Saturday, January 4, 2020

It Was John's Idea...

The USS Mustin (DDG 89) launches an ASCROC anti-submarine crocodile* during a live-fire exercise off Guam.
US Navy photo by Culinary Specialist 2nd Class Fidel C. Hart

(Modified with this by MSgt C.A.Goodrich)
The other day I posted one of those "the Air Force isn't really the military" memes, which of course I countered in brilliant Air Force fashion (though I might have used some big words which often confuse my counterparts in the other services 😁). A post which surprised me by the MCT** of comments it generated.

But by far one of the best comments was one from John in Philly with a simply brilliant, yet inadvertent, typo, to wit -


Yes, boys and girls, the dreaded ASCROC, the Anti-Submarine CROCodile, the little known and much feared Deductae erucae Crocodilus. Yes, it's the navalized version of the large semi-aquatic reptile that lives throughout the tropics in Africa, Asia, the Americas and Australia but specially adapted for anti-submarine warfare. These are loaded into the Mk-41 Vertical Launch System with a large rocket strapped to it's butt.

When an enemy submarine is detected within the range of this weapon system, the ASCROC is launched. The fiery departure from the destroyer tends to make the animal just a tad angry and it will immediately attack, and tear to pieces, the first thing it encounters after launch.

This Victor III Russian sub is blissfully unaware of the havoc to which it is about to be subjected.
I have heard that these guys are interested in acquiring an ASCROC capability...


Stands to reason doesn't it?

Rumors of the development by the Russians of a counter to the ASCROC, the Екатерина Великая Бегемот с воздуха, Тип 1, or Catherine the Great Air Deployed Hippo, Type 1 have yet to be confirmed by Your Humble Scribe. But it makes sense as a full grown hippo is definitely not afraid of crocodiles.

Екатерина Великая Бегемот с воздуха, Тип 1
Prototype
But what do I know?

The things my mind wanders to on a Friday night after a long week of not much sleep. In other news, Operation Marble Throne Room nears completion. Full report will come when that momentous event occurs.



* Obviously not really, the original photo was the launch of an actual ASROC, Anti-Submarine Rocket. A torpedo with a rocket strapped to its butt for the longer range which is in it.
** Yup, I'm gonna make you chase that down in the Acronym Page.

No hippos or crocodiles were harmed in the writing of this post...

30 comments:

  1. “Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.” ― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote
    (just kidding)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm almost there! (Where's Sancho Panza when you need him?)

      Delete
    2. Would an assistant to a Spanish tanker be a Sancho Panzer?

      Delete
  2. Heh...heh...heh...Wonder what the PLA Navy is working on considering what they stole from us over the years?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The dreaded hypersonic PANDA. Eats, shoots and leaves. Unlike the real panda, which eats shoots and leaves.

      It's all down in black and white.

      Delete
    2. Who said commas aren't important?

      Delete
  3. "We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered it's behind, and when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind"
    War of 1812 version.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you see, there's precedent for such a system!

      Delete
  4. The Moose beat me to it. Oh well, but he well knows we have a 200 year history on the use of the reptile for defense, offense, and a fence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not to mention the many reptiles in Congress.

      Delete
  5. New module for the LCS? Probably more effective than what is current.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A crocodile all by itself would be more effective than the Little Crappy Ship. Just need to get them in the right position.

      Delete
  6. You forgot to include a photo of the ASCROC “doing its business” to the filthy Commies.

    http://www.destroyers.org/photos-images/photos-dd-501-999/p-dd-826-asroc-1.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  7. You've got WAAAYYYY to much time on your hands, young man! Way to much. Don't you have bathrooms to build? Or something?

    Other than that, Mrs Lincoln.... the post was pretty funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Idle hands and all that. But it's back to work on Monday.

      Delete
    2. Bummer dude! But I'll be thinking of you then, as I'll be "working" also.

      Delete
  8. I've always thought more animal species need to be used by police and the military.

    "Stop, Thief/Terrorist!"
    "Screw you, Copper/Ami Pig!"
    "Stop or we'll release the tiger!"
    "Screw you!!!"
    (cage door opens... large feline growls and leaps after his new toy.)
    "Wait, what, AUUUUUGGHHHHgguurrggglle (splat.)"
    "Good boy, good boy, now chase the red dot, yes, chase it into your cage..)"

    Or for fighting a non-traditional conflict... the attack Cape Buffalo...

    Suicide goats?

    Camels with razor blades hidden in certain areas?

    So many options, so many ways to piss off PETA and the democrats...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have given this some thought I see. (Which is only a little scary...)

      Delete
    2. Suicide Goats WGAGNFARB.
      ASCROC FAGB

      The Gunners Mates in ASW division weren't the happiest of campers whenever we did live firing of the ASROC.
      The skidmarks left on the deck of their working space looked ugly and they'd be marked down during inspections.

      Delete
    3. Skip the 1st - That is a great name, ditto the second.

      Delete
    4. Skip the 2nd - Grunge, of course.

      Delete
  9. I wonder why PEARL HARBOR has her port admidships CLR ( Crocodile Launch Rails ) elevated?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your guess would be better than mine. (CLR, I see what you did there. Nice!)

      Delete
  10. This place wins the internet for the week. No contest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah gee, thanks.

      (John in Philly, take a bow.)

      Delete

Just be polite... that's all I ask. (For Buck)
Can't be nice, go somewhere else...

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