Saturday, September 16, 2017

Exciting Day...

Friday, up at the crack of dawn, well, actually it was more like 8 AM.

Went back to sleep.

I have a confession to make, I like to sleep late. I've never been a morning person, bit of a night owl actually. A habit I picked up from many night shifts in the Air Force and not a few at my current civilian gig. Truth be told, I haven't worked a night shift now in quite a few years, probably a decade. Still and all, I enjoy the night.

Okay, maybe not that much, but it's calm and peaceful when the darkness cloaks the land.

So, where was I, oh yes, 8 AM, back to sleep, woke up at 10:45. Yes, 10:45, which is a bit too late for me. But in my defense it's been a long sleepless week, Tuesday night I was up until past midnight picking up The Missus Herself upon her triumphant return from California. Then up at 6 AM for a fun-filled (not) day at work.

So on weekends I catch up on my sleep. Yesterday, you might surmise, was my Friday off. I get those every other week. While the nine hour days can be tiresome, the three day weekends make up for it.

So arose late, coffee and a bagel, shave and a shower, then off to get a haircut.

It surprised me that I shaved on Friday, normally I don't, but Friday was hot and humid and needing a shave on a hot and humid day is not something I care for. So today (as you're reading this) I won't shave. Maybe.

So the haircut was needed, I was looking a bit shaggy. Okay, a lot shaggy. I get my hair cut roughly every three months. (Okay, I don't get it cut roughly, like with garden shears, but roughly as in approximately. Sure I could have reworded that sentence rather than explain it, but hey, it's my blog, innit?) Back in my Air Force days it was more like once every three weeks. So it's a bit of a luxury to go three months.

After the haircut it was off to purchase cat food. My local grocery emporium used to stock their brand, then they decided not to anymore. Comrade Misfit suggested using Amazon to bring their food right to my door. Hhmm, I liked the idea, then I saw the price.

The vendors on Amazon want three times the amount for what I pay locally. Even if it does mean driving ten miles to Walmart. Which is an adventure all to itself.

Those videos you see on YouTube, the people of Walmart? Well, they're not entirely accurate, but damned close. I swear I'm invisible in that place, I had at least three people try to run me over with their shopping carts.


And speaking of shopping carts, that opening photo, I see that all the time. Read the comments at the link under the photo. Expressed my thoughts on that topic pretty well I thought.

That and people parking in the fire lane as "I'm just going in to grab one thing!"

Best one I've seen yet is the end of the parking aisle, there's space there but it's marked off as obvious "NO PARKING." Yet, there's always some idiot parked there.

One time I went to the store and this guy comes roaring into the parking lot and zoom, right into the NO PARKING zone. Steps out of his car and lo and behold, it's a big shot from where I work. Was I pissed? Yes. Was I surprised? No. Remember, I live in a state with a butt ton of progressives and they're all special and they're all entitled.


Yes, a very exciting day. Spent the evening watching episodes of The Sopranos. Yes, I've seen it before but it's time to watch it again.

Exciting day...

I have them from time to time. No, Friday wasn't really exciting. I was being ironic. Or something...


  1. One of the many criteria by which I judge the character of a neighborhood is the number of shopping carts scattered about the parking lots.

  2. I always walk my cart into the cart collection area. One shopping center I know demands a quarter to get a cart, and you can not get your quarter back without proper return...funny how people will return every cart when there is a quarter involved.

    1. I return my cart, regardless of weather. It's the right thing to do.

  3. It's rare for me to not shave, mainly because the wife won't touch me if I don't! That shopping cart picture...I feel a rant coming on in 3...2...1

  4. Hey Sarge, can we add a sloping comment widget to the blog, like they have on the Shopping Cart Source? Really induces a nice feeling of vertigo.
    I tend to, if I pass a shopping cart drop off on the way in, grab a cart from there. Saves time. I've had the cart retrieval kids thank me for doing so. Win, win.
    As for the leaving a cart in a parking Mrs Juvat is wont to say "It's amazing their Mothers love them!"

    1. That line's a keeper!


    2. Wait, what? They had mothers? I detest going to our local Walmart. The atmosphere is just oppressive, and I feel like I just escaped some third world country afterwards, and like I need a shower . Will only go there if there is something the wife needs that only they seem to carry (like Hall's Defense SUGAR FREE). We were absolutely delighted when Winco opened a store with in sight of Walmart. Here in the DFW area, parking lots are almost as dangerous as the freeways.

    3. If you're only slowly going insane, you're waaaay ahead of me. I'm typing this at work as it's the only way to get the stuff done I know needs to get done versus the stuff the "perfumed princesses (some of whom are female)" believe needs to be done (for them). Damn, I LOVE this time of year!

    4. How did I NOT notice that sloping comment thing? Is it possible to archive stuff as if some half-trained airman at the medical clinic copied it like they did my medical records? Not that that happened to me...

      And you saw the comment I just deleted while I was deleting it? Wow, I guess I'm not slowly going insane, seems I'm already there.

      So far this weekend has been surreal...

    5. RHT447 - That whole "just escaped some third world country" is definitely a thing. I always feel that way after Walmart.

  5. There is no rule that you have conform to any norms regarding proper syntax on your own blog.
    Artistic license covers all sins.

    The only blemish on my 11 year old car is from a feral grocery cart that happened the first week.
    I seem to be invisible in supermarkets, big box stores, and airports.
    My biggest difficulty is refraining from exclaiming, "I guess you didn't see me!"
    There are other times when my monkey brain tells me I should show folks there are better ways to block the aisles, like placing their carts nose to nose instead of side by side.
    Shaving is overrated.

    1. Yes, the rampaging shopping cart. I've seen them blow across a parking lot like some sort of slow motion torpedo.

  6. I have begun my old age as a superhero of sorts, and it even requires a costume. Floppy boonie hat, sunglasses, t-shirt, shorts and sandals. Dressed such, and I become 'A-hole, the Fire Lane Enforcer.'

    Seriously. Sometime in the last 6 months a magic meteor with a radioactive bug somehow flew up my arse and flipped the switch. Every time I am released from my abode by Mrs. Andrew to go out an interact with people, I find... fire trucks. Fire trucks parked everywhere. How do I know they are fire trucks, you may ask? Because, they are parked in the fire lane. I blame it on budget cuts in my commie city, but...

    So, eventually, dressed as A-Hole the FLE, I have begun to approach these vehicles, after ascertaining that, no, they are NOT fire trucks, and then ask, in my nicest voice, if the occupants are okay, and if they need some help. When given some non-compliant answer like "My sig-other is in the store" or "I'm just going to the ATM" or some other bull-scat answer, I then ask them if they knew they were parked... in a fire lane.

    If they answer no, then I explain to them that they are parked in a fire lane, and then explain what a fire lane is supposed to be used for. No, not the blood drive bus. No, not even the cop car. It is for fire trucks.

    If they answer yes, then I just explain to them about proper uses of the fire lane.

    Much yelling and screaming by them usually ensues, at which time they call me by the first part of my secret identity.

    This usually results in my powers being revealed as I shout at them, "Are you a Fire Truck? Is the building on Fire and they need your Fire Truck and all the Firemen that are with you to put out the FIRE? Are you? Do you self-identify as a Fire Truck? No, then move the (tr)uck out of the (tr)ucking Fire Lane and try using the PARKING LOT that is conveniently located 10 feet away, and, oh, look, has some PARKING SLOTS left open for idiots just like you." Or a rant something like this.

    Funny, it is always healthy, young (less than 40yoa) people, across the spectrum of gender and race, that are the causes of this.

    If the vehicle is empty, and no-one seems to be near it, I just walk around and around it while talking loudly about how either the Fire Department has new vehicles or some idiot can't read the simple words "No Parking, Fire Lane" but can probably understand how to use an ATM in 5 different countries...

    I, I actually have had people cheer me.

    I then drive home in a random pattern and make sure no-one is following me.

    I may be crazy. I am not totally stupid.

    And don't get me started on the idiots that can barely push the cart towards the cart stand...

    1. Hahaha!

      I am laughing so hard I nearly wet myself. Superb rant!

    2. Andrew: My favorite is when some turkey parks in front of a fire hydrant and a fire breaks out nearby. The FD breaks out the windows and runs the hose through the car to hook it up. At which point, the driver is out the cost of the windows, a citation and he has to wait until the fire is fully extinguished before he can go anywhere.

    3. I wonder if the hose "leaks" in the section between the windows?

    4. Fire hoses are notorious for leaking. The cars that have a hose run through them will fill with water rather quickly.

      I firmly suspect that the Firemen have a special 'hose' for just these applications.

      As to cars parked in fire lanes, I have seen firefighters accidentally drop sections of buildings on improperly parked cars. Not purposely, of course...

    5. Pour encourager les autres perhaps?

  7. Find myself agreeing with all. Walmart! Gag! In my area, they have dropped the 'greeters'. Seems some never got the memo. Recently I wrestled a cart from the stack. Some woman then grabbed it. Happened two times more. Finally grabbed one while backing up and was able to escape into the store with it.

    1. Ah yes, the greeters. They are, I fear, no more. So much for Plan B as my retirement.

  8. And speaking of parking lots and shopping carts, it seems that many of the stores in my area have lots with a fair amount of slope to them. I always have to keep an eye out for the cart dispersal when arriving, especially on windy days, lest an errant cart come rolling down on my chosen spot. At this point I'll have to add a special thanks to the local planning boards which seem bent on requiring that the store owners turn their lots into mazes with all sorts of islands and landscaping while making it a challenge to enter or leave.

    1. The beauty of the landscaping is that it typically makes seeing another car coming nearly impossible.

      Wonderful things those parking lots.

  9. Wasn't it thoughtful of Costco to build all those grassy, convenient parking spaces for their shopping carts!

  10. Just lost the insightful and humorous comments I made. Where did I go?

    1. Sometimes Blogger has a "mind" of its own and will eat comments before they see the light of day.

      It has even eaten my comments from time to time.

  11. It's posts like this that remind me how much I miss Buck.

  12. For reasons I do not know fire trucks come from Wisconsin. Seagrave; Pierce; Pirsch; Snorkel; Darly, and OSHKOSH are all Wisconsin companies, and American LaFrance's last home before goin out of business was in Shawano, WI. Have you noticed the size of the bumpers that Badgers put on fire trucks? They don't like fire lane parkers either!

    1. Those bumpers will do a number on shopping carts as well!


Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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