Pages

Praetorium Honoris

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Memories of NATO

Le Siège de Paris
Ernest Meissonier
Meissonier is one of my favorite painters, the one above is packed with historically accurate details and lots and lots of allegory. The lady at the center of the painting represents the city of Paris (Meissonier's wife actually posed for that bit), a city which has seen a lot of turmoil in its long history. (This was the second siege of Paris, the first was undertaken by Vikings in 885 to 886 AD.)

Now the French are an interesting lot (before you warm up your comments to hate on the French, tread lightly, the family name was originally Gaudry, changed by my paternal great-grandfather for reasons which have been lost to time), martially they are belittled by people without much knowledge of history. Sure, the French fell apart in 1940, but in 1812 they actually captured Moscow, something the Germans failed to do.

I've talked with folks who have served with the French, they, to a man, praise their abilities. Peuvent-ils être casse-cul? Certainement.¹ I remember a story related to me by a German colleague in NATO (so perhaps "consider the source" applies here, there is no love lost between the Germans and the French).

Back when I was working on the E-3A AWACS², Boeing would occasionally have the various organizations who operated that type aircraft over to Seattle to learn "what's new" in a new software build. There were four groups: the Americans, the British, NATO, and the French. At the end of the week-long visit there was normally a party.

Except when the French were visiting. Apparently they were all business and made no effort to be nice or friendly. Boeing had a product to sell and the French probably didn't want any fripperies while doing so. I couldn't understand why the French were disliked by Boeing.

Until the day Boeing sent a representative to Germany to regale us with the grimy details of the new build of the Executive software (which was the heart and soul of the AWACS Operational Computer Program, i.e. AOCP, how I remember this 25 years later rather astounds me ...).

Your Humble Scribe and his close associate, one Oberfeldwebel Bendfeldt of the Luftwaffe (known far and wide as Benny), were detailed to sit down with this contractor guy, who apparently had been doing this task for years and enjoying every minute of it.

So on a Monday (why is it always a bloody Monday), Joe contractor walks in carrying a rather thick binder of computer paper. We all sit down, he opens the binder, and starts going through the JOVIAL³ code, line by line.

While Benny sits there, soaking it all in, and being nice, I'm flabbergasted, astounded, and mind-boggled at this latest display of NATO inefficiency (more on that in a bit). I think I lasted a half an hour, a mere 30 minutes, before I asked, "Do you intend to go through this code, line by line, rather than tell us what's new and where we might have problems with this version?" (Boeing issued a standard version which we then had to modify to suit our operational needs, each operating organization having slightly different needs.)

He sat there for a moment, stared at me for a moment, then went back to reading each line of code. I called "foul," went immediately to my boss, and said contractor was on a plane back to Seattle the very next day. (At least that's how I remember it.)

Now I think the reason this really irked me has to do with my "introduction to NATO" a couple of years prior to this incident.

Apparently every new enlisted assignee to NATO underwent a six month period of training. Not every day mind you, the courses were interspersed with one's regular duties, but it took six months to get all the training in.

The first couple of courses weren't bad, just I couldn't see the point of them. Most of what they taught would be picked up via On the Job Training, OJT. But then I hit a third course which was, essentially, Computer Programming 101.

Uh, what?

I had a degree in computer science, the Air Force had made me go to their school, which had been a waste of time and money (though I did have fun in Biloxi, even if it was summer and the average temperature seemed to hover around 90, with humidity the same). I smelled another one of those "someone decided that this was a requirement, so we must do it, even if it makes no sense.

Now I had a boss in those days, an American major, female, who did not tolerate bullshit and was outstanding to work for. I went and talked to her, asking why I had to, once again, learn how to convert numbers from hexadecimal and octal and how to write a computer program. She thought that was odd, so she went up the chain.

Turns out that not every nation in NATO sent programmers to NATO to, ya know, work on computer programs. Especially certain southern European countries whose names begin with "I" or "G." For NATO was sweet duty for them (one Italian told me that basically being assigned to NATO doubled their salary). So their governments liked to spread the wealth.

Among some of my colleagues were air traffic controllers, security policemen, administrative types, etc. From what I understood at the time, those nations didn't have computer programmers in their militaries (though I may be misremembering).They could spell "computer" but that's about it.

So someone, I suspect an American, decided that those folks from other countries should be trained. Then, I suspect a southern European, decided that it was unfair to make their guys take this training, everyone should take it!

I threw the bullshit flag, my boss reviewed the tapes (so to speak) and it was decreed that if someone showed up with a computer background, and had the proof of training therein, then that person need not take the NATO training. The cries of "unfair" fell upon deaf American and German ears. (Less people taking the training, less money spent on same.)

As back then it was primarily the Germans and the Americans footing the bill, our votes counted more. (To show the importance of those two nations at Geilenkirchen, command rotated between a German general for two years, then an American general for two. All the generals we had when I was there were Sierra Hotel.)

At least that's how I remember it.


You may note that there is no new chapter to Uprising, I am working on it but work has started to display an element of suckage that heretofore it did not. New management dontcha know, as people move on. Process is king, status über alles, and who cares whether or not we deliver crap to our customer?

Retirement is looking sweeter and sweeter. While I'll miss some of my co-workers, it's time to hang up the cleats. No later than the end of the year. I've enjoyed myself up until now. It sucks to watch it all turn to shit. Early days though, maybe it'll improve.

Though I shan't hold my breath ...

/rant



¹ Can they be a pain in the ass? Certainly.
² Airborne Warning and Control System.
³ Jules' Own Version of the International Algorithmic Language. I shit you not.

40 comments:

  1. Interesting mention of a work environment of “process being king”. In my experience it was called “form over substance”. Either one thrived on “Hotel Sierra” leadership.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Process people rename things so that they appear relevant to those who don't know any better.

      Process has its place, makes sure that nothing gets skipped, everything is done to produce a good product, even with people who don't all have the same level of ability. But when process becomes more important than the product ...

      You're doing it wrong.

      Delete
  2. Work is changing & not for the better? Next think you'll be thinking about the fine summer you're going to miss this year.... Good luck with making it to the end of the year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your comment could fall under the heading: "Things that keep me awake at night."

      I shall need all the luck I can get.

      Delete
    2. I have faith in you skill allowing to to make your own luck.

      Delete
  3. With that ending date the summer and fall will fly by Sarge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I don't want time to fly by too fast, there is still much fun to be had on 3 day weekends. But yes, before I know it I'll be wondering what to do all day long. (Heh, no, I won't, I already know what I'll be doing.)

      Delete
  4. Old joke: Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees? Because German soldiers like to march in the shade.

    As I recall none of the Allies fared well against the initial German attacks last century. Ditto against the Japanese.

    I think it a stretch to say that the French "captured" Moscow. They sort of occupied it for a few weeks, Interesting that history says France "captured" Moscow and held it for about a month, but Russia only "occupied" Paris for two months, long enough to change the name of the cafes to "bistro." But point taken, the French are not the military weaklings they are so often mocked as. Neither are the Poles (how many times has Poland been overrun? Yet where are the nations which conquered her? On the ash heap of history.).

    Process. Can seem useless, even stultifying, but when you are up to your nose in spoiled kimchee (can kimchee spoil?) it's what you fall back on to figure out what went wrong and where, "Hey! Someone did "K" before "J!" How did they do that? And no wonder we're in deep kimchee!" Not that I have anything against kimchee, mind, even though I prefer sauerkraut.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sarge, I am no fan of bureaucracies, and especially government bureaucracies of any kind. At least in the private sector, they occasionally get reviewed to see if their work is needed and necessary. I have precisely zero perception this is the case with the government ones. There is zero accountability to those who foot the bill ("It is important work, you see".)

    Here is hoping the last however long it is until retirement flies by.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bureaucracies are very good at one thing: enlarging the bureaucracy.

      Delete
  6. Some people are VERY impressed by stacks of green-bar paperein binders. I had a boss who would have me carry several, inches thick, and put them by the podium he had just stepped up to give his presentation. He'd thank me, I'd leave. Purely a prop, had nothing to do with the topic or presentation. I wonder, now, if they were glad he didn't "get into to details"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, presentations with large stacks of material. I would either leave, if possible, or tune the presenter out. Stacks of printouts scare me.

      Delete
    2. Admiral Hopper would bring a little red wagon, with wood stake sides full of materials, when she would brief Congress. Nailed to the front of the wagon was a long dowel, used as a Flagstaff for the Jolly Roger she flew, instead of her single star Rear Admiral ( Lower Half ) flag.

      Delete
    3. Admiral Hooper ... spent a day "working" for her in the late 1960's. Smart, polite, kind, curious, funny, demanding best quality work, lavish with praise ... I don't think I ever had a better boss.

      Delete
    4. USS HOPPER (DDG-70) is named after RADM Grace Hopper. A fitting honor for a great scientist, officer, educator and leader.
      JB

      Delete
    5. A well-named warship, unlike some others I could name ...

      Delete
  7. Served with two Frenchmen (well one was a Corsican but he was in their service) I would gladly have entrusted my life to either of them.
    As for the majority of my NATO colleagues; not so much.
    Boat Guy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so get that.

      (Ahem, Napoléon was Corsican ... Just saying ... 😉)

      Delete
    2. My friend was a wiry little guy, built like a gymnast. Very fond of knives (gave me a couple of NICE ones).
      Type casting?
      BG

      Delete
  8. Just to say thank you again.
    I was working late last night 'til about 0430 trying to get a site debugged (I'm writing in php - don't say it - I still can 't get my head around React).
    I pried them open about 1000, took my vitals (my doc's requirement) and started reading my favorite list of blogs; to see what's going on in the world.
    Yours: with that sharp blue font, was the only one I didn't get a squinting hangover reading; it really is a blessing für die Ältesten.
    Thank you - again and again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eventually I'll figure out how to "easily" do the comments in the same format. (Along with the links in the sidebar, etc., etc. I know where, and how, but if I break things under the hood, not sure how long it would take to recover.)

      Delete
    2. Another satisfied customer!

      Not that it makes any difference, but I've grown rather fond of the blue text as well.

      Delete
  9. Good insights into the challenges of combined operations, and opportunities therein to become ineffective. Neat segway into other work environments.

    Sounds like a decision has been made and one is only haggling over the price- how much suckage is acceptable before the unknown joys of freedom will be tasted. There is no wrong answer, but at some point job satisfaction and cash flow benefits will become inverse and the answer will be obvious.
    JB

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is definitely a balance there. Kinda like watching the fathometer get closer and closer to test depth, then watch it go past that.

      I did receive some good news this morning vis à vis work, which will make work much more enjoyable. Details will follow at some point.

      Delete
  10. Sarge,
    I don't have much experience with NATO, only a TDY to pick up a couple of F-4's and bring them back to Moody. At Army Command and Staff, all groups got a representative from the other three services and a foreign officer also. My staff group was stuck with me, but our "foreign" officer was an Aussie. Man! Did we have fun! That having been said, other staff groups foreign officers covered a wide scope of skills, intelligence, English proficiency...The list goes on. Wasn't as much fun for some of them. Sounds like you were pretty lucky.
    juvat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was. Having a really good boss was key, but the ability to speak the local lingo also helped.

      Delete
  11. When Clancy published Red October, he was investigated because they thought he had illegal access to info. When I read: "there is no new chapter to Uprising," I had an evil thought that it was because the Feds raided your house to find out who leaked what they're doing!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Excellent to hear you're decided to retire, Sarge. Keep yourself busy, maybe pick up something else you've wanted to try, or enjoy the activities you have now. If you feel yourself getting down in the dumps for no reason, it's normal. It's a major change in your routine, and it'll take a while to adjust. AMHIK, if you're curious.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, this is my second retirement so I understand some of that. But this time I won't have to look for another job. (I spent two months "unemployed" between leaving the USAF and starting the current gig.)

      Delete
    2. I'm short final behind you and will cap it off not later than the end of the year. As Drjim observes, keep busy. Failure to do so is the bane of all of us retired military types. Keep writing as you have interesting things to say.

      Delete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

NOTE: Comments on posts over 5 days old go into moderation, automatically.