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Monday, November 27, 2023

Thanksgiving with the Juvats (Rerun)

 Sorry, Its been a busy month so far and I'm  fresh out of ideas.  On the focal point of  my life right now, Mrs. J has completed her first round of Chemo without significant issues.  She sleeps a lot and has little appetite, but other than that, things are going well so far.  I appreciate all the good thoughts and prayers from the readership of this blog.  I also appreciate our host for allowing me a day to write.  It tends to keep me a little more sane than might otherwise be the case.

So...

Thanksgiving with the Juvats

So, There I was….* Kunsan AB, ROK about 4 weeks before my DEROS (Date Estimated Return from Overseas, Hey, I don’t make the acronyms).  Under the leadership of the second worst president ever**, I’ve got almost 100 hours of operational time in the F-4 and can manage to at least hit the ground with my bombs and not myself, although that issue has been in doubt.  My next assignment will be to Moody AFB, GA where further adventures will abide and at least one life changing ceremony will take place, but that’s all in the future.  

For now my task as defined by my Squadron Commander, Lt Col Dick “Batman” Swope, is to plan and provision a Thanksgiving dinner for the 80TFS Pilots, WSOs and enlisted and the 80AMU, our maintenance personnel.
Batman takes Command of the Juvats
(USAF Photo)


  Now, Batman does not want cucumber sandwiches with tea for this soiree.  No, he wants Turkey, Dressing, Mashed potatoes, Pies, the whole 9 yards (which actually is a fighter pilot saying, Sarge should be able to tell you what it means). There’s one teensy weensy problem with this plan.  Kunsan’s “commissary” was comparable to an understocked 7-11 in what it carried in inventory.  On a good day, you might be able to purchase some peanut butter, no bread, but crackers (old, stale) to make yourself a snack.  Sodas were rationed more heavily than Beer.  Lunchmeat was generally green in tinge.  Finding the fixings to feed a couple of hundred folks might be hard.  Osan AB, the next closest base wasn’t a whole lot better.  What to do?

We had a new guy join our squadron just prior to this whose previous assignment had been Okinawa. He reported that the commissary there was very well stocked and he could probably get someone to procure the groceries if I could find a way to transport them to Kunsan.

I checked with the MAC detachment and they said they could not transport, on Military Aircraft, any victuals (they actually used that word) intended for private functions.  (I wondered if they knew about Air Force One?)

I then realized that I was a pilot of an aircraft with the ability to carry a significant payload.  Now if I could just find a baggage pod.  I knew they existed, but hadn’t seen any around.  My Dad had always told me if you need information, find the oldest NCO around.  They know everything. So, I found the guy driving the maintenance truck on the line, he looked ancient like he might have been 35 or so.  I asked him about baggage pods.  He asked why so I told him about Batman’s party.  He said if I’d save him a pair of Drumsticks, he’d get them for me.  Done.
Note baggage pod under left wing. We had one under each on both Jets.  Not an 80TFS bird, but TX ANG, given the copyright restrictions, almost as good.
Source: commons.wikimedia.org

Now, I've just got to convince Batman to let me have an airplane for a weekend.  Realizing that, one, this is during the reign of the second worst president ever, so flying hours are scarce and two, that I have a very limited number of them under my belt, this is going to be a hard sell.  But this is HIS party, so I've got that going for me.

After a 5 minute meeting during which I described the logistical problem in great detail, he interrupts me and says why don’t I find a flight lead and two WSO's that want to take a trip to Clark with a stop enroute at Kadena to order supplies, a day at Clark to rest and recuperate, then a return stop at Kadena to pick up the supplies?  What a great idea!  Wish I’d have thought of Clark in my version!

All of a sudden, I've got LOTS of friends in the squadron!

I get a flight lead, a Captain from Alabama, who speaks with a very slow, very deep drawl.  My WSO is also a Captain, usually rambunctious, but competent.  Lead’s WSO I have no recollection about.  We brief the mission and the supply requirements and get ready to launch.

Now, back then there were things like ADIZs ( Air Defense Identification Zones) to contend with. Radar Flight Tracking wasn't anywhere near as complete as it is now.  One would be out of Radar Coverage and Radio coverage for long sections of time.  I had never done anything like this and neither had my flight lead. The WSO’s had however, so we were comfortable.  

Launch out of Kunsan and exit Korean Airspace south of Cheju Do.  Very quiet for a while and then we start to approach Japanese Airspace.  Lead calls for a radio change and attempts to contact the Japanese air traffic control at Fukuoka.  Now, let me explain this.  Their callsign was Fukuoka Control, pronounced Foo Koo Oh' Ka.  Lead is from Alabama.  He can NOT say this in a manner recognizable to the Japanese!  This is a family blog, but it shouldn’t take much for you to imagine how he was trying to pronounce it.  And the guy on the other side was not having any of it.  Lead would make an attempt and the controller would say “No! Foo’ Koo Oh' Ka! With the accent being on whichever syllable Lead screwed up. This went on for about 15 minutes.  My WSO and I are laughing so hard, I am having a hard time flying formation for the tears in my eyes.  Finally the controller gives up and passes us off to some other sector controller with a much more pronounceable name. 

We land at Kadena, get checked in to the VOQ, call our contact and pass them the list, and then race out Gate two for a little time on the town.  First time with Kobe Beef.  Marvelous stuff that.

Next morning, we blast off and as we pass Miyako-Jima, lead calls and tells me his centerline tank isn't feeding.  He won’t have enough gas to make it to Clark, so he’s turning around and going back to Kadena.  Why don’t I go on ahead to Clark, and oh, by the way, would I pick up his crocodile skin boots while I’m there? 

He turns around and disappears back to the north.  I look in and the TACAN is searching for a lock on and will continue that, unsuccessfully, for the next hour and a half.  I’m driving on, looking around at a whole lot of not much to see, and notice that my WSO was unusually quiet.  I ask him what’s going on, and he says he’d called home last night to talk to his wife and she had informed him she wanted a divorce.  As nonchalantly as I could, I asked him if he’d mind switching the radar to air to ground mode and run it out to max range.  I figured a dead reckoning heading would get me close enough to find Luzon on the radar.

My R and R at Clark consisted of escorting a highly inebriated WSO around various locales, to include a boot shop and the Nipa Hut, and then finally carrying him to his rack at Chambers Hall.  It’s what we do.

Sunday morning, he’s surprisingly chipper, hale and hearty.  We blast off, and make our way back to Kadena.  Land, Dearm and get directed to park in front of the tower.  As I pull into the parking space and shut down, I notice a small Nissan station wagon pull up under one of my wings.  I get out as the crew chief begins refueling the jet.  Walk over to the Nissan and Lead is there setting up a conga line passing turkeys from the car to the pods.  We load a dozen turkeys into each of the baggage pods.  All the rest of the groceries are already loaded in Lead’s pods. 

Dinner loaded, Dzus fasteners tightened, Fuel in the tanks, Lead runs over to his jet, straps in and gives me the fire up signal.  Dash-60s roar and soon, so do we.  Blast off, get handed off to Fukuoka Control.  I’m waiting for the encore, but Lead comes through.  (Later found out, that his WSO had spent his R and R buying beer for Lead all the while conducting diction lessons on how to pronounce the name, not wanting to restart WWII after all.)

Re-enter Korean Airspace, come down initial at Kunsan. Not wanting to re-enact an episode from WKRP in Cincinatti, we gently pitch out and land.  

We’re met in the dearm area by the maintenance bread van and several maintainers.  Dzus fasteners opened and another conga line from pods to van.  The NCOIC says the Security Police had heard about the party and were looking to confiscate the “contraband”.  

Pod empty of all but our skivvies and a pair of crocodile boots, we taxi back to the shelters.  Shut down and are met by the SPs and the drug dogs.  Dogs sniff all around and start howling at the pods, we open them up for the cops and show them they’re empty.  Clearly disappointed, they leave empty handed.  Some of the turkeys were dispersed to all the O-5s since they were the only ones with ovens in their quarters.  The remaining turkeys were taken to the O’Club where we've bribed negotiated with Mr. Kim the manager to allow us to cook them. I think the cost was two cooked turkeys to serve to the other, uninvited, wing personnel.

Thanksgiving arrives and my clan, warriors all, has gathered.  The two reserved drumsticks are paid to the Maintenance NCOIC, prayers were said, the appropriate toasts were given and dinner is served.  

The Juvats***
(USAF Photo, of which I own a copy)

 
Post Script.  I ran into Batman a couple more times in my career.  When I was at CincPac, he was the 13AF Commander at Andersen AFB Guam.  Later, while I was on the Joint Staff at the Pentagon, he was the USAF IG. He and I retired from the Air Force on the same day.  I was a Lt Col, he was a Lt Gen.  Sadly, I've learned he passed away in 2011 at 68. RIP.
 
* Standard Juvat Entry Point
**Both of which have been in office since I went to College. 
***Yeah, I'm in the picture as is Conehead, my WSO.  First person to ID get's a frozen turkey dropped at their house at 550 K.  Choose wisely, those who get it wrong get two turkeys dropped.

42 comments:

  1. (pointing) That's you, right there, the respectable looking one!

    Great story!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joe,
      "Respectable"? Why that's the nicest thing anyone's ever called me!
      Thanks
      juvat

      Delete
    2. I think he's wanting a WKRP Turkey sent his way.
      Got a helicopter handy?
      juvat

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    3. Just being my normal obnoxious self!

      Delete
    4. Joe,
      Say it ain't so!
      juvat

      Delete
    5. We never dropped turkeys from our helicopters, but, there is the matter of 4 cases of beer departing the aircraft at 6,000 feet over Florida.

      Delete
    6. JimC,
      Now, THAT's a tragedy. Unless they were under a parachute, of course.
      juvat

      Delete
  2. Where there's a will there's a way eh juvat? Nice story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nylon,
      Thanks, yeah, there were a lot of moving parts involved (I mean have you ever seen a J79 jet engine?). But it all came together and a good time was had by all.
      juvat

      Delete
  3. Juvat, this is the best sort of Thanksgiving story. Thank you for sharing it.

    The best one I have is not nearly as interesting. When I was an undergraduate and did a semester of school in Ireland, one of the students that was with us (from New York with a broad Brooklyn accent) decided we would do Thanksgiving that November. Trying to source traditional American Thanksgiving foods in Ireland was a bit of a challenge but somehow he did it and we sat down to turkey, mashed potatoes, and at least some of the fixings (as well as less traditional items such as Guinness and Whiskey). A good time was had by all, although our Irish "hosts" were a bit confused by the whole thing.

    Thanks for update on Mrs. Juvat. Prayers up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THBB,
      Given that my paternal Grandmother was a direct immigrant from there, I think Guinness and Irish Whiskey make an excellent augmentation to the traditional dinner items. And, since Mrs J's maiden name is very common there, she might not protest too loudly.
      One can hope!
      Thanks
      juvat

      Delete
  4. An awesome blast from the past, one of my favorites! (Good news on Mrs. J, she's still on the prayer list!)

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  5. Conehead -- 6th from the left (looking at the picture) of the first standing row. If there are incoming turkeys, I will have my AA prepared. Anyway the aerodynamics of a frozen turkey is unpredictable. Their weight varies and, based on the shape of our Thanksgiving bird, the outer mold line is not consistent therefore causing problems with getting the aim correct.

    Glad Mrs. J is doing well. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BillB,
      Well done! Know the man do you?
      juvat

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    2. That was just being able to put together clues you have dropped about Conehead. Having been a C-130 driver, I am familiar with navigators (naviguessers?). He just looked the part. Sort of reminded me of a navigator we had back in the mid 70s in the 62nd TAS. He was a computer hacker and technologist. He had figured out how to get the "Big MAC" cross country/oceanic flight planning computer to spit out flight plans for local tactical training routes. That is similar to Conehead and LORAN.

      Delete
    3. Turkey breasts are far more aerodynamic. According to people I know who do strange things...

      Delete
    4. Bill,
      As I looked back at the picture, I can see that. However, he was a great back seater. Could do magic with that old radar and taught me some of that which made the transition to the Eagle even easier.
      But...you haven't picked me out yet.
      juvat

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    5. Beans,
      Catapults, perhaps?
      juvat

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    6. Juvat, Juvat? I am going out on a limb here. Me thinks you are the second from the right on the first row seated.

      I knew some great guys who were navigators. With them, naviguesser was a little of an inside joke. When they can get you across the North Atlantic almost dead on the VORTAC radial you are supposed to be on using Dead Reckoning, doppler, sextant, pressure and LORAN or OMEGA they are GOOD! They are even more fantastic when they are down to minimum or emergency navaids and get you across a large body of water. And the good ones at tactical could have you on time for your TOT doing an airdrop. And the guy I was talking about above was a brilliant navigator.

      Delete
    7. Bill B,
      That's "Bear", he's a WSO. Good guy on his first assignment in the F-4, as was I. We were also in the same squadron at Moody as was Conehead.
      Be sure to duck if you hear jet noise anytime soon!
      juvat

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    8. I will be heads up, guns blazing! I will just have to give it more lead than when I used to hunt ducks. :-)

      Delete
  6. Well, it this is a rerun, I don't recall seeing it before (one of the advantages of superannuation) and enjoyed it immensely. Run it again next year and I will probably have the same reaction.

    Good news on Mrs. J. Tired, not much enthusiasm for food or liquids seems typical, and is probably not due to your cooking skills. Some say that "Ensure" protein shakes (or similar are pretty good payoff for volume consumed, and best served very cold. Otherwise, ANYTHING they think might be a little bit appealing is worth the effort to prepare.

    You have much to be thankful for, they caught this thing early, have a great treatment plan, and just have to jump through the down and up cycle a few more times. Prayers up for patient and the caregiver(s). Lots of other people have done it, and are doing it right now, so no excuse for a pity party.
    JB

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    Replies
    1. JB,
      Thanks!
      Right after the infusion session (the IV Chemo vs the following 20 days of pills), she was extremely sensitive to cold. Painfully so, so we didn't do much cold things, touching cold objects, drinking iced beverages, eating cold foods. She even turned down some peppermint ice cream. That's when I KNEW she was serious about "Nothing Cold!". That seemed to gradually fade as she got further away from that initial sesssion. This Friday is round two of that , so we'll see what's what at that point. All that having been said, if she's up for it the Ensure might be helpful.
      Had our session with our GP Doc this morning. All her numbers are nominal, some a little higher, but explainable. He was ok with all so, hopefully, a good sign.
      Thanks
      juvat

      Delete
  7. Great post! Love those "You'll never guess what we did, and we got away with it!" stories. "Lead’s WSO I have no recollection about." Ah yes, the backseaters always get killed or forgotten! Mostly in fiction though. I envy your wife in a tiny way- not the big C part, but the sleep and lack of appetite. I could stand to get some better Zs, and lose a few LBs. Regular decade to her daily.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tuna,
      Thanks. "War Stories" (not Combat Stories) are frequently entertaining. Also useful in establishing credibility on arrival at a new station as well as trying to keep the new kids in the squadron from getting themselves killed while gaining experience.

      As to sleeping and dieting, can't we all?
      We appreciate the prayers, thanks!
      juvat

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  8. Very glad to hear good news about Mrs. Juvat. Good thing the grass isn't growing else you'd be mowing.

    And I was fully expecting to hear about a loss of cargo pod. Glad that didn't happen.

    As to the SPs, why were they involved. You were just following orders, flying and such. It's not like you were doing anything illegal, immoral, improper or any other 'im' things, right? Guess they wanted to confiscate the lot and eat the evidence.

    Good story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beans,
      I don't know about Florida, but over here, it's still growing. Got to mow the guest cabin lawns about once a week maybe 10 days if lucky.

      As to SP's, there was a bit of friction between us and them. Most of us were in the same age range. One set was officers, the others enlisted. Friction there. Wasn't a lot of things to do at Kunsan except the movie theater and the O'Club. Suffice it to say the O'Club wasn't a place that encouraged restraint of actions or voices. Didn't sit well with some.
      Ahh Well.
      We foiled them (this time)
      juvat

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  9. Good to hear Mrs. J is doing well, a blessing, however you look at it. Sleeping is when you heal.
    1st time story for me, it was great! Yep I know what a J79 looks like, 105's only have one, but then they're not shaped like a brick. Oh yeah, i'd forgotten all about dash 60's! Hey, I got out 50 AND A HALF years ago and I may have had a head trauma or 4 since then or reduced brain cells some way or another. Great writing, always enjoy it.

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    1. Tree Mike,
      Yeah the 105 was a great airplane. Knew a lot of former drivers one of whom will be featured tomorrow. My favorite 105 story was I was escorting a 4 ship on a Red Flag mission as their air support. They were flying at ~450K which is a little slow for the F-4 especially if we needed to do some air to air. So I asked their flight lead to "push it up" a bit. That was the last time I saw them until the debrief. No, they did not have to worry about the Aggressors in their F-5's either. There might be some deaf rattlesnakes out there. A sonic boom within a couple hundred feet of the ground I'm betting gives a new definition to the word "Loud".
      Thanks
      juvat

      Delete
    2. Tree Mike,
      Thanks. Yeah, I was going through "things" in my office and found my kneeboard. It had the lineup card from my last flight in the Eagle on it. That was 31 years ago. I remember it like yesterday. Time flies doesn't it?
      juvat

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  10. God is so good to us...together stay close.
    ~ BBC

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BBC,
      Glad to hear from you again!
      Yes he is! and yes we will.
      Thanks
      juvat

      Delete
  11. Crusty Old TV Tech here. So happy to hear of your wife's progress with chemo, Juvat. May it continue just as long as it has to.

    OK, now you done gone and done it Juvat. "There I was", Thanksgiving, and SP's all in one story!

    Thanksgiving at Griffiss AFB, 1983. Some bunch of Greenpiece type goobers decided to come up WSA Hill on the north side of the runway, cross the active, cross the flight line, and enter a hangar with a (their words at arraignment) "Nuclear Bomb" in it. Did I mention da Griff was a hardcore SAC bomber base, home of the 416th Bomb Wing (Heavy)? G-model Buffs in all their smoky goodness? First B-52 unit with the AGM-86 ALCM?

    At any rate, they found an ALCM practice uploading airframe, poured "blood" (red paint) all over the general vicinity, and beat mightily upon it and a hangar queen B-52G with a nearby sledgehammer. Yeah, not the sharpest chisels in the drawer. Some of you may be asking, "Where was the 416th SPS and their German Shepherds and 18-year-old Mosquito Wingers with M-16's and portable mud puddles at the ready?" Well, at breakfast when they first breached the wires, then later on at a Thanksgiving lunch while the fun was happening in the main hangar. Yeah, this all unfolded with no AP presence until finally the idiots (Greenpiece goobers, not the AP's) set some alarm off in the hangar, and got caught.

    This was when SAC was still SAC, so within milliseconds of Offutt getting wind, a KC-135 with heavy brass was en route. They touched down and started firing everyone they saw, starting with the SPS CC, and ending up when the Thule order stack threatened to inundate CBPO.

    The goobers called themselves the "Plowshares Seven". More on them here: https://www.upi.com/Archives/1984/06/13/A-federal-jury-Wednesday-convicted-seven-anti-nuclear-activists-of/9690455947200/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. COTT,
      I am SO glad I got a fighter out of UPT. We had a "special weapons" requirement at one of my bases. While I doubt we went through quite the same rigamarole you guys did, it was enough of a PITA that I had stored that in the darkest corner of my memory, never to be revisited. So...THANKS!
      ;-)
      juvat

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  12. We’re glad here at the condo that Mrs. J is doing well. We pray that all will be well for both of you.
    Your old post was fun to read. I was at Itazuke 62-64. Your tale brought back many memories of getting the “call” scramble two! It was most usually some guys coming down from the ROK and center (called “Gordon” at the time) refusing to talk to the JASDAF folks. Good flying. We’d go up, take a look and then have about twenty minutes of “practice” time without a mission to fool with. The higher the better, it was. A “gate climb” was super fun in the Deuce in the early sixties.

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    1. D4,
      Never done a "Gate Climb" in a Deuce. Have in a clean F-4. Impressive.

      However....

      An Eagle? OMG! Couldn't do Burner Takeoffs on Kadena. Noise abatement doncha' know?

      One of the few reasons we liked deploying to Osan or Kwangju was Burner TO's were encouraged, expected and practiced frequently there. Gotta be ready for wartime doncha' know?
      juvat

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  13. Yet again proof that the old guys could do things (and get away with them) that would turn the kids of today green with shock, accompanied by cries of 'But you can't do that because...'.

    Excellent news about Mrs J. Prayers for continued good news.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Mr. Frog. It is a different time isn't it?
      juvat

      Delete
  14. Red alert. Red alert don't know if it is you or me but today's posting seems to have been overwritten by yeaterdays post....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, had some weirdness going on with the formatting of the post. Fixed it!

      Delete

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