Yeah. Big one. Huge, massive.
Why?
Because unbeknownst to me, Mrs. Andrew went and recorded 10 hours of the Coronation on PBS. So a couple days ago she watched it, and since I sit right next to her, that meant I watched it. Which meant that I was the Remote Jockey and did the fastforwarding, playing and pausing. Couple quck takes on said festivities.
One: Geez, talking heads babbling on tv isn't a US phenomenon. There were some babblers on there that would give the hags on The View a run for their money on lack of IQ points. Nuff said on that.
Two: Funny watching a single service member escorting the royal carriage stay constantly out of step. And setting the rest of the file behind her (oops, gave it away) out of step. I guess the concept of everyone steps the same length of step doesn't exist in England. And the concept of following the person in front of you (though the people behind her kept in step with her, she just consistently stayed out of step with the guy in front of her.) One of those glaring things that I bet as soon as she got back to barracks or the regrouping point or wherever that some Regimental Command Sergeant Major was going to be in her face and going all R. Lee Ermy (the British version, of course) on her. I mean, getting out of step once, forgivable. Twice... not so much. Thrice or more? Disgraceful.
Three: Watching the columns of 12 maneuver into columns of 6 as they entered the roundabout at the Queen Victoria Memorial traffic roundabout was great.
Four: All the horses, excellent! And the left of each pair of carriage horses had a rider on it, just with horse-drawn artillery.
Five: Would have been nice to see some really shined-up SMLEs instead of the current bull-pup battle rifles. The modern rifle, the L85A3, just doesn't look parade worthy if you know what I mean. And not really good for bayonet drill work in case things go frisky, while the SMLEs were great rifles for bayoneting and clubbing and scrumming. Plus that .303 just penetrates more than the 5.56mm NATO round.
Six: The star of the show, besides the royals, was definitely the King's Sword Bearer, Member of Parlaiment Penny Mordaunt, a staunch conservative and, in my eyes, a serious babe.
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Seventh: This is the 40th Coronation at Westminster Cathedral. The first? December 25, 1066, the coronation of William the Conqueror. (I knew this long before as William is a bit of a historic hero for me.
Other than that, all I did besides run the remote was look up stuff that Mrs. Andrew had questions about. Which kept me busy and allowed the inner historian to have fun.
Glad I wasn't there. Would have been bored and fallen asleep within the first half hour, or been caught on tv reading a book or playing on my phone, or sleeping.
Then again, I'm glad I've never gone to an inauguration. Would have been bored and fallen asleep within the first half hour, or been caught on tv reading a book or playing on my phone or sleeping.
Toodles for now.
Hypocritical Beans...
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The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.
Do you like Nicolas Cage? Well, in this movie, Nicolas Cage plays Nicolas Cage playing Nicolas Cage. Totally messed up, typical Nicolas Cage trainwreck which means it is fun, fast paced and just a hoot. Highly recommended. Even Mrs. Andrew liked it and she's picky.
The Holy Hand Grenade indeed.
ReplyDeleteAnd that reminded me, I remember watching Death Race 2000 a zillion years ago, and there is a scene where David Carradine pulls his glove off to reveal an explosive device buried in the palm of his artificial fist. He answers his co-driver's question of "Is that a grenade?" by saying, "A "hand grenade". That handshake is all I've lived for for as long as I can remember."
There is so much good in that lame movie. Funny, sick, twisted.
DeleteAnother grenade line is in 'The Wild Geese' when asked if he is armed, pulls a 1911 Colt out of one suit coat pocket and a hand grenade out of the other "Sort of balances me out".
DeleteA classy serious babe indeed. She did an amazing job dealing with that sword for all that time.
ReplyDeleteYep. She apparently trained with fakes and weights once she heard she was chosen.
DeleteBeans, thanks for watching so I didn't have to do so! Though actually I didn't " have to " do anything like that. But especially, thank you for the photos of MP Mordaunt! We are of a mind in taste for serious, competent and attractive women.
ReplyDeleteBoat Guy
Oh, and spot on about SMLE's as ceremonial rifles. At least our folk (Marines at 8th&I and Soldiers of the Old Guard) use M1's and M14's respectively.
DeleteBG
Yeah. The modern rifle just looks wrong for parades. Looks wrong for fighting with, too, but the Brits seem to have gotten the kinks out of it.
DeleteThe desire for 7.62 never went away. (hogday)
DeleteNo, it hasn't.
DeleteDunno if they've really worked the kinks out of the L85 or not. I shot one in the early aughts (when it was the "SA-80") and thought the best thing about it was the magazines.
DeleteBG
I only caught parts of the coronation. It will be the only one in my lifetime.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the use of the SMLE as a parade/drill piece. I have had a sporterized No.1 Mk. III since I was 15 as my hunting rifle. The 303 is still a very good round.
To be the fly on the wall when the RSM "counsels" said individual would be priceless.
Safer to stay far away. Secondary effects and punishments are known to happen to ears that wander too close to a good blistering tongue lashing.
DeleteDo you really think that with the offender being female, any male military leader would dare do any such thing? In the UK, or even the US?
DeleteI watched it on Skye. I got up a bit late, turned it on just before the Epistle. No talking heads to spoil it. Coverage cut off when the carriage pulled away. I do have two recordings of it, don't recall the networks.
ReplyDeleteImpressions:
The actual coronation, the presenting of the regalia, reminded me very much of the vesting and prayers of an Orthodox priest or Bishop, or maybe the ordination of a priest.
When I saw The Right Honorable Penny Mordaunt my first thought was "The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in finest samite..." Yes, I'm going to That Special Hell.
The embroidery on MP Mordaunt's regalia - which she helped design and paid for out of her own pocket, see: https://www.elle.com/uk/fashion/celebrity-style/a43834158/penny-mordaunt-coronation-outfit-feminist-statement/ since she did not want to wear the official regalia - is supposed to be a fern but to me looked more like an wreath of olive branches. She's also Royal Navy Reserve. A bit more about her: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10991189/Penny-Mordaunt-bring-dose-showbiz-flair-leadership-race.html
and https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/politics/who-is-penny-mordaunt-sunak-27444110
Quite the looker in a swimsuit.
Not that I was infatuated with her or anything, I'm a quite happily long time married man. Nope....never look at another woman. (in a pigs arse I don't look....and my wife will point out particularly good looking ladies for me to discretely glance at...she thinks men should be allowed to look at the menu, just so long as they order at home. Her comment on MP Mordaunt was, "Oh, my!")
I felt sorry for those heralds, and other ceremonial chess pieces, having to stand through the whole thing.
I have to add: "Author Caitlin Moran even compared Mourdant’s sword moment to Pippa Middleton at the 2011 royal wedding. ‘Penny Mordaunt’s sword is the “Pippa Middleton’s Bum” of the Coronation,’ she tweeted."
DeleteThis content is imported from twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
Well, Charles is the head of the Church of England, thanks to Henry VIII creating it.
DeleteShe's a very classy dame, she is.
And standing around for hours and hours must have sucked.
As a young Met copper in 1972, I was Walking from Trafalgar Square under Admiralty Arch towards Buckingham Palace, my personal radio crackled into life with the message, “any unit in The Mall, an army horse has bolted at the Guard Change, now heading towards Trafalgar Square minus the rider”. I looked up and there it was, a glorious, riderless horse of Her Majesty’s Life Guards cantering down the centre of The Mall, set on trampling everything in its path. The magnificent beast was cantering towards me, its black coat glistening in the midday sun, nostrils flared, muscles flexing rhythmically as the empty stirrups danced against its flanks. This should surely jog my memory and deliver that simple solution to stopping a runaway horse that I had dutifully learnt just three months earlier? Definitions are handy things to commit to memory particularly when answering questions in exams or when having the time to weigh up a power of arrest, especially when one wrong word can lead to a complaint of unlawful detention. For some reason, and just when I needed it, the one about the runaway horse went clean out of my head. Classroom theory had given way to the cold reality of the street, which in this case had half a ton of riderless army horse cantering down it at a rate of knots. I knew the definition mentioned something about grabbing reins, but my instinct of self-preservation took over. Positioning myself in the opposite carriageway, I signalled Palace bound traffic to stop, thus lessening the chance of a ‘horse v car’ collision. I then extended both arms crucifix style and performed a sort of ‘soft shoe shuffle’ just to make sure it had seen me. To my absolute relief, my little Fred Astaire moment did the trick and the horse made a smart right turn into Horseguards Parade whilst reducing its pace to a military trot. It headed triumphantly across the parade square and turned left under the arch to its stables for oats and medals. As for the dismounted Life Guards trooper, I could only imagine the reception that awaited him. As the adrenaline subsided I noticed a crowd of tourists had gathered at the junction and were clearly mesmerised by this unexpected piece of street theatre. With all the dignity I could muster I waved the traffic on and strolled nonchalantly to the pavement. Reaching for my radio I announced that I had directed the horse to its stables without further incident. I even got a ripple of applause from the tourists. Little did they know my life had just flashed before my eyes.
Delete^^from Hogday ^^
Delete"And standing around for hours and hours must have sucked."
DeleteI'm a subdeacon in the Orthodox Church and have spent many an hour standing for hours at hierarchical services. It does indeed suck. Especially when the beeswax is dripping onto your hands.
Spent my first week as an Altar Boy during Holy Ascension Week, back when most catholics actually showed up on holy obligation days. This was also back in the days of the altar boy using a platen on a 4' rod to catch all the crumbs during Communion. When I was 9. Catholics were very common in the military back in the early 70's. And my co-altar boy ducked out after Sunday Mass and was never seen again. So Sunday, small mass on Monday and Tuesday, Holy Day of Obligation on Wednesday, small mass on Thursday and Friday, and well attended evening mass on Saturday.
DeleteGot me ready for polearm fighting in the SCA it did.
And excellent story, Hogsday. Standing up to a rampaging horse is no mean feat. Though it seems once it found its rankers, the horse calmed down.
DeleteCrusty Old TV Tech here. SMLE, indeed! Mark III's, please, with full "pig sticker" bayonets, what a sight that would have been! Sir Winston would have approved.
ReplyDeleteNow you've gone and done it! I had not considered the Orb of State to be the prototype of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch before, but now I will forever more...Book of Armaments, Chapter 11...and Tarts throwing swords too! Man, I find it to be more true the older I get, everything I learned, I learned from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (or Dr. Strangelove)!
Ah yes, to the third point, I suspect there will be a corner of Regimental HQ which will be off-limits to all personnel for a few days, as the ozone, stale cig and coffee breath, and blistered air containing oaths sworn in explanation of soldier's sins and parentage slowly dissipate. PPE does not exist to mitigate the full blast of a senior NCO's wrath, in the moment, or ex-post-facto.
Monty Python poked a lot of sensitive things during their time in comedy. The British Army and the Royalty got it lots.
ReplyDeleteYAY, HOGDAY!
ReplyDeleteWell done, all hands. Quartermaster, issue an extra tot of grog to those not on duty!
ReplyDelete(Thanks for once again covering my six, Monsieur Haricots!)
Yer welcome. Can I get mine non-alcoholic?
DeleteMais certainement!
DeleteIf you liked the carnation, you will love this. https://www.tiktok.com/@jay.kue/video/7229708082341842202
ReplyDelete*Coronation
Delete