It was a dark and stormy night ...
No, really, it was, but that came later.
Monday night, the end of week one of "just me and the cat" as The Missus Herself is still out west visiting The WSO and her tribe.
I am surviving, it ain't pretty, but I'm surviving. Anya, our feline overlord, is slowly beginning to realize that it's TMH who makes things actually run smoothly around Chez Sarge. While I am somewhat amusing, I am simply a cog in the machine. Anya is content as long as I don't mind being prodded at 0400 for the daily "turn on the faucet in the bathtub" ritual. (Cats like drinking running water, or so I've read. Anya never really cared until lately. Perhaps it's her advanced age, perhaps she simply read the same article that I did.)
In point of fact, I don't mind the "hey, bathtub" ritual as I usually have to get up at that hour anyway. For to check the weather, make the rounds of the battlements, and, well, you know, take a leak.
But Monday instant was a cavalcade of mistakes, missteps, and miscalculations. While work was just fine, as soon as I got home things got interesting. I took my glasses off to peruse my new passport. Then walked into the other room to hang my jacket up, prompting the "where are my glasses" game.
Which was followed by the "I meant to spill your water dish all over the kitchen floor" extravaganza. Which, of course, necessitated me cleaning up said spilled water while having my cat look at me like I am some kind of idiot.
Which I probably am ...
Anyhoo.
Decided to bagel it up for dinner and have a decaf coffee as an accompaniment. I have to admit, I was pretty excited, after all, we're talking cinnamon raisin bagels. One of my absolute favorites.
Yes, I know, my life is a bit dull.
Anyhoo.
Toasted the bagel, lathered it with cream cheese, sat down and ate said bagel while re-reading Len Deighton's Blitzkrieg.
Finished the bagel, the coffee (but not the book), then proceeded to do the washing up.
As I put the last dish away I happened to glance at the thing we keep our K-Cups in. I recall coming home and seeing two Sumatra Reserve and two Donut Shop Decaf cups in the rack.
Guess which coffee had been reduced from two cups to one? That's right boys and girls, it was NOT the decaf. Oh shit oh dear, I was facing the prospect of being up all night. Caffeine does keep me awake.
Normally ...
Monday last was an exception, I was not up all night, not at all. I guess I was tired enough to go to sleep right away at around 2200 (1o PM for you civvies).
Then awaken at 2300 ...
And again at 0100 ...
Can you say "play it again" at 0230 ...
Then there was the ever popular, "Hey human, it's 0400, I need you to turn on that bathtub faucet so I can drink some water." I didn't awaken on my own for that one, Anya "encouraged" me to do so.
Finally, at 0530, I decided that enough was enough and climbed out of bed.
So that's why you get musings and not a book post.
Sorry.
I blame the caffeine.
I forgot the whole "dark and stormy night" thing, didn't I? At 2300 hours, the first time I woke up, the wind was flinging rain against the side of the house like the end of the world was nigh. Just thought I'd mention that.
I used to drink gallons of coffee a day, now I have to skip any caffeine drinks after 1400. Things changed as I got older...
ReplyDeleteI have experienced much the same thing.
DeleteCoffee used to keep me awake. One cup after 3:00 in the afternoon meant a long night of tossing and turning. Now, I can drink it anytime, fall asleep within minutes, and will sleep for at least 3 hours. Of course, if I still had a set schedule, it might be different, but it is what it is.
ReplyDeleteNot having a set schedule, I am so looking forward to that.
DeleteNot having a set schedule takes some getting used to. Your wife will have a big impact on that. In fact, I'd bet The Missus Herself and The WSO are finalizing it as we speak.
DeleteFor your benefit, of course.
The Missus Herself knows better. At least I hope she does.
DeleteI love all animals; even snakes, but the cats I've had were very controlling: just like an old girlfriend I never (TG) married. My dog(s) would never even think of waking me, for any reason, unless there were a person interested in a portal at an unusual hour.
ReplyDeleteControlling? Cats? No ... (This is my surprised face.)
DeleteJust think of the electricity you're saving because Anya provides that wake-up service, granted too early yet...........:)
ReplyDeleteI typically wake up at least 15 minutes before the alarm. Twenty-four years in the military will do that for you.
DeleteHave you considered putting the stopper in the bathtub drain and "accidentally" brushing the cat into said tub some time???
ReplyDeleteWater doesn't faze her.
DeleteI get the running water thing, but 0400? Really Anya? Can't you sleep in a little?
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the temporary bachelorhood. If you can survive on carbs and caffeine that is.
She does cut me some slack on weekends, letting me sleep until 0830 before demanding her breakfast.
Delete(Don McCollor)...My cat has two full bowels of perfectly fresh water. Turn the kitchen sink tap on and she jumps up and laps like a camel that just crossed the Sahara...
DeleteExactly!
DeleteSarge, I have to cut off caffeinated substances at 1000 or I risk the same thing - and that time continues to be pulled back in. Honestly, I find if I have alcohol after 1800 it has the same effect of poor sleep.
ReplyDeleteA The Cat has also taken to drinking from the faucet. He will conveniently place himself on the counter whenever someone goes into the bathroom in "hopes" one will see him and turn the faucet on.
The Ravishing Mrs. TB and all of Na Clann are out of the house and I am on my own until Sunday night. I have no illusions that things similar to what you relate are bound to occur.
You are singing the song of my people!
DeleteWe drink a lot of coffee. Usually five pots a day. Caffeine helps our ADHD, it's the only stimulant I can use with my epilepsy history. Little roaster near us, Cameron Coffee, is now making "Jumpstart Blends" with double the normal caffine levels. Cuts down on the bathroom trips.
ReplyDeleteMore bang for the buck!
DeleteHey Sarge, it could been worse; "dark roast" usually has less caffeine than the medium ones.
ReplyDeleteOur dogs are pushing 12 and have been awakening one or the other of us regularly, even frequently through the night; but have abstained for the last three. Not getting out of bed until "time" has been a delicious treat.
I will own to one cup of Black Rifle "CAF" before making dark roast for my Bride.
Boat Guy
I did not know that! Good to know.
DeleteI perk a pot and usually have it down by the end of breakfast. I eat big early, then what ever I can find for lunch. Evening is a snack, like you. I haven't had too much trouble with sleeping if I drink coffee at night. Just luck I guess. Or I haven't had the stubfart OS update yet.
ReplyDeleteNo pets for me right now. I was working with an old dog that smelled like rot and itched all over. Getting him bathed was too much at this point and he went back to the grand kids. But the stuff I found for him, sure slicked him off and took away the smell and the constant itching. That dinovite stuff really works. I guess it's like a yeast infection or some such.
I do miss having a four footed friend.
I used to skip breakfast, not any more, it's my favorite meal.
DeleteUp every 2 hours is my normal routine. Prostate thing I guess. Caffeine isn't the issue. Yes, it's horrid. I have some sleep disorder that is un-fixable. I try to cut off all liquids after 1900. Doesn't help. It is what it is. Actually had 4 hours uninterrupted sleep the other night. That was heavenly. Last night? Up every 2 hours. lol My favorite pod coffee is called Da Bomb. Extra Caffeine and Dark Roasted. For coffee beans I order from my old place New Moon Cafe in Oshkosh WI. They have a roast called South 605 that is excellent. Aaron does small batch roasting on site every week, personally overseeing every roast. Nectar of the Gods!
ReplyDeleteCinnamon Raisin Bagels are the best. You have most excellent taste Sir.
Every two hours, yup, it's an age thing I believe.
DeleteStandard routine on getting underway was rig the goat locker for red, drink enough coffee so that we could hit the rack, pass out for three hours, then be fully awake. Eat, shower, etc. then go on watch for six. Port & Starb'd. Two three naps per twentyfour hours until pierside. I retired in 1998 after 26 years with a 15 year break. I still wake up every 3 hours but after a snack (mid-rats) can usually drift off. Two cups before 1000. Old Guns
DeletePort and starboard, Aye!
DeleteSumatran coffee! My favorite kind!
ReplyDeleteSorry you have the caffeine issues at night. I wake periodically most nights, but not from caffeine or bladder. Bad case of worn out back/body. I have to change positions to get comfortable again. Used to have the enlarged prostate/bladder issue at night until I started taking the right nutritional supplement.
Which nutritional supplement? (Inquiring minds want to know ...)
DeleteBeta Sitosterol. It is the main ingredient in several of the prostate remedies on the market. It has been proven in clinical trials to be as or more effective than the prescription medication Proscar (finasteride) without the side effects. My symptoms were greatly reduced within a month and gone within two. That was around 15 years ago. My PSA test numbers went from the high end of the normal range to the low side within two years. About four years ago I had to increase the small maintenance dosage slightly, but that eliminated the slight urgency I was beginning to have. The cost is low if you avoid the infomercial brands. Depending on availability & price, I source from either Swanson Vitamins or Amazon. I took double the standard dosage for the first two months then dropped back to the lower maintenance dosage.
DeleteThanks!
DeleteCaffeine, from soda, has no effect on me. Caffeine, from coffee, is a 'asthma closing lungs die now' relief. Otherwise Caffiene, from hot tea, has little to no effect on me. Effect being keeping me awake.
ReplyDeleteNow making me go pee every 2 hours or so... Yeah...
As to cats, had one cat, Deedee, who loved to keep us up at night and sleep during the day. One weekend we got revenge and kept her up all day on Saturday and Sunday. After that, she actively herded the other cats to bed at bedtime.
Use a cat to train a cat ...
DeleteVery wise!
I'm writing this at 03:28, so you should surmise this one hit home for me :-)
ReplyDeleteOuch!
Delete