Wednesday, December 27, 2017

How the Mighty Have Fallen


See the brace? I don't ordinarily wear one of those, it's a new addition to my wardrobe.

The Nuke and I were out walking the dogs, hadn't gone that far when Bear, who was on my wing, decided to stop and sniff something interesting. So I turned to see what she was doing,

Bear in mind (no pun intended, well, maybe a little) it was dark out. As I turned to starboard, my foot managed to find the edge of a sunken hatchway in the sidewalk. I'd call it a grate, but it was solid, more like a hatch.

Thing is, the hatch was recessed about a half inch into the concrete. My foot found the precise spot where my ankle decided, "Fire truck this, I'm rolling this old man."

I heard (and felt) a "pop" as my ankle decided to "give way all." Down I went onto the sidewalk, with all the grace of a dropped sack of potatoes. But back in the day I learned how to fall, sort of, it wasn't pretty but nothing important was bounce checked. No concussion protocol necessary.

But oh Madre de Dios did it hurt like a sumbitch.

"Dad, are you okay?" The Nuke inquired, as Kodi licked my face.

"Ah negative, Ghostrider, I am not okay."

Actually what I said sounded more like, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, jumping Jiminy it hurts like a sumbitch! Gimme a minute, m'kay?"

"Can you walk on it? Can you move it?"

"Standby, running a full BIT check..."

Actually what I said sounded more like, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, jumping Jiminy it hurts like a sumbitch!"

Eventually I regained my senses and rather gingerly moved my foot around (the right one mind you, the one not attached to my bad knee, or perhaps I should say worse knee). Seemed functional. Slowly I tried to arise from my reclined position on the sidewalk.

It was slow, it was awkward and oh yes, oh shit, oh dear, it hurt. But I discovered that I could more or less move, I could put a little weight on it. (Which, not to jump ahead in our story, the Doc at the ER said, "Oh, you shouldn't put any weight on it."

Hhmm, so should the wee daughter of mine attempted to lift my not inconsiderable bulk from the grip of the sidewalk? Nah, I told the Doc, "Okay, I won't do that again."

Off to the ER we went, fortunately it wasn't busy, couple of young kids with stomach bugs, not happy campers. No GSWs, no automotive mishaps, no belligerent drunks (yes, I've seen all of those in various ERs, here and there).

Got in, they took X-rays, three I think, then I was pronounced bowed but unbroken. 'Tis a sprain, no broken bones. Ice it, take pain meds as necessary (they offered opioids, I only hesitated a second before saying, "Nah, I'm good. OTC meds should be fine."), and here's a referral to an orthopedic guy, should you need it.

I'm "okay," but I won't be doing a lot of walking for the next few days (perhaps a fortnight the Doc said). Just what you want while visiting the Nation's Capital.

Ah well, I had a good couple of days, and that's no wee sma' thing.

So I am somewhat hobbled, and somewhat humbled. This too, shall pass.

Like Buck said, "It's always sumthin'."

Why yes, yes it is.


64 comments:

  1. You have my most sincere sympathies sir! My right ankle twinges in remembrance as I did something very similar on Father's Day this past June. Only in my case the stupid dog wrapped the lead around both ankles and then swept me off my feet. Landed on the right ankle. Not my usual graceful landing. Not my dog either.
    Keep it up, take your meds, stay OFF of it, and wait 3-4 weeks...it should be feeling better.
    Remember, ice is your friend!! Till it's been 2-3 days, then the heating pad works (30 min on, 90 off).

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  2. Or, "that's not what we meant when we said we like our stories to have a twist."

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  3. It's difficult to break steel, but it can be bent. Therefore, I would have been incredulous at the report of a break. A bend, however, well, that happens from time to time. Get well, It's an excuse to lounge around and have people fetch and carry for you.

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  4. I like LL's thoughts - "It's an excuse to lounge around and have people fetch and carry for you!". Although I'm sure you'd prefer the alternative of doing for yourself, just relax and let it heal. I hope the Doc told you not to put heat on it. I abused my ankle a number of years ago and the first think I did was to put heat on it for the swelling. When we got to the Doc, he chewed my butt good and told me you never put heat on a swelling, you always ice it. Time to read some more good books (or work on yours!).

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    Replies
    1. RICE - Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate! Or something, something, sports medicine.

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    2. Russ - Yup, ice good, heat bad for swelling.

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    3. a bear - Ah, that kind of RICE.

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    4. SAKE, a more potent form of RICE, might help, if you are an imbiber.

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  5. Careful, isn't this how the Six Million Dollar Man got his start? A painful crash followed by experimental medical procedures? Skulduggery by secret governmental agencies is afoot, keep an eye out Sarge! Don't blame me, having read many of Caiden's books back in the day including Cyborg.

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    Replies
    1. So, I should opt out of the ankle replacement surgery?

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  6. And by now the injured area should be very colorful.
    I was trying for an acronym that included beer, rest, and the already mentioned family waiting on you hand and foot but I couldn't get it to work.
    A bosun's pipe would work great for summoning minions.
    Do what the docs say, it does pay off.
    Take care.

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    Replies
    1. BREW - Beer, Rest, Endure, Wait (as in, the people waiting on you.)

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    2. John - actually the swelling is down a bit and it hasn't bruised up yet. Knock on wood.

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  7. Awww... whatta way to end the year!
    ...made for a funny read tho. (Not funny "Ha-Ha" but, well, yeah..funny "Ha-Ha!")
    Couldn't help myself.

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    Replies
    1. I always try to go with humor when I'm in pain.

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  8. Sorry to hear about your misfortune, my Friend. Hope your recovery is swift (the chances of that are enhanced it you follow the doctor's advice and that of your readers above, difficult as that may be).

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  9. Hope you drove to DC vice flying. Navigating an airport and airliner with crutches can't be easy. Happy New Year indeed.

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    Replies
    1. To garner sympathy, and gain an advantage in boarding there are those porters that push people in wheelchairs to the head of the line...

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    2. Tuna - we flew. Friday is gonna be "interesting."

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    3. I can see why. From pictures, I've deduced you're not a Congresswoman from Houston, with all the privileges that carries vis a vis flying on an airline.

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    4. Sarge, you garner plenty of sympathy even when you're not using crutches! bahahahahahhaha

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    5. Oh, Juvat. You're gonna melt in Heck for that comnment.

      Definitely not one of SJLs brightest moves.

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    6. Yeah, probably. She's not MY representative, but she is from MY State. Consequently, I'm embarrassed.

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    7. I know how you feel. I live in a conservative (mostly) section of Florida, and the fruitcakes from Miami-Dade (both state and national legistlaturists) are truly an embarrassment of unlucky riches, the whole crap-bag of them.

      I wonder if this was the move that is going to finally stick to that old bag of nothingness.

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  10. Just think, Sarge, now you have an entire new line of blog posts.
    You have my sympathies.
    I haven’t had the pleasure of a sprained ankle, but once upon a time I broke the tibia and tore the deltoid ligament.
    Be grateful.

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  11. You know, I get up every morning and build the Internet from scratch, using only bear skins and stone knives, just so I can have the opportunity to look at a picture of your hairy leg. My day is complete!

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    Replies
    1. And we appreciate all the work you do Proof.

      I thought a little leg was in order.

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  12. Saw the pic and thought you got a concealed carry ankle holster for Christmas. But....
    Best wishes for a good flight home and full recovery.
    John Blackshoe

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  13. I'm sorry to read about your accident. Take care of yourself. Let others help you. Take full advantage of the handicapped services provided by the airline on which you are flying. ( Yes, you are handicapped, if only for a short [ relatively ] while. ) I really hope that you are NOT flying on United Airlines.

    Get better soon,
    Paul L. Quandt

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    Replies
    1. American Airlines, I'm figuring out how to get assistance. Process looks simple enough.

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    2. Well, I guess AA is somewhat better than UA. However, if you lived in the civilized part of the U.S., i.e. the Pacific Northwest, you could fly on Alaska Airlines.

      PLQ

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  14. BTW:

    That is a beautiful floor under your foot ( in the photo ).

    Paul

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    Replies
    1. The Nuke's apartment is pretty nice. But it is an apartment, she bought a home in Alexandria, probably move in around February. It's a very nice townhome.

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  15. Sorry for the sprain and pain.. It seems like a lot of people are taking "early boarding" - it is your turn. I have some Vicodin here with me whilst traveling. Probably not a good idea for me to mail you some. I take about one a month "as needed". No, not an old war wound unless agent orange counts. The VA says it had to be "early onset". For me it took forty years.
    Get well soon - "RICE"

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  16. And of course, the time honored "Have a nice trip?" (ducks behind table). In the far way-back times while I was still in college, part of my running routine included stairs. Specifically, a seven story building on campus that had an open air concrete stair well on one end. I would run the stairs to the top, then jog down two steps at a time. (I know you can see this coming.) Yeah, one fine day along about the third floor on the way down, I caught the front edge of a step with the arch of my right foot. Loud pop? Check. Hurt enough to see stars? Check. I just KNEW I had broken something.

    One foot (left) hopped my way to the student health office. They checked me out and pronounced it a bad sprain. They issued me a set of crutches, and I made my way across campus and then the five blocks to where I was living. A few days later I was able wrap it with an ace bandage and hobble around.

    So rest up and get well soon. Alternate ice and heat. Ice for swelling, heat to promote circulation and healing. 80 proof (dammit!) so you don't give a $--t. You can try the sympathy routine with the staff, but don't over do it. They will just laugh at you. And, there's always the book to work on.

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  17. As any athletic trainer or Doc will tell you, a bad sprain is worse than a clean break any day, so treat it seariosly Sare.

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    Replies
    1. **Sarge** **seriously** Yikes!! My machine temp went haywire!!

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    2. The sprain is a 5 on the pain scale. Kidney stone was a 10+.

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  18. OUCH!! I'll bet it hurts like a sumbitch.

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  19. Take care! Hope you are feel'n better soon.

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  20. It's a times like this that we thank our blessings..............that we don't live alone.

    Sorry about the ankle and you've got scads of advice for how to carry on from above so I will simply say that I hope you don't do it again!

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    Replies
    1. Yup, gonna try and avoid that in the future Cap'n.

      All I can say is, "Ouch."

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  21. All in all, you might be lucky Sarge. A few years ago during lunch break a friend and I are getting some exercise in, speed walking - my foot catches an uplifted part of the sidewalk, I am doing my own superman imitation flying through the air, and land on my jaw.

    Blood and bits of tooth all over the sidewalk and my friend asks the classic question:

    " Are you all right?

    I'd had enough exercise for that day.

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    Replies
    1. OW!

      Yeah, I came out alright compared to your mishap.

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  22. Now you get to use a walking stick.
    Not a cane, canes are for old people.

    And remember RICE works (rest, ice, compression and elevation).

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  23. It'll feel better when it stops hurting. Used to hear those magic words from my ex-army M.D. Dad when I was a kid. Used them with good effect on my own kids many times.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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