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Praetorium Honoris

Tuesday, March 5, 2024

Adventures in Bavaria or ... The Oil Pump

PxHere
A long, long time ago, in a country far away, I was a newly minted Master Sergeant in the United States Air Force assigned to NATO at Geilenkirchen AB in the Bundesrepublik Deutschland. Upon my ascension to this lofty station I was no longer fated to carry a rifle during NATO exercises, I had graduated to the Nuclear-Biological-Chemical Decontamination Team, or NBC team for short.

My job henceforth, during exercises and real world contingencies (i.e. all out war, nuclear combat toe to toe with the Rooskies), it would be my job, along with select other individuals, to decontaminate individuals and vehicles which had been exposed (or suspected to be exposed) to NBC contamination.

In order to perform said tasks, I would be required to go to a NATO school. So I was told.

"Where is the school?" I asked.

"It's in Oberammergau which is in ..."

"Ah, I know where Oberammergau is, Bavaria. It's the home of the Passion Play which is put on every ten years and has been since 1634."

"Okay, you know more about Oberammergau than I do," said Senior Master Sergeant Hayes. (A damned fine man, retired as a Chief Master Sergeant. One of the very few really good senior NCOs I met in my 24 year career.)

So after doing all of the necessary planning and paperwork, I loaded The Missus Herself and our kids into the Volkswagen Jetta and we set out for Bavaria.

Now you might be wondering at taking the family on a school assignment which was only a week long. Well, it was NATO. I'd be staying in a very nice apartment anyway, so why not bring the family? We found lodging for our cats Pat and Tiger, as I was told, "Sorry, no pets." I doubt they would have tolerated the trip anyway. Cats and automobiles not getting along all that well, especially for eight hours. One way.

The kids received scholastic dispensation for missing school for a week, "They will have to write a report about their trip," we were told, which for our scholarly inclined progeny wasn't a big deal. As The Nuke said (I think it was her), "Beats sitting in class all day."

Off we went. Discovered that the oil pump in my Jetta was on the cusp of dying, such fun, but we made it.

Now what sparked this reminiscence?

Whilst casting about for a topic to post about, usually I do this by looking at pictures, sometimes starting at PxHere (which has a lot of great photos free for use in a non-commercial setting, as the blog makes zero dollars, this qualifies). I entered the search term "weather" as it's been wet and cool here as of late and the photo above was presented.

I immediately remembered when we pulled up to our apartment building (which may or may not have been a Wehrmacht¹ barracks in the mid 1940s). As we were unloading the car I heard cow bells (no, it wasn't Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Öyster Cult) in the distance. Looking up I saw a scene very similar to that in the picture.

Though it was a fairly clear day, there was mist in the hills and the wind was pushing it up the hillside. Much like in the photo.

The shining sun, the mist in the hills, and the cow bells ringing as some farmer was moving his herd, all combined to take my breath away. The area around Oberammergau is very beautiful as we discovered during our week there. The Missus Herself and the kids had more fun than I as NATO arranged bus trips for the families when the active duty types were in school. She took full advantage of those, even getting down to Austria. I did get a Thursday off where we took my ailing Jetta to see Neuschwanstein. That too was breathtaking, just because of the castle itself but because we also walked up the hill upon which the castle sits. They had horse carriages which would take you up, but The Missus Herself felt sorry for the horses. (She lost that feeling when we got to the top, "Damn it, we should've taken the horse cart!")

See that hill in the background of the next picture? The NATO school was near the base of that hill. Like I said, a beautiful place.

Leupoldstraße, Oberammergau, Germany
Looking in the direction of the NATO school

(Source)
Eventually, as all good things do, our trip ended and we had to return home. Along the way we had to call ADAC, the German equivalent of AAA (no, juvat, not anti-aircraft artillery) as my oil pump died. I had attempted to convince a number of German mechanics that my oil pump was failing, to no avail.

"Ah, you have not enough oil in your car!" said one.

"Ah, you have too much oil in your car!" cried another.

When I finally broke down (figuratively, the car would still run okay at slow speeds) and called ADAC, they sent a little old dude in an Audi to help. He was actually dressed in Lederhosen, which I thought cool. He listened to my plaintive tale and promptly said "Ölpumpe!"²

He directed us to the nearest Volkswagen garage (next town) which was getting ready to close and had absolutely no desire to help us. After demanding to use his phone, and being as ugly an American as I could be, the manager relented and let me call ADAC. Again. He acted like he wanted me to pay for the use of his phone. I just shook my head and berated him in front of his minions. My German was good enough in those days to do that.

Now I thought the guy was an Arschloch, apparently some of his employees agreed as I spotted a couple of grins during my lecture to him on the need to assist travelers in need and "where oh where" was that well-known and celebrated Bavarian Gemütlichkeit

I think he actually blushed when I said that.

Anyhoo, after a wait of several hours, during which we sat in our car in front of the garage, something I asked if it was okay to do and to which the manager almost said no, then thought better of it, a big van towing a trailer showed up to haul us back to Waldfeucht, our little town in Nordrhein-Westfalen.

Now on the trip back the German driver and his minion refused to listen to my directions on how to get to my house. We went on an hour long detour before the guy relented and turned to me, asking, "Now where is it do you live?"

Now home, safe and sound, the next day I went to the local Volkswagen place where they didn't believe me that my oil pump was bad. They had to take it out and test it. After about thirty minutes the mechanic returned, looking somewhat chagrined.

With an evil grin, I asked him, in German of course, what was wrong with my car.

"Ölpumpe." he said, rather sheepishly.

He didn't speak much English, I gathered, because he didn't even blink when I offered calmly and succinctly, "No shit, Sherlock."

Really, I should have been a diplomat, I am so good with people.




¹ The Wehrmacht was the German armed forces during WWII.
² Oil pump.
³ Gemütlichkeit is a German word used to convey the idea of a state or feeling of warmth, friendliness, and good cheer. 

46 comments:

  1. From '84-'88 I had the pleasure of being stationed at the Regional Medical Center in Wiesbaden, Germany. Best 4-year, paid vacation of my career. Had great time supporting NATO teams during multiple Red Flag exercises including setting up Spangdahlem, the twin sister of the WRMC. Salty Demo at Ramstein was a great time with all the contractors showing off their various wares. And we were involved with various exercises with the Bundeswehr and Luftwaffe which kept things interesting.

    Our First Sergeant even managed get a few of us invited to a Bundeswehr shooting competition and I picked up a bronze Schützenschnur, which looked quite dashing on my class A blues.

    After it was all shut down back in '96, the WRMC was converted into the German equivalent of the FBI headquarters. The NCO dorms are now various legal offices. The dental clinic and ancillary buildings have all been converted to civilian use. Lindsey Air Station is all civilian housing and various private offices and businesses.

    The Hainerberg BX complex is still there to support the Wiesbaden Air Base (located across the A66 from Nordenstadt), but I'm pretty sure Mainz-Kastel BX complex is long gone.

    IMHO Wiesbaden is still the jewel of Hessen, and remains one of my favorite German cities.

    Good times! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved Germany, spent over seven years there. USAF wanted me to stay two more years past my high year of tenure, I asked if I could stay in Germany, big AF said no. So I said, "Bye!" and retired with 24 years.

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    2. Back then, I drove a German spec VW Jetta. One exercise I participated in was at a NATO base in somewhere in Belgium in February. Lots of snow, stupid cold. Saturday morning we finished up and I headed home. About 30 minutes into the drive the heater blower motor quit so things got really cold, really quick. Fortunately I found a small VW shop in a little town I was passing through.

      Not sure if anyone was there or not, I banged on the old coach doors that led into the shop, and an older guy opened the door to see what I was on about. With a few words of German and high school French, I tried to describe the problem and asked if he could replace the fan motor. He shook his head no, indicating he didn't have the parts. So I thanked him and turned to leave.

      He then stopped me, and motioned for me to drive into the shop. He then walked into the showroom, and pulled the blower motor out of a brand new VW Golf and installed it in my Jetta. After he finished up, I reached for my wallet, and he shook his head "No." He reached out and shook my hand and broken English said, "Tell your Grandfather I said thank you."

      Amazing.

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    3. Ah Belgium, good folks out in the back country.

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    4. That story brought tears to my eyes. "Tell your Grandfather I said thank you." THAT is quite the comment.

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    5. Would that there was more of that sentiment remaining in Europe.
      Break
      "NATO"=
      Needs America To Operate
      Nothing After Ten O'clock
      Never At The Office
      Wonderful folks to have coffee/drinks with, though.
      BG

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    6. STxAR - I had that happen to me in Korea. Walking down the street with a buddy on our way to work, we were in uniform. This old grandfather type guy wearing traditional clothing stopped us and thanked us. It was really cool.

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  2. I was thinking about symptoms for a bad oil pump in a VW... the oil light on is the only thing I can think of & not steady on but then my first thought (after checking the oil) would be a sensor... but those sensors are on/off when they go bad, so I'm guessing the oil pressure gauge (I don't remember if any of my VWs came with a gauge) was showing bad?

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    Replies
    1. What it was was a high pitched whine at speeds over 40 mph. The pump was straining I guess. Stay under 40 and it wasn't a problem. Driving back from Bavaria at 40 was a no-go.

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  3. My thought on seeing the photo was, "When did he visit the Mendocino coast?" Or maybe the north end of the Napa Valley.

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    Replies
    1. You can find spots like that all over the world. Weird, innit?

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  4. Sarge,
    I recognized where you were right off the bat. While stationed at CinCPAC HQ my boss and I went to Oberammergau to brief the school on how we did Joint Task Forces in the Pacific. I was the speaker, he was there as top cover and to sight see (as was I to the latter). Great minds think alike, we visited every place you described. Nice place. Need to bring the wife over there for a little relaxation.
    juvat

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    Replies
    1. I absolutely loved it there.

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    2. Juvat- Sounds like you and Mrs J have your next trip planning destination. Something to look forward to during the current unpleasantness.
      JB

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    3. JB,
      Yeah, the travel advisor in her is planning a River Cruise in Germany/Austria sometime next year. That might be a good chance to tack a little She and Me time on the end . Thanks for the suggestion.
      juvat
      P.S. anyone interested might give her a call. Just sayin'

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    4. Pas Auf, Juvat! The Germany we knew and loved has deteriorated in the large urban areas thanks to all of the "diversity" they've imported. You should ( operative word) be OK in Freistaat Bayern, but I'd avoid metro areas completely. If you fly in/out of Munich (recommended) and get out of town to O'gau that'd be the way to do it. Long's you're "in the neighborhood" head down to Bad Tolz; 13 km from Tolz in Kloster Reutberg brewery of the best beer in the world; they cook well too! Sit on the terrace and enjoy an afternoon.
      Oh and ADAC is not the "equivalent" of AAA; in my experience it was far superior.
      Boat Guy

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    5. juvat - Rhine River cruises are excellent, avoid the metropolitan areas like the plague.

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    6. BG - Genau!

      Also yes, ADAC is far superior to AAA! (I said equivalent so folks would get a rough idea of what ADAC does, but yes, they do it far better. At least they did 25 years ago. Damn, I was there 25 years ago, when did I get this old?)

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    7. Boat Guy,
      Just so you know. AAA or a Superior ADAC is not a good thing to a Fighter Pilot. HSSSS! Nuke 'em from orbit it's the only way!
      ;-)
      Fighter pilot.
      juvat

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  5. Oh and congrats on 4.5 Mil page views.
    juvat

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    Replies
    1. Ah, just noticed that. Sweet!

      God Bless us, every one.

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  6. Went to the NATO school too. I was told it used to be a SS training site.

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    Replies
    1. Likely. The former "Flint Kaserne" in Bad Tolz had been an SS "Junkerschule" before our SF guys took it over.
      BG.

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    2. Any Mouse - My sources tell me it was home to a Gebirgsjäger Signal Battalion from 1937.

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    3. BG - Seems more likely to have belonged to the mountain troops. Of course, the Waffen SS did have Gebirgsjäger as well, wasn't just the Army.

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    4. Lotta little old Kasernes in Bayern, there's another one down in Lenggries that the SF guys used. Between there and Tolz is the cradle of SF; lots of the guys retired around there. The Independence Day celebrations were something!
      Boat Guy

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    5. Well, if they had German wives ...

      Seriously, a friend of mine in Colorado was married to a German. She longed for the green of Germany. Colorado can be very brown for a big chunk of the year. Eventually they moved back to Germany. I didn't get that until I was stationed there, greenest place I've ever been!

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  7. Sarge, once in the Long Ago The Ravishing Mrs. TB and I did a "14 Countries in 2 days" tour, and had the pleasure of going to the Passion Play at Oberammergau. Highly recommended for any that have not done so.

    The monastery just up the road at Ettal has a wonderful chapel as well. The liquor they produce there as well is also worth a taste.

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    Replies
    1. That would be something to see, they only do it every ten years, next one should be 2030.

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  8. The ceiling in the church in Ettal was gorgeous!
    BG

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  9. On an unrelated topic - is anyone else having issues getting into Facebook? I opened it got a "Session has expired, please log in again" notice. And am unable to log in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had no problems just now, from Google Chrome.

      Delete
  10. Alles ist in Ordnung, Ya? GI cars. As the painful tenth owner of an English Ford, the oil filter gasket was shot. We were in Koblenz and I had disassembled the housing on a side street. Spotting a Ford dealership we went in and showed the Parts Herr the ragged gasket. He came back with a gasket and we compared them - the same size. He asked what model of Ford I had and, hearing Anglica, snatched the gasket from the counter. "Das gilt für einen deutschen Ford, nicht für einen englischen Ford". Bastard wouldn't sell it. Retiring to a nearby gasthaus, I fabricated a gasket from a beer coaster which worked an we were on our way.

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    1. No, this was actually a Jetta I'd bought in the States and brought over. But I've had one of those GI cars, on Okinawa. Some bastard stole my carburetor!

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  11. Man, all I ever got to see was blown up stuff and flat islands. Dad was cheated, cheated I say....

    Sounds like fun.

    One of the neighbors when Dad retired was a German bride of an AF officer (who flew B-66s and SR-71s) and I got my first taste of real German food. Why oh why is it so hard to find a German restaurant? Me wanna have more!!!

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    Replies
    1. You should've gone to Okinawa. Nice beaches, jungle, and old Mitsubishi Zero revetments.

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    2. When we were first stationed at Kadena, we lived off base and within a hundred yards or so of one of the invasion beaches. At the new personnel in-brief we were warned not to stroll to the beaches, they were still regularly getting calls of land mines and UXO. Got our attention, yes it did.
      juvat

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    3. I didn't say you could use the beaches ... 🙄

      But yeah, that could definitely be a problem.

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    4. The case of Japanese hand-grenades I found while snorkeling was very interesting in an "Oh, poop, must leave, must leave now" way. Spent shell casings and bullets and metal fragments? Used to have a box of them.

      Beaches at Kwaj were mostly safe, only becoming unsafe during Portuguese Man-o-War invasions. All the goodly boom stuff was underwater out of range of mere snorkelers.

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    5. There are parts of France which are off-limits due to unexploded ordnance from World War One. For more than just hand grenades!

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  12. My wife and I spent some time there before the wall came down in the 80's. Lovely place with a herd of sheep that went out of town and back behind the hotel. Bells ringing, I thought it might be the most pleasant place I have ever visited. The beer was also the best, but NBC troops probably not allowed to imbibe?

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    Replies
    1. We had a big party at the end of the week. Lots of imbibing!

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