Tuesday, December 5, 2023

Grandpa Man - It's That Time of Year

Pago Pago, American Samoa
Uh no, I am not in that picture above, juvat's intimations notwithstanding.

No, I am  ensconced in Little Rhody, hard at work (hardly working), with The Missus Herself back on station to provide adult supervision. One of the first things she mentioned after I picked her up at the airport was, "Grandpa Man".


Yeah, Grandpa Man, a new superhero created by Your Humble Scribe during a conversation with Roberto, my three year old grandson.

The Nuke: "What do you want for Christmas?"

Roberto: "Spiderman."

The Nuke: "I thought you wanted Batman?"

Roberto: "No, I want Spiderman.'

After The Nuke gave an exasperated sigh, I chimed in ...

YHS: "How about Grandpa Man? Would you like Grandpa Man for Christmas?"

Roberto: "Who is Grandpa Man?" 

YHS: "Well, he's kinda like me but ..."

Roberto: "So he has no superpowers?"

I would have explained but the lad and I were distracted by The Nuke, rolling on the floor, laughing.

I kind of forgot about the whole thing, though I did think of it once or twice with a chuckle ("So he has no superpowers?"). Kids that age are brutally honest.

But imagine my surprise when The Missus Herself brought that up.

TMH: "So how are you going to pull off this Grandpa Man thing? Roberto reminded me to remind you. He now wants Grandpa Man for Christmas."

YHS: "Um, ah, well ... Really? He wants Grandpa Man for Christmas? The action hero with no superpowers?"

TMH: "Yup, the very same."

So now, not only do I have to grow a moustache for the lad (yes, he reminded Grandma of that as well), now I have to find Grandpa Man for Roberto.

Ah, the things I get myself into.

But yes, the Season's upon us ...

Bis Morgen.


  1. Wait......what's that's walking towards us?!? Stepping over the sidewalk cracks.....wheezing as he goes.....eyes watering from the chill......it's...it's.... Grandpa Man! Let's hear it for family Sarge...... :)

    1. Nylon,
      Let's not forget another of Grandpa Man's superpowers. The power to hold a grandchild in his arms while both of them take naps while sitting in an easy chair with the football game on the TV.

    2. Oh, and never underestimate his secret superpower. That would be the power of the Wallet. It can make things appear out of nowhere in an instant!

    3. Ah yes indeed, the power of the Wallet.

    4. And the secret power of knowing stuff that is lost in modern society.

      Oh, and the secret power of making people's eyes roll back into their heads when using the above secret power...

    5. That 2nd part is the gift that keeps on giving!

  2. If you really need a Grandpa man a little kid can pull out of a box on Christmas day I've heard good things about 3D printers... I you ask me there are worse things you can get a 3 yr old grandson!

    1. I have a couple ideas for Grandpa Man, one of which has already received Grandma approval!

  3. Gamemaster: "The Party finds itself beset by forty or so goblins."

    GrandpaMan: (Rolls dice). "Natural 20".

    (Gamemaster consults charts, then whistle): "Wow. Okay, that gives you the initiative and the ability to use one of your Master Level spells."

    GrandpaMan: "Using my +5 Staff of Walking, I unleash the spell 'Old Guy's Lament of Health Issues'....Kids, did I ever tell you of the time I had a colon blockage issue that was helped by prunes? See, there I was in a line at DMV..."

    Gamemaster: (Rolls dice) "The entire goblin party has collapsed on the floor, twitching".

    1. "See, there I was in a line at DMV..." :-)

    2. "One day while opening the card catalog to find a book..."

      "One day when I bought my first calculator..."

      "Back in my days, oranges were given at Christmas to good children..."

      "Back when I had to crawl into the engine of the F4 to hand turn it to start it up..."

      The possibilities are endless.

  4. I am reminded of the time one of my taiji instructor's great-grandchildren asked why I had TWO canes -- and didn't use them? Go on, you explain Nordic walking to a five year old!

  5. My head ran a different direction: A fiery temper with the speed of light, a cloud of flatus, and a hearty "Where's my prune juice?" It's Granpaman....

  6. Get an old-school GI Joe, have someone make cargo shorts, a loud Hawaiian t-shirt, paint white socks on the feet and give it white tennis shoes, make the hair grey, have someone with a 3D printer make things like magazines (reading type,) golf clubs, stacks of books, pill minders and other wonderful things...

    See if you can find a 'doll' of Clint Eastwood and do it up like in Gran Torino. "Get off my lawn!"

    1. I wonder if you could get someone to print a head (that will fit) with grandpa's face on it...

    2. That might be weird, but funny.

  7. No superpowers? How wrong could he be? You have the wisdom of Solomon, the fixitness of MacGyver, the eyesight of a mole, and all the computer savvy-ness that blogger requires!


Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

NOTE: Comments on posts over 5 days old go into moderation, automatically.