Revisiting Germany

Now that Skunk Week is over, we return you to your regularly scheduled blog postings.

So, There I was……* Fresh out of two years of “ARRRMEEE Training Sir”  and looking every bit like Bill Murray.

Sorry, I must have watched that film once a month while at Leavenworth, just to keep my head on tight.  Even used the saying in one of my “teach my staff group about the AF” presentations, when asked why things were done a certain way.  The guys in the staff group howled,  the instructor, not so much.  Anyhow, I digress.  I graduate and am a certified (certifiable?) Jedi Knight.  As such, I’m about to embark on that pinnacle assignment that every fighter pilot dreams about…Staff Officer.  Yes,  no more pulling G’s, no more 4 v X furballs, no more of those boring dart missions.  Nope, now I get to build PowerPoint presentations!  Wahoo!

However, there is a silver lining to the Staff Officer Billet I’ve been assigned.  It’s at Camp Smith Hawaii.

My office was in the oval in the bottom center.  Current pictures no longer show that part of the building.

  From my cockpit desk, my view extends from Barbers Point to the West all the way to Diamond Head.  The only person with a better view wears 4 stars.  How did a lowly Lt Col Select get this view, you may ask?  Well, we were starting a new function at CINCPAC and space is tight/non-existent.   However, there are Offices over the old dispensary that are empty.  Course they’re also condemned.  Rolling a four drawer safe down the passageway (Navy 4 Star as Commander therefore, passageway NOT hallway.  Joint doncha’ know), we lose a dolly, safe and nearly a Yeoman  as the dolly and safe crash through the termite riddled floor.  We quickly learned to step lightly and tended to move along the sides of the passageway rather than the middle.  But, the good news is not many people came to visit, therefore, not many people knew about the view.

In seriousness, the job is a pretty good one.  Starting out in the assignment, I’m just one of the workers, but over the course of the first year or so, eventually become the Division Chief.  On a Joint Headquarters, that is usually reserved for junior O-6s and senior O-5s, usually O-6 selects.  Our job is to form and train a cadre of staff that on very short notice can deploy to some specified commands in the CINCPAC Area of Responsibility and augment that staff with the capabilities needed to become a Joint Task Force.  Hadn’t been there more than a couple of months when we got alerted to go to Bangladesh to assist in recovery from a Tropical Cyclone (Hurricane/Typhoon in the Indian Ocean).  This was a year or so after Sea Angel.  Things progressed far enough that I got a Gamma Globulin shot in the Butt as I was going up the steps in the C-5.  Thankfully we got a stand down order before takeoff.  Sitting on that golfball for an extended flight would not have been fun.  Nor would the recovery operation.

Something that was frequently stated at CINCPAC headquarters was a phrase “Tyranny of Distance”.  We got very familiar with the reality of that statement as two of our staffs that we augmented were 7^th Fleet, aboard USS Blue Ridge (LCC-19) and 3MEF on Okinawa, both 10+ hours flying time from Hickam.

Blue Ridge and some Volcano
Commons.Wikimedia.com

 In addition to the augmenting of the Staff, we would also participate in the initial mission planning stages of the contingency at Camp Smith and then deploy bringing a better understanding of “Commander’s intent” with us to the JTF command.  But with a 10 hour interval between departure from Hickam and arrival at the JTF, the situation would almost always have changed.  So keeping up to speed while deploying was important.

Now, while this next paragraph can be accomplished by the average 12 year old with a smartphone in 2014, back in the early 90s, this was next to impossible.  We managed to hook up to the special satellite receiver door for a C-141 and transmit and receive Data over the link.  It had been used for years as a voice transmitter, but not data.  We were able to set up a laptop inside the cargo hold, and receive updated orders from CINCPAC, a huge advantage at the time.  So much so, that I was requested to travel with our Marine 2 star J-3 (Director of Operations) to the Worldwide J-3 Conference in Oberammergau Germany.  And, now for …The Rest of the Story.

I tried to get a representation picture of the locations of Oberammergau and Honolulu from Google Earth, but couldn't.  Suffice it to say, they’re on opposite sides of the world.  So to avoid complications caused by travel delays and minimize jet lag, we decide to leave so as to arrive a day early for the conference.  Unlike previous trips to Germany, travel was uneventful.  Traveling with a Marine Major General has its perks I guess.  We arrive in Munich, the General, a Navy Captain and myself.  Pick up our rental car.  A big honking BMW, I mean this thing is huge!  While at Hertz, I grab a brochure which has a small 4 inch square map of Germany on it, Autobahns and some major roads on it.  The Captain wants to drive as he’s “never driven on the Autobahn”.  As one might suspect, the General gets his choice of seats and selects the front passenger seat.  I am in the back seat, navigating. 

We arrive, safely and expeditiously at Oberammergau and check in to our hotel.  It’s late afternoon and the General tells everyone to meet in the lobby at 1730 about an hour and a half.  I’m tired, but have figured out, that for me, the best way to shift into a new time zone is to exercise, eat lightly, drink not at all and go to bed as close to normal bed time in that time zone as possible.  I go for a run.  Come back in, get cleaned up and am downstairs with 15 minutes to spare.  Right on time, the General arrives.  We head into the restaurant, order dinner and he turns to me and says “Well Juvat, what are we going to do tomorrow?”  Hey, nobody said anything about Tour Guide in my orders, but being the quick on my feet thinker that I am, I remember the map of Germany  had icons for Castles on it and that the General is a big Olympic fan.  So I say, “General, your choice, we can tour the Olympic Village at Munich, or we can tour some local Castles”.    I’m praying for Munich, because I’d seen the signs for the Olympic Village as we left the city.  Naturally, therefore, “Castles”.

After Dinner, I make my way to the front desk and ask if they have any local maps.  No Joy! I am stuck with my 4 inch map of Germany.  The next day dawns and we’re off.  Seating arrangement is the same as the day before and I’ve got my trusty map.  The Captain has the hammer down, but thankfully the first Castle is only about 10 miles away and only one road change.  We arrive at Linderhof Castle with no problems. 

Linderhof Castle
By Softeis (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons

The General and the Captain are off on a tour, and I’m in the Gift Shop looking for a map.  No Joy! 

Next stop on this magical mystery tour is Neuschwanstein Castle, a bit further than the previous leg and will involve a few more road changes. 

Neuschwanstein Castle
"Neuschwanstein castle" by Jeff Wilcox - http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeffwilcox/95436233/. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Neuschwanstein_castle.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Neuschwanstein_castle.jpg

And we’re off!  The Captain is in heaven and we’re flying through forests and mountains it’s a jolly ride.  I’m starting to get concerned as I haven’t seen the turnoff I’m looking for.  Finally, we come up on a building on the right side of the road, looks kinda like a old time gas station with a guy standing out front in what looks like an old time gas station uniform.  He waves as we drive by.  A hundred meters of so further on, there’s another gas station with a guy outside in a different gas station uniform.  He waves us by.    I still don’t see the turnoff and after about 5 minutes, we come up on a village.  I swallow my pride and tell them I have to stop and ask directions.  The General says fine, he needs to cash a traveler’s check and needs film for his camera.  We enter the village and see the old time Kodak shop with the roll of film sign on it right next door to a bank.  The General asks me to get the film while he cashes the check.  

I walk into the store and find the film, walk up to the cashier, hand her the film and she says “80”.  Holy smokes!  That’s $50 or so.  But the General wants film.  I pull some 20 Mark notes out of my wallet and count out 20,40,60, 80.  She goes “No, no, 80 Pfennig!”  The light clicks on!  Juvat is not only not in Kansas anymore, he’s not in Germany either.  But having listened to my Father about never leaving home while overseas without your passport, mine is in my back pocket.  So I laugh, ask the lady where we are, she pulls out a large map of southern Germany and Austria, points to the Austrian village we’re in and then shows me the route to Neuschwanstein Castle.  I thank her profusely, ask if she has a copy of the map for sale and if she will take Marks.  She does and counts out the change adding to my son’s collection of foreign currency.  I walk outside just as the General is coming out of the bank.  I say, “Guess what General?”  He answers, “We’re not in Germany, and my passport is at the Hotel!”.  Doomed!

“Well, Juvat, what’s the plan now?”  Thinking quickly I pull out the map and say “General, we’re taking this route back to Germany and when we cross the border, if they stop us, you’re going to fix them with your best Marine Infantry 2 Star stare, show them your ID card and DARE them to stop us.”  He pauses,  then says “That’ll work.”  Get back into the Car and we’re off.  Praying pretty hard that we get a similar treatment at the border, but no such luck.  We leave Austria with no problem and are in no man’s land looking at the German Border Crew.  This crew is checking papers.  As we approach, I pull out my passport as does the Captain.  The General says “Put those away.  If I’m using my ID, so are You!”  We pull up, the Border Officer is on the passenger side.  The General rolls down the window,and shows his ID.  The Border Officer starts to say something and the General hits him with his Marine Infantry 2 star stare and frankly even in the back seat I’m chilled.  The officer gulps and waves him through.  The Captain accelerates away and we’re off. 

Neuschwanstein Castle was especially beautiful that afternoon. The turnoff I’d been looking for?  That was the border.  It was just a line on my map with no further information.