliness and get it done!
ReplyDeleteYup, first one is hard, after that ...
DeleteEasy (ish).
Ugh, but it's a small price to pay for avoiding a colostomy bag or trips to the oncology center I suppose. My wife cheated and did that over-advertised Colo-guard.
ReplyDeleteTrue dat.
DeleteOn one of my last procedures, I asked the Nurse if I was getting the Michael Jackson drug.
DeleteShe said yes and I asked if I would wake up with a chimp or some little boys. She was way pissed off.
When I went in to the room I asked the anesthetist and the nurse the same thing. They were men and had a good laugh.
I can well imagine.
Delete