Sonny! I KNOW what that is!

At the time you are reading this, I will be traveling "North to Alaska".

Yep! It hit 100^o this past week (in Texas) with a "feels like" of 107.  I'm outta here!  Fly into Anchorage, Train up to Denali, Train back down to Seward, board the Celebrity Millenium and sail on down to Vancouver.

Source

So,  given that Sarge won't grant me dispensation from posting on Christmas Day.

Good likeness of Sarge there on the left, Me?  I haven't had that much hair since High School..
(C'mon, you KNEW that was going to come back and bite you when you posted it, right?)

I knew better than to ask off for something as inconsequential as a vacation.

So, I was doing a bit of research on the Tube of You for something to post about and found something that reminded me of a story.

Wait for it........

So.....There I was*

I'm an IP at Holloman flying the mighty AT-38 instructing newbie Fighter Pilot wannabes in the basics of flying a fighter.  It's a good assignment and I'm pretty sure I learned more about employing a fighter than I taught.  There were some excellent Fighter Pilots instructing there.

But, I digress.

Flying time was plentiful in the waning days of Reagan's first term.  10 sorties a week was pretty much normal, 15 wasn't unusual.  Cross Countries were available for the asking.  We also were tasked to deploy to other bases and provide adversary air for aircraft on those bases.  Those were always fun.

We also deployed for static displays at various Air Shows around the country.  It was this duty I was performing when this story occurred.

I had flown single ship, single pilot down to Tyndall AFB, Panama City, Florida for an Open House the Wing there was hosting. Normally, this would have been two aircraft and two pilots as we were tasked by TAC headquarters to provide an airplane for the show, and since "two is one, and one is none" applies to all forms of weapons, two aircraft were scheduled.  

Since we were flying so much on our training schedule, only two pilots could be spared.

Unfortunately,  the other jet developed a problem and had to abort.  

So,  I'm free!  Flying a jet, by myself, with nobody around me to watch.

Yes, there might have been a bit of inverted flight as I initiated a descent.

Anyhoo....

I arrive at Tyndall the afternoon before the Open House and get briefed on what I needed to do during the festivities.  Basically, I was to stand by my jet and answer any questions any spectator might have.

For about 8 hours.  Which made me wish the other guy hadn't aborted.

So, I'm standing there in the hot Florida sun, on the concrete, answering questions.

"How fast will it go?"

" About 1.2 times the speed of sound."

  "How fast is that?"

" About 800MPH.'

  "HOOOIE, that's fast!"  

'Yes, yes it is.'

Rinse, repeat, over and over and over and over......

When all of a sudden an older lady walks up,  Very Southern, Very Old, Very Old Southern Lady.

"Sonny, What kind of flyin' machine is this?"

"Ma'am, this is an AT-38"

"What does it do?"

"I train new Fighter Pilots with it"

"Sonny, don't you be funnin' me!"

"Ma'am?"

"This here's a new clear bomber!"

Pause to translate.

"Ma'am?"

"This here's a new clear bomber!"

"No Ma'am, it does have the capability to carry practice bombs, but not nuclear weapons."

"Sonny, I know what that is!"

She points under the belly of the aircraft.

"That's a new clear bomb!"

No, that's not a new clear bomb underneath.

I had no wish to be rude, so I stifled the retort and laugh that was on the verge of busting out of my mouth.

"Ma'am, that's not a nuclear weapon, that's a baggage pod."

"Sonny, don't lie to me, I know what it is!"

This goes on for a few more rounds.

Finally, I say "Ma'am, that's where I put my dirty clothes for the trip home!"

"Oh! .... Well, that makes sense! "  and walks off.

I turn around still trying to stifle a laugh and come face to face with the Tyndall Air Division Commander, then Brigadier General, Charles A. Horner.  I quickly come to attention and salute, He returns it and glances over my shoulder to determine the lady is out of hearing range and lets out a loud guffaw.

"Capt. juvat, it's good to see you again! You handled that situation very diplomatically."  

Several years before,I had flown one sortie on his wing as an F-4 student pilot when he was the Wing King at Luke.  I don't remember anything out of the ordinary happening on that sortie that would have caused him to remember me, but he did.

He went on, of course, to be the Air Component Commander for Desert Storm, then commanded NORAD as a 4-star before retiring.

That was back in the day when the Air Force had leadership!

I have a posting ready to scramble if needed that features General Horner.  My intention however is to post from the Cruise Ship to see if free unlimited wireless is indeed unlimited.  You'll see if it is this time next Monday.