Sugar and Spice!

 No, juvat, they are not two of the Solid Gold Dancers. Though it would be funny if they were.  That thought brought to you by me recently watching "Scrooged" with Bill Murray, one of the better 'modern' retellings of Charles Dickens' Christmas Tale.  I really wish they had made "The Night the Reindeer Died" starring Lee Majors (the Six Million Dollar Man himself.)  I mean, any movie that has the immortal lines "This is one Santa who's going out the front door" would have to be cheesy and fun and still 100 times better than most of the SciFi channel productions like "Sharknado" (of which, yes I watched, but not the sequels, oh God, the sequels.)

Yes, "The Night the Reindeer Died" is an actual 'promo' from "Scrooged."
Seriously, this would be fun to watch, no?

Okay, seriously, sugar and spice. Think of it.  What do most of us Americans and lots of foreigners have ample supplies of pretty much at all times that less modern people wouldn't? (Well, besides modern health care and indoor plumbing and safe food and decent transportation and dyes that won't poison the wearer nor cosmetics that won't poison the wearer and I could go on and on and on but you get the point.)

Sugar and spices.

Seriously.

I've got enough cinnamon of both flavors to last a couple years, ground nutmeg, cloves ground and unground, pepper, chili pepper, cumin, poultry seasoning, sage, and many much more, in quantities that would flabbergast anyone pre-WWII, unless that someone was quite rich or worked for someone quite rich.

Think of it.  A cask of peppercorn, maybe three feet high by about one and a half in diameter, that's enough peppercorn to, prior to the late 1700s, be enough to significantly impact the FINANCIAL structure of a large town or small city.  A small ship's load of peppers, cinnamon, nutmeg and other spices, weighing in at about a ton or a tonne in total (not including packaging) would be enough to upset the finances of a whole kingdom.

What launched the great European navigation race?  Wasn't gold, no.  Spices.  What partially spurred the formation of the Hanseatic League and gave rise to the first mega-corporation, the Dutch-East Indies Company?

Spices.

The Spice must flow.

In a medieval great-house, the lady of the house would be the one in charge of the spices and seasonings.  Oftentimes a nook in the kitchen, if not a whole room, with locked cupboards and boxes of which she had the keys for, hanging often off of a chatelaine (a broach or large thing that would hook under a belt of which descended all the keys and other accoutrements of a great lady.  The Victorian brooch from which a watch dangled from is, yes, a version of the chatelaine.)  She wielded great power because SHE controlled the spices and other expensive components of cooking (and she controlled the still room which, yes, had stills in it for making tinctures of various items, and also a place where herbs were hung to dry.)

The quaint medieval custom of a Royal Procession through the countryside, where the King checks up on the actual goings-on rather than relying on reports, was also a way of graciously bankrupting the local nobles said king was visiting.  Quaint.  Yeah.  I wonder how many ladies considered suicide or other means of ending it all as their carefully hoarded stashes of precious ingredients were used up by a royal ass dropping in for a vaca?

Why spices?  For the flavor, for the preserving power, for the ability to cover up substandard foods.  Same reason we use spices today.  Think of the common talapia fish.  Bland, almost flavorless.  What do you have to do to make that piece of piscine shoe leather taste good?  Ah, spices.  Of which Europe is remarkably unfavorable for in climate to grow said spices.  Got herbs, but herbs only go so far.  Spices are the way to go.

Seriously, before the world petrochemical thing, there was spice.  Pushing and pushing and pushing the expansion and exploration of trade routes.

That cinnamon roll you just scarfed?  That's a reasonable portion, in cinnamon, of a noble's ransom in early medieval times.

And it's not just spices.  Sugar itself was a huge luxury item until the widespread production of sugarcane in various African colonies and especially the West Indies.  Before that it had to be carried or shipped from India or Asia.  

Which, to tie it into the holiday season, is one of the many reasons why such sweet treats were and are popular around holidays.  And have been part of holiday celebrations ever since spices and sweeteners were first discovered.

So, on this Christmas Eve (checks calendar, yes, actually Christmas Eve today,) enjoy your kingdom's ransom of wonderful spices and seasonings.  Eat foods so flavorful even a Roman Emperor would be jealous.  And think about what you have in your cupboards and pantries.

Think about, in troubled times, how comforting a good spiced drink or confection can settle one's disturbed soul (so, well, don't just stock up on rice and freedom seeds and staples, stock up on some spices (especially cheap spice containers from Dollar Tree or such for trade goods.))

So Merry Christmas you wonderful people out there.  

And now for some music of the season.

Oh, oops, how'd that slip in there.

Bad Beans, Krampus will get you!

Hey, how else to keep your little monsters under control than to scare the pants off of them.
Or... Krampus is real...
Come on, it's Germany.  Where the original Hansel and Gretel get cooked in an oven for being over-indulged fat greedy food-shoveling little self-centered piglets of children.

Seriously, the original Hansel and Gretel is a daaaarrrrkkkk tale, really daaaaarrrk tale.

Okay, for real, here's some better music and video.