Adventures In Retail or How I Bought a Toilet Seat

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For those of you expecting another episode in von Lüttwitz's post-war exploits, sorry, not today. Might be a few days before I come back to that. Might be longer. For you see, Herr von Lüttwitz has an established history (fictional though it is) from the (still not published) book Almost a Lifetime and the still-in-work untitled prequel to that, which for now goes by the undistinguished Prequel - Part One.

Because of that, anything I write about von Lüttwitz really should match what I've written about him before. So I need to go back and reread certain things to make sure I don't write something which doesn't jive with "that which has gone before." Which amounts to some 1,300 pages of text in the two works. So, that might take a while ...

As the lead in photo might suggest, today's post is partially about toilet seats. Not the whole post mind you, just this part.

But first, I must digress.

I grew up with round toilet seats, which aren't really round but for convenience sake are referred to as round. I don't know when I first met the elongated variety of toilet seat, but I remember being somewhat disconcerted with them, at first.

But over time I learned to enjoy the extra room it gave one for certain things. Which I shall not go in to. As all of my readers are human, and from this planet, the last being an assumption, we all know what toilet seats are for.

Hhmm, my cultural bias is showing. Toilet facilities are very different in some countries (Japan and Korea immediately spring to mind), so perhaps I should say that most of my readers are from the United States (I know some of you are not) and therefore are somewhat familiar with the basic "round" versus "elongated" toilet seat types.

Anyhoo, I grew to appreciate the elongated seats, much as I grew to love driving an SUV versus driving a compact car. So when we renovated the upstairs bathroom at Chez Sarge, we decided that the elongated seat was the way to go.

As an aside I will mention that when we did the downstairs bathroom, which is significantly smaller than the upstairs, I presumed that the same type of toilet would be installed. I was wrong.

I came home to discover that the contractor had decided, quite on his own, that he would have the round style toilet installed, as "that will give you more space in the bathroom."

"Damn!" says I, "More space! Hey honey, we can hold ballroom dances in the downstairs bathroom now, look at all this extra room."

Yeah, two whole inches. I told the contractor, "Nope, elongated, get this abhorrent round monstrosity out of here."

The Missus Herself thought that perhaps a bit less sarcasm was called for, and she's probably right. But that had not been the first time the contractor decided that perhaps we should listen to him and not the other way around.

"Dude, I'm paying for this, so yeah, let's do it my way."

So all that just to establish my preference in toilet seats. Which, by the way, I had to purchase over the weekend.

Now back in the day I naturally assumed that, this being America, there would be 27 different varieties of toilet seat configuration and multiple seat color choices and materials. Therefore, I set out to measure the dimensions of the toilet seat that needed to be replaced.

The distance from one attach point to the other, the width of the seat, and, of course, the length. I even took photos of everything to make sure I would choose the right one as to dimensions and color as well.

When I arrived at my semi-local¹ big box store and headed back to the wall o' toilet seats, I noticed two things right away: 1) There are only two shapes of toilet seat and there is only one size of each,² and 2) there is only one color.

Upon closer examination I noticed a third thing, the seats had either a wood core or were all plastic. At first I thought that "white wood" was a color, until I checked the heft of the thing and realized, "Ah, wood core."

So all the measuring and photo taking had been for naught.

OTOH, there were different manufacturers, and as my toilet was made by Kohler, I went with that. (To the tune of thirty-five dollars! FJB! I know, I know, I was in the Air Force I should be happy the seat didn't cost me ten thousand dollars ...)

New seat purchased, new seat installed. My one big accomplishment over the weekend.

Since late November I have not been visiting Steam all that much, I was rather afraid that cutting off their access to my funds might drive them under. Not to worry, they stayed alive. So my other accomplishment over the weekend was to plunk down money for two new games: The Troop and Combat Mission: Battle for Normandy. I even had the chance to check them out on the new laptop.

The Troop covers the British experience around Caen from D-Day onwards. I like the way the game plays and I thought the user interface intuitive and easy to use.

OTOH, Combat Mission: Battle for Normandy (for which I bought all the add-ons and extra vehicles) covers the Americans, Germans, Brits and Poles as well. Both games have nice graphics but ...

Combat Mission: Battle for Normandy's user interface is non-intuitive and makes you read the manual to figure out how to do things. So I have that learning curve to climb.

But hey, I've got the time, the inclination, and the equipment to do so.

Just not sure I have the patience!

As The Missus Herself has returned from her sojourn in Maryland, I may not have the time, but we shall see.

Anyhoo, that's all for now.

Be back tomorrow with something else, probably non-fictional. Sorry.

¹ It's twelve miles away. The town where I live has a wee hardware store which is good for nuts and bolts and little things but doesn't carry toilet seats. My town also has zero fast food outlets, unless you count Dunkin' Donuts, which I don't. We used to have a Wendy's, which I loved but also noticed that it was so poorly managed and the employees so ill-trained that I doubted that it would last. I was correct. But I digress.

² At least at my semi-local big box store.

Nichts, Nada, Nothing ...

OAFS Photo

Woke up this AM, realized I forgot to post something for today.

Sigh ...

Let's just say, the dinosaur ate my homework ...

Nope, Not A Fiction Day, Sorry - It's Someone's Birthday

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That picture above?

Juvat's birthday cake, needs more candles but the fire marshal vetoed that.

But just in case, we've got this beauty on standby, ready to go.

In other news ...

Brutal day at work Monday, it's almost like I had to earn my pay for once. And I did, but with lots of help from my colleagues. No, they're not getting a cut of my wife's paycheck. I answer to a higher power.

Today would have been my Dad's 95th birthday, he's been gone for 13 years, but he's never far from my mind. Happy Birthday Dad! Miss you!

Dad in his soldiering days.

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics ...

Not sure where this lies in the above, but, somethin' ain't quite right ...

I'm used to seeing roughly a 1,000 hits a day, with the occasional spike as can be seen between the 15th and 19th of May. But starting near the end of last month, views skyrocketed to well over 8,000 a day (and climbing!), not sure where this is coming from, but I have three theories:

1. Blogger doesn't really know how to count, or gather statistics if you ain't paying for the "good stuff" - statistics wise.
2. Russian (and probably other, but I suspect Russian) spambots get really active from time to time, then settle down. This is the first time I've seen the stats go through the roof for more than a couple of days. We're at one week and counting ... (Maybe they're fleeing Ukraine?)
3. The blog has become really, really popular and we are attracting thousands of new readers. No, I don't really buy into this one.

But hey, the high numbers help to boost my already inflated ego. However, when each individual post garners maybe 300 views (tops, lately it's 200, if we're lucky), how does the overall hit count get that high? I mean we do one post a day, usually, sometimes two, but normally one.

Hey, I don't mind, but I feel a little undeserving, know what I mean?

Anyhoo, everybody wish juvat a happy birthday, I might be back tomorrow with another episode of Les Cent Jours. Or maybe not, we'll see how the paying gig goes!

Happy Birthday, Methuselah juvat!

And last, and certainly not least, let's not forget what happened 79 years ago today. One of the members of The Chant even wrote a book about it. Maybe it'll get published someday. (If that certain someone ever gets off his arse!)

A LCVP (Landing Craft, Vehicle, Personnel) from the U.S. Coast Guard-manned USS Samuel Chase disembarks troops of Company A, 16th Infantry, 1st Infantry Division (the Big Red One) wading onto the Fox Green section of Omaha Beach (Calvados, Basse-Normandie, France) on the morning of June 6, 1944. American soldiers encountered the newly formed German 352nd Division when landing. During the initial landing two-thirds of Company E became casualties.
(Source)

May their memory be a blessing.

Fish Friday, (on a Tuesday)

No, I'm not all messed up from the time change, nor is this an advertisement.  It's just a recap, so don't try showing up to my parish hall this Friday.  I ran my church's Lenten fish fry this past Friday, which was a little mixed in the pros and cons department.  Before I get to that I'll give you a little background.  Catholics tend to skip meat on Fridays during lent.  Why?  Well, Friday was the day Jesus was crucified, and the abstention from meat is in memory of him giving up his body (his flesh).  Hence, Fish Fridays.  It's not a sin to forget, or even skip it intentionally, but it is a sacrifice that we try to make to focus us as a form of penance.  It also can help us get a little more into the spirit of the Lenten season which is one about prayer, fasting, and penitential sacrifice ahead of our Lord and savior dying on the cross, and the best part- rising again!

To be perfectly honest, not eating meat on a Friday during Lent is not much of a sacrifice for me.  Yes, I know fish is a meat, but historically, we consider fish more of a plebeian entrée than the flesh from livestock, which was more expensive, eaten only occasionally, and was associated with feasting and rejoicing (Scallops, Lobster, and Chilean Seabass are notable exceptions!) Still doesn't make sense to you?  Dig deeper if you want more.  But as I was saying, me skipping meat is no big deal.  Not that I don't enjoy having something meaty at pretty much every meal, but I really enjoy fish and we are often having seafood or pasta as an entrée.  Fish tacos are close to the top of that "meatless" list, and San Diego definitely does that well.

If you didn't figure it out from that lead photo and missed me mentioning it in past posts, I'm a member of that fine organization, the KofC, and I pretty much head up the group of us at my church.  So when things need to be scheduled, planned, and coordinated, that duty falls to me. It might be "Keeping Christ in Christmas" by selling religious Christmas cards, running the beer garden at our parish school carnival, or during Lent, running the Lenten fish fry.  Some parishes run one every single weekend, but we are a small parish and have an even smaller handful of men who are willing to step up and help, so we just run a single dinner during the season.

I've been doing it for going on 16 years now- going back to when I PCS'd back to SanDog from duty in Tampa Florida.  I took it over from the previous Knight in 2008 who decided he didn't want to be a member anymore.  Always willing to step up, I was asked to help run it and I have been doing it ever since, never able to take a step back.

On the positive side, it was our most successful one to date, at least when it comes to the food.  Everyone that attended thought it was our best effort at making fish, tilapia in this case, and everything was prepared just in time for us to open and everything was still warm when the guests started showing up. We've often struggled with the timing and having people need to wait as we wait for the first or next batch to finish up.  We've baked the fish, grilled it, fried it, and usually gotten mixed reviews in the past.  But this year, we used some Old Bay, then quick fried it in a pan with butter, then finished it off in the oven which made it cook much faster and helped keep the supply going.  Most of our patrons thought it was better than any other attempt.  

Yelp

It's always a challenge with our ancient kitchen to get the oven right and get the fish cooked through properly on all sides of the pan, in all corners of the oven, or keeping the fryer at the right temperature, and to make sure we have enough ingredients and servings for everyone that shows.  It's also a balancing act to charge enough to make a little money for the church and the council, but not too much to scare anyone away.  Or have too many leftovers which means I overbought and wasted money that could have been profit for us.  We usually do it to benefit one cause or another, sometimes the school, sometimes the maintenance of the church, pro-life efforts or what have you.  This year it was for the repairs to our church bell tower which was discovered recently to be separating from the main structure of the church. Not sure what that maintenance bill is going to run, but my little parish has not recovered after covid and we have a very small collection plate and an even smaller maintenance fund through a second collection which is only once a month.

There are quite a few well-off parishes in the diocese that probably do well with their collections.  The diocesan tax on them probably helps some smaller parishes get by (barely), like mine, as we rarely bring in what it costs to sustain our parish needs.  We are cut to the bare bones though, trying to make ends meet, going down to just one part-time office staff member, more CCD costs shifted to the parents, and plenty of deferred maintenance.  I only explain that to show how much need there is for successful fundraising from any effort.

But anyhoo, I said it was a mix of pros and cons. While the food was delicious and no waiting was required, it rained quite heavily last Friday evening.  That severely dampened the turnout, despite the weeks-long announcements from the pulpit, church bulletin notices, and a couple emails to the parishioners from the church office.  I planned for 80 people which is actually very small compared to a lot of parishes but it's about 10% more than I usually serve, thinking the heavy advertisement would help.  That rain though.  We only served 20 total meals.  I had a small group of men to help, so each of us took home rolls, potatoes, and fish- enough to make us tired of fish for the rest of the season.  Assuming we eat it all of course before the already thawed-out fish needs to be tossed.  Yes, I considered donating to a local foodbank, but most of it was already cooked, and the fish that wasn't, had been sitting out waiting to be cooked.  I couldn't risk donating it to the general public.  

Fortunately we covered our costs.  We charged $15 this year ($10 in years past since the pastor wanted to make it affordable) as we need some funds for that tower.  I spent $268 on supplies so there are a few small bills I can throw towards the tower maintenance.  If only the rain had come some other day, we could have brought in over a grand, especially with beer and wine sales, of which the product was donated at no cost to us.  

Oh well, there's always next year.  However, I announced that someone else has to take the lead next year.  It's pretty stressful for me, buying all the supplies, shopping around to get the lowest prices, coordinated the volunteers, running the kitchen, etc.  I don't sleep well the week of the event, and the preps invade my dreams.  16 years in a row is some dedicated service to the parish if I do say so myself.  We'll see if any other Knight steps up next year, or if another group at the church wants to take it on.   

My last post alluded to me growing tired of my job.  This one has me tired of running a fish dinner.  

Maybe I'm just tired.

Filler

So, while Sarge is off on vacation and he asked Juvat, Beans and me to step in where we can, providing some filler here at the Chant, I'm doing my part.  I will avoid the standard political ranting that I'm known for, not because I am no longer political, nor that there's nothing to rant about, but I do have some other more joyous things to mention here today.

The title of filler could be because the content of this post is just filler, or I'm filling in for Sarge with some stuff that just takes up space, but I will try to make it a little more interesting for you.  However that term can also work in that I am feeling a little fulfilled with how my nephew below has chosen a path that makes me proud.

If you've followed my posts here on the Chant from the beginning, you may know that I come from a long line of military men and women. Well, woman that is, as my mother served in the Air Force as a nurse until she became pregnant with my older sister.  My grandfather was a SeaBee during WWII, I have an uncle who retired from the Marine corps (later commissioning me in the Navy), another Marine Corps uncle who flew in the back of F-4s, my mother's oldest brother was a Coast Guard Limited Duty Officer and gave me his officers sword, my adopted father was an Airedale, Aviation Ordinance Chief to be precise, which definitely led me towards Naval aviation, and my brother, who made his own path, serving in the Army and retiring out of the Oregon National Guard. 

A little over a year ago, his son- my nephew Kaleb, pictured above, reached out to me and asked about applying to the US Naval Academy.  While academics and leadership were not necessarily my brother's forte, it definitely has been for my nephew, a team captain for both his wrestling and football teams his senior year, and member of the Honor Society, while carrying a 3.9 GPA.  However, we found out a couple months back that despite having a nomination from his Congressman for the academy, he was not able to secure an appointment.  Before that, knowing how challenging it is to get that appointment, my wife and I had planned to come up for his graduation and speak to him in-depth about the Naval service.  I had already briefly discussed other paths towards a commission, to include an NROTC scholarship, the NROTC college program*, the Naval Academy Prep School, or the enlisted commission programs.  

That wasn't the only reason we wanted to see him graduate, as he is the youngest of the youngest of my family, and therefore the last grandkid of a very large Catholic family to graduate.  My mother is one of eight children, and all of them had anywhere from 3 to 6 kids, with my mother's kids being the youngest, and Kaleb is the youngest of her grandchildren.  So us being here for that is sort of the end of an era.

He attended one of the largest schools in the state, with nearly 2000 students enrolled, and there are many scholarships available, but his parents, neither of which attended college, must not have encouraged that avenue, so he did not apply for any.  He's a smart kid though, and doesn't see the benefit of taking on huge debt to attend college, so he will be enlisting in the Navy at the end of the summer.  I'm happy he has made that choice, but I'm sorry that there aren't other ways for him to attend college immediately.  I encouraged him to apply for an NROTC scholarship, as his grades and application, good enough for a Boat School nomination, would surely match up well with what the Navy is looking for in an NROTC student.  But he was so busy with academics, athletics, and work, that he missed the deadline. 

He has a good head on his shoulders though, and plans to relook at the NROTC option once he is finished with whatever schools the Navy gives him, which might be nuclear power.  I've seen many officers come through the nuke power path, because if they are smart enough to become a Nuke, they can probably handle the rigors of collegiate academics.  He may also consider becoming an Aviation Electronics Technician- somewhat akin to what Sarge did in the Air Force.

Nuke Electrician's Mate, Nuke Electronics Technician, Nuke Machinist Mate

Aviation Electronics Technician

Anyway, you can probably tell that I am rather pleased with his choice of career paths, and not taking on unnecessary debt that seems to saddle most of our youth these days.  For the summer he is working somewhat as a ranch hand at the local racetrack, taking care of the horses, being paid quite nicely which should put a few dollars in his pocket before he heads off to boot camp.  My wife and I are hoping he might get stationed in San Diego where we can see him and provide some respite from the fleet when needed. 

I'm not sure if his real goal is becoming a Naval Officer, or just getting some money for college later.  Maybe he doesn't know either, so guiding him towards Aviation or Nuclear Power is a conundrum for me.  On one hand, the nuke pipeline, while lucrative, is very challenging and if he didn't make it, he might get stuck with something he doesn't like.  Naval Aviation is tough work but very rewarding, and he will have a better than even chance of finding himself in San Diego.  It might also give him more time to get some college courses under his belt.  No matter what he chooses, it's good that he will be leaving Southern Oregon because it will open his eyes to different opportunities.  And as much as I love the area, there just aren't a lot of jobs up there.  

Any other advice I should give him?  Assuming he does well on the ASVAB later this month, he should be able to write his own ticket.  If there aren't jobs available in the field he wants, I'd expect he can just wait a month.  Fortunately, his dad and I cautioned him about some of the promises the recruiter might make- best case vs what's realistic, so he won't be pushed into something that's not right for him.

Well, that's enough filler for today. 

*NROTC College Program is for students who don't have a scholarship, but join the NROTC unit anyway.  If they keep their grades up, they can receive a 2 or 3 year scholarship for the remaining years.  If not, they can take a commission anyway, and just not have the same service commitment. 

Post? What Post?

IL-2 Sturmovik: Tank Crew – Clash at Prokhorovka
In Game Screen Shot
(Source)

As you may gather, I'm still playing with the new toy. This beast -

This is for Beans, who doubted the very existence of the new machine!

As the French knight might say ...

And yes, yes it is.

Porting stuff from old machine to new machine, getting cables and the like to connect old VGA type monitor plug to jolly-good new technology HDMI port on the new machine and other things. Still trying to figure out why my speaker system doesn't work with the new machine. I'll get there, I probably forgot to plug something in.

What's that? The opening screen shot? Oh yes, newest game there, pricey but oh-my-soul you're right there inside the tank. (Yes, yes juvat, hiding from airplanes and other tanks, life on the Eastern Front most certainly was nasty, brutish, and short.)

So you may gather that I was a bit busy on Friday, not to mention taking The Missus Herself out for a nice late lunch/early dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse. We both had the ribeye and the loaded baked potato. I also had a bowl of shrimp and lobster chowder (or chowda as it's said round these parts). First time I had my steak "medium," I used to get it "medium well."

No more, apparently I've been eating saddle leather all these years. Medium was, let's just say, more juicy than The Missus Herself cares for. Me?

Yum, juicy.
(Source)
Yes, you should chase this link and read the story. Lions eat poacher. It's a very nice ...

Yes, it suited me fine, I shall do it that way from now on.

Anyhoo, something you all should know, all of these military simulations I like to play, I get lots of ideas from them. Ideas you get to read second hand, somewhat translated to fit the story I'm trying to tell.

Anyhoo, Horst tells me that the engine in our Tiger is starting to overheat and the battalion commander is screaming at us to advance.

Hope we have some air cover this time ...

Back to the book soon, I hope. The Muse is enjoying this new computer nearly as much as I!

We Interrupt Our Regular Programming ...

(Source)

So, a few weeks ago my computer decided that it had had enough of my abuse and crashed.

Not "blue screen of death" crash but a "Please wait ..." screen, which lasts approximately forever. Okay, not forever, just a very long time.

After waiting far longer than my level of patience usually allows for, I went online, via my smart phone, to determine a course of action. Something about powering the machine off enough times that it will finally give you a system recovery screen. I forget most of the details as the experience was, in some ways, rather traumatic.

Anyhoo, at the recovery screen you can basically say "No" (I'm okay with never using my computer again) or "Okay." Now the screen warns you that basically the machine goes back to it's factory settings, all applications are removed. Your data is preserved, but all the cool stuff you had loaded will need to be reloaded. Which, you may gather, is a pain in the ass.

So I reloaded the things I needed right away, then gradually began restoring my games library, which is pretty large. It's been a few weeks now and things are, more or less, fine. But as time has gone along, the machine occasionally just locks up and refuses to go any further. (Very mule-like I noted.) Which requires a "hard" restart (hold the power button down for five second or so, do a five count, then power the beast back up).

Now this has sufficed for the nonce. I've noticed recently that there is often a ticking noise from the hard drive, which is "hard drive-ese" for "Hey, Ima gonna die soon."

So I decided that a new computer was in order. As my retirement date is now visible from the masthead, I decided to get a laptop (the company provided laptop has been very useful and I've grown accustomed to having a computer - not a smart phone - with me everywhere I go). A powerful laptop. Of course, The Missus Herself was absolutely thrilled at the prospect.

"How much does it cost?"

"Well over three grand for a good one."

"WHATTTT???!!!"

But she agreed, which rather stunned me, she usually makes me work a lot harder for such things.

Anyhoo, long story short, my son, The Naviguesser, called me on my birthday. As he is something of a genius when it comes to computers (hardware and software) I asked him for his recommendations as to which machine to look at.

"Wow, what a coincidence Dad. I was planning on getting you a computer for your birthday. Good to know that you want a laptop, I'm going to send you some data on the one I think you should get, let me know."

Now of course, that was not the full extent of the conversation. But that was the part relevant to this post.

Which by now you are probably wondering, "Uh, what IS the point of this post. (Grumble, grumble, where is my WWII story?)"

Ah yes, the point, the salient point ...

The new computer has arrived at Chez Sarge, so I will need to spend some time getting it set up. Which I will be doing rather than give you a real post.

Sorry ...

Kid ...

New toy ...

I'm sure you understand.

A domani!

Editor's Note: Yup, AAR to follow.

Post-Christmas Post

Happy 3rd or 4th day of Christmas, depending on what day Sarge (and Beans) lets me publish this. I was inspired by Beans' post about holiday cooking as well as one by Juvat where he spoke about doing some of his own work on his mancave/workshop.*  About 10 days ago our oven stopped working.  The burners worked fine, but the oven itself would not preheat, or any function using the panel.  I went online to our Next Door app, which is useful and entertaining with posts of dog poop anger, parking woes, or sketchy people walking through the neighborhood.  It's also helpful for getting recommendations for handymen, contractors, and in my case- reputable appliance repairs.  I used the app to click a link and contact one company, but apparently Next Door uses something called Thumbtack- posting my request to several appliance repair places.  Minutes later I was on the phone with one of them and got two calls waiting from other companies.  Each of them was $10 more than the next for a service call, a charge that is waved of course if a repair is needed and purchased.  One of them was able to come over in about an hour, and after pulling the oven out from the wall and removing the back panel, he fiddled with some wires and it started working again.  It was some sort of short, or maybe something else.  I wasn't really sure as his Russian accent was thick and he mainly said the panel was going out.  A repair might be a workable solution, but a replacement panel wasn't possible since they are out of production, with our oven being fairly old, installed back we had our kitchen renovated in 2008.

As it turned out that repair only lasted about 3 days so my wife and I made the expensive decision to buy a new oven, not confident that a more in-depth repair would last or that a used or refurbished part could be found.  We also didn't want to wait seeing how I had planned a big Christmas dinner.  More on that later.

A quick trip to the Navy exchange was unsuccessful as the COVID-supply chain woes must have also affected their offerings.  None, of only four available in the Navy's second largest Navy Exchange (Norfolk's is larger), were compatible with our kitchen.  We were needing a slide-in gas range, vice the freestanding or electric ones they had.  We then checked out our local Best Buy which had some decent sales and several ranges that we were interested in.  I asked my boss who had recently replaced one where that purchase was made and was reminded that Lowe's has a military discount which saved us $100 on the one we purchased. Best part of that is that it was available (one of the main reasons it was chosen), local (Escondido - 30 min north), and could be delivered on Wednesday the 22nd.

My command has been allowing liberal leave and telework schedules over Christmas so I took the afternoon off to meet the delivery man, also paying Lowes for them to connect the gas line and haul away the old range.  When it showed up one of them disconnected the gas line and removed the old range while the other brought the new stove off of the truck. Unfortunately once it was opened I realized it was the wrong oven. The correct one wasn't even on the truck. He made a phone call and then I got both an email and a text saying that the order was canceled.  They left, I called Lowes Customer Service, and after 15 minutes finally found out that Lowe's had canceled it because the stove was no longer in stock. I thought this was absolute horse$#!% not quite right because there were three of them in stock just two days before.  I then called the store, asking for a manager, explaining that the reason I had ordered this particular model was because it was in stock and I needed to cook Christmas dinner.  He said he would look into it and call me back right away.  The lady in charge of appliances and called me back shortly thereafter stating that they found another stove in stock at the nearby Lowes (5 minutes away) and they would be delivering it on Thursday the 23rd.  Christmas Dinner crisis averted!  Or was it?

Fortunately that delivery went without a hitch other than them telling me that they wouldn't install it since the gas line was in the back of a cabinet next to the stove.  When we had the kitchen remodeled we had removed a wall oven which was directly above that gas line.  That must have been easier for our contractor to just route a new hose through the back of the cabinet, vice moving the gas line about 6 inches to the left.  So I had the delivery guys just leave it in place and I said I would hook the gas line up myself.

To be honest I was a little out of my comfort zone with that one, but I took the necessary precautions, securing the gas to the house, securing the line at the stove connection and ensuring everything was well ventilated just in case. Unfortunately the old stove was at a lower BTU then the new one so a new gas pipe nozzle would be needed. I later found out that the new line I ordered that was recommended with my purchase didn't have the adapter so off to Lowe's again. The guy in appliances was very helpful and gave me the correct adapter because it was supposed to have been in the box already.  If you've ever noticed at those big box stores, packages seem to get rifled through and sometimes you'll find them on the shelf ripped open with screws or parts missing, or other irregularities.  Our box was no exception.

Thanks for the parking spot Lowes!

So, after one Lowe's trip for the fitting (and installation fee refund), and one Home Depot trip for the larger gas valve, I was finally prepared.  Then I wrenched my back as I twisted on the floor to reach into that cabinet, not to mention climbing behind the stove which had little room to spare due to the short length of the gas line.  Turns out righty tighty, lefty loosey is a little complex when you're upside down on your back with your hands over your head.  Anyhoo, after several tries I finally got it all hooked up in time for dinner.*  

Christmas dinner was amazing. I made a prime rib for the first time in my life and it turned out perfect. The instructions were very interesting to me as I had never cooked something like this before. It said to season the roast with a garlic, salt, and pepper rub, lay it fat side down in the pan, and cook it at 550 for only 5 minutes per pound**, then securing the heat and leaving in the oven for 2 hours without opening the door.  I guess it seared the outside allowed it to just slow cook on the inside. It was delicious and I will be making that again.

I paired it with some seasoned potatoes, grilled asparagus, and both a Pinot noir and leftover champagne from our Christmas morning mimosas.  My wife broke out the China as we don't use it often enough, and Christmas Dinner is a perfect opportunity to use it while breaking bread to celebrate our Lord's birth.

I'm familiar with songs using this lyric, but I didn't realize that "I Heard the Bells On Christmas Day" was a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  It's a nice one for the season, but also gets semi-political at the end if you want to read it that way.  Fortunately Longfellow is a bit of an optimist, knowing that what's good and holy will win out in the end.  Enjoy the poem, then a musical variation which is one of my favorites of the season.

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
    And wild and sweet
    The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
    Had rolled along
    The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
    A voice, a chime,
    A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
    And with the sound
    The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
    And made forlorn
    The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
    "For hate is strong,
    And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
    The Wrong shall fail,
    The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men."

Enjoy the rest of the Christmas Season.  I will be keeping it going, trying to keep my wife from dismantling the house before Epiphany.

Oh wait, I almost forgot about Christmas Eve Mass.  There's no midnight mass anymore apparently, and my own parish has only a bilingual service at 5pm, and the same at 9am on Christmas morning.  So we attended a lovely service at 9:30PM at the even more lovely Carmelite Monastery here in San Diego, just a few minutes away from our house.  If one googles it, it says that it's permanently closed.  In a way it is, as it's not an active parish in the diocese, but they (Discalced Carmelite Nuns) do hold daily and weekend masses which are technically open to the public.   We invited a friend to join us, and when she arrived she was amazed that such a beautiful place was so unknown. "It's like a secret church" she said.  It only has eight or so rows, with seats for 6 people on each side, so we were surprised it wasn't more full, but our government has definitely ramped up the Omicron fear.  I hope you have a fear-free New Year and see you 'round the Chant!

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Final final note-  Juvat wanted me to call attention to an important update to his Monday post- that he had incorrectly stated that the unvaxxed were allowed onboard.  Other than small kids, everyone had been vaxxed.  So any of you unvaxxed hopeful cruisers will have to re-think your plans.

*Turns out I didn't use enough plumbers' putty so the next day we smelled a little gas, but I just removed all the connections and reapplied more, but with plumbers tape as well.  No asphyxiation so far so wish me luck.

**5 minutes for rare, 6 for medium, 7 for well.  I went for medium rare.

Lagged...

I can appreciate the sentiment.
The view from my hotel window.

As in jet...

So yes, it's only three hours difference but...

I go to bed at "way too early" Sandy Eggo time (but is a tad late for Little Rhody) and get up "way too early" Sandy Eggo time, but which is perilously late here at the Home Office.

Work has also been very busy, in a good way. Trying to straighten out what is supposed to be in the system and what we had on the ship. Let me just say this, there were a couple of disconnects. We accomplished what the Navy wanted but the civilian side of the government has their own ideas as well.

The two don't always match, guess who gets to make sure it all comes together by December?

I don't get to pick and choose, but I do get to advise. Woe to those who don't listen, the Navy remembers when you don't give them what they need. I mean the guys wearing uniforms and actually under way, not the desk jockeys. The desk jockeys often want their cake and eat it too, which upper management seems to think is possible. But many in upper management are like the Bourbons of France...

Ils n'ont rien appris, ni rien oublié.¹

- Attributed to Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand by the Chevalier de Panat, speaking of the Bourbons after their return to France after the fall of Napoléon. 

Ah well, I'm going to bed.

I got nothing.

¹ They have learnt nothing, and forgotten nothing.

You Can't Beat the View...

I've been in worse places.

Flights weren't too bad. Wearing a mask while on an aircraft is, how do I put it, awful. Simply awful.

Now to work...

And We're Off...

(Source)

Sandy Eggo, here I come...

AAR to follow.