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Praetorium Honoris

Monday, May 27, 2019

The Purge

I hope everyone is having a relaxing, restful, reflective Memorial Day.  Sarge did an excellent lead up to the Holiday and gave us several different areas to think about.  I've got nothing to add except to say a prayer of thanks to the Lord for putting those people on this Earth.  They made it a better place and we should all strive to live up to their sacrifice and make the world an even better place.

/Sermon

One thing I've noticed about Texans is they always seem to be looking at the ground.  Folks in Cities seem to walk the sidewalks looking down at something in their hand.  I think it's some kind of  camera that takes a movie of what's in front of them and displays it on that device so they can, usually sometimes occasionally once in a blue moon, avoid running into the person or thing in front of them.  Pretty cool device.

When it works.

However, country folks in Texas also seem to look down when they're walking around their property.  I wondered why that is, but never being one to pass up sage advice of those who have gone before me, I've taken up the custom.

As those who have read some of my posts from the last 2-3 weeks know, there's been some heavy rain in the area.  Most of the flooding has drained off and our stock ponds are down by about 6 feet.  Leaving about 6-12' remaining.  




Two Weeks Ago
Standing in basically the same place yesterday

The road has drained off also and the damage is as bad as expected.  Got the first bidder coming out this week to take a look and tell me the bad news.  We shall see what we shall see.

But that rain, has caused the grass to grow quite prolifically.  Unfortunately, "Tony the Hay Guy" is unavailable to cut and bail it which has left it quite long.  The horses would love to have a go at it, however, their Doctor put them on a restricted diet and confined them to the corral due to early indications of Laminitis.  He used the word "Euthanasia" as a possible outcome if not treated effectively.

Well....That got my attention.

So, we've been going up to the barn to feed them once a day, one flake of hay, some heartworm medicine, some vitamin and mineral substitutes as well as just check on them.

Hey, it gives me something to do.

Couple of days ago, I'm walking up there through the tall grass, doing that Texas Thing (looking at the ground).



See it?
Mrs J is walking along behind me.  In her Flip Flops.  (She's from Wisconsin, I've tried to explain things to her, but I'm her husband, what do I know?)

I motion for her to stop and she bumps into me.  I start to back up which forces her to back up also.  She's asking questions and I point to the spot on the ground shown about a third of the way down from the top of the above photo.  Yes...It's a snake.

We wait patiently for a few moments, as the snake evaluates the situation and decides to move on.  After about 6' of movement, his tail comes into view and, fortunately, there are no rattles.  It's a  Bull Snake, which makes it an ally, not a foe, in the ongoing fight against rodents..
Source



Having encountered one before (possibly even this one),  Mrs J and I (as well as Dr Jones) are of a mind on this particular subject. Consequently, the Snake shall now be known as "Reggie".

Turning to things of a more domestic nature, and because Memorial Day has a Military aspect to it, I would like to discuss an advantage of Military life that I did not begin to appreciate until this weekend.

As most folks, be they Military, Ex-Military, or just regular folks with a modicum of intellect (which leaves out most College Faculty and Students as well as Members of both Houses in Congress), are aware members of the Military tend to move often.  Generally at least every 3 years, sometimes more often.

When I retired from the Air Force at the age of 43, I counted up the times I changed my mailing address throughout my life.  That number was 49, which may have been understated by a couple that happened when I was in swaddling clothes, but 49 is a lot.

That meant I had seen a lot of the world.  Cool!

It also meant that I knew how to move.  Useful!

It also meant that I knew how to purge.

Purge, juvat?  Whatever do you mean?  Certainly not THIS definition?

No, Grasshopper, getting rid of unused, unwanted things, AKA crap!

Given the weight limits the military imposes on a service member to move, getting rid of stuff was mandatory.

Unfortunately, "stuff" reproduces more rapidly than over-sexed rabbits.  Exponentially exponentially.

So, Mrs J and I got to be pretty good at getting rid of stuff.

However, our last move was 20 years ago.  We've been in place for 20 years and have fallen out of practice in getting rid of "stuff"!

So, this weekend, my Commander-In-Chief, Mrs J, declared War (yes, it was confirmed by both the Texas Legislature, the US Congress and signed by DJT himself).   In a stirring speech she said  "We shall fight the junk in the Carport, in the closets, in the spare bedrooms, on the screened in Patio.  We shall never Surrender!"

Here's a slightly less stirring version of her speech that some piker plagiarized from her and time traveled back to June 4, 1940 to deliver it and steal her thunder..




In any case, that is why my usual pithy (No, Beans, not pissy, pithy!) commentary has been sparse lately.  We met with initial success in the battle of the Master Closet.  We can see the floor now and  16 x 33 Gal trash bags of clothing has been repatriated from the battleground to charity.




The broken chest of drawers that was awaiting me to get a "round to" for repair had been transferred also.  (Yes I repaired the drawer).  Thankfully, an old friend who was MIA was found and rescued.




Unfortunately, it is not without loss on our part.  Many of my beloved T-shirts, with pithy comments of course, are no more.  Some, but not all, will live on as rags in my workshop.

However, though the Battle of the Master Closet is over, the war is not yet won.  The Battle of the Screened-in Porch is nigh.  The penultimate battle will be the Battle of the Storage Shed, where Intel indicates that the Enemy has enlisted support from Red Wasps, Scorpions, Spiders and, possibly, some of Reggie's less friendly cousins.

Finally, as any great Commander knows, thanking and rewarding her warriors with the spoils of war encourages them to strive harder in further battles.


Lost booty found during the Battle of the Spare Bedroom was consumed with a Steak and Baked Potato

Essayons!
 
Source

37 comments:

  1. Ya..... was thinking Texas.......snek land (shudder). Good luck on the upcoming campaign, a good battle-plan involves plenty of bags, good gloves, a can of insect spray, a minimal amount of looting (detracts from that battle-plan) and an occasional libation to wet down the dry throat. By the bye the flags have been planted along the street just as the rains arrived, Heaven will be weeping this day here. A post nicely done juvat.

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    1. Thanks. Fortunately, this is only the third snake I've seen on our property in the 20 years we've lived here. Of course, "seen" is the operative word.

      Seems like rainy weather is going to be prevalent this year all over. I can never remember is it "Global Warming" or "Global Cooling" this week?

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  2. "Too much stuff" is a problem many of us have, dealing with it before you were physically forced to is an admirable thing!

    "Forced to" you ask? I'll bet you had room to have a pole barn put up, that can delay having to deal with "too much stuff" for years!

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    1. Actually, the storage shed is a pole barn and since stuff has been in there for 20 years so should be easy to do. Other than the physical labor part, of schlepping boxes into the truck and out to the dump. But, as Yul Brynner has said, "So it is written, so it shall be."

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  3. Watch out! Warm, wet weather breeds spiders. I guess I had a go round with one. Little spot on the left ankle became a giant knot with a weeping hole in it. Angry red welt all around. Swelling like I've never had before... 2 courses of miracle drugs, some steroids, 2 penicillin shots (in the cheek!!!) 3 doctor visits.... Expensive spider kiss. It's almost done, but I still get stabs of pain throughout the day. I'd suggest "nuking it from orbit, just to be sure"... I've been bit by a lot of insects, but this one, sheesh.....

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    1. Yikes, I'd classify that experience solidly in the "Not Fun" category. Yeah, that project will be a long sleeve, gloves, boots kinda day. Hope you heal soon!

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  4. Sunny and cool here today, but I saw the firs garter snake the other day. Not anywhere as big as Reggie, thank goodness!!!

    The Purge Battle is underway here at The Farm as well. The closet in the Spare Bedroom has disgorged out to about half way across the room, so I have been sorting through and throwing out and am winning the battle. I think. However, not much battling going on here today. We are off to the brother-in-law's for a Memorial Day picnic. But, yes, pole barns can hold enormous amounts of 'stuff', which certainly does seem to reproduce like over active bunnies. Ask me how I know.


    Wishing all here a blessed Memorial Day. May your memories of friends and comrades help assuage the pain of their loss.

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    1. Thanks Suz, Best of luck in the on-going fight. Enjoy the picnic and family.

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  5. Ah yes, the "Haven't moved in twenty years syndrome." We suffer from that as well. The Missus Herself holds the occasional purge to make room in the house.

    For newer stuff.

    Great post, juvat.

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    1. Yes, well there is the "newer stuff" aspect to the battle, and I'm as guilty of it as Mrs J. Some of it is the kids, moving out for college, then to an apartment for work, then to an overseas assignment. Do they still want the stuff or not? But sure as heck, if we throw something out.....
      Thanks. Great series of Memorial Day posts BTW!

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    2. You did pick up on my subtle tip of the hat to your Alma Mater, right?

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  6. We have some rather impressive timber rattlers here in the unglaciated zone of Wisconsin.

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    1. Not a fan of snakes in general, poisonous ones even more so. Mrs J was raised in Appleton, so pretty much a city girl. She's beginning to realize the usefulness of closed toed shoes, so there is hope.

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  7. Yipes! Glad you saw that snake first. Strangely enough, I don't think there are snakes over around these parts. I did see a half-buried item in the sand while running the Hannibal race a few months ago. I steered clear of it. Nice work on the purge and I'm happy you found your helmet!

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    1. Me too, and from about 10' away. Not sure if my heart would have handled it if I'd stepped on it first. Steering clear of things buried in the sand is always a wise move. The best thing that can happen if you mess with something like that is nothing and goes quickly downhill from there.

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  8. Oh, no!
    Not the t-shirts.
    I pray MB doesn’t see this post because I’d bet that would be here takeaway.
    Then my wardrobe would shrink immensely.
    The ball caps have already been relegated to a large tote in the garage.

    I feel fortunate that there’ve been no encounters with poisonous snakes.
    However, I have met a good share of the others and agree it’s nice to have most of them around.

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    1. Well....I didn't get rid of ALL of them, just most of them. Which, of course, leaves room for new ones. ;-)

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  9. Good luck in your Purge War. Be careful, the enemy is persistent and often comes back. Fortunately, a local realtor has an annual yard sale with all the neighborhood filling out their driveways with junk on a certain Saturday in June. It's well advertised and we often bring in a couple hundred dollars when we participate. I've been better at not collecting stuff though.

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    1. Living out in the country, we don't really have neighborhoods. Closest neighbors are about 1/2 mile away and since we're pretty well off the beaten path, a yard sale here would be basically "everybody pass your junk clockwise this time". So donating the still wearable clothes to Goodwill is probably the best we can do.

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  10. So sorry about the laminitis. Hope that it works out to a happy conclusion.
    On the other note, we lived in Santa Cruz house for almost fifty years. Nothing there (except books and cooking gear) was needed in the new headquarters - Florida Condo. The value of stuff plummeted after several seasons of purchasing storage. Kept a few things. My flight helmet (like you), misc flight logs and pictures. But remember, if you are truly trying to turn into a red-neck, you can put the stuff out in the yard and the grass (by your own admission) will grow over it in no time. This will have the additional benefit of keeping the snakes out of your house. They will love the piles of detritus and will make cozy nests therein.

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    1. Ok, then....Not in the yard, but in the farthest corner of the property, possibly behind the stock pond which is nearly unreachable even on a good day. With my helmet in the helmet bag was my kneeboard which had the mission data card from my last flight on it. Think I'm going to build a shadow box for that. Soon.

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    2. Well THAT was a great find! Makes all the effort a bit more tolerable, no? Shadow box sounds like a nice way to deal with it - While I assume the helmet is a bit too big for a shadow box, have it near by and have a good pic of it in the box.

      And thanks for not reflexively killing the snake. While I don't want poisonous ones around the house, all the others are welcome to eat all the mice and tats (and small poisonous snakes) they want to. Wish I could get my wife to realize that not all snakes are bad - she called me one day saying she had killed a cobra in the back yard - and while I know there are occasionally zoo escapes, it was, as I feared, a hognose snake just doing its defensive posture thing.

      I still have managed to save few of my old T-shirts - they are fun to 'discover' every so often and remember where and when I came by them ...

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    3. Well, since the snake hadn't coiled up or showed any aggressive behavior, I wasn't overly worried about it. I was about 10' or so away when I spotted it. And since I had had the snot scared out of me in the previous encounter with Reggie before I recognized the type, I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

      I managed to convince Mrs J that T-shirts are a good uniform for working in the woodshop and I should be allowed to keep a few for that purpose and when they get old, stained and torn convert them into rags. She, recognizing the anguish on my face, relented.....somewhat.

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  11. I did not totally know until I moved quarters from a very stuffed 3 bedroom house with 2 car garage and a shed and a back porch all full of stuff to a 1 bedroom apartment with a 10x10 storage locker that I was a packrat. It was as savage a move and selection process as one would ever see. Gone my fabric collection, gone were all sorts of things not used in years, just... gone. Oh well.

    So I feel for you. We haven't had a real purge in 20 years or so, and too much carp accumulated. Still feels good to have divested, but at the same time...

    So... What type of van/suv do you all have?

    And Mrs. J walking around a farm without closed shoes? Lemme guess, she runs the mower in flops, too, amiright? Some people...

    Looking down in our modern cities seems to be the only way to avoid piles of filth and waste, so maybe the small electronic devices are waste and filth detectors, no?

    And Mrs. J just found out one of the reasons to look down while walking on pastures and farms. The other reason is various gopher holes, armadillo holes, nutria holes, rat holes, snake holes, owl holes, ant holes (be really bad to shamble into a fire-ant pile) and various a-holes....

    You need to make a helmet stand or a wall rack for your noggin cover. Something like that needs to live out where any and all can see and admire and understand why, when talking, you are always either flashing your watch of the day or shooting your hands.

    Good luck on the continued purge.

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    1. That photo was actually of Mrs J's car. It's a Ford Transit. The kids call it "The Clown Car". When I drive it, the roof is about 18" above my head. Mrs J isn't as tall as I am. I have, on multiple occasions, done a double take when I see her driving it, just to make sure she's actually in it. Hence, clown car. As to when she's riding the lawn mower, no, she suits up for that pretty well. Hat, hard soled shoes, long pants etc.

      I've been contemplating how to display the helmet since I found it again, haven't got a good idea yet. The stand might have possibilities.

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    2. A simple post with a turned bowl shape for the crown of the helmet works, kinda like...

      https://www.sword-wholesale.com/Solid-and-Sturdy-Wooden-Display-Stand-for-Medieval-p/ws-602.htm

      I have seen people do a wall-mounted version for their helms. Basically like a candle sconce, except bigger, stronger, heavier etc... Either way, make sure the turned portion is large and matches the curve of the inside of the helmet.

      The wall hanger also offers a place to display the helmet bag, if you so desire...
      Unless you want to do the whole clear box museum presentation thingy.

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    3. The helmet stand looks doable and might work. The museum presentation would be the preferred method...If I had a place to put it. Which starts to violate the theme of the post, I think. (Will check with Mrs J for definitive answer ;-) )

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  12. And on a more somber note, found this over at knuckledraggin.

    https://imprimis.hillsdale.edu/sacred-duty-soldiers-tour-arlington-national-cemetery/

    Godspeed to those that have fallen.

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    1. outstanding article which caused some dust in the room to irritate my eyes - I was just checking to make sure someone had posted a link here - thanks, Beans!

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    2. Thanks, Beans. Excellent link.

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  13. A helmet looks pretty nice atop a book case, particularly if you balance it with an appropriate sized model of your plane painted in the scheme you flew with the Juvats.

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    1. That's an idea, Dave. And I've got a two ship of Eagles that fit the bill.

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  14. Yep, it's amazing what one tends to 'collect' when you're not moving on a regular basis... But thankfully I don't have to move that damn gun safe again... sigh

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    1. Good point. That would be the point where I reach in my wallet and pay someone with a much younger back to move it for me.

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