Friday, September 20, 2024

Hovering Things

Spanish Navy EAV-8B Matador II Plus
PxHere
Back in the day, circa 1976-78, I was a young airman assigned to the mighty 18th Tactical Fighter Wing upon the sunny Japanese isle of Okinawa. While the food at my local eating emporium (what we called the "chow hall" in the Air Force) wasn't bad, it also wasn't great. Which, for an Air Force base was odd, my general experience with Air Force dining facilities was that they were uniformly pretty good. (With the exception of Medina Annex at Lackland AFB back in '87, that food was dogshit bad.)

Now there came a day off where I was feeling a mite peckish and didn't wish to visit the Chow hall, there were other places to eat, of course, but I was in the mood for something different. Now word had come to me at some point in time that the MAC¹ terminal snack bar served a rather nice cheeseburger. So I ventured forth to discover for myself, the veracity of the intel I had received about the MAC terminal snack bar's burger.

It was a pleasant day, not as hot as an Okinawa day could be, so I presume my trip wasn't during the summer. Or if it did, it wasn't an abnormally hot day, I did eventually acclimatize myself to Okinawan weather, so it could have been summer, but I digress.

So on the walk I heard a most unusual engine sound, a jet engine mind you, didn't sound like an F-4, didn't sound like a T-39, didn't sound like a KC-135, and it certainly didn't sound like an SR-71. As I pondered what jet would make such a sound, an apparition appeared in the trees between me and the MAC terminal.

I stopped walking, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, my brain was wondering, "What the hell is that?"

Then it appeared, it was an AV-8 USMC Harrier, the first of that species I had encountered outside of picture books. It was pretty damned cool, seeing a jet aircraft, hovering there in front of the MAC terminal. Smokey sumbitch as I recall in later years.

As to that burger?


There was another time, I want to say it was 1978, which I'll explain in a moment, when I encountered a hovering thing in front of the MAC terminal on Okinawa. I was sitting on an Air Force "Blue Goose," one of these ...

USAF "Blue Goose"
Source
Now why was I on a "Blue Goose" in front of the MAC terminal in (probably) 1978. Might have been to ride out to a C-130 for a flight to Korea, but as I recall (I took that flight frequently from '77 to '78) the bird was normally parked within walking distance of the terminal.

I may have been on the bus in order to go to M-16 training, which occurred on a Marine base on Okinawa, I believe Camp Hansen. (Their rifle range is sort of in the middle of the artillery range as I recall. One could hear 105 rounds going downrange when we weren't actually firing our own weapons. Kinda cool, not everyone thought so. Some of my fellow airmen weren't as attuned to actual firearms and things which went BOOM.)

So the reason for being on that bus are lost to memory. Suffice to say, I was on a "Blue Goose" sitting on the ramp in front of the MAC terminal at Kadena AB, Okinawa. Also on that ramp was this big-ass helicopter, one of these -

Crew guides CH-47 Chinook for sling-load training support at Fort McCoy.
Source
Whilst awaiting the bus to depart, to take us to our destination, said helicopter, officially known as the "Chinook," affectionately known as the "Shithook," wound up its engines and its rotor blades began to turn.

"Oh cool," says I from the bus next to a window facing the helicopter, "I get to see a Shithook up close and personal."

Said helicopter, rotors up to speed now, begins to taxi, in the direction of the "Blue Goose" within which I am ensconced.

Now those rotor blades are rather long, I was beginning to think that those rotors were beginning to come uncomfortably close to my bus. The bus within which I am trapped, next to a window, with whirling blades of helicopter death approaching inexorably.

I do think I was close to (a) jumping off the bus, (b) soiling my trousers, (c) screaming like a little girl, or (d) all of the above, when all of a sudden, the big helicopter stops rolling forward and instead goes up into a hover, turns, then heads towards the active runway.

As the Shithook receded into the distance I breathed a sigh of relief.

It was cool and terrifying, at the same time.

Which describes parts of life in the military very well. The rest is all rather boring, one's specific branch and career field determines the relative ratio of terrifying to boring. For instance, Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) in the Air Force can have a high ratio of terrifying to boring, clerks in the USAF, much lower. Marines, Army, and Navy all tend to have higher ratios compared to the USAF, unless one is engaged in operating aircraft in the USAF.

Coast Guard, holy shit, you have to go out, you don't have to come back? Damn, I'm guessing they have a very high ratio of terrifying to boring.

Anyhoo, that's my experience with hovering things. Have I ever been in a helicopter, yes, a CH-46 aboard USS Midway, have I ever flown in a helicopter? Hell no. My SWO son, The Naviguesser, assures me that it is something of an unnerving experience, especially at sea, out of sight of land.

He's been there, done that, doesn't want to do it again.

I'll take his word for it ...




¹ Military Airlift Command, now it's called something else. I should, some day, post a rant about the Air Force's nearly constant, insane, changing of names, and uniforms, some day.

54 comments:

  1. Not much time left for those Harriers to be seen, F-35s will completely replace them by 2026. Here's one vote for the name/uniform changes post Sarge.

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  2. Sarge, I believe it’s Air Mobility Command. At least it was when I retired, which w as sufficiently long enough ago to have had several more changes. Maybe even “planes that haul crap all around the world” which is an apt description if I do say so myself.
    juvat

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    1. Yup, it became AMC, right around the time SAC became STRATCOM and TAC became ACC. I wonder how much all those changes cost. Probably not as much as McPeak's stupid uniform changes.

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    2. Few things Air Force were as stupid as that uniform change.
      BG

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    3. And that's really a pretty low bar lately.

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  3. Re the Chinook, you might want to check out a podcast called Opposing Bases. Couple of FAA ATC controllers, one being an Army pilot with many hours in the Chinook. Aside from that it is a great podcast, they have been referred to as the Click & Clack of ATC.

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    1. I keep hearing about podcasts, I'd never listened to any before until driving back from the Antietam battlefield when my daughter had a Civil War podcast playing in the car. Made the long drive far more tolerable.

      My problem is, I'm a very visual guy, I have a hard time sitting and listening to anything. That being said, once I retire I've been told (and have agreed to the concept) that we need to start doing driving trips around the country. Podcasts would be perfect for such a thing. (I love listening to music while I drive, unfortunately it's normally at a volume that The Missus Herself can't abide. Sigh ...)

      Long story short, I'll give it a shot eventually.

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    2. Driving after you retire... You can "drive to get there", podcasts or books on tape are huge at helping me stay awake. Or you can "be a tourist" and not worry about staying awake because you stop long before you get that tired, you do your driving during the day so you can see what things look like and you don't want to miss the numerous roadside attractions on the way. With luck you're able to stop and take a look at the attractions on the way.

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    3. Best part is that it is YOUR choice, and you can change your mind about what, where, when, why or how you go. Solicit input from the passenger(s) as well, but you got the keys and the wheel, so that may be more of a diplomatic move than actual decision making process.
      JB

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    4. Rob - We're talking about taking a drive down to Amish country, swing by Gettysburg for a few days, then head on down to Maryland to see the grands. All leisurely, no rush, after all, don't have to take PTO, don't have to answer to some boss.

      Just relax and smell the roses along the way!

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    5. JB - Roger that. The Pilot In Command gets to point the nose, regardless of crew input. (I wonder how long I can get away with that? 🙄)

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    6. Once you start long-distance travelling, I highly recommend the 6-hour rule. As in, drive no longer than 6 hours on highways. Save your sanity, eat at good restaurants but don't travel longer than 6 hours on the damned road. Your back and bladder will thank you.

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    7. Actually I've been doing long distance traveling for years. In retirement the trip will be about seeing things, not necessarily getting somewhere on a fixed schedule.

      No more schedules!

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    8. Old habits can be tough to get past, just remember you have a new plan on traveling and stop to see what the sign is advertising. (That was hard for me to learn!)

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    9. I'm not really a wanderer, I go places on purpose, but maybe I could learn to stop and see the world's largest ball of twine.

      Anything is possible, I suppose.

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  4. "Crew guides CH-47 Chinook for sling-load training support at Fort McCoy."

    Every time I see a photo like that I can't help thinking the guy is taking his dog out for its morning constitutional. And wondering how big a bag he has to clean up after it.

    Re: Coast Guard. Amazing that they can keep the boats afloat with all the big brass ones on board. https://weather.com/news/news/2018-12-18-san-francisco-high-surf-coast-guard-traininghttps://www.facebook.com/norcalwild/posts/pfbid0jKVMQRTkw4DpVU7ezbyNk3iY5G6FSQxV7YaEgovVXG5we9aQS3N4LVjDDirzXRNMl?ref=embed_POST

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    1. I have no idea how they stay afloat carrying all that weight.

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  5. Sarge, now that you mention it, I have never been up in a helicopter either. And now that I think about it, that may fall into the "If it never happens I am good" category.

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    1. Nothing about it appeals to me. Might be a personal flaw.

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    2. Nothing like a helicopter (with a GOOD pilot) for beach combing!

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    3. Good pilot being the operative words, also the helo should be well-maintained!

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    4. Well Sarge; if you ever get an opportunity to fly in a Huey, flown by an artist on a low-level route with the doors open; take it!
      Boat Guy

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    5. My stomach climbed into my throat just thinking about it ...

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  6. I was 16, working at an FBO on LBB. Suddenly, two Chinooks show up on the taxi way. I run out to "park" them. I had my sticks, Mickey Mouse ears, and 15 minutes of training. They head in to itinerant parking and then this helmet pops out of a window and vigorously begins to wave me out of the way. Not how I was trained, but he is bigger than me, so I back out of position quickly. The rear end of the monster starts swinging around right thru my previous spot. Wow! I figure they are professionals, so I let them alone to do their biz and just watch. Found out those mumps lumps on the side are fuel tanks! They hold a lot..... X4!

    "I should, some day, post a rant about the Air Force's nearly constant, insane, changing of names, and uniforms, some day." That is a road that leads to madness....

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    1. I'm going nuts just thinking about it. The USAF taught me to HATE change.

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    2. STxAR
      Interesting, what FBO and when? I kept myself in beer money doing the same at that airport.
      Perhaps we crossed paths.
      juvat

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  7. Scary moments? Circa 1960's, monthly alerts, usually 0030, 112 large vehicles rushing from the Kasene to the alert position six miles away. Why scary? Maybe 40% of the drivers were stone sober while the others had closed down the EM Club at 2300 the previous day.

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  8. My only close encounter with a helicopter was at Ft. Hunter Liggett. On the way to an SCA event at Lake San Antonio we had to drive thru there and had stopped to tour Mission San Antonio de Padua. Had a nice talk with one of the friars. I asked about the pulpit being on the left side of the altar, viewers right, rather than the usual right side. He asked about why I was wearing a great kilt.

    We left, drove around a turn in the road and was face to face with a Cobra about 50' over the road, slightly nose down so its guns were bearing on whoever came around that corner. Slammed on the brakes. Looked around wondering what I had done. And there, about 100 yards to my left, under some trees, were a bunch of guys in uniform laughing their butts off. I waved and laughed. A couple of them waved back. Cobra dipped its nose a little more and moved off towards the trees.

    Bored soldiers playing mind games.

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  9. Helos, they're okay. Way back I had some training to operate (fly?) the Navy's QH-50C and QH-50D drone anti-submarine helicopters (DASH). So, the basic concepts of rotary wings making things fly, and the ability of marginally qualified people to keep them under control and get off into the wild blue and back again still in condition to fly again was instilled. Next tour was on an island in the Caribbean where the Navy operated ranges on parts of other islands for naval gunfire support and air to ground bombing, rocketry and strafing. People went out to the islands to score, etc, which basically meant we had flights to/from those locations several times a week, with my arse riding in Naval Aviator equipment rather frequently. Taxi service was courtesy of Fleet Composite Squadron EIGHT, outfitted with less than the newest aircraft, but suitable for supporting training operations. Thus I got to ride in some H-34s which I regarded with suspicion and trepidation. Eventually they were upgraded to SH-3s, which I felt very confident in, partly because they had twice as many engines, and were a lot newer, and were capable of water landings. Sometimes when VC-8 helos were off doing other than taxi service, we were able to bum rides home from other birds in the area, including once or twice on USMC H-53s, a mammoth flying rain forest of hydraulic leaks, but as long as they were leaking they still had enough to fly.

    I did not mind those flights, or some other space-available trips on USN or USAF C-12, C-131, C-54, C-9, or C-141 aircraft often flown by Lieutenants with only a couple years service or flying experience. But, incongruously, I have a loathing of flying on commercial aircraft. Maybe the latter is due to the cattle like conditions (albeit with better seats than the canvas troop seats on some of the military transports), or maybe it is the whole commercial terminal experience with remote parking, surly counter clerks, knuckle dragging TSA goons or having to pay for the whole thing. So, I drive rather than fly, and have only flown about 6-8 times in the last 25 years.

    AV-8s are amazing birds, and the Marines and Royal Navy types who flew them seemed to be very proficient and IIRC rather liked them. USMC buying up all the decommissioned RN airframes to use as spares was a typical Marine move to get maximum bang for their few bucks.
    John Blackshoe

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    1. You got to experience the H-34? A cool-looking bird, Korean War era, right? Okay, 1954, close enough. That helo is one year younger than me.

      Sigh.

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    2. There was a civilian model of the H-34 flying all the time in the Dallas area. I think they were using it to lift HVAC gear to the tops of tall building, but really not sure. I haven't seen it in a few years. My late father-in-law went into a couple of LZs on H-34s as a Marine platoon, then company commander. One was expected to be hot, but the NVA had been pulling out and breaking off battle in the area just as they were loading up. That was a major relief!

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    3. Had a model of one as a kid, one of my favorites.

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  10. Nice thing about the Chinook is there's no head-chopping tail rotor to mess up your day. And, yes, they are big. Never got to see one up close.

    Now, the AF Pararescue teams flying out of Patrick AFB to support the manned launches out of Cape Canaveral using the HH-3 Jolly Green Giant. The same type of helo that the Son Tay Raiders crashed purposefully in the Son Tay Raid. The rocket club at the junior high I was at almost shot one down, accidentally, of course.

    And I've seen a Sea Stallion. That's one damned big helo.

    Though my dad got to fly on some weird stuff. A couple days on a naval radar blimp. Caught a ride from California to Florida on the Super Guppy.

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    1. The Jolly Green is impressive.

      The Super Guppy? Now that's just cool.

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    2. Totally cool.

      Though I think the Navy radar blimp is the oddest, in all the things that fly. Dad said it was comfortable and they got to sneak up on semi-naked women sunbathing on beaches.

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    3. The blimp is odd, but also pretty cool.

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  11. Before MAC they were MATS and could even have an all Navy crew. The fun part was flying backwards, seated three on one side of the aisle, four on the other side.

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    1. Speaking of hovering things, MB and I were in Sandy Eggo las weekend visiting family, and for the Gold Cup at Bayfair. Whilst passing Camp Pendleton we observed a V-22 Osprey. Later, while visiting Coronado we say three more making approaches to North Island.
      We wouldn't have been there, but GS's nephew is THE stat man for the boat races, and also is the guy who makes the H1 streaming work on Youtube. His wife sang the National Anthem on Sunday.

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    2. Skip #1 - Flying military transport always felt like flying in someone's basement. And loud, boy it was loud.

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    3. Skip #2 - Sounds like a great trip, I do like Sandy Eggo!

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  12. Ospreys SUCK! Neither fish nor fowl!
    USMC made AFSOF give up the MH-53 Pave Lows for them (USMC was the money behind the -53 platform). AFSOF dutifully goes for the -22; then USMC decides "Hey! We like us some 53's after all! Let's get one with yet another engine!" Dunno if AFSOF can do the Pave treatment on it or not nut they damn well oughtta.
    Boat Guy

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  13. Back in the Grand Forks ND flood in 1997, there were so many helicopters overhead, we didn't even look up, because we would recognize them from the rotor sound (a veteran wrote later that he was having flashbacks to Vietnam). The exception was a Chinook that came low over my house. That was an authoritatively loud rotor sound. Years earlier on a geology field trip (1974), I was camping and sleeping (not restfully) in the Black Hills. At the first light of dawn a Sikorsky Sky crane commenced lifting out logs from a nearby hillside. The rotor noise of that monster under a heavy load would put a CH-47 to shame.

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  14. Touch-n-Go Cafe on Navy side was the best quick food on Kadena until AAFES took over in 87.
    Overnight change in the food. One day huge chicken fried chicken sandwiches and pancakes as big as the plate, the next day, tiny McChicken style sandwiches and probably microwave pancakes. Never went back. I swear they switched to filter pack coffee too.

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    1. Never made it over to that side of the base. Doesn't surprise me that AAFES would screw things up.

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