Tuesday, October 15, 2024

As Time Goes By ...

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We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there. - Pascal Mercier, Night Train to Lisbon (I used this quote here as well.)

The last couple of weeks has been interesting in some ways, weird in others, and downright stressful at times. Let me start by reminding those who visit here often that The Missus Herself was out California way for two weeks. She was busy most of her stay there and that stay involved helping LUSH get rid of some stuff that needed getting rid of, we've all been there, done that. Stuff accumulates, am I right?

Anyhoo, last week, Tuesday afternoon, it was time for her to return to Little Rhody. About the time I figured she'd be at the airport, my phone rang. It was The Missus Herself. Unexpected, she usually texts me while traveling. She calls when "oh shit, oh dear" something is wrong.

Damn.

I answered, something was indeed wrong. As she was lifting her suitcase onto the scale she heard a "pop" from her lower back. The pain followed quickly. I asked her what she wanted to do, perhaps head back to LUSH's domicile for a couple of days to let things relax and/or to seek medical treatment. She said, no, I think I'll get some Tylenol and tough it out.

Minutes passed, I talked with LUSH in the interim, both of us felt that The Missus Herself should postpone her trip for a couple of days. For one thing, it was a red-eye, there were two stops along the way (Phoenix and Charlotte) and we were both worried about her schlepping about the terminals in the aforementioned cities with a bad back.

Well, my phone rang once more, it was The Missus Herself with one of those "good news, bad news" reports. Good news? The airline had agreed to move her around with a wheel chair. The bad news? Her flight out of Fresno was delayed by a bit more than an hour. Dropping her time in Phoenix from two hours to less than one.

No problem, says she, the gate in Phoenix is just two away from my connecting flight. I have time to spare.

LUSH and I, both being rather disgruntled by now, still begged her to reconsider. Nope, she indicated her determination to press on.

Sigh ...

She did arrive home safely, though in a bit of discomfort and outright pain, and is now in the care of a "health professional." Hopefully that situation resolves itself for the better soon.


Warning - Digression Ahead

I have flown in and out of Fresno many times. Getting in is no problem, no problem at all.

Getting out?

It is my experience that with one particular airline, the gate agents will show up ten minutes into the boarding time. That is, ten minutes late. It is also my experience that flights leaving Fresno, on one particular airline, never, I repeat, never leave on time.

End Digression, we now return you to the rest of the post ...


So The Missus Herself has returned, however, she is, as we used to say "back in the day," not mission capable, NMC we called it. (Back in the day.) As the plan had been for her to accompany me up to New Hampshire to celebrate my mother's impending 94th birthday (which was Monday) we had to change the plan. I would be going up by myself.

Argh.

Now as my Mom is now rather unable to stay by herself, and my kid brother having retired from his old job was available (and willing), my kid brother now lives with my mother. Which necessitated some rearranging of the furniture at Mom's house.

The guest bedroom is no more, for one thing, so I would need to make alternate sleeping arrangements. Or make it a day trip, 155 miles up, 155 miles back. All in one day. Doable but a right pain in the arse.

But as The Missus Herself would not be traveling, avec moi, I felt that I could just sleep on the couch in the living room. That way I could stay more than just a few hours.

Well, good news, bad news ...

The good news, no need to travel back to Little Rhody on the same day. Said day, mind you, in which it seemed that everyone, and I do mean everyone, had decided that Saturday would be a great time to go look at the lovely foliage in northern New England. (File this under "bad news," by the way.)

Mind you, Saturday was indeed a beautiful day, Sunny, mild, and with roads loaded with gawkers looking at foliage that I myself (a New England native) felt was sub-par, at best. Oh sure, there were a couple of trees here and there which were magnificent to someone who didn't know better. But really?

I have been traveling to my Mom's for her birthday for 25 years now. I had never seen traffic as bad as that which I experienced Saturday, a trip which normally takes three hours, took almost five.

To say that I was a bit hot under the collar for most of the journey was, shall we say, an understatement.

But I got over it.

The trip back Sunday was uneventful (even if my night on the couch had left my back really angry with me), it rained which kept the "leaf peepers" off the roads. Personally I prefer to see foliage on gray, overcast days. The colors (to me at any rate) seem to stand out more than when viewed in bright sunlight. Might just be me. (The Missus Herself stated, somewhat emphatically, that it is, "just me." Sigh ...)

It was a nice trip but I'm noticing more and more that my mother isn't quite "all there" any more. She forgets easily, even things which just happened, and her long term memory is pretty much gone. It's tough on her because she knows she can't remember things.

It's one thing to not remember and not know it, it's quite another to know that you're forgetting vital parts of your life. She can't remember whether or not I have kids, late on Saturday she asked me if I'd ever married. As she gets tired, more and more of her ability to remember things just slips away. Sunday morning she was better, but it's sad to see her decline.

Well, she is 94.

Time passes, it's not always kind in its passing.


I suppose I'll get back to the fiction, eventually. Might be on a different topic entirely, lately my brain has been very much in "SQUIRREL!" mode. I guess you might say I'm too interested in too many things. Kid brother also gave me a book on Germany in 1923, that's going to be a time sink, I can tell you that. A favorite period of mine. And (bonus) it's by a German author.

Much to do, much to read. In the meantime, remember, the ice cream is free.

Before I forget, many thanks to John Blackshoe for filling the entire weekend for me. I needed the break and the story of the Garthsnaid and the photo taken by Alexander Turner (and his story) was a good one. Thanks, JB!

Now, where was I?




36 comments:

  1. Fall does bring out the "leaf peepers" and going North to visit the parent's home meant using I35 which meant a 135 mile trip only took two hours, sometimes less when Dad experience medical events over the years. Prayers for your Mom and your family in the rotation Sarge.

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  2. " and I do mean everyone, had decided that Saturday would be a great time to go look at the lovely foliage in northern New England. "

    Here in California Wine Country (Sonoma and our lesser cousin Napa Counties) it's, "Look, Martha! A grape vine!"

    Sorry to hear about The Missus. As the owner of a bad back myself I know how debilitating it can be, and how you never know what will set it off. Stack a cord of wood? FINE! Pick up a toothpick from the floor? Bed rest for two days.

    Cherish your visits with your mom. Mine reposed in 1981 from cancer, and Dad in '07, just wore out at the ripe old age of 86.

    My days of what I call "power driving" are long past, except maybe in some sort of emergency. Even 10 years ago, Santa Rosa to Fresno (OK, Kingsburg) and back in one day, with a 5 hour live fire with muzzle loading artillery between thither and hither, was doable. Now I see that as insane. Two hour chunks, with about a half hour stretch to get feeling back in my right leg and butt, and even at that I walk like Grandpa McCoy.

    Re your most excellent historic fiction - While I would miss it if you never keyboarded another syllable of it, I find your journal entries, as above, fascinating. You have to do what is best for your sanity.

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    1. Ah, you get me, Joe.

      I've been too focused on the writing and not enough on the living, in both senses of that word.

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  3. Sarge, prayers up for The Missus and her back. The subject of back and back surgery came up this past week at my men's group; the general consensus was that while the whole thing was painful, traveling by plane was the worst. Hopefully the Local Health Care Professional can set things right.

    Regional airports are a mixed bag: Short lines, relatively good parking, service may or may not be on spot. I confess that the choice of regional airport versus hub/international airport was one factor in favor of New Home 2.0 - like The Missus, The Ravishing Mrs. TB wants easy access to Na Clann and family.

    Long drives are one of the reason I gave up throwing at as many games as I did (probably leading to my eventual "retirement"): The idea of getting up at 0dark30, driving for 3 or four hours, throwing all day, and then driving home the same day got old. Quickly. Add to that a single day recovery and back at the daily grind and it became a pretty easy choice.

    I am sorry to hear about your mother (prayers up about that as well). Having come through that three times now in the last 4 years, it has certainly modified my own perspective on life and what I should be doing with my remaining years (which are hopefully many of course, but you never know).

    1920's German fiction would be great - such a relatively unknown period (in the U.S., anyway) with so many different influences swirling around. That said, I find your "ordinary living" posts just as engaging - in a world full of 24/7/365 events and "something always happening all the time", it is a good reminder that most of tend to lead ordinary lives with ordinary struggles. I would posit that in some ways, posting about them help all of us feel less alone - at least for me, it is not like I discuss this sort of thing at work.

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    1. There are days where even thinking about the "real" world (that is, those things outside of my own sphere) that are so headache inducing that I just don't want to even write about them. History I can get into, other people's problems as it were. Sometimes just ruminating about my personal sphere helps me to sort things in my own mind.

      I sometimes forget that part of my reasoning for starting a blog was for my grandchildren. Not that they'd bother to read it, but if they wanted to ...

      Thanks for the prayers, always welcome.

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  4. I hope Tuesday turns out to be a good one for you!

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    1. So far, so good. Sun is shining and though I'm at work, I know that "this too shall pass."

      Only nine Mondays left to go.

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    2. At work and still have time to keep up with the blog? That's a good job...

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    3. It's not like I'm in prison. Though it feels more and more like that.

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  5. I actually enjoy your squirrel-mode posts. I'm sorry your mom forgets some of that important stuff, but I know you're glad to still have her with you nevertheless. 94. Wow That hopefully means you have a lot of fiction, or squirelly stuff ahead of you! My own mom should be 84 this month, but alas.

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  6. “Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few.”
    — Robert A. Heinlein

    Robert had other also pithy thoughts about how important time and FAMILY was.

    Priorities my friend, Priorities.

    You're doing GOOD.

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    1. It's amazing to me how many other people have found the works of Robert Heinlein.

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    2. Michael - Spot on. While a man needs to know his limitations, he also needs to know his priorities.

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    3. Rob - I feel pity for those who have not.

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  7. Brain fog. Perhaps the most irritating part of aging. Now 80, I will be talking and the name/place/time/event will suddenly be blank. Minutes later it pops back into my head. I wish there were answers to the issue. Accepting physical limitations is far less frustrating.

    Hope the friction writing resumes; I enjoy what you write.

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    1. Brain fog! That's what it's called! Brilliant!

      Happens to me with increasing frequency, most annoying. Information which used to be right there, now takes a second or two to recall.

      Sigh. (Oddly enough it doesn't happen when I'm trying to think of something in German.)

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    2. I have a notebook here, next to the computer to jot down things I might not remember....

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    3. This happens to me, as often as not, in conversations with people. Can't remember the name of some guy I've worked with for 25 tears, which actor portrayed someone in a movie, whose name I can't remember.

      As for the other, my computer is my notebook.

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    4. I can look up the name (or date or whatever) & jot in down, then look at it when I'm on the computer... I say I "can" write these things down, but what I meant is I DO write these things down as I think of them... just to help the memory when I say "what was I looking for?".
      We all find a way that works for us...

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    5. If it works, do it. But ... "Warum kann ich mir Dinge auf Deutsch so leicht merken?"

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    6. Why do I remember things so well in German?

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  8. Oh, Thank Heavens! I've been experiencing that for about a year now. Can't remember someone's name. What was I headed into town to get? Where is Store X? Where are we going now? All the above. Scared me pretty bad, Thought I was experiencing the opening moves of "you know what". Glad to hear there are others going through similar things although I am sure they as well as I wish it wasn't happening. But I do carry a pen and a pad of paper with me all the way until I get into bed. Then it's on the side table. ;-)
    juvat

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    1. I use the notes feature of my Android, sort of my second brain.

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  9. My kitchen door is festooned with post-it notes of events, where I can't miss them. Next day ones are duplicated on the bathroom mirror where I have to look around them to shave. And keep a journal of day-to-day events. Remember, getting older means that first you forget names, then you forget faces. Later, you forget to zip up, and then you forget to zip down.

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  10. I make lists. Without lists, I'd be lost....

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  11. As Chief Engineer, I (or my guys) sometimes made lists. The Captain was not happy and told us unceremoniously to take off the list! ;-)
    JB

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    1. I hope your sweetheart gets quick relief for her back issues. As for your Mom, savor the time your have with her. I'm so glad your brother has moved in and is keeping track of everything. Keeping you & your family in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏❤️🙏

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    2. Make sure you get pictures and videos of your Mom talking and telling stories!! I would give anything to hear my parents' voices again. 💔

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    3. Mary #1 - She's getting there.

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    4. Mary #2 - That version of my mother is already gone.

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