Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Damn It Muse!

There are a number of different types of post that I tend to produce here at The Chant:
  1. Historical
  2. Philosophical
  3. Humorous
  4. Personal
  5. Rant
  6. Fictional
  7. Rerun (One of the above but repeated with a few introductory comments.)
I would like to think that all of those types are entertaining. Well, they are, to a certain extent. I get lots of views on rants, seems that a lot of readers like rants. I do like a good rant myself on other people's blogs, but ya can't rant everyday. It gets old after a while.

But what does one do when the well runs dry? There are days when The Muse and I sit around and throw topics out for discussion. Often they run like this:

Muse: Hey, what about a post on the Battle of the Wabash?

Moi: Hhmm, not a bad idea, let me look... Nope, we already posted about that.

Muse: I know, we could rant about politicians!

Moi:  Sorry, I just ate, don't have the stomach for that right now.

Muse: Idiots in the work place?

Moi: Not enough of 'em where I work. Also some people at work might actually read the post, unlikely I know, but still...

Muse: Idiot drivers?

Moi: Low hanging fruit, besides The Missus Herself says I've been far too negative lately. I mean, one of the guys at work made the comment "Why would kids want to trick-or-treat at some crotchety old man's house?" Had a chuckle there until I realized they were talking about me.

Muse: Some famous battle?

Moi: Those take a lot of time and research, I have trouble pulling one of those off on a "school" night.

Muse: Yeah, yeah, that's true. Rerun?

Moi: I'm trying to save those for Sundays.

Muse: Sports?

Moi: Well, that does give juvat the opportunity to trot out his "overpaid thugs" comment, always a good one. But I'm not that into sports right now.

Muse: I'm gonna go have a beer.

Moi: But you got drunk yesterday, that's why we're in this predicament.

Muse: That's right, blame The Muse.

Moi: If the shoe fits...

Muse: Your wife is right, you can be an a-hole at times.

Moi: Jerk.

Muse: Loser.

And yeah, the well has run dry for the moment...


  1. Wow, your muse seems to think it exists "in spite" of you. Better take that one out to the woodshed.....

    Mom told me of a time once when her dad told her to bring a switch in for a spanking. She drug in a 2x4 with rusty nails in it, and grandpa laughed so hard he didn't even spank her....

    Once, when I was about 4 or 5, I thought I'd outrun mom when she was hunting me down for spanking. I hit the front screen door and was just starting to light the after burners in a sweeping left turn, when my feet slipped on the grass..... I didn't fall at all..... Mom had me by the collar... She outran me?!?!?!? Found out several years later, that she was a demon on 6 man basketball. No one better on defense. I don't remember the spanking.... Selective memory and all... Probably beat the memory right out of me..... But I never tried to outrun her again. That was positively demoralizing.

    1. Sounds like she had the correct amount of lead when she nailed you. Never get in a turning fight!

    2. You nailed it. I keep my energy high and run for the bushes. If I can get in cover, I can get gone.... I was pretty fast back in the day.... Or used to be....

      Tried showing my granddaughter how to run light, not stomping with speed, and I pulled the left calf almost in half. "Old man problems" the doc said. Somewhere between 10 and 90% torn. Calf is flat now, not round. Took months to heal. I had a charlie horse that night. I'm here to tell you that a cramp in a torn muscle is..... intersting. I sprung out of bed, grabbed the corner post and held on. Trying to stretch the foot up hurt the tear so I just had to keep it together until the cramp subsided.... "Grab a root and growl"....

      After that, I felt like a hawser that they left on the dock bollard when the tug started pulling. I was worn out and down for a whole day after that episode of fifth column muscle madness.... Old man problems indeed.

  2. We were doing some fixing at my in-law's house (next door) yesterday and a rather large buck with a good set of antlers visited their backyard.
    My wife felt it was at least a six pointer. But by the time I put down my safety glasses and found my regular glasses it was out of sight, and our phones were at home.
    It did look awesome. (we count all the points here)
    This isn't the woods of Pennsylvania, this is inside the city of Philadelphia, and just shy of the line between city and suburbs.
    I am fairly certain the buck was thinking, "Hah-hah, you can't shoot me!"
    Don't eat the yard raisinets.

    Perhaps this group will inspire your writing.

    1. Most interesting.

      And yeah, yard raisinets are bad for you.

  3. Never had to find/bring a switch to Mom, she managed just fine to locate a loooong one that could really snap! Tell your muse to take a vacation in this neck of the woods, 22F now out the door and warming to 34 today, snow forecast overnight but only an inch. Looking for a recharge try lithium batteries, they hold a charge longer than coppertops....... :)

    1. Serve her right to have to live out in the cold for a day or two.

    2. CATS! You forgot about cats, Sarge.
      I always fall back on the kitties...no thought or words are needed, and everyone loves 'em.

    3. True, true. I have done the occasional cat post. Always fun.

  4. Dang, you two are quite a team. Might have to make an offer when free-agency season opens up.

    Pretty clearly a weak attempt to motivate mine to keep his job. He's laughing his @$$ off I'm sure.

    1. Now she's gonna read that, tell her agent and now I gotta pay her more.

      Muses are indeed fickle.

  5. Soooooo....you went with humor.

    Good call!

  6. Heh, I always have faith in you, a great word monger like you always comes up with something even when your muse
    refuses to cooperate. Maybe Juvat needs to publish an extra day each week. ;-D

    1. Oh.....THANKS Russ! :-) I generally have a hard enough time with one per week. I don't have any idea how Sarge does it.

    2. Thanks Russ, though I doubt juvat still loves you... 😉

    3. Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it!

    4. Just had to throw that out there Juvat! :-) Excellence gets noticed!!

    5. Don't encourage him...🙄


  7. The Muse has made an appearance around my place at inopportune times.
    By the time I could sit at the PC, the magic was gone.
    ~ Skip

  8. Controlling your muse is akin to controlling a woman.

  9. Once again your "Got Nuthin'" says more than most people's somethin'.

    Building up to a rant. Might be a good one. We'll see.

  10. My muse cracked open the door of the cubby it lives in, said one sentence of what sounded like the opening for a great story, then closed the door - and hasn't been heard from since. Maybe it moved overseas?

    1. I've heard that there is a "Muse Asylum" somewhere in the mountains of Northern Greece.

  11. My muse seems to enter the scene just when I'm calling it a day and telling Alexa "Good Night" (obedient gal, she is). All the good stuff I seem to think of is gone by sunrise, of course. I'm too tired by eleven (2300) to do much with the old body other than lay it down, hoping it'll work another seven hours or so.
    That being said, sometimes my muse is delivered by way of assignment. I used to edit different things and I even wrote a chapter in someone's book (aviation consultant and all that). So I guess if given a subject, I'm long-winded. Even if I don't know anything about it (!). Just like I do when you're talking about tanks.

    1. Hahaha!

      (What, you want a post on tanks? I can do that. 😁)

  12. Very familiar with the Muse going AWOL. Sometimes I wonder what my blog is for......seems like since we moved here it's turning into The Hobby Channel/Home Improvement Channel/Weather Channel at times.

    Can hardly wait for Spring, and then I can go into "Farm Show/County Fair" mode!

    1. I do expect the news and weather from you, sort of. I mean we used to live there and enjoyed it immensely.

      County fair? Can't wait! 😉

    2. I know what you mean. This is absolutely the "nicest" area I've ever lived in, and my wife enjoys it, too.

      We go to the Larimer County Fair, and the Greeley Old Time Farm Show. Our grandson is fascinated by what he sees, and the sight of a green-and-yellow tractor really sends him into orbit!

      I've got a "Two Year CALEXIT AAR" post I've been working on for a while now. Guess maybe your Muse and my Muse are AWOL in some bar, some where, doing some thing.....

    3. Well, there are rumors that a couple of AWOL Muses were spotted at some cheap dive bar in Nebraska...

  13. I think your Muse is trying to tell you something. What would that be? Maybe that she doesn't want to visit you that often, and that you don't HAVE to post daily. Then again, her absence always seems to leave you with a kernel of creativity to put up at least a post like today's!

    1. Gotta do it everyday, I'm obsessed. 😉

    2. What? You get a female muse? I have an old anal orifice who yells at me.

    3. Yes, beats having an old gunnery sergeant bellowing at ya!


Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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