Cooperation not competition

Recently I was having a checkup with my GP.  Nice guy, pretty young, but has a basketball team for kids.  Yep, 5 Boys.  While I was working, I kinda kept an eye out for them to say hi to them in the halls, advise him on which teachers to request and which, if assigned to his kids, to dis-enroll them from school and send them to a private school.  Heck, he's a Doctor, he can afford it, right?  Well...Maybe not with 5 boys.

Anyhow, we're chatting a bit in between poking and prodding and all the other pleasantries we, older folks, enjoy with our friends in the medicinal community.  He happened to mention that his oldest had just signed up for Driver's Ed.

I don't know where this thought erupted from, but before it went through the cranial "speak or not" filter, I heard myself say.

"Please teach him the proper sequence for turning an automobile."

Puzzlement on his face.

"1. Take your foot off the gas."

"2.  Turn on your turn signal."

"3.  Gently apply the breaks."

"4.  Turn the car."

"Not... Stomp on the brakes, turn the car, then...if you feel like it, turn on the turn signal."

He chuckled and agreed that, indeed, that was the proper, if rarely performed sequence.  More importantly, agreed to emphasize that with his son.

Mission accomplished and shortly later after a coughing episode, I left the building.

Then I entered that state that Mrs J always worries about (because of the danger).

I started thinking.

Wouldn't life be better if folks drove like getting somewhere was a cooperative endeavor rather than a competition?

I mean, I don't get any brownie points (BPs) for getting to my destination 15 seconds earlier.  I certainly don't get any BPs if I cause you to arrive at your destination 5 minutes later.

So...Since I live in the state named for being friendly, and we're getting so many new friends, I thought I'd rant spend a moment talking about how my new friends might want to modify their former driving habits to accommodate the wide open roads of their new state.

We recognize that you've probably moved here from a state with extremely large cities names after Saint Francis, Saint James, Saint Joseph or The Angels, and that traffic is horrible there.  We also realize that because of that, you haven't had much practice driving at much above 30 (OK 20) MPH.  While, our large cities also have traffic issues, our rural roads didn't use to have any problems.

However, recently, there seems to be an uptick in people who wish to drive significantly below the speed limit on rural highways.  This can cause traffic to back up.  We certainly don't want you to drive faster than you feel comfortable, however there are a couple of things you can do to cooperate with other drivers in your immediate vicinity (vs. compete with them).

1. Passing Lane. Many of our rural highways are two lane, and passing lanes are few, far between, and short. When you get to one of those passing lanes, either slow down further, or at a minimum, maintain your speed and let cars pass (cooperation see?).  Do not use that opportunity to see how fast your car can accelerate to 100MPH (competition see?).  If you do accelerate, do not under any circumstance when exiting the passing zone, decelerate back down to your previous snail's pace speed.  Doing so might cause comments as to your mother's species, the marital status of your parents when you were born and/or your feelings for your maternal parent.

2. Shoulders. There is another thing you can do if a passing lane doesn't seem readily available.  Most Texas rural roads have a very wide shoulder.  If that is the case, when you can see a safe distance ahead, pull onto the shoulder and allow the other cars to pass.  When you do this, you are driving friendly (e.g. cooperatively).  Should someone ahead of you pull over for you, now is the time to use that accelerator and pass them expeditiously.  Once you are safely ahead of them, return to your normal speed and either give them a friendly wave or click on your flashers for a couple of blinks to say "Thanks, Friend!".
That shoulder can also be, legally, used as an acceleration or deceleration lane.  So, if turning off the road, pull on to the shoulder whist simultaneously using the aforementioned 4 step sequence for performing a turn and allow people behind you to proceed uninterrupted (cooperative) instead of the stomp, turn, signal (competitive) method, which results, at best, in some tread wear as well as commentary about your parents.
Similarly, if turning onto the road, use the shoulder to get to the speed of traffic then pull into the traffic lane (cooperative) vs pulling directly into traffic so as to cause all the cars coming up behind you to apply brakes at such a rate as to, at best, cause tread wear and avoid hitting you.  This does not gain you any BPs and again, commentary about your parents will ensue.

3. Speed Limit reduction.  So...for whatever reason, you've been driving at 53 MPH in a 70MPH zone and there are now 15 cars stacked up behind you.  You are about to enter a town and the speed limit has just dropped from 70 to 55.  My Friend, let me be the first to tell you.  Driving 53 in a 70 does not excuse driving 60 in a 55.  Many small town law enforcement agencies frown on that activity and will position one of their fine greeters near the city limits to stop you and thank you for contributing to their town's coffers. However, I am sure that you can talk them out of that opportunity, as long as you start by stating "When I lived in..." and mention that state with all the Spanish names for Saints.  That carries an almost unbelievable amount of weight around here.

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On a side note, please also make sure that you keep your license plate from that state on your vehicle.  Bonus points if the little sticker in the corner says 2017 or older.  It makes those of us who actually pay taxes feel all privileged that we can be paying your share in addition to ours.

4.  Passing.  Our 4 lane (+) highways have signs on them that say "Left Lane for passing only."  This means that if you're in the left lane one of three things should be happening.  You're beginning to pass someone.  You're passing someone.  Or, you're getting a safe distance from the person you just passed before returning to the right lane.  The one exception occurs at night on a rural road in Deer Season.  That extra second could mean saving a $500 deductible.  However, even then, if someone is coming up behind, pull back into the right lane, let them pass and then move back.

5. Passing part II. Did you know that virtually all cars now have this magic device, somewhere on the steering wheel, that will keep a constant speed?  This is a wonderful thing for helping to minimize traffic flow problems caused by fluctuating speeds.  On rural highways, click the button, magically your car will maintain a consistent speed, which in clear, dry, daylight conditions should be very close to the posted speed limit.  However, there seems to be a hesitation to use said device.  This hesitation is usually indicated by the following characteristics.  Car goes racing past you in the left lane, you glance at the driver, his head is down looking at something.  Shortly thereafter, you catch up to him, still in the left lane, but well under the speed limit and nothing in front of him.  You pass him.  Shortly thereafter, he's racing past you again.  That magic button will stop that from happening.  Use it.  Oh...Put your phone in your pocket!  Bluetooth if you must talk.

6.  Passing Part III. If you do use that magic button,  when  passing, press on the gas a bit.  The car will accelerate a bit and you will be past the car on your right in a minimum time.  At that point, ease off the gas and let the magic return.  This is especially important when passing an 18 wheeler.  Trust me, going 4 wheeling down the median at 70MPH, because the truck driver decided to change lanes without looking is not fun.  BTDT....twice.

7. Illumination. Did you know that the primary function of headlights is not to see, but to be seen?  According to this article

"At first there was no lighting on a vehicle and no nighttime driving.Although the electric light bulb was invented by Thomas Edison in 1879, the first lighting on automobiles was not electric headlamps. When people started driving at night, the first vehiclelighting devices were oil (kerosene) burning lanterns. Photographs of several early European vehicles and their kerosene lamps are shown by Drach (1993). These lighting devices provided a signal to drivers of other vehicles and carriages, and also to pedestrians."

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So, two things.  Turn ON your headlights especially if visibility is poor (e.g. Fog, Rain) or it's dawn or dusk.  It doesn't matter if you can see without them.  I darn near got smacked recently by a White Prius (like pictured above) driving in fog without his lights on.  I was turning left onto the highway, he was coming from the right and completely invisible in the fog. Fortunately, I spotted him before crossing the center line.  Yes, my fault, but it's still possible to be both right....and Dead!

Second thing,  If headlights are primarily for seeing, how come driverless cars have them?

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All righty then...Got that off my chest and feel significantly better for it.  And it's now on the internet, so rather than have to rattle off to my wife why I  think the parents of the person ahead of me were unmarried, I can now just say "Honey, #6".

To which she'll reply, sighing.

"Yes Dear!"

Ain't life grand?