Friday, November 8, 2019

Digital*

"I'll take mangled fingers for $500, Alex."

"Sarge did this on the 3rd of July."

"What is smash his finger in a door."

"That is absolutely correct..."
Yes, that's right boys and girls, the middle digit of my sinister manus is, for certain definitions of that word, healed. The nerves are more, or less, intact, but as you can see, the tip of that poor finger is rather lumpy compared to the others.


Kinda looks like a wee man wearing a toupee. To me at any rate. I have discovered, during a bit of wet, cold weather the other day, that it also aches like the very dickens if left exposed. Perhaps I should start wearing a glove on just that hand, like a certain Bond villain perhaps...

Fun article at this source link, oh do read it...
(Source)
"Do you expect me to beg for my life Sarge?"

"Certainly not Mr. Bond, I expect you to die..."
Man, I'd make an awesome Bond villain...

Anyhoo, I digress.

I was sporting a rather Goth finger nail on that digit for quite some time, think black and blue. (Yes, I have a picture of it. No, you can't see it. Too gross even for me.) Had it through the wedding of Tuttle and The Nuke and thought that it was just growing out. New fingernail was showing at the bottom of the nail and the damaged bit was slowly being replaced.

Little did I know, until I woke up one morning wondering why my fingernail was no longer attached, that new nail was indeed coming in, and was pushing under Mr. Damaged-Nail. Didn't know that until it pushed the Goth nail right off.

Eeyew!

Bit of a surprise that, until The Missus Herself said, "Of course, the old one was going to fall off. What an idiot!"

Didn't know that, had never lost a nail before. In The Missus Herself's long gardening career apparently she's wrecked and discarded a number of nails, of both the finger and toe variety. I tell you, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, women are tough.

Tough as nails.

(Yeah, that's right, I went there.)


See, almost all better...

But between my wrecked knee and now this damaged digit, I can pretty much predict the weather a few days in advance.

Lucky me.





* digital (#3 being the operative definition...)
adjective
1. (of signals or data) expressed as series of the digits 0 and 1, typically represented by values of a physical quantity such as voltage or magnetic polarization.
  • relating to, using, or storing data or information in the form of digital signals. "digital TV"
  • involving or relating to the use of computer technology. "the digital revolution"
2. (of a clock or watch) showing the time by means of displayed digits rather than hands or a pointer.
3. relating to a finger or fingers. (Source)

36 comments:

  1. And you paraphrased a line from, wait, wait some more for the dramatic intensity to build, ready, GoldFINGER!

    Recently I decided that I didn't need to take the extra minute to put on my safety shoes, and now I'm watching a large dark spot under my big toe nail slowly fade away. I got off lucky, nothing broken, no medical involvement, and a good lessen learned.

    Good post, take care. I'm off to help a Navy buddy finish his chicken coop build.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Swap "lesson" for "lessen."

      And Shirley Bassey is singing the Goldfinger theme in my head.

      Delete
    2. Shirley has now decided to sing Coldfinger because your finger is now sensitive.

      Delete
  2. .... Beans?

    https://www.woodtv.com/news/kzoo-and-bc/victim-uses-battle-axe-to-fend-off-home-invader/

    Actually, we know it wasn’t him, because the invader’s still alive, and not missing any limbs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, if it had been Beans the perp would've been DRT.

      Delete
    2. Lowly Anglo-Saxons and Norskers use battle-axes. Us high-falutin' Normans use swords.

      Okay, and hand axes. And Mace. Needless to say, someone maced by me will look a tad different than the normal mace victim.

      Thing is, with a battle-axe, you make either short chopping strokes (in order not to throw yourself off-balance,) or if you have room you make big circular or elliptical or infinity-sign shaped motions and cut through on the power swing. I actually prefer faking to the head and arms and taking the leg. Hard for the quarry to run away when it's got only one leg. Gives lots of time for Blood-Eagle, or Death-by-a-thousand-cuts, or just a good old-fashioned dragging to the pig-pen...

      No, I've never thought about what to do...

      Delete
    3. Ah, Beans, you never disappoint. 😉

      Delete
  3. Hey AFSarge;

    Enjoy the experience...it is parts of lifes journey and your fingers show that occasionally that you stumble a bit...metaphorically speaking, LOL. You need one of those talking birds as part of your villain act..oh wait wrong villain...lessee big fuzzy cat instead to round out that villain persona.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have cats, I can see them sitting on either side of my chair, flicking their tails and eyeing Mr. Bond with bad intent.

      Delete
  4. Man, I have a wrist weather reader just like your digit and knee. Down here, the cold fronts a weaker. I can't imagine what yours feels like up there in Santa-Land....

    As for nails, I've lost a few. High school basketball was hard on my feet. Besides the building new callouses by ripping old ones off, toenails didn't last when they got jumped on. I had one that I neglected for a few days, and it got stuck... Half attached, with a bloody mass under it. I lifted a corner and smelled a dead possum.... So a bucket of hot water and a cup of epsom, long soak, and it lifted off easy enough. But the goo underneath was...... other worldly.... I had a science experiment growing under there. It made some interesting shapes in the water.... But, I cleaned it out and the new one grew in, and all was well, till the next time some lug landed on it.

    I've never had a fingernail fall off, but I've had a ton of black nails... Got one now, as a matter of fact.

    Keep tapping that finger and working it, toughen it up. Don't baby it, or it'll start whining. Next thing you know, it'll start wearing skinny jeans and grow a beard and............

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ouch to the toenail thing! A wrist weather reader, that has to be a good story.

      I continually make the injured digit do things it would rather not, but it's working. No skinny jeans and man bun for that finger, I can tell you.

      Delete
  5. Not much consolation but at least your weather vane isn't a major joint like a knee or wrist, my Dad and Aunt both had those after replacement surgery. They could tell when the rain/snow/cold was moving in hours before it did. Good link there Sarge, was a Bond fan growing up although the Roger Moore efforts were a big disappointment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I do have the knee thing going on. Smashed it against someone's head once upon a time (hey, it was an accident, I swear) and the same knee again got to test the structural strength of a Phantom fuselage. (Phantom 1, Sarge nil.)

      I didn't mind Roger Moore all that much, more comedic than Sean Connery though. (A bug, not a feature.)

      Delete
    2. Nah, I liked Roger Moore and Sean Connery were, the ones I liked the best, because of the dry sarcastic comedy. Brosnan was ok not great, and the rest, bleh. I haven't watched on since the first Daniel Craig one. He ruined the role IMHO.

      Delete
    3. Movies have changed, for the most part, I don't think they are as entertaining as they used to be. There are exceptions, of course, but not as good as they were.

      Delete
    4. Yeah, Dunkirk was the last one I went to the theater to see. I can't think of any that I hadn't already seen that we've watched on Netflix or Amazon, so at best they were unremarkable. On MBD's recommendation, watched a few episodes of "The Good Place". Very quickly got to the point of "Not Funny" and somewhat blasphemous, so stopped watching that also.

      Delete
    5. Concur on The Good Place. Not so good after all.

      Delete
    6. But... I am glad your fingers are doing better. I texted you a status update. Did you receive it.?

      Delete
  6. My favorite Bond film was From Russia with Love - of course it was the plot that did it for me, It had nothing to do with the 'effects' instigated by Daniela Bianchi and her character on my 12 year old self. And Peripherally, to me, Robert Shaw made for a fine enemy - quite a distance from his character in Jaws.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remember Robert Shaw in Battle of the Bulge? He was an awesome bad guy in that one.

      Delete
  7. Glad it is healing. Once removed the tip of my ring finder with a hedge trimmer five days before the birth of my second son. Holding the wife's hands while she was in labor was an experience not to be repeated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I'll bet there was a lot of grimacing with that. On both your parts.

      Delete
  8. Good you play drums and not guitar.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I do play guitar as well. Itching to try but the finger isn't tough enough yet. So the drumming continues.

      Delete
  9. Good post. You nailed it!

    What did the leper say to the manicurist?





    Keep the tip!

    As to weather-witching. My sinuses and now my right face are definite predictors of weather activity, along with my back (especially right over the kidneys) and my fingers (thanks to arthritis, very low level, but it's there.) So I feel your pain, sort of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I do have the mild arthritis in the thumb and index finger of that hand to distract me from the mangled digit.

      Yeah, you feel the same pain. Probably more intense, I dare say.

      Delete
  10. I've lost a couple of nails over the years. The event leading up to the loss was usually accompanied by much screaming and tears in the eyes.

    And between my knees and right hip, I could probably do contract forecasting work for the National Weather Service.....

    ReplyDelete
  11. Goldfinger is too derivative. Coldfinger works, and your villain icon could be a single fingered glove! Even better that it's your middle finger!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I seem to recall another single-gloved villain.

    Yes I went there. It's a bug, not a feature. Well, I suppose you could successfully argue, um...

    Anyway, I clicked the link and I read it! I really, really read it! Three days late, but still. And it was rather enjoyable and amusing. I'll not start on the Bond series at this late date. However, two words: Tiffany Case.

    As for the finger thing, I need to write a Corpsman Chronicles post on that. Stay tooned. It'll be up soon, so long as the aliens hold off.

    Just a great post! Two thumb(nail)s up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, another of your comments I missed. I need to have a talk with my yeoman.

      Dr Strangelove, I presume?

      Delete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)