Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Expensive Weekend

(Sources L to R: 1 2 3)
Three day weekend, two of the grandkids and the DIL visiting, what could possibly go wrong? That's pretty much what was running through my head on the drive home after work last Thursday night. Well...

"Hi honey, my 'Maintenance Required' light came on in the car today." said the love of my life.

"Wow, did you..."

"I have an appointment to get that checked Friday afternoon at two."

"Ah, alrighty then."

On Friday afternoon, The Missus Herself informed me that the maintenance light was for an oil change. (And you didn't know when your oil was supposed to be changed, because... - I thought to myself, of course. Though I can be brave, I ain't suicidal.)

"Oh yeah, my brakes are damned near shot so I'm taking the car back tomorrow to get those fixed."

Okay, the car has the original brakes, it's like five years old, less than 20K miles, but yeah, okay, it's one of those things that have to be done periodically. Better keep it maintained than ask the question, "Hhmm, why am I not stopping and what is that loud squealing noise?"

Then, I am informed by the distaff side of the household that I will be putting in the downstairs air conditioner on Saturday.

"Um, remember what I said last year? We need a new one, the old one won't stay in the window as the rail on top is busted."

"So we'll buy a new one after we drop my car off to get the brakes fixed."

"Oh that's right, I forgot, air conditioners are free this year."

Okay, sometimes brave, not suicidal, but I am sometimes stupid and say things which earn me, "The Look." Yes, that just now was one of those times.


Thoroughly chastened I agreed that we should go buy an air conditioner on Saturday.

We dropped the car off (it being Saturday on this timeline) and headed west to Best Buy for to purchase a window air conditioner. Only to discover that the main road (Route 6 for those with a map handy) between Swansea and Seekonk is closed*. So after spending rather a long time exploring the back roads on the way to Best Buy, we arrived at our destination and found that air conditioners were to be had for a fairly reasonable fee. (Though most assuredly not free.)

We purchased said item and headed home (her car not ready yet, so we did not retrace our steps searching for the Northwest Passage). We got home, had a chance to catch our breath and then got the call that "your car is ready."

So far, (for those wondering where the post title comes from) - roughly a hundred bucks for the oil change, 350 for the air conditioner, 700 for the brake job, for those who are arithmetically challenged, that's one-thousand, one hundred and fifty simoleons laid out and Saturday ain't quite done yet.

We get home and I settle in to write Sunday's post...

"Honey, my cell phone isn't working."

I check, the battery is gone, well, it's still inside the unit, but it has joined the choir invisible, it has gone to its reward in battery heaven, it's pushing up the daisies, bereft of life it lies there...

In other words, it's an "ex-battery." (With apologies to the Pythons and their dead parrot sketch - "Beautiful plumage...")

The Missus Herself informs me that the battery has refused to hold a charge for more than a couple of hours over the past couple of days and...

"So, did you think to inform me of this? Did you perhaps think that the cell phone, if allowed to get plenty of bed rest, would get better? Did you think..."

Okay, perhaps I am a bit suicidal, definitely lacking in common sense, and perhaps just a bit deranged. But I digress.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that all of her photos on the phone are now, more than likely, unrecoverable. No power, no memory access and ... (WARNING, language alert) -

Sunday we were off to the AT&T store. There the sehr hübsche Vicki helped my wife get into a new phone.

"Which one should I get honey?"

Looking at the selection, I was sore tempted to say "This flip phone looks nice." but I am perhaps not suicidal at all.

"Did you like your Android?"

"Yes, I did."

Pointing to the latest model I suggested she get that one. Pricey? Yes. Wife happy? Well...

"So can you transfer my pictures and contacts from my old phone to my new one."

Tossing a look at me, as if to suggest "you bastard, you didn't tell her, did you," the lovely Miss Vicki told my wife that her old phone was gone, passed away, ne'er to activate no more, etc., etc. In short, photos, all gone. Contacts, all gone. Videos, all gone.

My comment that we would give her old phone a nice Viking funeral out on the Bay was met with stone silence from both females present. I sensed that young Vicki was now allied with The Missus Herself and that I should just strike my colors and throw myself upon the mercy of the court. (Hey, I can mix metaphors if I want. It's my blog innit?)

So, add the 800 bucks spread over the next cuppla years to the 1150 spent earlier in the weekend, and we're close to two grand in expenditures over the weekend. Fifty dollars shy of two grand for those keeping track.

So yeah, I dropped 30 bucks on a computer game as well. Hey, in for a penny, in for a pound.

Expensive weekend indeed.

But I had fun. How 'bout you?

* Some yahoo had crashed into a light pole, killing power to a big chunk of the area. Fortunately not Best Buy. Their power was restored an hour before we got there.


  1. Had a few weekends like that. If spouse had an Android smart phone, there is the chance that her pictures etc. were backed up by the Google app that comes with the phone? $100 for an oil change? Y'all need to move down here to the Old Dominion: $39.95 is the going price at a dealer, and Jiffy Lube is even cheaper!

    1. Her Android was an older one, before they started doing that automagical Google save stuff.

      Her brother-in-law (who's in the cell phone field) may have a plan to save it. After all, the stuff is "in there," there's just no power to pull it out.

      Everything is pricey up here in Yankee-land.

      We shall see

  2. I hate oil changes!
    They're never what you expect.

    1. Yes. I rue the day that Jiffy Lube got computers.

  3. You must have had a good time because this is a very funny and lighthearted post. Great way to start my day!

    There should be a code to shut that maintenance light off. Oil last a lot longer than most people think. Then when the engine becomes an ex-engine, swing by bestcar buy...

    Damme google backs up my images even when that feature is turned off in settings. Then it sends me messages that I can buy more storage for only twice the cost of a new phone. "Don't be evil," they said. Yeah, just greedy.

    1. Oh I did have a good time last weekend. 'Tis my wallet which did not.

      Yeah, "Teh Google" is always bugging me as well.

  4. OAFS, thanks for starting my day off with a laugh. Believe me. I'm laughing with you, not at you. Well, you know what " they " say about money: easy come, easy go. I say that not having been gainfully employed for years. As the man said: Cheer up, things could be worse. I'm sure you know how the rest of that saying goes.

    Paul L. Quandt

    1. Money has a purpose. It served me well last weekend.

      It only would have sucked had the cost exceeded my ability to pay.

      Not that I want to do that every weekend!

  5. They say "Money talks". Mostly mine just says "Goodbye".

  6. Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first drive broke..wait...wut?....well you get the drift.

  7. Not to change the subject or anything, but when are we going to hear from LUSH? Inquiring mind want to know.


    1. Her husband (Big Time) just returned from seven months at sea.

      So it might be a while...


    2. Yeah, after the next grandkid.

    3. Sigh.

      That is no longer possible.

  8. "Inquiring mind want to know."

    That should either be 'an' inquiring... or inquiring minds. My proofreader should have caught that. The lazy shlub was off doing who knows what.


    1. Damn proofreaders. Mine is always sleeping on the job.

  9. Before my divorce, the IRS accepted my return with Nordstrom listed as a dependent. Nowadays I do most of my maintenance. While not an ace mechanic, you can't beat my hourly rate.

    1. Nordstrom? I too have contributed greatly to that company's bottom line.

      I'd do my own maintenance but I'd rather it was done correctly. Besides which, I'm supporting the economy. Along with Nordstrom.

  10. Replies
    1. Sniper Elite 4, Italia

      Most excellent!

    2. I've discovered a new way. To spell expensive. That would be Alaska! Good gravy! More to follow.

      Sent via smoke signal

    3. Heh, if you get the DLC you get to X-ray kill-cam shoot Hitler in the ball. So the developers definitely have their opinion on that particular historical conundrum. Which isn't particularly family-friendly, but it's after sunset?

  11. The Thursday before last, I plugged a small squirrelcage fan, that I have been using for over a year, into my 16" Dell Inspiron. A box saying AN UNRECOGNIZED USB DEVICE HAS BEEN PLUGGED IN, the screen went blank, and the laptop started sounding ear splitting beeps in groups of seven, which the volume control would not reduce. It seems that the seven beep is Dell's diagnostic signal for burnt out motherboard.

    It will cost almost $300.00 to get a new motherboard installed, but I have over 1000 books stored in that thing, and almost that many photos, so just junking and replacing is not an option. So, unless I am at work, I am having to make do with a 5" Kindle, and since the computers at work will not go to Facebook, I am gonna be limited to Birthday Badger posts, as typing on the Kindles wee tiny keyboard is not something i relish.

    1. The Russians obviously had a Trojan Horse virus on that fan

    2. Oh dear. At least the memory survived

      When my last computer gave up the ghost, I was able to get everything off of the hard drive as I could remove it, plug it into an external drive mount and get what I needed off of it.

      Dang cell phones don't have that capability any more!

    3. Cap'n, we have a smoking gun. Er, motherboard, or something...

  12. Got off the motorcycle on Monday and looked at the rear tire, kinda smooth. $250.
    So, in comparison I got of cheap.
    Now, I could get a much less expensive tire. But....

    1. I had no idea mo'cycle tires were so expensive.

      Not an expert, but I'd venture a guess that smooth ain't so good.


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