So...There I was...Luke AFB Late '70's. Been a 2LT for a little over a year, got my wings and managed to make it through Fighter Lead-In at Holloman AFB NM without any major issues. (Good as Pilot Training was, they were more interested in getting you up and getting you down safely than employing the airplane. Lead-In was to teach you the basics of flying a fighter with a sub-mission of ID'ing folks that really didn't have what IT took to be a fighter pilot. Fortunately I was not in that category.)
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| I've checked my logbook. I've flown this particular aircraft. I don't recall her looking this nice. Source | |
In any case, I'm now at Luke and am in the briefing for my first ride in the Phantom C. I've got an IP in the back seat, because AF rules say an IP has to qualify a pilot for landing. IMHO, an IWSO who's got a couple of thousand hours in the back seat can better judge whether the dummy in the front seat is going to land or crash in time to decide what to do. But...I ain't in charge. All I want to do is pass this ride and the next and the next...
We've gone over the plan for the mission which includes advanced handling in the area. In pilot training, this was called "Stalls and Falls", however, the Phantom's Emergency Procedures had two Bold Face procedures regarding Stalls and Out of Control procedures. They were a bit more serious than stalls and falls in the T-37/T-38 They go:
- Stick-Forward
- Ailerons and Rudder-Neutral
- If not recovered-Maintain Full Forward Stick and deploy drag chute
If that did not work, things got a bit more serious.
- Stick-Maintain Full Forward
- Aileron-Full with Spin (Turn Needle)
- Aircraft unloads- Ailerons Neutral
- If Out of Control at 10,000 Feet AGL - EJECT
The objective of Advanced Handling was to go through the first two steps in the first section and not need to continue from there. If you got into the second section, odds of having to complete all 4 steps were significantly higher than winning in Vegas.
But, we're going to the area mostly to burn down gas to get to landing weight. The mission's primary requirement is for me to learn how to land the beast. So, we do the stalls and falls, kinda boring really as the IP told me when to "recover" which was WAY earlier than I expected and therefore no big deal. (Later on when I was a qualified Pilot on my second assignment in the Phantom and was fighting an Aggressor in an F-5 and pulled just a "tad" too hard, I had my own demonstration of why he was reticent. Suffice it to say I made a "No Chute" landing on that mission.)
So, after the Advanced Handling, we come back to Luke for touch and go's. The IP is going to demo the first landing. We come in very fast IMHO, very steep and didn't flare (slow the descent rate just before touch down). I am a bit concerned. We land, he goes around then gives me the airplane and says "Just like that, Lieutenant."
Hmmm!
I come around, am a little steep, cross over the overrun, creep the power back and add a little back pressure to the stick. I then hear something unexpected. "Go around, Burners! Burners!"
I slam the airplane into Afterburner, see a positive rate of climb (meaning I'm not going to hit the ground...probably), retract the gear and flaps and wonder what in the world was going on, was there something I missed?
Suffice it to say, the next words out of the IP's mouth did not fit Sarge's acceptable vocabulary list so I'll clean them up a bit. Something along the lines of "What the #### were you doing, you ####ing idiot? ####ing trying to kill us? I've got the ####ing airplane, PAY ####ing attention this time."
He goes around and does a repeat of his kamikaze dive attack on the runway, goes around and says "Just like that you ####ing moron or you're gonna pink (flunk) this ride and I'll make sure your ###ing #ss is ####ing washed out!"
OK, I'm just a 2LT, but...I do have a bit of a temper. I think (also known as "Showed judgement and did not vocalize") "OK, #ss#ole, Hang on to your socks, cause here it comes." Pull up to Downwind (Meaning, I do a climbing 180 turn and head back down to the approach end of the runway). Configure Gear and Flaps, roll off into the final turn, get clearance for a touch and go, aim the jet at the very first brick and don't do anything with the throttles or stick from the time I rolled out on runway heading until touchdown.
Smacked that puppy on. The Navy would've been impressed. Luke AFB's field elevation had to be at least 6" lower. I'm thinking I'm going to have to write the airplane up as I had to have broken several things. Push the throttles up to Mil Power (full throttles, no afterburner) and go around. Pull up to Downwind and as I roll out there, the IP says "Great Job...Do it again!"
That's when my mental conversion from Pilot to Fighter Pilot began. The lesson was "Don't be afraid to fly the airplane to the edge of the envelope if necessary". That IP became my assigned IP and I flew most of my missions in F-4 school with him or "My" WSO (also an instructor but not a pilot. He taught me how to fly and employ a "Crewed" fighter. More to follow on that subject.)
So, juvat, what did this have to do with Sarge's post last week? Well, in last Tuesday's post, "Tumultuous Tuesday", he made this comment. " In my later years of working on the Phantom, when I had attained the lofty rank of Staff Sergeant, I would have had an apoplectic fit had I beheld a cockpit in such foul condition. I was known to go completely bat-shit crazy at beholding cockpits far less dirty than that. I didn't want any pilot of mine to roll the bird and get a face-full of crap from the cockpit floor."
That reminded me of another lesson from my episode with the F-5. Upon executing the bold face and deploying the drag chute, my F-4 pitched down (also known as negative G). Dust, dirt, a couple of screws, an old lineup card and other assorted crap flew up into my face. On review after landing, I interpreted this as the aircraft expressing her disappointment in my flying skills vis a vis the less capable F-5. She was explaining that if this were real, there was a distinct possibility that my WSO and I would be eating pumpkin soup under the "kind care" of whomever we were fighting at the time, while she would be splattered over a couple of square miles of somewhere. She wasn't happy about that and made her displeasure known by vomiting up what seemed like the several pounds of detritus spread on the cockpit floor.
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| There's something very special about this photo. BITD, THIS was MY airplane! Source |
I got the message and took it to heart. But...ever after that, as part of my "G Warmup" maneuvering at the start of a mission, I would be sure to unload the airplane to slightly negative G to see what might be hiding in the various spaces in the cockpit waiting to make their way into my eyes, ears, nose and throat.
To change the subject slightly and since we've been talking about being "out of control", I thought this little musical interlude would be in order..
Peace out y'ALL!
*Composed last Saturday since the Baby Shower for LJW/LJD was Sunday. I'm going to make myself scarce in that estrogen rich environment. LJD is doing well and is at 5.2 Lbs as of Saturday. Mrs. J got her a Doctor Look alike pair of scrubs for Halloween. Got quite a few chuckles from the staff.
