Last year it was the call from a very nasty sounding older woman indicating that unless I acted soon, the IRS was going to file a lawsuit against me.
Gee, I ain't never been sued by the gubmint, wonder what that's all about?
No, the IRS doesn't run around suing people for back taxes, nor do they want those back taxes paid with Target gift cards. At least not the last time I checked.
Friday night I get a threatening call (hhmm, sounds a lot like the same nasty lady from last year) indicating that I'm in deep trouble with the gubmint and unless I acted quickly...
We'll have the cops come arrest you.Well yes, of course, of course. We all know that the gubmint employs people with really bad language skills to call folks and threaten them.
Anybody with any sense knows that when the gubmint wants you, they just show up.
I did a little research and there's a lot of this crap going on, seems to run in cycles. The scammers like to target immigrants and the elderly.
Well, at Chez Sarge one of us is indeed an immigrant (The Missus Herself is a naturalized American, and she's way smarter than any scammer) and while we're both older than we will fess up to, we don't consider ourselves "elderly." Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Sigh...
In other news, on Thursday there was some oddball roaming the neighborhood, going door to door. At first I thought he had a rifle slung over his shoulder. Then I noticed it was an umbrella. It did rain quite a bit the other day. (And yes, I'm the guy who when he hears hoof beats, he thinks zebras, not horses. Hey, I'm complicated.)
Now I haven't seen any one (other than a couple of religious groups) going door to door in a while. Didn't know what this guy was up to.
Normally I just ignore the knock on the door, but Thursday I was right there in the kitchen and was feeling a mite feisty. Not looking to be an a-hole mind you, but I wouldn't walk away from the chance to "speak my mind." So I answered the door.
The fellow immediately goes into a spiel about me paying too much for my cell phone and why if he could just have a minute of my time...
As he actually reached for the door, somehow assuming that telepathically I was inviting him in, I stopped him with a rather abrupt, " I am not interested."
As he started to blather on, I hit him with the Sarge glare and said, "Please get off my property. Now."
"Uh, sure sir, right away sir." And off he scurried into the dusk.
Scammers, unwanted solicitations, and folks wanting money from my wallet.
Seems to be all the rage these days.
Sarge I could end those unwanted phone calls for you. In order to do that I will need your birth date, social security number, and a photocopy front and back of a credit card with access to at least $10,000. Just send it to my email address. No problem, glad to do it for a friend.
ReplyDeleteHahaha!
DeleteI had no idea it was that simple.
Since Juvat beat me to the offer to help with the calls then there's not much more I can say except living out in the middle of nowhere doesn't keep the random oddball from knocking on our door. I usually answer it but let our GSD do the talking. They usually decide rather abruptly after seeing her that they need to take their business elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteWhile the cats were staring at the door-to-door fellow in a most baleful way, it doesn't have the same intimidation factor as a dog.
DeleteFriend of mine has a cane corso (giant mastiff dogbeast) who doesn't bark at strangers or solicitors, she just sneaks up behind them and pokes them in the behind with her nose.
DeleteHe loves that little moment when they turn and realize what just bumped them. Puts the average salesman off their game, it does.
I would pay money to see that.
DeletePriceless!
What's most irritating is that, although there are laws in place and a facility for reporting violations, there is apparently no enforcement.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't help, either, that these @$$clowns can spoof just about any phone number they want.
Sure wish I had a solution.
It's almost unenforceable.
DeleteI live for the call with the thick India accent that says "We have detected a problem on your Windows computer..."
ReplyDeleteMe: Windows? The new windows we ordered are in? Hey, that's great!
India: Is it so that you are running Windows 10?
Me: 10? 10 Windows? Bulls--t!! We ordered 7 windows for our house! Don't tell me you people screwed the pooch on this again!
I leave the rest to your imagination.
Hahaha!
DeleteOne of those calls got to my wife when she was very sick one day, and I was out of the house getting meds. She stopped just before doing something really stupid on her brand-new computer (less than a week old at that time.) She told Windows-India dude to call back in a couple hours.
DeleteHe did, I answered, acted like everything was normal, was doing what he wanted, and then took the phone to the bathroom and dropped, apparently, a whole school's worth of kids off at the pool, with the speaker on, right next to the diving board.
I got to enjoy the sounds of disgusted people for a minute before they hung up. They've never called back with that particular scam since then.
Never challenge me on 'Ugly American.'
Back in the late 70's, it used to be the funeral homes calling around dinner time. My dad would answer them with, "Uh-huh, uh-huh, I don't plan on dying, thank you."
He was much more polite than me. Except for the time he fired a blank from his pistol right next to the phone, but that's another story...
Well played!
DeleteWell, when you live more than a mile from the nearest thoroughfare, on a dead end road behind two gates, with a sheriff's deputy living between you and said thoroughfare, you don't get many unexpected visitors. The land line is strictly for 911 purposes, so don't bother calling on it, it doesn't get answered. If I don't recognize the phone number on my cell, you've got about a 50/50 chance of my answering it, and good luck on my listening to the voice mail.
ReplyDeleteYes...I have studied Crankiness from the Master.
Living out in the sticks gives a level of privacy that city slickers can't quite grasp.
DeleteLiving in a small town, we, so far, have not had the door to door types. As for the phone scammers, I just say that I don't have a computer. That seems to confuse them as everyone has a computer. But it makes them go away.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post.
Paul L. Quandt
That was the first sales-type person wandering the 'hood. Hopefully the last!
DeleteI'm with RHT: "I live for the call with the thick India accent that says "We have detected a problem on your Windows computer..."
ReplyDeleteI love that guy! I always ask him "Which one? I have three" (Actually if you count all the carcasses, I have more!)
I always hear a long pause after that. And if he is hapless enough to repeat his nonsensical claim, I just ask him again, "Which one? Which computer has the problem? Is it my laptop? The desktop?" He typically goes away after that.
I like to ask them how they contacted me as I don't have a phone. They want to know how I'm talking to them and I tell them it's a pay phone in an airport.
DeleteConfusion, and sometimes hilarity, ensues.
Pay phone. That's a great idea! I need to get a voice memo on my iphone (they usually call my land line) that says "Please deposit 25 cents for the next three minutes", play it next to the mouthpiece, and then I can say, "Gotta go! Bye!"
DeleteHahaha!
DeleteYears ago there was a life insurance company that had people go door to door. They would read from a printed script, work for word. If interrupted, they would go back to the start and begin again. A lot of insurance was sold that way. Different times now. As I recall the premiums were around $3 per month.
ReplyDeleteWow.
DeleteNow there's a crappy job.
Totally off topic, but for those who have not seen this, enjoy.
ReplyDeleteThe Blues.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy3nsRvhgSE
The Blues are never off topic here.
DeleteHey old AF Sarge;
ReplyDeleteI would make comments about your geriatrics and being a mark for scammers because of your advanced age....but I have been taught to have respect for elders ;) Seriously, the IRS send letters, the kind you have to sign for, they don't call you. I had a similar situation back when I had a landline(I don't have it anymore, been landline free for the past 10 years since the only people that called me on it inquired about changing my service or scammers.) Last IRS scammer that called me, I replied "Go ahead, and bring lots of friends...". Some more words were exchanged and I hung up, then notified the real IRS with the phone number and let them deal with it.
Hahaha!
DeleteThe IRS is well aware of these scams.