 |
| (Source) |
I had a very strange dream Sunday night, throughout the dream I felt disconnected from those around me, none of whom I knew, or perhaps I should say recognized. I had a feeling of being lost, without any prospect of being found again.
Buildings with staircases which led nowhere, strange neighborhoods where there were people, all of whom were decidedly unfriendly. I did have a companion, a very young lion who was becoming more and more uncontrollable. Not from a sense of being threatening but from a sense of wanting to be independent. (I was "controlling" the lion using a hand under his/her collar. During the dream I referred to the animal as a "mountain lion" but upon awakening realized that it might have actually been an African lion.)
Needless to say, when I woke up I was in a rather unpleasant state of mind. "What was that all about?" was foremost in my sleepy mind. Shaking my head, I went back to sleep. When I finally got up to get ready for work, I remembered the dream. It struck me that I had dreamed of one possible version of Hell.
So I did some reading, as always when dealing with religion, there are no ready answers. Certainly though there are nearly limitless interpretations of scripture, both Christian and other, not to mention the numerous translations of those scriptures.
So what made me interpret the dream as a vision of Hell in the first place? The feeling of being lost, lost in a profound and unredeemable way. If that isn't Hell, I don't know what is.
I did go to church Sunday morning, and I guess at least one thing the pastor said stuck with me. Much of the sermon had to do with "getting ready for Christmas," not the buying of presents and decorating the house kind of getting ready. Nope, not that at all.
The sermon covered John the Baptist and the first advent season. Preparing for the coming of the Christ and how we need to be ready for the second advent was the point of the sermon. Perhaps something deep inside of me feels like I'm no way ready for that second coming. Perhaps.
Lately I seem to be at odds with my professed religion. In many ways I have the feeling that the signal-to-noise ratio is so low¹ that I'm being distracted by all the various interpretations and missing the real message. Or perhaps I am not as receptive to the message as I should be. (And that "should be" part raises a number of issues in my head.)
Religion is, in many ways, a lot like politics, one of those things one does not discuss in the wardroom. At least as I recall those things which Lex mentioned shouldn't be discussed, what do I know, I was in the Air Force and a bloody low-life NCO to boot. But to my mind, anything which might set people on edge (or worse yet at each other's throats) is a topic to be avoided in polite company.
So I'm violating that principle here, but it was something on my mind and something I wanted to get off my chest. In many ways I'm "all at sea" lately, can't seem to get my bearings and have no sense of the current. (In both the literal and figurative sense of that word.)
I have opinions, I also have little patience with dogma, but I have a good feeling for right and wrong. I'm sometimes guilty of the latter, but try to stay with the former. Perhaps it was my pastor saying "There will be a lot of unhappy people come Judgement Day ..."
Probably true, but ...
I have doubts.
Far too many for me to be comfortable with, perhaps I'm overthinking things, I often do.
But the Bard had it right ...
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 5
Anyhoo, that's all I've got for now.
Color me, out of sorts.
¹ A low signal-to-noise ratio indicates that the signal is almost indiscernible from the background noise. The higher the ratio, the better the signal.
