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Praetorium Honoris

Friday, July 19, 2024

My Navigator Went Insane ...

Source
So the trip up to Logan Airport on Thursday instant went about as well as could be expected.

Boston traffic was ...

Well, it was Boston. Those who know, know. Those who don't, well, trust us, it can suck.

Source
Saw two accidents while inbound to Boston, one of which was fully off the roadway, yet caused a five mile backup as the gawkers had to slow down and check every single detail of what was happening.

The second was on the other side of the highway! Looked worse than the first, but there was nothing in flames, no bodies, nothing of even the remotest interest, yet traffic was backed up a good five miles.

People can be idiots, they try and prove this every day. But people driving in and out of Boston have the survival instincts of a kamikaze pilot, and the attention span of a squirrel. Yet I survived and delivered LUSH and the progeny safely to Little Rhody.

Now the opening graphic should tell you which navigation system I prefer. It was superb right up until Gargle bought them. Now Waze will actually panic.

Going through the Ted Williams Tunnel was particularly interesting.

As Waze lost the satellite signal, the sound of incipient panic was in her voice.

Waze: "Take the next right."

YHS: "Uh, we're in a tunnel, under Boston Harbor."

Waze: "At the roundabout, take the second exit."

YHS: "Uh, didn't you hear my first comment?" (Obviously not, I mean it isn't voice interactive.)

Waze: "Make a U-Turn!"

YHS: "Wait, what?"

Waze: "Turn right, turn right, then turn left ..."

YHS: "Dear Lord ..."

I was starting to feel like Captain Kirk, talking to Nomad ...



Waze will also panic in the Cape Code roundabouts, barking out orders to turn left, then to take the 22nd exit divided by the square root of pi. Then getting completely confused, telling me to turn at streets that don't exist.

When we came out of the tunnel, she corrected herself, almost sounded embarrassed about it.

So yeah, on the trip to Boston my software navigator went insane. On the trip back I had a real navigator, a WSO¹. LUSH didn't panic at all, though she did yell a lot at the other drivers.

Saved me from having to do so.

She's a good daughter, LUSH is.




¹ Weapon Systems Operator, backseater in the F/A-18F. (And the F-4 Phantom as well.)

42 comments:

  1. Waze is a pretty decent co-pilot along with my paper instructions beloved wife.

    Boston is indeed Boston. Exit 23 is real fun somedays.

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  2. Wait until Waze 3.0 comes along with electric shocks Sarge, you'll be the one panicking........... :)

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  3. Thank you for confirming why I don't want an electronic navigator.
    "Saved me from having to do so." But that deprives you of the emotional satisfaction of doing it.

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    Replies
    1. LUSH's rants at the other drivers are awesome and entertaining. Guess who she learned that from?

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  4. I hate "nav aids." I need a barrel of Rolaids® to use one. Hey that reminds me: What do you call Eddie Mercury on skates?

    I went to visit my sister a while back. Her son's girl was there. 20-ish... She found out I don't use gps or apps to find my way... "So, how did you find their house??!??!?!!?!" I knew they lived a bit north of Fort Worth. Followed the signs to their town. I didn't have their address, so I drove to an exit near the middle of town, parked next to a fire station and called my brother in law. He said go back a bit, turn here, right at the next light, then look for..... And I was there in five minutes. She was incredulous that anyone could find anything without some "biatch in a box" telling them where to go. I tried those map programs with gps about 20 years ago. Got screwed twice. That was enough. Led me to a locked lease gate following a "county road". Led me into a cow pasture following a New Mexico state highway. Delorme was a great tool, but I learned not to trust it. Thinking about the cow pasture, that was probably legit. I've been on dirt roads that were marked as New Mexico state highways....

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    Replies
    1. I have paper maps in the vehicle, ya know, just in case.

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    2. I have a road atlas because the Garmin does need to be checked sometimes.... but it's great at finding the address with the estate sale AND the way back to the main highway.

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    3. I went away from Garmin back in the day due to needing to update it.

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    4. My Garmin doesn't need the internet, just a view of the sky. I have my phone & the atlas to back me up.

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    5. The older ones stored all the maps in memory, GPS told you where you were. But you needed map updates periodically.

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    6. Most streets, roads & addresses have been there for a long time, I do the updates to try & keep up with the speed signs and changing businesses.
      As a plus I only buy the ones with "lifetime maps & traffic".

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    7. Most, was using Garmin to navigate around New Orleans after Katrina. Lots of places weren't there any more. Weird.

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  5. Might want to take a look at how Waze operates. It retains your position long after you close the app and continues to report it to waze central. Definitely a privacy concern. Even if you have ‘nothing to hide!’

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    Replies
    1. I don't care if the gubmint knows where I am.

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  6. Sarge, I had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago when I escorted Little J, LJW and Miss B to the San Antonio Airport. Hadn't needed to go to San Antonio for a few years. Let's just say "My has it Grown" Unfortunately, the mid town freeways are under construction, so lanes closing and opening, people driving at light speed and snail speed (some of them switching between speeds at an instant's notice) made for a BP raising event. So...I feel your pain, Brother! Fortunately, I have no immediate need for a return engagement. I suspect you do.
    Deep cleansing breaths, my Friend.
    juvat

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    Replies
    1. We'll be heading back to Boston Sunday afternoon for the concert. Staying overnight in a hotel, kids fly out Monday morning. Then we head back to Little Rhody.

      My average for traveling to Boston when we first moved here was once a month. Now it's once every six years.

      I like the latter much better.

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  7. I have to admit one of my secret guilty pleasures is veering off course and listen to the voice seemingly increase in anxiety.

    That said, having relocated not that long ago, such things are excellent for learning alternate routes.

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    Replies
    1. Waze kept trying to "help me" avoid traffic yesterday. Like recommending a six mile route with little or no traffic but with 30 mph speed limits and multiple traffic lights. I swear that the kids who program these things have zero knowledge of the area.

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  8. I might have considered switching to my backup sextant. Or at least those big back and forth foldable maps that make you go IFR in the cockpit.

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    Replies
    1. I was in a tunnel, under Boston Harbor, there was no where to go except ahead. The thing used to announce, "lost signal" and wait patiently to regan the aforementioned signal. Nope, somebody somewhere decided that was too nerve wracking, better to have it bark out nonsense instructions. Gargle's software people aren't as good as they once were, no doubt all that DEI management (incompetent at best, evil at worst) aren't helping.

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  9. Yelling at other drivers and cursing is holistic. You immediately release stress instead of letting it build. While it may have a negative effect on passengers, they are not behind the wheel.

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    Replies
    1. I need to print this out and post it where my passengers can read it!

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    2. On a little plaque mounted above the rear view mirror :-)

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  10. Back in the days of travelling, we tried a GPS navigator and it sucked. We tried techno kid (literally a very technically astute male with a laptop and GPS and maps and tracking and and and) and it sucked.

    Paper maps for me and mine. We'd go to AAA and get their maps, or using atlases and do our own or use Mapquest and do our own. Many much more accurate and betterer than any bitching electronic betty ever. And we still print out maps to new doctor offices, especially ones not located in the convenient but confusing medical 'subdivision' located near our favorite hospital.

    Eh, tech, who needs it.

    As to Boston? Nope. Never want to go to anything larger than the current place I live in ever again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For some reason both Waze and Google Maps go nuts in eastern Massachusetts.

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    2. Maps are cool, they're like globes for flat earthers.

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    3. What? You don't carry a globe around with you?

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  11. Ah, traffic helpers. Sometimes useful (0200 hours at the intersection of two unmarked roads in a thunderstorm in the midwest) but mostly not. Escaping a road construction maze of barriers. Usually more helpful than SHMBO unless she's been to where we're going.

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    Replies
    1. Most paper maps aren't as detailed as the computerized maps. Unless of course you can get ahold of detailed military maps.

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  12. Sarge, I tend to use Google maps, but I download the maps for offline use, and it sort of D.R.s you along your route even when GPS isn't working.

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    Replies
    1. I got hooked on Waze a few years ago, when we started driving to Maryland a lot.

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  13. I used to use Waze to navigate around the LA basin and I swear I was used as a Manned Probe to evaluate a route at least once. I was on I-405 heading south and noticed an SUV with signs for a vet. I let Waze send me on side streets and then back to I-405. I ended up next to the same SUV....

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  14. I have been using Google Maps for so long I can’t remember when I started. I will use Waze as a backup. In either case I will try to scope out the route ahead of time. I tend to be skeptical. MB and I have found the ideal is to have coordinates rather than addresses, even then we have found ourselves underserved or misdirected.
    I also turn off the audio.
    My biggest complaint is that, in far too many instances the G will attempt to reroute once the trip begins.
    The other major complaint is G doesn’t provide information about what lane to be in far enough ahead of time.

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    Replies
    1. Being in the right lane can be critical. DAMHIK

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  15. Map updates are only necessary if someone actually creates new roads.
    And thanks for confirming that many of Florida's snowbirds are actually from Boston as well as New York City!

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    1. I well remember when they put in a new bridge in Providence on I-95. My old Garmin didn't have that change and it went crazy when it thought I drove into the river.

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  16. ...On one trip back to the airport from a meeting (pre-GPS), my boss noted "We may be lost, but we're making good time"...

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    Replies
    1. Been there, done that.

      The Missus Herself once accused me of being lost, I indicated that I knew where I was. She asked where, I said "Oklahoma." She asked again, "Where in Oklahoma?" Told her, "I'm working on that ..."

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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