Thursday, February 2, 2017

Feb You Airy

Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except February. February is screwed up. (In the original* this was not "screwed up," it was, as you might well imagine, something else entirely.)
Now according to the source of all knowledge on the Web of World Wideness -
Historical names for February include the Old English terms Solmonath (mud month) and Kale-monath (named for cabbage) as well as Charlemagne's designation Hornung**. In Finnish, the month is called helmikuu, meaning "month of the pearl"; when snow melts on tree branches, it forms droplets, and as these freeze again, they are like pearls of ice. In Polish and Ukrainian, respectively, the month is called luty or лютий, meaning the month of ice or hard frost. In Macedonian the month is sechko (сечко), meaning month of cutting [wood]. In Czech, it is called únor, meaning month of submerging [of river ice].
In Little Rhody February is often called "Ah crap, izzat snow?" (And why would they name a month after cabbage? I mean mud month makes perfect sense, but "cabbage month"?) I seem to recall lots of snowy days in the 18 Februarys I've seen here in Little Rhody, not to mention parts of a couple up in the Bay State around Andover where it seemed to snow every fire trucking day one winter. So I consider February to be a snowy month. (As an aside, do you know what a pain in the a$$ it is to type February? I mean try it yourself a few times, it wants to come out as "Febuary," that first "R" just doesn't want to go in there. Which is also why, I think, people say "Feb you airy" and not "Feb brew airy." That first "R" is somehow unnatural. I blame the Romans. Which is probably why they built Hadrian's Wall in the first place, all those nasty Scotsmen coming south and shouting "It's called An Gearran, you Roman twits!)

Now I know that yesterday was the first day of February. (Incidentally, the title is how Vermonters pronounce it, well this Vermonter anyway. It's actually pronounced "feb brew airy." which is cool, I like a cold brew every now and then. Especially when I'm off to the library. [Tee-hee, see what I did there?] Anyhoo, I digress.) I know that as you read this (unless you're reading this in the future when it isn't the second day of the second month) it is now the 2nd of February but Tuna surprised me with his trip to Pensacola post. It was a pleasant surprise as I was able to have an extra day off this week. Time off is good. Not doubt Juvat will go on strike or something because he had to post on the day after Christmas. Which was a Monday, and for most of us a holiday. Except for Juvat of course. And here I am, getting yet another day off.

But this post should have been published on the first, but what I actually wrote for the 31st of January I published on the first of the second month. I really liked that post, though, as always, YMMV. And why am I belaboring this point? I dunno, it's a mystery. Oh yeah, but I digress...

So, February aside, you may (or may not) have noticed that I have been refraining from posts of a political nature as of late (which is fancy talk for "lately"). (This refraining does not apply to either Juvat or Tuna, they are free to post on des affaires politique as much as they like.) I don't particularly care for politics as apparently it drives people insane, or perhaps it merely makes them seem insane. Koobecaf has been particularly loony as of late.

I have friends who are dyed in the wool liberals, others who are hard core conservatives. Both groups have been wandering into the political realm as of late (there it is again***) and it is most painful. I've actually "unfollowed" a few people who were posting out and out lies and proclaiming it as Gospel truth. Perhaps they don't know any better?

Sigh. Just post cute kitten and puppy videos and snapshots of the grand-kids, okay? Where I went on vacation, recipes, great beers I have tried, and the like are also okay.

Just say no...
Speaking of grand-kids, two of mine visited at the beginning of January (The Naviguesser's progeny) and two more (I should say "the other two," I only have four at the moment) will be visiting in a couple of weeks (The WSO's progeny). Now I have been reliably informed that the eldest granddaughter, that would be Little Bit is bringing "official" news of a promotion for Yours Truly.

Now I may have mentioned before that Little Bit has the tendency to trigger my inner two-year-old. When she gets feisty with me, we get into shouting matches, as we are both rather strong willed and loud. She gets feisty with me a lot, I like provoking her, much to The WSO's dismay. Now The Missus Herself has long known (suspected?) that I am but a little boy in a man's body but even she will get exasperated with me when I start arguing with my six-year-old granddaughter. What no one realizes is that Little Bit and I enjoy taunting each other. A lot.

As to the aforementioned promotion...

Back in December I jokingly told my precious little granddaughter that not only was I going to fly out to California and pinch her for sassing me over the phone but that I also suspected that she was the "Mayor of Poopy Town."

Dead silence on the other end. Until I heard...

"No grandpa, you're the Mayor of Poopy Town."

After that we had a long philosophical discussion which basically consisted of the phrase - "No, I'm not, you are" - being exchanged back and forth rather like a demented verbal tennis match. Until the two adults on the phone, The WSO and The Missus Herself, told the two children, Yours Truly and Little Bit, to go find something else to do. Which we did, laughing and still yelling insults at each other. (Sigh, she's a chip off the old block she is.)

At any rate, when last chatting with the Lemoore branch of the far flung tribe, before I could say a word, Little Bit informed me that I was no longer the "Mayor of Poopy Town" but was now "Mayor of the Poopy Ocean," which I gather is a much more esteemed position than being merely the Mayor of Poopy Town, as an ocean is far larger than a town. I guess she'll be bringing the official sash and all that when she visits later this month.

I just hope there are no politics involved.

* The Sarge original that is, not this one.
** Apparently Charlemagne was a big Green Bay fan, BITD.
*** It's my inner touchy-feel Alan Aldaesque man of the eighties prose coming out, I'm sure.


  1. Mayor of Poopy Ocean! I love it. I'm glad you have a grandkid you can spar with. She'll be way better off for it. I'm a bit envious...

  2. Enjoy your victories while you can. As you teach them and you both age, they become smarter. You, on the other hand.......

    1. Oh I know that so well.

      I sense that in the years to come I will lose most of the arguments with Little Bit, she's just too damned smart to begin with!

  3. Funny how we can accept Febuerry, but not liberry.
    It's worse the fingernails on the blackboard (figuratively, of course).

    1. I like to tell people who attempt to correct my pronunciation of "February" that the "R" is silent when I pronounce the word. Oddly enough, I have always pronounced both "Rs" in "library." Yes, figuratively "liberry" is fingernails on a blackboard annoying.

      I really do want to say "Feb brew airy" but it's just so awkward.

  4. I even had to un-friend a few close relatives.

    My NC grandkids asked what to call me when they were very little. I said, I don't care as long as you don't call me "Late to dinner." Guess what they now call me.

  5. Back from 31 days in the hospital after another attack of septisemia in which I came closer to Fiddlers Green than I would have liked. Their wireless was good but my tablet went TU so all com was out as I recovered. As long as we're talking no politics and plays on words thought I'd like to relate one of the funniest on-air tv interviews I've ever seen. After Katrina, New Orleans' City Park (which is four times as large as NYCs Central Park) quickly went to seed as the govt workers who tended the grounds were out of city scattered to the four winds. Well, a guy who lived across the street named Ron rounded a bunch of his friends and other volunteers from around the city who, with their lawn mowers, hedge clippers and weed-whackers, got everything pretty much 80% back. They called themselves the MOWrons (a double play on words as the city's working class pronounces the word "moron" as "MOWron") They got a bunch of t-shits and sweat shirts printed up with "City Park MOW-rons" with a print of a lawn-mower below and quickly became a local news sensation/heroes. SOoooo....a local tv station decided to do a human interest story and sent a reporter over to do an on-air interview with our man Ron. During the interview the reporter alluded to their name by saying that (given the screwed up condition of City government before, during, and after Katrina) surely City Park did not have an exclusive hold on all the "MOW-rons; there must be plenty at City Hall also, n'cest-ce pas? "Naw" came the reply, "all the MOW-rons are over here at City Park working their asses off for free--City Hall is where all the imbeciles hang out." LOLLOLLOL!!!

    1. Hahaha! Imbeciles versus MOW-rons. The MOW-rons have their act together, the imbeciles not so much.

      Juvat and I were getting a bit worried Virgil, there was some back and forth chatter as to your status. Glad to know that you're still on this side of the grass!

    2. VX, I am also glad you're still on the sunny side of the Daisies! I think I irritated someone down in Plaquemine who owns the cellphone number I had for you. Finally after several texts inquiring about the Weather in Baton Rouge or some such matter of import, he calls me up and asks who the heck this VX guy is, cause he wants to read his stories.'ve got that going for ya!

    3. Hahaha!

      Another Virgil fan!

      It's Xenophon-mania!

  6. HaHa indeed. I happened to watch that interview live and practically fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. :)

  7. Sounds like for you, it's Feb Rue Airy?

  8. VX: I am also happy to read the you remain alive and kicking.

    OAFS/Chris: Re that which month has how many days thing; if the calendar were to have 13 months of 28 days each...
    That 13 being an unlucky number thing does not apply to citizens of the USA.

    Paul L. Quandt

    1. I adopted 13 as my lucky number when I was a kid. We had a black cat back then who always brought me good luck.

      We could also take that 365th (or 366th) day and make it a holiday. (Must keep pace with the movement of the sun, stars, and moon after all.)

      Did you know that in many Asian countries "4" is considered unlucky?

      "Four" in Chinese 四 is romanized as sì, "dead" in Chinese 死 is also romanized as sì. The pronunciation of the two words is also similar.

      I remember visiting someone in the hospital in Korea and noting that the building had no fourth floor. Went from 3 to 5. Chinese characters are widely used in Korea and Japan and of course any place where Chinese is spoken.

  9. Ok, I should have done the math before I wrote my suggestion. However, the extra day ( and two days every four years ) could be public holidays in which everyone has a party.


    1. I should have read your second comment before commenting on your first comment. But essentially we agree that the days needed to make up a full year be devoted to a party.

      I like it!

  10. Now that gave me a great belly laugh. You've done a very good thing today, Hizzoner! :)

  11. I was taught the rhyme as "Thirty days hath September... All the rest, I can't remember."

    1. Hahaha!

      I remember when I couldn't get that far.

  12. I'm remembering the rhyme as not a rhyme:
    Thirty days hath September, April, June
    And no wonder,
    All the rest have peanut butter
    Except my grandmother,
    Who rides a little red tricycle.


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