Thursday, March 29, 2018

So That's What They're Called!

Smombie.

Smartphone zombie. Die Deutschen coined that one, so yeah, Smombie, there's a word I learned yesterday. Technically speaking, I suppose, it's a German word, they invented it. (For the inquiring minds, smart phone in German is, you guessed it, Smartphone. Zombie, auf Deutsch, is, natürlich, Zombie. Note: German nouns are always capitalized.)

The Beeb has an interesting article on this phenomenon here, seems the Chinese call them "the bowed head tribe." Very apt.

I see them at work, a lot. They drive our safety guy crazy. As these Smombies drift down the passageways, eyes glued to the wee screens held in front of them, the safety guy can barely restrain himself from slapping those "smart" phones to the floor. They are paying no attention whatsoever to what's in front of them.

There was one employee who, while obliviously staring at her phone, walked right off the paved surface of the parking lot and straight into a tree. Cuts and bruises, a reportable injury apparently. As our government overlords are fond of demanding that "something be done!" -  something was done.

The company cut down the tree and put down an asphalt sidewalk where the tree had stood. No, seriously. Rather than discipline the oblivious employee, they cut down the tree.

Ridiculous.

And the constant texting and tweeting. In Japan they refer to those individuals as the "clan of the thumbs." Better at typing with two thumbs than actually engaging in conversation.

China actually has experimented with two walking lanes, one for normal walkers, the other for the Smombies. Seriously. I had no idea that this was such a wide spread thing. Kids in Asia have actually been killed or seriously injured just walking into traffic while their brains are focused on the wee screen.

A website down in Oz calls it the "Smombie Apocalypse," an apt description if I do say so myself.

In the future no doubt, we'll have smart phone technology embedded in our skulls shortly after we're born.

All the better to control you with.

No wonder we have all these uproars and perturbations in modern times, there's a lot of folks out there already under remote control.

They just don't realize it.

(Source)
Some people's kids...



32 comments:

  1. Eventually, they'll all be hardwired into the Smombie brains. Then they won't need to be held and SkyNet can manage them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lucky for this guy I wasn't in the mood for fast food that day.

    Almost became a snack delivery, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They used to ask, "Does a bear shit in the woods"?

      I changed the question to, "Does a bear make you shit your pants?"

      - Bear

      Delete
    2. Survey says...

      Yes, yes it does!

      Delete
  3. The Tyrannosaurus used to have arms that were in proportion to its body. But then it learned to text. After that evolution took its toll.
    I predict that humans will further devolve until they have very short arms, (much like the aforementioned T rec) and there will be only a thumb on each hand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya... the four fingers will evolve into each other in order to hold the smartphone....(chuckle).

      Delete
    2. John - let's hope it's just some humans. Otherwise we'll die off.

      Delete
    3. Nylon12 - sort of a webbed hand kind of thing at first. Later on, paddles with thumbs.

      Delete
    4. Sorta like this?

      Got a pair of these for the wife and daughter at Christmas.

      Delete
    5. Now that is funny.

      (Apparently you can buy damn near anything on Amazon.)

      Delete
    6. I'm trying to think of a word to describe short vestigial digits, but I'm stumped.7

      Delete
    7. John, we're gonna have to dock your pay for that one.

      Delete
    8. John - I'm not sure there is one, let's call them sveds, short for Short VEstigial DigitS.

      Just a thought. (Whales have vestigial digits in their pectoral fins. I think...)

      Delete
    9. a bear - I'll alert the finance folks. ;)

      Delete
  4. You should see the crowd at a Condors hockey game. It is the seated version..............

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Man, go to a game and glue yourself to the smartphone?

      Why bother? Right?

      Delete
  5. I think the stoplights embedded in the sidewalk are a bad idea. They interfere with the Darwin Effect's ability to weed out Smombies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are absolutely correct! It's interfering with Nature! What would Saint Erogla say?

      Delete
  6. I have one of those so called smart phones, but I only use it for calls and responding to texts. If I wish to do something else, I use my desktop computer. Or play games on my desktop not connected to the internet.

    Thanks for the post.
    Paul L. Quandt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Old school Paul, you're old school.

      Yes, that's a good thing.

      Delete
    2. Why yes, yes I am.

      Smombie = The polite version.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPpSKPMabN8 = Old School version.

      Ah, what the heck. My favorite bit starts about the 2:45 mark--

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A38YO3f2Bv4

      Delete
  7. Smombies are fun to watch when they bump into things. Less funny while they're smombie-ing behind the wheel of a car.

    Thanks for the learning of a new word today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kind of a public service thing.

      (Yeah, I like the word too, I've already used it in conversation.)

      Delete
    2. Yes, it is a good noun, but smombie-ing doesn't sing as a verb. "Smomb" maybe? "I smomb, you smomb, he, she or it smombs." "They were smombing behind the wheel of a car."

      Delete
    3. Hhmm, I like where you're going with this Juvat.

      We need a good verb form!

      Delete
  8. As I am wont to say "I refuse to spend that much of my life staring at electrons".

    Electrozomb. Or something. Take it away...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Smombing.

      "Look at those Smombies, smombing in the middle of the road."

      Delete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)