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Praetorium Honoris

Wednesday, April 5, 2023

Midweek Aches and Pains and Music

 So, in these dark times, what has Beans done to himself lately is the most un-asked question ever.  So, well, here it goes.

Saturday just about died choking on air.  Inhaled, started choking, choking, chooooking.  Finally hacked up absolutely nothing after turning blue in the face.  Very weird, but this happens occasionally.  Just nothing to choke on except air.

Sunday saw me trip over my own feet as one of my little toes decided to firmly affix itself to the carpet causing me to fall while turning and fortunately the granite windowsill caught my hip and kept me from catapulting through the window.  Fortunately nothing was in my hands at the times, still hurt like the Dickens.

Sunday also saw the other little toe stretch out and snag... nothing and fold backwards yet again.  Quick grab, pull straight out away from foot, pop back into place, eh, same same.  One of these days I just need to cut those suckers off of me.  (No, not seriously, but they've been warped, broken, spindled, folded and ripped up so much that the end is now at a 90 degrees rotation from normal position, so I'm walking on the outside of the toe, basically.  Doc says it can be fixed but only once it becomes bad enough that it affects walking, like not being able to walk.

Sunday also saw my foot react violently to having a sandal-shoe put on it.  Weird. 

Monday was the day I tried to fork myself to death.  With a fork.  Spastic hand tried to shove a fork into my eye.  Weird.  

Today (Tuesday) saw me do nothing other than try to hide from the world.  Except we had to go to one of Mrs. Andrew's doctors.  Oh, look, there's a handicapped parking spot in front of the building (rather than having to drop her off and go park ten rows away like normal.)  Park, whip out Lurch the wonder-chair and go to extract Mrs. Andrew from the Van and lo and behold the HANDICAPPED PARKING SPOT is on such a tilt that the chair, which has a tilt-meter that shuts it off if it's tilted too much, shut off because the tilt was too much.  Get that, San Fransisco style street tilt in a handicapped parking spot.  Whodathunk?  Would it have killed someone to use a couple truckloads of fill and maybe spend $10,000 on a retaining wall to hold said fill so that the handicapped parking spot isn't at such a tilt?

Or, you know, put in more handicapped spots so that the doctor's office, which deals with almost 50% of mobility handicapped patients, has some room to park where the cars aren't shoved together?

Is it a physical impossibility for people who design or specify parking lots to actually use their friggin brains?

Like last year, when Mrs. Andrew was going to some rehab place so the person could talk to me and ignore her because people in wheelchairs are obviously deaf and mentally deficient.  Handicapped parking was in the lowest spot in the parking lot.  The handicapped ramp from the sidewalk leading into the building to the parking lot was at a legal angle to the parking lot.  The parking lot itself?  Tilted at a far more severe angle, so bad that when the van was parked parallel to the sidewalk I thought the van was going to fall over.  And, to make matters worse, remember parking at lowest spot in parking lot?  Well, during worse rainfall in years (2" in an hour) the said retention pond next to the handicapped parking filled and overflowed into the handicapped parking lot and if the van wasn't tall enough, we'd have had water in the van.

Seriously, planning parking lots.  How difficult can it be?  Why does it seem that the more degrees are required to design and regulate something, the actual usefulness and value of said something plummets?

Enough grumblings and physical mutilations.

On to Music.

I am a real fan of progressive rock (that is, rock that tends to be lyrical and musically complex, using orchestral concepts and such.  Thus, ELO, Moody Blues, Kansas, Styx, etc.

So there's this one song that earworms constantly. And it's a good one.  Mixture of really classical sounds, lyrical singing, obscure lyrics and all the other wonderful features of progressive rock (though this is more, according to Wiki, that it's a synthesis of psychedelic rock, proto-prog rock, blues and, who knows, west Mongolian throat singing or something. (last part added by me.)) That would be Procol Harum's "A Whiter Shade of Pale."

A Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum
50th Anniversary Stereo Edition

Lyrics

We skipped the light fandango
Turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
But the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
As the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
And the waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale

She said, "There is no reason
And the truth is plain to see. "
But I wandered through my playing cards
And they would not let her be
One of sixteen vestal virgins
Who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open wide
They might have just as well been closed

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale

She said, "I'm here on a shore leave,"
Though we were miles at sea.
I pointed out this detail
And forced her to agree,
Saying, "You must be the mermaid
Who took King Neptune for a ride. "
And she smiled at me so sweetly
That my anger straightway died.

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale

If music be the food of love
Then laughter is it's queen
And likewise if behind is in front
Then dirt in truth is clean
My mouth by then like cardboard
Seemed to slip straight through my head
So we crash-dived straightway quickly
And attacked the ocean bed

And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale



Then, over on Borepatch's site, on Sunday, he presented the theme to the movie "The Seven Samurai."  Which, if you follow the comments, led to me commenting on the music for the movie "The Magnificent Seven" (the real one, not the remake.) Borepatch: Fumio Hayasaka - Themes to The Seven Samurai

Which the music is really good, especially the theme music. Which is yet another really good earworm.

Theme from The Magnificent Seven - Elmer Bernstein

This is the type of unforgettable music that, well, is unforgettable.  Like I hadn't seen TMS for maybe 25 years and saw it pop up on the TV and immediately started doing the 'duh, duh-duh-duh-duh,' to it right off.  Really good.

Onward to a week of no personal injuries!!!!  WHOOO!!! CHARGE!!! (Trips, fumbles, stumbles, curses, crawls away to a dark corner to hide from the world...)

25 comments:

  1. Medieval religious music in the middle of a metal concert by two of the most powerful metal singers around. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhtOORYTGx8

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    1. Coooooool! Must do a deep dive later when not fighting the forces of nature.

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  2. There may be a connection there Beans, more degrees = less common sense. Procol Harum, now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. No argument from me on music from The Magnificent Seven, local station ran ALL the movies last Sunday, boo to the remake! The original gets shown every few months in this neck of the woods.

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    1. And now I need to find the version with Yul and watch it.

      As to modern degree seekers, it seems they scoop out more and more of one's brain and replace it with some sort of central receiving technology as those higher and higher in degrees these days seem more and more programmed than learned. And the brain scoopers start with the common sense area.

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  3. Beans, I become increasingly concerned as I read your list of near misses. I fear the universe has it out for you for some reason.

    The 2010 remake of Thirteen Assassins (a very good one, by the by) has an excellent opening them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HstFLGTL_lg

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    1. The Universe has had it out for me for all my life.

      Really bad allergies, and I lived near Lompoc, rose capital of the world, for 6 years. Then another 9 in a subtropical area chock full of highly pollenating plants. Allergic to the color green. Allergic to a ton of other stuff. Not allergic to food, so far, knock on wood.

      And I am an accident collector. Especially when I was driving Ford vans. Seriously, have had two Ford vans and during the time I owed them, they were hit at least once a year. Weird.

      I must have peeved the universal powers-that-be somewhat fierce.

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  4. Thanks for posting, Beans. Now if the Universe would not try to kill you, that'd be great.

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    1. What's that phrase? Oh, yeah, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Bullshit. What doesn't kill you leaves you weaker and open for the next thing that's trying to kill you.

      But, yeah, my life, a comedy. A slap-stick, full Three Stooges dark comedy. But still a comedy.

      Hang in there. Life goes on. Blah Blah. I hate sucky days like these.

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  5. College has moved from education to indoctrination, thinking is punished. Now universities have been hotbeds of mindless leftism for more that a century, but now they no longer feel the need to hide it.

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    1. Same with the public school system and, sadly, the Catholic school system.

      Who knew 50 years ago that home schooling was the only way to get a decent education.

      Delete
  6. Beans,
    You don't happen to wear all black, always seem to have a rain cloud above you and in real life your name isn't Joe Btfsplk? Asking for a friend.

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    1. Black is too heat absorbing in Florida, though I do like muted colors and tans and such. And I wish a rain cloud was over my head all the time as the world outside my door is crunchy dry. Though I do identify more with Pigpen from "Peanuts" rather than Joe Btfsplk. Seriously, I can put clean clothes on and within 30 minutes, dirt and schmutz and gloop will be on me. And I travel in a small dust cloud. Seriously. It's true. Mrs. Andrew can attest to the truth.

      Given a chance, I could go through a whole-body decontamination (as found in the movie "The Andromeda Strain") and 30 minutes after putting on a moon suit and entering into a clean room, dust cloud...

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  7. I know the feeling. I'm sitting here with an orthopedic boot on my left leg. I tore the Achilles Tendon by just walking out the door to go to work about a month ago. No surgery required, just wear the boot until May / June. My Doc says we're taking this slow and easy because of my size and my age.

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    1. Haven't yet attained the status of having to wear prostetics, but... Last year, walking to the dumpster, I twisted my ankle and futzed up what's left of the arch in my right foot. By walking to the dumpster. Walking. Sigh. I'm actually safer when wearing my fighting armor, well, at least to me, not so much to those around me.

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  8. Beans, the handicap parking spot, if the slope exceeds more than 2% in any direction, the spot and the adjacent hatched area are not ADA compliant and need to be brought up to code. Not saying anything but the facility could be in a little legal trouble.

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    1. Yep. On the ramp thing, the ramp is at a 2% slope to the driveway. Not to the sidewalk.

      And it's Gainesville, where the rich and leftist can get away with anything they want, even violating ADA. My wife, who at one time was on a city board regarding ADA compliance, would often send info to the Governor's office because the City and so many big businesses openly and happily violated ADA.

      My wife has often described this city as a nice looking cake, pretty on the outside but rotten on the inside. And (POLITICAL ALERT) guess which political party dominates and controls this little berg?

      Sigh. This place would more fit in with California than the rest of Florida. Which is not surprising because this place has been known as the Berkeley of the South.

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    2. The parking area needs to be 2%, in both directions. the ramp from the parking can be 8.33% to the sidewalk. I work in checking the compliance area because I don't want my employer to be put in a legal liability issue.. ADA is not a local or state concern, it is a federal law. I'd like to discuss this more off site

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    3. I have a friend that has mobility issues and I help her negotiate how things are. I tend to be a bit more militant about the compliance issue now.

      Delete
  9. Beans, you have excellent taste in music! Thanks for sharing today's selections!
    May I recommend Arnicare Gel for your aches and bruises and contusions? I have it on auto-ship from Amazon.

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    1. Aches and pains I just deal with. Soaking in hot water and some ibuprophen seems to do the job so far, but I'll look into it. Thanks.

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  10. Beans, thanks for the memorable music! It brought back memories of long ago.
    I hate when they say “for your size and age”.
    Your post encouraged me not to feel sorry for this older person herein. The one who just had a Funtime gall bladder attack. Surgerizing is on the horizon after all of the testing has been done, providing providers with their May sailboat/ airplane payments. The surgery can’t be any worse than the symptoms IMHO.

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    1. Better to get it out now than to wait like my wife did until it went semi-septic and then have to wait 7 days on really good antibiotics before it was safe to remove.

      The gall bladder surgery is quick-ish and interesting. They poke holes in you, inflate the body cavity with air, gack the bladder out, then pull all the probes and tubes and such out and seal you up. And then you spend a week farting excessively as your body removes the air. Which means you feel bloated. But it's better than that beggar being there and trying to kill you.

      After effects are interesting. Some people the lack of a gall bladder means that any fatty food makes your digestive system into a funslide for poo, which also means that spicy-hot foods don't break down as easy and the burn at the end is worse than before. Others, like my wife, no noticable effect, even to eating hot peppers and such.

      Good luck, stay safe, and enjoy a gall-free life. Heck, I even think it's a day surgery now...

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    2. I had mine out some years back, outpatient thing. The only thing different I noticed is that I had no more pain from said gall bladder. Sure, everyone's different but that's my gall bladder removal tale.

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  11. Just watch out for Assault Extension Cords. They blend in so well you'll get nailed by one before you even see it!

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  12. It seems there is not a single movie made today with a memorable score. The last truly iconic score I can recall (quickly) is "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" from 1978. Very memorable. Everything nowadays is nothing but a momentary plagiarism on older, more worthy scores.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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